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If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!
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If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!

3.73 of 5 stars 3.73  ·  rating details  ·  372 ratings  ·  28 reviews
Cynthia Heimel has been described by the Chicago Tribune as "perhaps our funniest war correspondent on the war between the sexes"; her wisdom on dating includes such gems as: "My new rule is to never believe a person is interested until you feel his tongue down your throat." If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?! shows Heimel at her wicked best. When sex p ...more
Paperback, 240 pages
Published October 9th 2002 by Grove Press (first published 1991)
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Glen Engel-Cox
I really wanted to like this book. With a great title like that, I expected it to be a comic look at the relations between men and women, likely coming hard down on the side of women. Instead, it is a mismash of New York angst mixed with the fading regret of yet another runaway from the 60s. In short, choppy doses (each section was originally published as individual essays in Playboy, Cosmopolitan, or The Village Voice), Heimel raves against the world, but not of it ever is funny enough to make ...more
Sara Schraeder
Her essay entitled "Why I Hate Marilyn" earns five stars. And should be required reading in a culture idolizing the likes of Paris Hilton and Kim Khardashian.
Organized into essays on the times (late 80s), women, men, women and men, and the author's life, this book got off to a slow start for me. This is likely due to the fact that the first set of essays dealt with the 80s, which felt totally irrelevant. This is also the first book by Heimel that I've read, so I feel like I didn't quite get where she was coming from when I first picked this book up.

The book really hit its stride when it came to the section on women, men, and women and men. The essay
A collection of dated and angsty feminist rants. A lot of the essays contain the same basic and tired themes: All men are shallow, chauvinistic pigs all the time; women who aren't hardcore, bra-burning feminists are just mindless sex objects and/or too stupid to provide for themselves; women who are hardcore, bra-burning feminists are automatically the most amazing people ever.
I love Heimel's books, they are hilarious but true to life
Classic sarcastic middle age woman writing. It was funny witty and well written.
Alice Urchin
After reading one of Cynthia Heimel's essays in an anthology (Here Lies My Heart was the anthology, I can't remember the name of her essay), I decided to buy three of her books on Amazon. This book is (mostly) a collection of short columns she wrote for Playboy Magazine. She's clever and witty, but not as outrageous as, say, Chelsea Handler. Also, a lot of her columns are colored by feminist thought, which is cool.
I know I should like this-the author is labeld as funny and feminist, blah blah blah. But honestly, this book is the literary equivalent of the old Catskills comedians that may have been funny or edgy in their day but their schtick doesn't translate well in current days. So, I might try another of her books but this one did not age well.
Jul 15, 2007 Miund rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: those who love Sex and The City
I thought 'Carrie Bradshaw' was the coolest and sexiest columnist ever. Well, before Sarah-Jessica Parker was even out of high school, Cynthia Heimel was already sexy in the city. I laughed aloud reading her bits on men, sex, dating and neighbors. Such a witty writer... and the best thing is: She's not a fictional character! HA!
Dec 03, 2011 Meter added it
gabby feminist perspective.

written in around 1991. much is silly, dated, a brand of irreverent toss-about humor thats not that funny... but it only takes a few hours and serves as a recap of some forgotten territory. a realization that some complaints have been around a while.
I read this collection of her columns back when it was published in 1991, and loved it then. I just re-read it, and while parts of it are dated*, her humor and insight still shine.[return][return]*pun intended.
Mary Ridderbusch
funny but a little dated for me (most of her articles were written when I was in diapers). Also, maybe reading it at the wrong time- too happy in my relationship and too comfortable with myself. Found it overly cynical.
Dec 11, 2007 James rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Anyone
Hilarious and thought-provoking... I love Heimel's observations and essays on contemporary culture, using her own experiences and her observations of her teenage son's learning about life as starting-out points.
Maureen Flatley
I've probably read this book twenty times. It's just hilarious. A funny, funny, funny book which applies regardless of your "relationship" status. Let's all read it again.
one of the funniest books around. my favorite essay was PMS & Outfits ... I practically peed myself. I highly recommend reading this book. It's a really quick, fun read.
Didn't really like her style of writing. Pretty much feminist ranting, and not the good kind. Was hoping she would live up to the humor of her title. Was disappointed.
You can keep your Candace Bushnell. Heimel is way funnier. And rather less fashion-obsessed.
Es entretenido, los ensayos son divertidos y puedes reír en numerosas ocaciones.
I can't remember why I read this piece of non-fiction chick lit, but it was really funny.
It's been a long time since I read this...5 stars for the title alone. :D
Kylie Briggs
Sorry, I don't think using the F-word a lot makes you funny.
Hilarious collection of essays! Very fun to read.
Deb Davis
I love her more than chocolate.
Entertaining quick read.
Kathleen Crowell
Freaking hysterical!
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