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How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

3.8  ·  Rating Details ·  12,978 Ratings  ·  481 Reviews
"You'll not only break the ice, you'll melt it away with your new skills." -- Larry King

"The lost art of verbal communication may be revitalized by Leil Lowndes." -- Harvey McKay, author of "How to Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive"

What is that magic quality makes some people instantly loved and respected? Everyone wants to be their friend (or, if single, thei
ebook, 345 pages
Published October 10th 2003 by Contemporary Books (first published January 1st 1999)
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Chad Warner
Sep 30, 2012 Chad Warner rated it liked it
Recommends it for: businesspeople
A useful collection of tips for social interactions, mostly for business networking. They emphasize nonverbal communication such as body language and vocal tone. This book definitely increased my awareness of my social behavior, and I’ll keep several of the tips in mind.

If you’ve read How to Win Friends and Influence People (my review) or other books about winning people over, you won’t find much new here. However, there are a few tips that countered common wisdom, such as waiting until after a
Dec 21, 2008 Laura rated it it was ok
The woman who wrote this may have social skills, but she is also an idiot. The book is unfortunately so shoddily and offensively written, I often found myself needing to take breathers between chapters. At least 150 pages of this tome needn't exist. Like a true conversationalist, Landes makes sure every single "trick" is accompanied by one or two vapid anecdotes. She has some good tips, but far from 92 of them. Some just make you a stupid jerk -- instructions on how to trap someone else into spe ...more
Nov 27, 2011 Michelle rated it really liked it
Shelves: kindle-read
I'm on a mission of self-improvement. I found many of the tips in this book to be very helpful (especially those focused on conversations), and I'm already putting some of them into practice. What I liked was the practical advice and clear examples and anecdotes for each tip.

I docked a star because I while I understand where Lowndes was going with the "Big Cat" vs "Little Cat" comparison (or "Big Winners" vs "Losers"), at times I felt she took it too far. For example, it came across in the book
Jan 02, 2012 Sarah rated it it was ok
The first impulse is to rip this book to shreds in my review because of how many times it made me cringe and cover my face with my palm. I have honestly never read anything quite so...bombastic. It gets extremely laughable and pitiful. I shall elaborate.

The author of this book, Leil Lowndes, has divided the book into 92 "mini-essays" for each of her "little tricks". Each mini-essay comes with some kind of anecdote. You can guarantee these anecdotes will tell us all about Leil's very very high po
Mar 31, 2007 Brian rated it did not like it
2 word review, shit sandwich.
May 16, 2008 Alexis rated it did not like it
This lady probably has some good social skills herself, but she's a god damn idiot.
Theoderik Trajanson
Apr 11, 2016 Theoderik Trajanson rated it it was amazing
1. The Flooding Smile – Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the beneficiary. Instead, look at the other person’s face for a second. Pause. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes. It will engulf the recipient like a warm wave. The split-second delay convinces people your flooding smile is genuine and only for them.
2. Sticky Eyes – Pretend your eye
Jan 01, 2015 Sarah rated it did not like it
Shelves: what-the-fuck, nope
I read this book because the title was appealing to me, an awkward turtle. But it wasn't helpful at all. I'm not good at small talk even when I know what I should say, I probably have ADD and I don't like looking people in the eyes for too long. Nearly all these tips are so phony and about basically being a fake person for other people so they like you. The tips are all fairly obvious (if not contradictory) but it doesn't help anyone like me who already knows the lot of it but has severe trouble ...more
Sepideh R
Jul 22, 2015 Sepideh R rated it really liked it
از کتاباییه که هر کسی باید بخونه
به نظرم یک بار خوندن واسه اظهار نظر کافی نیست
وقتی بار دوم خوندم دوباره ادیت میکنم
May 11, 2012 Aliya rated it really liked it
Having scoured Amazon for days, I finally narrowed my selection to three books on social skills, one of which was this book.

I was looking for advice on honing my conversational skills to the level of a social butterfly. Having some experience as a management trainer, I look at self-help books critically and here is my analysis.

First the positives. This book does teach you some important and overlooked facts that are helpful for all of us, as they may be our blind spots. It also gives you real li
Chris Dietz
Oct 25, 2010 Chris Dietz rated it liked it
This book delivered what it advertised in that there were 92 tips in it. 'How to talk to anyone', however, didn't seem to come across as much as 'how to talk to someone who's potentially hiring you and/or someone who you're sexually interested in.' Then again, maybe that IS anyone. Either way, this book had a couple truly good, insightful tips (all at the beginning), and the rest was either common sense or something that a socially observant person would have already picked up on in the course o ...more
Apr 20, 2016 Trevor rated it did not like it
There's a (likely apocryphal) story about Groucho Marx being interviewed, where the interviewer asked him what the key to success as an actor was. Marx responded, "Sincerity is the key. Once you can fake that, you've got it made."

Leil Lowndes apparently feels the same way, but she appears not to catch the irony in it.

