Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety

by Judith Warner
Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety  
published 2006 by Riverhead Trade
binding Paperback
isbn 1594481709   (isbn13: 9781594481703)
pages 352
description The old adage is especially true for Perfect Madness: don't judge this eminently readable book by its stern and academic-looking cover. Judith ...more
date added
03-14-07



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other reviews (showing 1-20 of 280)



Chris
Chris rated it: 4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars
06/22/08

recommends it for: moms who are sick of stress
There was a time when working moms were vogue and stay-at home moms (today known as SAHMs) were regarded as pathetic and unfulfilled. These days, the pendulum seems to have swung back, at least in my experience as Bad Working Mommy. At a birthday party for my nephew not long ago, I was asked by a homeschool mom, "So, do you homeschool your children?" When I said no, that I taught in a Christian school where my children also attend, I got what I have come to recognze as The Look: smu...more
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Elizabeth
Elizabeth rated it: 4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars
05/17/07

Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in April, 2007
recommends it for: Everyone
I was initially skeptical, as the author began by talking about her experiences with her young child in France, but it turned out to be a really interesting book. It deals with the larger social reasons why so many middle-class mothers are so hypervigilant about the tiniest details of their children's lives. It gives mothers who work outside the home equal weight to mothers who stay home, which is nice, and examines whether or not we really have a choice when it comes to staying home or not, reg...more
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Molly
Molly rated it: 4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars
04/06/08

Although I find this book a bit depressing, it really resonates with me. In a grossly simplified nutshell, Judith Warner describes how we, generation X women, are living out hollow societal promises from our childhood. Feminism of the 70s and the "you can have it all" mantra taught to us in the 80s have failed to pan out. We are not equal members of society, and we can not have it all. As mothers we have limited choices and a lack of support and we must make sacrifices (professional an...more
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Rose
Rose added it
05/26/08

bookshelves: 2008
Read in May, 2008
recommends it for: Stressed out, perfectionist mothers
This book was interesting, and although its primary concern was motherhood, much of what it had to say was just as relevant to other roles in society. My enjoyment was, however, greatly hampered by the author's horribly choppy writing style of writing. With every sentence. Split up into. Little pieces.
(For example: "And so women don't. Think about it. Or fight. Or even feel."). In addition, there was only a token concession to the idea that men might not be that happy either; for mo...more
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Alicia
Alicia rated it: 5 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars
02/24/08

bookshelves: child-development
Read in January, 2007
There were times when I loved this book and times when I hated this book. It was an amazing look at motherhood today. The one thing that I will take away from this book the most is that it has helped me look at different mothering decisions with a more open mind. There was a page in the book where it talked about a particular tribal society where women had to keep working even after the birth of a baby, or she risked starving. It made me think about genetic diversity and how it is important ...more
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Annette
Annette rated it: 3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars
03/07/08

Read in March, 2008
recommends it for: Anxious Moms who think they have to be perfect or their babies will be retarded.
I'm conflicted about this book. There are very powerful insights to the super-mommy phenom that is hitting mothers thru the country. Gotta do Gymboree on Monday, piano lessons on Tuesday, soccer and social skills class on Wed etc...turns out we are going to have a generation of completely dependent children. They aren't going to be able to figure things out on their own. I also liked the idea of trying to balance the pre and post birth identities. Did us educated women REALLY spend 19 years...more
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Sarah
Sarah rated it: 2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars
02/15/08

Read in October, 2006
Very interesting read because it surveyed mothers living in Washington D.C., where we lived at the time. They lacked a proper support system to be stay-at-home moms, or working mothers. They held much resentment toward husbands/fathers claiming they did nothing to help in the family, purposely worked long hours to avoid home life etc. Basically, Judith Warner was looking to the government to solve the crisis of anxiety in motherhood, citing in several other countries there are ample support p...more
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Melody
Melody rated it: 3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars
04/13/08

Read in November, 2007
recommended to Melody by: Antonia (Gift)
Parts of this book are interesting, like the feminist and social history sections. Unfortunately the author really annoyed me with her over the top generalizations of different types of parenting approaches. She uses what I would characterize as "extreme" examples to make a point, when in reality the issues she talks about are much more complex and nuanced. I had to force myself to get 3/4 of the way through the book. Just couldn't finish it. Maybe her book describes a certain niche of...more
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Camille
Camille rated it: 2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars
10/29/07

bookshelves: read-2007
Read in October, 2007
I started reading this book about a year ago, and parts of it really spoke to me then. I've chilled out a lot as a parent in the last year, so when I finally finished it up it didn't really seem all that relevant anymore. Although I agree with a lot of what she's advocating, I still didn't like the book that much because of the way she presents her ideas. It's just conjecture put forward as... well... something more substatial. There's no good science to back up any of her claims, just thoug...more
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Katie
Katie rated it: 4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars
01/28/08

bookshelves: non-fiction
recommends it for: Parents. All women.
Moms, don't miss this. My caveat: I don't know enough about how one writes a non-fiction book to know whether she has ample sources or citations for her opinions, but I do know that her anecdotes and observations ring very true for me and what I see. We are really getting mixed up about motherhood and what it takes to be a good mother/good woman. It's shocking to see where these messages are coming from and how they got to be in our brains. It's seriously time for women to start talking to ...more
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Tara
Tara rated it: 4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars
04/18/08

