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89th out of 575 books
—
740 voters
The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage
by
Cathi Hanauer ,
Hope Edelman (Goodreads Author) , Kate Christensen , Karen Karbo (Goodreads Author) , Natalie Kusz , E.S. Maduro , Veronica Chambers , Jen Marshall
,
more…
WITH A NEW AFTERWORD BY EDITOR CATHI HANAUER
26 Women Tell It Like It Is
The culmination of lessons learned in the past three decades--the "me" years, the terapy years, and the "express yourself" years--The Bitch in the House welcomes readers into the lives, minds, and bedrooms of its contributors to talk about the choices they've made, what's working, and what's not.
Ranging...more
26 Women Tell It Like It Is
The culmination of lessons learned in the past three decades--the "me" years, the terapy years, and the "express yourself" years--The Bitch in the House welcomes readers into the lives, minds, and bedrooms of its contributors to talk about the choices they've made, what's working, and what's not.
Ranging...more
Paperback, 292 pages
Published
September 16th 2003
by Perennial
(first published 2002)
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Honestly, I found it hard to sympathize with the women who contributed essays to this book. Could I identify with them? Kind of... I am a college-educated, middle-class white woman who will no doubt struggle with issues of motherhood and career. I just wish the editors had reached out to women who weren't writers and/or who weren't all middle to upper class. I felt like I was reading the same stories over and over...which I understand is kind of the point: we professional women all have similar...more
Seriously!?! There are people out there that liked this book. I just wanted to scream at these women to get over themselves and do something about their lives. If you are that unhappy, do something about it!!! I couldn't relate at all. Sure maybe when I was 19 and stupid I experienced some of the bad boyfriend situations or felt lost, but I got over that.
Unless you want to be force-fed a bunch of poorly written stories about self-deprecating women, go ahead and read this. I'll go kiss my husban...more
Unless you want to be force-fed a bunch of poorly written stories about self-deprecating women, go ahead and read this. I'll go kiss my husban...more
The title is based on the Virginia Woolf essay about "the angel in the house" a tongue in cheek reference to the perfect woman who pretty much makes other people's lives go smoothly. The essays contain essays about being a woman, relationships, sex, having children...that are far more honest than most I've read. I'm really enjoying this. Hanauer's husband, also a writer, followed up with a companion book The Bastard on the Couch. The only problem is the titles...I brought this book to the pool.....more
This book provokes a range of responses from readers. Some reviewers call it the "whining of women who have it all," which makes me wonder whether they actually read the book. If having it all means that one has a career, friends, family, and (if one chooses) a partner, then I guess many of us "have it all." I was not aware that if one "has it all" one must not reflect on life and love. The mood of this book was honest, contemplative, and funny. Although the writers do not hold back from express...more
I have mixed feelings about this book. I think it explores quite well the often-repressed feelings of anger that many women have. However, I wish that there had been a bit more diversity in the voices presented. Although I don't know this for a fact, it certainly seems like the authors of the essays are all upper/middle-class, heterosexual, and white (I'm assuming the last race, but I don't think it's much of a stretch, given the complete lack of discussion of race or orientation). I was also qu...more
When you read a book of compiled essays, it's natural to connect with some more than others. The Bitch in the House is no exception, but worthy of a read and discussion? Absolutely.
Being only a female of my early twenties, I have yet to experience much of this book's content, such as marriage and childbirth. I will say, however, as a feminist of a younger generation, this book really did touch upon rapidly growing concerns of mine, such as gender and domestic roles. A few of the essays (most not...more
Being only a female of my early twenties, I have yet to experience much of this book's content, such as marriage and childbirth. I will say, however, as a feminist of a younger generation, this book really did touch upon rapidly growing concerns of mine, such as gender and domestic roles. A few of the essays (most not...more
A friend of my wife's gave her this book as a present a few years ago, so I, interested in anything that arrives in my house in the form of a book, picked it up and soon realized that it would make perfect bathroom reading. I finished it a few weeks later (not much fiber in my diet back then).
My reaction was relief that we didn't spend money on it. It's basically the same essay repeated 25 times. It goes something like this: I'm an upper-class white woman. I feel like complaining that my boyfri...more
My reaction was relief that we didn't spend money on it. It's basically the same essay repeated 25 times. It goes something like this: I'm an upper-class white woman. I feel like complaining that my boyfri...more
My generation of women is the first to be stuck on the middle of "traditional" feminine roles and the new roles advocated by the feminist movement. Identifying as a feminist myself, and finding myself less than fulfilled in several "traditional" aspects of my marriage and life as a stepmother, I found myself relating to so much of the essays in this book.