There's a difference between advice that helps bring out the real you, enabling you to put your best foot forward, and advice that helps hide the real you, enabling you to convinc
ضهرا درعلی
Feb 22, 2015 ضهرا درعلی rated it it was amazing
چندین بار دیگه هم ،خواهم خوند این کتاب رو8>
Hatem Araar
Mar 11, 2017 Hatem Araar rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book for anyone who wants to learn more communication tricks
Neil Coulter

The content of Leil Lowndes's How to Talk to Anyone is much better described by its subtitle: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships. Some of the book is about talking to people, but quite a bit is about other aspects of relationships. I read this just after reading How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman (reviewed here). Both books are on similar topics, but written by very different authors. While Boothman's book is short and less thorough than I would

Arminda Lindsay
I'm a big fan of clear communication and speaking up and representing yourself. I am also a big fan of relevant and concise information, without wasting anyone's time, especially my own and that of my clients'. This book is too long, it is badly read in the audio version AND it is dated. Very very dated. I lost track of moments I was embarrassed for the author because it would be so easy to revise and update this resource. And her self-aggrandizement got old after the first time she did it, but ...more
Jacob Walls
Mar 21, 2017 Jacob Walls rated it really liked it
Repeating an action makes a habit
Your habits create your character
Your character is your destiny..
Feb 28, 2016 Sarah rated it it was ok
I can see why this received such mixed reviews. On one hand, some of these tips make sense. For example, when giving appreciation it's more meaningful to the recipient to hear why you're grateful, so you should always say, "Thank you for (something)." For some of her tips, she includes suggestions by experts in social sciences.

On the other hand, she sometimes offers advice and examples without ample research. For example, she suggests using a tradesperson's lingo to get a better deal. Then, she
Oct 17, 2011 Gio rated it liked it
Some good tips and some obvious ones. I can, and will, apply parts of this book to my life but the content and tone is heavily geared towards your professional life and creating somewhat artificial relationships to get sales or get ahead. This isn't what I wanted or expected from the title.

For some this book might be more valuable by skipping the talk of big cats and glass ceilings, reading the tips at the end of the chapter and then reading that chapter if they apply. Some of the information f
Indi Martin
Oct 19, 2009 Indi Martin rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-enjoyed
I don't generally go for self-help books. I find that most of them couch painfully common sense in media-ready sound bytes, and it pains me in return to spend money on them. But this one caught my eye, and flipping through it, kept it, so I gave in to the urge (needed something light and fluffy after all that Cambodia/Khmer Rouge reading anyway!). What do you know? This is a fantastic book. I practiced some of the techniques the other day at a gathering of a few new acquaintances, and they worke ...more
Cindy Lau
Apr 19, 2007 Cindy Lau rated it did not like it
my mom made me read it; the "tricks" are totally superficial and many of them are actually rather conniving. i'm not a fan.
Emad Elsaid
Aug 10, 2014 Emad Elsaid rated it liked it
حلو الكتاب ده ماكملتوش كله، بس اللى قرأته منه ساعدنى فعلآ فى تحسين الcommunication skills بتاعتى
هو طويل شوية و كله tips مفيدة رغم انها trivial بس بتحتاج حد ينبهك ليها
Rey Carter
Feb 08, 2013 Rey Carter rated it did not like it
This book sucks.
W. Whalin
Jun 17, 2017 W. Whalin rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Never Lack for Something to Talk About

If you are struggling to make “small talk” or have something to talk about in a group or at a party or with individuals, you need to listen to HOW TO TALK TO ANYONE. Subtitled, “62 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships,” you will find a cornucopia of practical ideas which the author combines with her own personal illustrations and stories. I heard this book in audio from cover to cover and enjoyed it. I recommend this audio book.
Mar 18, 2017 Philip rated it liked it
It's quite an interesting book to read in regards on how to improve on your communication skills. The book also outlines techniques which can be useful to the reader. Furthermore, I like that the author used passed experiences of communication of all sorts in various settings to enable the user to comprehend the information he digests and pin-point the flaws in the aforementioned experience. In my candid opinion it's a good book but there's more to communication than the given techniques in this ...more
Roland Martinez
Mar 09, 2017 Roland Martinez rated it really liked it
This book is intended as an update on How to win Friends and Influence People. It does have a bevy of good practical suggestions. The reason the book does get a full five stars is because the author's voice is grating. The author could use a measure of humility in the anecdotes. I'd recommend it to people interested in communication skills but I'll be looking for something better.
Togoldor Erdenebileg
Could've been much shorter, in my opinion. In some parts, she goes over the points she had already mentioned before. Overall, most of the ideas and tricks were very entertaining and I will try to use them in my everyday life. Let's see if they really work or not!
Nov 16, 2015 BookCupid rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
A.k.A: How to talk to anyone you deem worthy.

Whether you're attracted to someone, need to get ahead in business, or simply want to increase your friendships (face-to-face or online) this books carries a lot of advice. 92 examples to be exact. It guides you on how to start a conversation, the tempo you should use, reading non-verbal signs and all the suave techniques to mingle your way into a crowd of strangers. But does it work??

I love talking to people, and find it easy to handle conversations
Aug 06, 2016 Jeff rated it did not like it
A book of tips on increasing communication skills. While there are some interesting tips, particularly in the opening and compliments sections, the message of this book is seriously undermined by three flaws.

First, the book has a pervasively smug tone. Many readers will be put off by the number of times the author refers to "big winners," "big players," and "big cats," and the constant sense that the author is trying to boast of her "big tiger" friends in the furniture industry. This overweenin
Jun 07, 2008 Emme rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed this little book while peeling and proccessing mangos into jam and fruit leather. It was a lot of fun. I heard plenty of cheezy, dated verbage, which just added to the entertainment. I did come away with some great thoughts to add to my ideas about rapport, ideas that help communicate the interest I already have in my friends and family. I learned some background explanations about why some people put me at ease more and why some things I do naturally feel good. There were moments I fe ...more
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“take consolation from the fact that the brighter the individual, the more he or she detests small talk.” 2 likes
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