Read in January, 2007
The author dislikes attachment parenting, which I practice, because she believes it adds to the anxiety mothers experience; but aside from that I agree with almost everything she has to say about the experience of motherhood; that our choices grow organically from our circumstances; that mothers are responsible for too much and yet have too little authority (sounds like LLL there!); that class and economics put way too much unrealistic pressure on child-rearing; that Americans seem to want the w...more
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D'Anne
07/20/07

bookshelves: non-fiction
Read in July, 2007
I admit, I didn't finish this book. I read the first chapter and flipped through the rest. It's not that it is a bad book - it isn't. In fact, I totally agree with the book's premise that American society expects mothers to do way too much with way too little (time, energy, money, support) and as a results mothers are totally stressed out and often not as happy as they could be. Oh, and that it's better in places like France. But I guess that's why I lost interest in this book so quickly. I want...more
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Jill
Jill rated it: 4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars
04/06/08

I enjoyed the discussion of motherhood and the needs of modern day mothers in the beginning and end of this book as well as the comparison of the child-care systems in different countries. It was thoughtful, pertinent and a call to action. The books speaks to the fears of parents who want the best for the kids and how difficult it is to achieve balance for our lives and that of our children in what can be a crazy, mean and competitive world. There is also a history of the feminist movement an...more
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Joanna
Joanna rated it: 4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars
06/13/07

recommends it for: anyone who is a parent or is thinking of becoming one
I checked this book out after hearing about it on NPR a while back. I wanted to read it to marvel at tales of overinvolved, near-psychotic mothers and, I'll admit it, to pat myself on the back for being sure I wouldn't be *that* kind of mother.

What I found instead was a compelling, compassionate portrait of middle-class women driven to parent obsessively by a society that has systematically removed all supports, a nastily winner-take-all culture, and by the American cult of rugged indepe...more
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Katie
Katie rated it: 4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars
10/19/07

bookshelves: non-fiction
Despite the criticisms about how she ignored minority and financially struggling mothers, I think this book is compelling and it outlines a challenging indictment of America in a post-first wave feminist world. She asks some tough questions about how successful feminism has been as it pertains to motherhood and women's rights. As a feminist and a mother, I learned so much from this book, especially the way that pop culture interacts (and in a horrifying way, dictates) with American motherhood....more
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Catherine
Catherine rated it: 2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars
04/24/08

This appears to be a fairly accurate description of people in Washington, D.C., but much of the rest of the country may find it hard to identify with such high levels of anxiety.
Of course, I chose to give up a good job rather then transfer to the D.C. area because of the stress involved in striving for a good quality of life there for my family of four. I did live there for a while, and I found people around D.C. to be highly exacting in their requirements of each other in an unhealthy way.
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Rudy
Rudy rated it: 2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars
10/03/07

Read in August, 2005
another motherhood book --this one is a personal account of a woman who has trouble with the current issue of focusing so much attention on your kids and trying to be the "perfect" mother. It is interesting as an account of a wealthy white East Coast woman who is coming to terms with being a mom and how that fits into her image of herself. It's a very slim slice of the pie, but interesting. She used to live in France, so she has some perspective about child rearing/child care in Europe
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Neuromanced
Neuromanced rated it: 4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars
01/29/08

Read in February, 2008
recommends it for: mothers, people considering parenthood, sociologists, feminists, etc.
In brief, I can't imagine any parent or person interested in parenting could agree with everything in this book, but I found it very interesting from a sociological perspective. There's a lot to think about here, but few ideas for solutions are offered. It's certainly not the only book one should read on experiences of motherhood in the United States, as the author is not attempting to be all-encompassing or unbiased, but I did feel there is something to it that makes it worth reading.
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Jennifer
Jennifer rated it: 2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars
01/27/08

bookshelves: book-club-picks, non-fiction
Read in January, 2006
recommends it for: Anyone with kids or planning to have kids
An interesting book for discussion although the women the author interviewed were older than me and a lot of the societal influences she mentions didn't resonate with me. I thought that she didn't really explore the anxiety issue enough. Most of the problems facing the women in the book seemed to be more "keeping up with the Jones'" rather than the real, overwhelming anxiety that something catastrophic is going to happen to your kids the second they are out of your sight.
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Maureen
Maureen rated it: 3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars
06/18/08

Read in June, 2008
Just when I started congratulating myself on being a fairly relaxed parent compared to some of the mothers interviewed for this book, the author began a discussion of how the American economy and educational system make it extremely difficult for middle-class parents to afford quality daycare and schooling for their children. Cue sweaty palms and racing pulse. On the whole, an honest, mostly unpatronizing glimpse into contemporary middle-class motherhood.
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book data (includes all editions)

avg rating (all editions): 3.59 (170 ratings)
avg rating (this edition): 3.64 (159 ratings)
number of reviews: 54






other editions

Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety (Hardcover)
Mães que Trabalham: a Loucura Perfeita (Paperback)
Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety (Paperback)