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397th out of 2,978 books
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2,311 voters
Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic
Put aside your expectations. This "rueful, riveting, piercingly funny" (Julia Cameron) book is written by a Harvard graduate -- but it tells a story in which hearts trump brains every time. It's a tale about mothering a Down syndrome child that opts for sass over sap, and it's a book of heavenly visions and inexplicable phenomena that's as down-to-earth as anyone could ask...more
Paperback, 336 pages
Published
August 1st 2000
by Berkley Trade
(first published June 3rd 2000)
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This book was recommended to me as a wonderful read, filled with spiritual strength. Unfortunately, I had a very different experience with it. It greatly disturbs me that so many women have been duped by this book.
It's a memoir of Martha Beck's spiritual struggle as she gives birth to a son with Down Syndrome. In reality, it's the story of a woman's fall from truth and grace. She repeatedly rejected the hand of the Lord reaching out to her during her time of need. After I read the book, I resear...more
It's a memoir of Martha Beck's spiritual struggle as she gives birth to a son with Down Syndrome. In reality, it's the story of a woman's fall from truth and grace. She repeatedly rejected the hand of the Lord reaching out to her during her time of need. After I read the book, I resear...more
Memoirs are tough. They lie in that fuzzy grey area somewhere between truth and fiction, and are, by definition, the subjective experiences of someone you may or may not like. This book is, shall we say, less grey than most--I would actually call it a novel.
I had nothing else to read, the library was closed, and I thought this book would be an interesting insight into another family with Down syndrome. The book was entertaining--albeit more for the the author's fantastic experiences and her alm...more
I had nothing else to read, the library was closed, and I thought this book would be an interesting insight into another family with Down syndrome. The book was entertaining--albeit more for the the author's fantastic experiences and her alm...more
I really agree with Jenni's review of this book. There were parts in it that were really fantastic, and the author definitely has talent, but so much of it was contradictory and offensive. I hated how Beck wrote that she detested the arrogance and superiority at Harvard, but she makes it VERY clear how very intelligent and gifted she herself is. She goes on and on . . . really beating the reader over the head with it.
She is too intelligent, in fact, to fall for the religious beliefs she and her...more
She is too intelligent, in fact, to fall for the religious beliefs she and her...more
Extremely well written. Has some brilliant moments. But in the end, I just couldn't get past the WAY creepy feeling the book gave me. I know a lot of people that love it...but I think the author is a walking contradiction: not sure of what she believes, what is truth and what is fiction. If you're going to read the book, I would recommend knowing the author's religious/anti-religious bias, background, and current controversies. Just know what you're getting into.
10 likes · like · see review
"...you'll never be hurt as much by being open as you have been hurt by remaining closed."
"...then I understood. She was talking about the soothing, singsong language mothers speak spontaneously when they talk to babies. Baby talk is found in all nations, all cultures; it is the original Mother Tongue. It translates across any language barrier because it is more about music than about words; the sounds themselves, not their meaning, give comfort and support."
"When he got home, the sun came out."...more
"...then I understood. She was talking about the soothing, singsong language mothers speak spontaneously when they talk to babies. Baby talk is found in all nations, all cultures; it is the original Mother Tongue. It translates across any language barrier because it is more about music than about words; the sounds themselves, not their meaning, give comfort and support."
"When he got home, the sun came out."...more
Jul 14, 2007
Kristine
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
probably women
Shelves:
favoritestorecommend
So good. So much to say... true story, and I love Beck's writing style.
Here's the hook:
Beck is in a PhD program at Harvard. She gets pregnant, has amazing visions and intuitions during the pregnancy, like seeing what her husband sees as he is in China (or somewhere). She finds out the baby she is carrying has Down's Syndrome, and from then on, no one in the department mentions her pregnancy. They are horrified that she wouldn't terminate an imperfect baby... this is when she realizes that acade...more
Here's the hook:
Beck is in a PhD program at Harvard. She gets pregnant, has amazing visions and intuitions during the pregnancy, like seeing what her husband sees as he is in China (or somewhere). She finds out the baby she is carrying has Down's Syndrome, and from then on, no one in the department mentions her pregnancy. They are horrified that she wouldn't terminate an imperfect baby... this is when she realizes that acade...more
This book describes the author's experience of carrying to term a Down's Syndrome baby while she and her husband were graduate students at Harvard in the 1980's. The juxtaposition of this non-practicing Mormon family's religious heritage, intellectual milieu, and vivid spiritual experiences made this book fascinating to me, doubly so because the author and her husband were acquaintances of mine long ago. The book is funny, witty, and wonderful in its descriptions of intellectual and family life....more
4 likes · like · see review
Here's the review I wrote on Amazon a couple years ago when we read this book for book club:
As an LDS woman, Harvard alum, mother, and friend to someone who has Down Syndrome, I anticipated loving this book. I somehow imagined that Beck's experiences might have mirrored mine, that I would find in her a kindred spirit. I was wrong.