Basically, our mom's were the last generation that were able to be at home and raise us. We learned, through observing them, that our fathers...more
Basically, our mom's were the last generation that were able to be at home and raise us. We learned, through observing them, that our fathers...more
I just couldn't do it anymore. I got halfway through this book and had to quit -- and I never quit books. I felt like most of these women are rather narcissistic and self-absorbed, and because they had to deal with someone else taking up space in their lives, they felt resentful. My marriage is by no means perfect (we just celebrated nine years this past week, though I'm surprised we've made it this long), but I realize that the only person that can make me happy is me. I married my husband, I c...more
Ugh. Unlike. I'll try to sum up why:
1) Every collection of stories from moms on the issue of working / not working is over-powered by the opinions of women who WRITE for a living. A job they don't have to do from an office. Where are the teachers? the attorneys? the saleswomen? the corporate workers? I get it, those moms don't write thoughtful essays on the "should I work or stay home" issue, writers write those. But I am so annoyed that publishers think this is a representative sample of workin...more
1) Every collection of stories from moms on the issue of working / not working is over-powered by the opinions of women who WRITE for a living. A job they don't have to do from an office. Where are the teachers? the attorneys? the saleswomen? the corporate workers? I get it, those moms don't write thoughtful essays on the "should I work or stay home" issue, writers write those. But I am so annoyed that publishers think this is a representative sample of workin...more
I read this book last year, and it has stayed with me all this time. Each essay a different woman's perspective on the types things woman are expected to do. I can so relate to many of the voices - why, for example, am I the only one in the relationship with an internal clock that tells me it's time to change the sheets or mop the floor? Reading this made me think about my struggles with being a wife on mother on a societal level. Fascinating read.
I am not even half-way finished with this book but, so far, it is wonderful! It provides accounts from the lives of a diverse group of women - the single, the married, the divorced, the "willingly other woman" type, the maternal, the childless, the heterosexual, the bisexual, the young, the wise. Very insightful. I was able to identify with a few of the women, whether their feelings are those that I am feeling now or those that I felt in the past.
I wish I could give this book 2.5 stars, right in the middle. There were certainly some though-provoking essays in it, essays that I might give to other people to read if I'd come across them on their own. However, the book in its entirety is a little hard to handle.
First of all, even though it's 26 different women, they all start to blur together. Mostly because the majority of them seem to be writers/editors/teachers who live in New York, do lots of yoga, have a fair amount of money, and, odd...more
First of all, even though it's 26 different women, they all start to blur together. Mostly because the majority of them seem to be writers/editors/teachers who live in New York, do lots of yoga, have a fair amount of money, and, odd...more
This book was certainly a good idea, and even though I'm only a teenager, and thus don't have much firsthand experience with many of the topics it mentions, I still found it interesting. I chose it because I'm a closeted "mommy memoir" fan and because I want more experience with essays. My biggest criticism was that some of these writers seemed to be too much in their heads. I wanted to shout "Obviously this is not working for you, so make a new choice and get over it!" It seemed like it took an...more
Cathi Hanauer found herself angry all the time: about her job, her children, her husband. She had a great life, on paper, so she wondered where all this anger was coming from and how to deal with it. She wondered if other women felt this way. This book is the result.
Filled with essays from over 20 different women from different walks of life and the choices they made, “The Bitch in the House” is as absorbing, amusing and sobering as the subjects it addresses. The voices of the different women ri...more
Filled with essays from over 20 different women from different walks of life and the choices they made, “The Bitch in the House” is as absorbing, amusing and sobering as the subjects it addresses. The voices of the different women ri...more
Why is it that, when we come home at the end of a long day at work and our partner offers to cook dinner, we refuse and then stomp around the kitchen resentfully whipping up a fancy meal? Why do we get angrier and angrier as we wait for our partner to notice the pile of unwashed dishes instead of just asking him to help out? Where does this "irrational" behavior come from, and how do we deal with the problem of having it all--career, marriage, children--when having it all becomes too much?
A lot...more
A lot...more
Some essays are better than others, but all are revealing, touching, and resonating, this is a great book to come for any woman in her life. The essays don't offer solutions, but they offer peace in understanding where her emotions, passions, frustrations might be coming from.
If you read only a few, choose:
If you have a boyfriend or husband... "Excuse Me While I Explode" by ES Maduro
If your work personality is totally different from your home personality.. "Attila the Honey I'm Home" by Kristi...more
If you read only a few, choose:
If you have a boyfriend or husband... "Excuse Me While I Explode" by ES Maduro
If your work personality is totally different from your home personality.. "Attila the Honey I'm Home" by Kristi...more
Ok so I read this book several years ago when I was in my mid-twenties before I had ever gotten married. I remember really liking it so I suggested reading it to my book club and read it once again. I did not enjoy it as much as I did the first time around and I am not sure if it is because I am in a different place in my life now or if I just really am bitter at some of these women who seem so self involved, for the most part, that it was really hard for me to completely connect with any of the...more
Contrary to other reviewers, I like when collections of essays/stories have common threads and laser-focused themes. In this case, this group of writer ladies (mainly White, middle-aged, married with children, and middle-class) all lament the conflicts between their notions of feminism and their TRUE LIVES - also how they fight becoming "the bitch in the house," but alwaysssss lose. This book made me feel a little...worried more than annoyed "that they complain about nothing." It isn't nothing i...more
The good: More women need to read more things like this. It's good to find that there are essays exploring the issues that keep us up at night, and it's good to know we're not the (only) crazy ones.