Beck's Harvard is inhabited with mean-spirited, intensely competitive, narrowly focused, hamsteresque charicatures. None of the students or professors has the wisdom,...more
As an LDS woman, Harvard alum, mother, and friend to someone who has Down Syndrome, I anticipated loving this book. I somehow imagined that Beck's experiences might have mirrored mine, that I would find in her a kindred spirit. I was wrong.
Beck's Harvard is inhabited with mean-spirited, intensely competitive, narrowly focused, hamsteresque charicatures. None of the students or professors has the wisdom,...more
I'm not exaggerating when I say this is the most beautiful book I've ever read. It's about a subject I've been fascinated by for a little while now and yet one that so many people seem so tight-lipped about. I remember a church leader telling our student congregation my freshman year of college that he felt it was important for us to know that angels really exist and administer to humans on Earth, but that was it: no further details. My mom has confessed that she knows her "guardian angel" is he...more
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Although Martha Beck has some writing talent and this book is in some ways a very interesting read, the drawbacks make it more of a one or two star read.
In spite of it being a one plus or two minus star read, I admit I was wanting to know what would happen next and read it quickly. As it went along it felt more like a movie or book that I realized at some point wasn't really very good, but I wanted to know what was going to happen anyway. Its contradictory nature made it more of a garbage book...more
In spite of it being a one plus or two minus star read, I admit I was wanting to know what would happen next and read it quickly. As it went along it felt more like a movie or book that I realized at some point wasn't really very good, but I wanted to know what was going to happen anyway. Its contradictory nature made it more of a garbage book...more
A few months ago, my husband and I went to the Friends of the Seattle Public Library book sale, a huge book sale held in an old airplane hangar. Books are piled up everywhere, and people are toting around bags and suitcases, nudging--even pushing--each other to discover the treasure of a good book...it's great fun!
I found a few books I thought worthy of my time, including Expecting Adam. For some reason, I'm drawn to stories about real people and real lives. I often agree with Mark Twain that "t...more
I found a few books I thought worthy of my time, including Expecting Adam. For some reason, I'm drawn to stories about real people and real lives. I often agree with Mark Twain that "t...more
I received Expecting Adam by Martha Beck as a gift when I was about 14 weeks pregnant with Harriet. That's the time when one is tested for possible genetic abnormalities like Down Syndrome. Expecting Adam is Beck's memoir of her difficult pregnancy with Adam, her son who has Down Syndrome.
As some one who has suffered through two miscarriages for unknown reasons, I completely understand Beck's decision to continue with her pregnancy even though her son would require extra help at school and would...more
As some one who has suffered through two miscarriages for unknown reasons, I completely understand Beck's decision to continue with her pregnancy even though her son would require extra help at school and would...more
This book is about a woman who is pregnant with a Down syndrome baby. During her pregnancy, she experiences many different spiritual occurrences and tiny miracles. She and her husband are both deeply embedded in the Harvard community, and tend to have to ask the question, "Is it rational?" At the beginning of the pregnancy they are both very skeptical of the feelings, voices, and visions but grow to embrace it as a part of their son.