The bad: More women need to seek out actual therapy and counseling, or take other empowering steps, to change their lives for the better. Reading an essay about how life is hard doesn't make life any easier! Stop bitching and start treating yourself like to deserve to live well.
The ugly: I got this o...more
The bad: More women need to seek out actual therapy and counseling, or take other empowering steps, to change their lives for the better. Reading an essay about how life is hard doesn't make life any easier! Stop bitching and start treating yourself like to deserve to live well.
The ugly: I got this o...more
I will hesitantly say I liked this book. I often feel that the balance of home labor is vastly unequal, even with theoretically feminist partners. So while the editor picked some good, well-written essays to put those frustrations into words, there was a little too much reference to The Writing Life for my taste. I mean, who can relate to someone who discovers that her answer to division of labor so that each parent could spend enough time writing was to hire a live-in nanny and take yoga with h...more
My biggest problem with this collection was that it seemed to me that I was reading the same story over and over again. I'd say about 90% of the contributors are upper-middle class, middle aged white women who are writers, live in New York City and do yoga. It also seemed to me that none of them really offered any advice or in some cases, a coherent story line. I got the feeling that a lot of them contributed just to get something off of their chests, no necessarily to offer help to any other wo...more
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i know a lot of people have had a lot to say about this book, and i'm not really interested in weighing in on the controversies, be they about work vs staying home or marriage vs staying single or anything else. at another point in my life, this book would've threatened me a lot; the generally pessimistic view of marriage that many of the authors take would probably have led me to put it down (i think that's exactly what did happen, actually, when i tried to read it the first time). but i'm at a...more
The unfortunate downside of the feminist movement is that there isn't enough time in a day to "have it all," which really, really frustrates and in some cases enrages the essayists in this book. However, the overarching theme seems to be a positive one. Sometimes, through the process of writing about it, these women seem to have come to terms with the prioritizing and compromise involved with being a wife, mother, and an employee (or choosing not to do any of those things). It's also comforting...more
This book was more entertaining than I thought. Although I could not fully relate to many of the frustrations of the women, I appreciated their candor. The generational perspectives added great depth to the topic too. Their profound realizations that their choices either enhanced or broke preconceived notions of the role of a strong and independent woman should not be taken for granted.
My experience on this topic is that life is about choices. I had no Cinderella complex about womanhood in mode...more
My experience on this topic is that life is about choices. I had no Cinderella complex about womanhood in mode...more
I thought it fell short of the mark. I do believe there is much to be said on the subject... I just didn't find most of the tales to be that engrossing.
Or perhaps there is just not much to be said after:
Women are expected to do it all these days. We still cook, clean, shop, have families, but we get the added bonus of having to have a full time job (just cause we are not busy enough).
If you are lucky enough to choose to work, this does not change the fact that most men expect that you will als...more
Or perhaps there is just not much to be said after:
Women are expected to do it all these days. We still cook, clean, shop, have families, but we get the added bonus of having to have a full time job (just cause we are not busy enough).
If you are lucky enough to choose to work, this does not change the fact that most men expect that you will als...more
Personally, I really liked the essays in this book. Yes, some of them were not to my taste, but for the most part, I felt like I identified with some part of all of them. Then again, I'm in that space right now, trying to figure out what it means to me to be a wife, and what it will mean to me to be a mother. It's probably not something most men would find interesting, it's definitely gender specific. It helped me feel less... alone... reading other women working through some of the same issues...more
This is an engrossing collection of 26 accomplished women's meditations on the conundrum that is life as a professional woman/mother/wife in contemporary America. I loved that each story was its own window into an entirely personal and unique struggle that at the same time is inherently universal. Though several of the authors fall into the same work/family category, the fact that each offered a fresh take on the central issues of equality and personal fulfillment speaks to the plurality of wome...more
As I read the book I was very irritated by all of the complaining and negativity of each of the stories. I could relate to several of the stories. It was not up lifting and did not really offer any wisdom to help me be less of a "B" in my own house. It brought me down. HOWEVER, the book ignited the most engaging discussion that our book club had ever had in the five years up to that point. Each of the 9 of us related to different stories and it was very interested how we each took something diff...more
For anyone who enjoys fabulous female authors, short essays, and the truth about what it is like to be a woman...
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