I really enjoyed this book, but there was one thing that real...more
I really enjoyed this book, but there was one thing that real...more
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A friend told me about this book. It is not something that I normally would have picked up on my own. It is the author's autobiographical story of her second pregnancy. During the pregnancy, she found out through amneosenthesis (sp?) that her son would be born with Down's syndrome. By the way, both she and her husband were studying for PhDs at Harvard during this time. [As a side note, the friend who recommended this book was in the second year of her Master's studies at Harvard when she was pre...more
Oddly enough, another one of my all time favorite books. Martha Beck and her huband are both caught up in the world of academa at Harvard University and find themselves expecting their second child, only to discover he has Down Syndrome. An amazing story of how they prepare themselves for their son's birth (keeping him is never a question) and of the strange, supernatural events occurring during Martha's pregnancy. (For example, prior to Adam's birth, both parents independently somehow know that...more
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While the story itself was amazing, I just couldn't get past the authors underhanded bad comments about the LDS church. She lumped all members under what she grew up with. I kept waiting for her to get a clue and realize the "puppets" she had helping her along the way was really God. I kept telling myself I wasn't going to finish reading the book but I kept going back in hopes that she would wise up. For a Harvard graduate with a bunch of degrees she isn't all that wise. If I had known more abou...more
I waiting for three months to be available at our public library and when I'd finished it, I wondered why??? The book itself is told by a mother who found out that the baby she was expecting had Down Syndrome. It tells of some of the experiences she had as she and her family came to terms with her son's diagnosis and is interwoven with bits and pieces from her son's childhood. It could have been a neat book, but my emotions teetered between disgusted and saddened as I read; I felt like she made...more
I'll be honest, it's been such a long time since I first read this book it's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that I loved about it. I remember that at the time I was concerned about diversity issues on my college campus because of my job and that I felt like this book was shouting the answers outloud. I love the quote at on the back of the book that says something about this family having to unlearn everything that Harvard had taught them. It's so true that we can get so wrapped up in what e...more
As I was reading this book the first thought was, wow, she really likes to let people know that she went to Harvard. Even as the book progressed I had a hard time and had to stop a few times. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy the book; I just had a really hard time with the reaction that so many people gave to her when they found out that her baby would have Down Syndrome. It was difficult to understand how callus some people could be. As I finished the book, there were many experiences that I felt...more
I stopped reading this book midway through it. I am pregnant and felt that the images of miscarriage were a little too much for me. I also felt this was a very emotional book and I'm focusing on keeping my vibe positive for this pregnancy.
This author interests me, mostly because of who she is and the claims that she's made -- She's Hugh Nibly's daughter and she's made sexual abuse claims.
While I thought this book started out very sweet and I am interested in finishing it after I deliver, I had...more
This author interests me, mostly because of who she is and the claims that she's made -- She's Hugh Nibly's daughter and she's made sexual abuse claims.
While I thought this book started out very sweet and I am interested in finishing it after I deliver, I had...more
I have a real hate/love relationship with all things Oprah, meaning I get the magazine but hate myself in the morning, you know what I mean (or maybe not... major root canal, people, I don't even know what I mean). But I love Martha Beck, her sanity, her clarity, her humor. She's got a regular column in Oprah which is one of the reasons I keep getting the magazine. Before I really knew she was a life coach (doesn't that just sound dreadful, but get over it, she's not a jerk) I read this book and...more
The story of a mother, studying at Harvard, who has a son with Down's Syndrome.
Overall, it wasn't a bad book. I actually enjoyed it. Except that Beck is so disenchanted with the Mormon faith. Which made me enjoy the book a lot less than I would have if she hadn't harped about her problems with it so much.
(I'm fine that she doesn't like the Church. She doesn't have to like it. I'd be just as annoyed reading an author who was disenchanted with any other faith: another branch of Christianity, Judai...more
Overall, it wasn't a bad book. I actually enjoyed it. Except that Beck is so disenchanted with the Mormon faith. Which made me enjoy the book a lot less than I would have if she hadn't harped about her problems with it so much.
(I'm fine that she doesn't like the Church. She doesn't have to like it. I'd be just as annoyed reading an author who was disenchanted with any other faith: another branch of Christianity, Judai...more
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Weirdness surrounds this title - it's supposed to be non-fiction but she submitted the basics of the story as a novel and had it rejected. She tells of this magical connection between herself and her husband, but they have since divorced and are both in homosexual relationships. There's some question if the morning sickness she had constantly during her pregnancy was bulimia. Neither her family nor her husband's seems happy with their portrayal in the book. Just weirdness. Makes it hard to truck...more
I picked up "Expecting Adam" thinking it would be a quick and mildly enjoyable read, something I might enjoy for the subject matter but not much else.
I was very pleasantly surprised, then, when I started reading and became quite emotionally involved in the story. Maybe it's just because I'm four months pregnant, but I found Martha and John's semi-mystical attachment to their son and their decision to keep him deeply affecting.
Without becoming a diatribe on one side or the other of the culture...more
I was very pleasantly surprised, then, when I started reading and became quite emotionally involved in the story. Maybe it's just because I'm four months pregnant, but I found Martha and John's semi-mystical attachment to their son and their decision to keep him deeply affecting.
Without becoming a diatribe on one side or the other of the culture...more
The author and her husband had two Harvard degrees apiece and were each working on a third when they conceived their second child. In the midst of a difficult pregnancy, they learn that the baby has Down syndrome. Against the advice of everyone they know, they decide to continue the pregnancy, and this book is the story of all of the miraculous things that happen to them along the way. The book is written when Adam is 9 years old, and the author includes anecdotes from his early years. The super...more
I have a lot of thoughts about this book. On the positive side, I really appreciated the themes of parenthood vs. career, women's reproductive health, and learning to love and accept a person with disabilities. This book made me think about I how feel about these issues and examine my own attitudes and behaviors.
The "mistake" I made with this book(as I often do with books I read)was try to learn a little more about the author before I started reading. I found Martha Beck's life story so bizarre...more
The "mistake" I made with this book(as I often do with books I read)was try to learn a little more about the author before I started reading. I found Martha Beck's life story so bizarre...more
This book is very hard for me to rate... there are some things about it that I want to give it a High Five, and some things were so hard for me to believe that I thought about making it a single star. So here I am riding the fence and going with 3 stars.
Martha Beck wrote this as her story about her second pregnancy…it was very hard on her physically, and then was made even harder when she found out that the baby she carried had Down Syndrome. She proceeds to tell the story of all the things tha...more
Martha Beck wrote this as her story about her second pregnancy…it was very hard on her physically, and then was made even harder when she found out that the baby she carried had Down Syndrome. She proceeds to tell the story of all the things tha...more
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As Harvard doctorate students, John and Martha Beck already had their hands full with their young marriage and daughter when Martha learned she was pregnant with their second child. With childbirth making her gravely ill, fellow Harvard academics questioning her choices, and a husband traveling between the U.S. and Asia, Martha’s pregnancy is anything but easy. Then she gets the news that she will be one of the rare young mothers of a Down Syndrome baby. Her choice to give birth to her son in sp...more
I thoroughly enjoy Martha's writing style and honest descriptions!
p. 58 "One of the great myths of our society is that when women are left with small children, they are not alone. The truth is that a mother left with babies is far more alone than she would be without them; every bit of energy, attention, protectiveness, and care she might use to meet her own needs must first be directed toward the needs of her children . That's why the Bible always laments the fate of 'those who are with child a...more
p. 58 "One of the great myths of our society is that when women are left with small children, they are not alone. The truth is that a mother left with babies is far more alone than she would be without them; every bit of energy, attention, protectiveness, and care she might use to meet her own needs must first be directed toward the needs of her children . That's why the Bible always laments the fate of 'those who are with child a...more
3.5 stars. This book is about a couple who learns their unborn child is going to have Down Syndrome, so I assumed it would be a tear-jerker. While I certainly did get teary at times, it also was side-splittingly funny and the funny parts are what makes me want to recommend it to people. I especially enjoyed:
- The author's wickedly funny (or should that be "wicked funny"?) descriptions of life and work at Harvard in the 80's. Don't know if they are accurate but definitely represent some "types" o...more
- The author's wickedly funny (or should that be "wicked funny"?) descriptions of life and work at Harvard in the 80's. Don't know if they are accurate but definitely represent some "types" o...more
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Martha Beck is a writer and "life coach" who specializes in helping people design satisfying and meaningful life experiences. She holds a bachelor's degree in East Asian Studies and master's and Ph.D. degrees in sociology, all from Harvard University.
She worked as a research associate at Harvard Business School, studying career paths and life-course changes in today's economic and social environme...more
More about Martha N. Beck...
She worked as a research associate at Harvard Business School, studying career paths and life-course changes in today's economic and social environme...more
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“Angels come in many shapes and sizes, and most of them are not invisible.”
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7 people liked it
“Most people go through their whole lives," John went on, "and never have one miracle happen to them. You've had dozens and dozens, and you still want more! It's like God gives you a brownie, I mean a really good brownie, but you can't be content with it. You want the whole pan of brownies. Nobody gets that.”
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6 people liked it
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