Too Fat to Fish

by Artie Lange

book data

605 ratings, 3.51 average rating, 188 reviews (more data...)

rating	frequency	%
5		15%
4		37%
3		34%
2		11%
1		2%

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published

November 11th 2008 by Spiegel & Grau

binding

Hardcover, 320 pages

isbn

0385526563 (isbn13: 9780385526562)

description

Outrageous, raw, and painfully funny true stories straight from the life of the actor, comedian, and much-loved cast member of The Howard Stern Show�

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Outrageous, raw, and painfully funny true stories straight from the life of the actor, comedian, and much-loved cast member of The Howard Stern Show—with a foreword by Howard Stern.

When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show’s move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting.

A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for—sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction: He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was eighteen and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.

True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn’t have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie’s never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.

Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, TOO FAT TO FISH is Artie Lange giving everything he’s got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.

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11/19/08

Todd rated it:

bookshelves: kindle

Read in November, 2008

As a genius, I require highly intellectual stimulus to keep from getting bored. Fortunately The Howard Stern Show provides such stimulus and helps me think my genius thoughts. In this small way alone Howard Stern helps make the world a better place.

I was browsing on my Kindle a few nights ago and downloaded Too Fat To Fish on an impulse. It was between that and Shakespeare's comedies. I've read Shakespeare so many times that I decided to download the Lange.

I'm not sure wh...more

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03/26/09

Jen rated it:

Read in March, 2009

This was the worst autobiography I've ever read in my life. Artie Lange has lived a boring life, no different from any other loser alcoholic/addict. I was bored out of my mind the entire time and it took me 2 weeks to finish this because I kept putting it down. The only reason I stuck with it was because I kept thinking that it would have to get better!

The parts of the book where he describes vomiting and crapping all over himself are totally disgusting and absolutely unnecessary.
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01/18/09

Jamie rated it:

(review of isbn 0739381962)

bookshelves: adult, just-for-fun, memoir

Read in January, 2009

I probably wouldn't have read this but after hearing the travails of making the audiobook on the Stern show, I couldn't help but listen. Artie is a GREAT storyteller, but it definitely took him time to settle into reading. Good God! I think, what's this gonna sound like when Rev. Bob Levy takes over? Gary reads 2nd and it took me a while to remember that this was Artie's story and not Gary's because you get so used to the voices of the Stern show people. Rev. Bob was hilarious because he didn't ...more

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02/24/09

Evan rated it:

bookshelves: 2009-reads, booze, celebrity-famous-bio, currently-reading-slowly, howard-stern

Read in June, 2009

Just resumed listening to this after a hiatus...
FINAL:
Artie is a classic conflicted addictive personality. Making and breaking promises, burning bridges, spending all his money recklessly, going into debt, disappointing everyone who loves him, nearly dying from OD's several times, going cold turkey then falling off the wagon, blowing career opportunities; laughing at himself and feeling sorry for himself and saying "fuck you" to everyone then realizing he was wrong. Overdri...more

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4 comments

11/11/08

Michelle rated it:

Read in March, 2009

recommends it for: no one really.

I heard Terry Gross interview Artie on Fresh Air, and he came across as such a sweet, self-aware, if screwed-up guy. I think that if I had "read" Too Fat to Fish as an audio book that same likable personality may have come across. But as I read it in print form, perhaps that is why I ended up being mostly frustrated and annoyed with his behavior. This was only worsened by the fact that right before I finished the book, I did a little online research to see what Artie is up to at the mo...more

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01/15/09

Karen rated it:

Read in January, 2009

So this book was recommended to me by one of my managers, a guy who really doesn't read and pretty much the last person I would ever expect to get a book recommendation from. I don't listen to Howard Stern and didn't know who Artie Lange was before starting this book. I went for it based on the recommendation.

I am glad I did. This memoir had a bit of everything. In many parts it had me laughing, loved the "Too Fat to Fish story." I cried ( a rarity for me) when he was talki...more

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11/28/08

Sean rated it:

I knew a lot of these stories from listening to the "Howard Stern Show". However Artie gives more details that were previously unknown to anyone but himself. It made for an interesting read overall. I felt the book was very sweet at times and made me wish Artie would just get his shit together already. If you're a fan of Artie or the Howard Stern Show its worth the read.

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02/05/09

Sarah rated it:

Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in February, 2008

I liked this book! I really didn't know too much about Artie before I read the book so I didn't bore me at all. This book made me never ever want to do any type of drugs, not that I ever wanted to before, but this shit made it offical, just reading the chapter pig in shit was enough. He really is a great story teller and it was pretty funny, more then once I laughed out loud. Hopefully he comes out with another book and maybe actually cleans up! But I guess that wouldn't be too much fun to read ...more

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01/07/09

Eric rated it:

Read in December, 2008

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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12/22/08

Eric rated it:

Read in December, 2008

Christ, what a fuck-up this guy is. Anybody who has listened to the Stern show probably already heard everything in this book. Anybody who doesn't listen to the Stern show probably isn't at all interested. It feels like co-writer Anthony Bozza was given the task to transcribe these stories from Artie telling them live on Stern. Artie's life can be summed up pretty simply. Here's the book in a nutshell:

"I had <good thing> going on, was doing better in life than I ever...more

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04/01/09

Rikki is currently reading it

bookshelves: currently-reading

Read in March, 2009

Easy and entertaining read. The book is written mainly how Artie talks, which I find very refreshing. It reads as the much softer New York accent of North Jersey-ites living near larger cities, like Newark. These Jersey-ites often leave out conjugated verbs.
In contrast, the North Jersey SUBURBS have a much better education system and these Jersey-ites hardly have any accent at all. Unless, they leave the Tri-State area. Then all bets are off. YOU ARE FROM JERSEY or NEW YORK!
I come f...more

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12/24/08

Joy is currently reading it

bookshelves: currently-reading

Read in December, 2008

The stories are crazy. I wouldn't want to be friends with Artie, but I think he's kind of a genius. He is a story-teller and the way he sees the world and himself in the world makes for him stumbling in to the main gist of some screwed up stories.
When in a diner parking lot in his dad's handicapped van, he ordered a deluxe from his new Brazilian friend because that's what he would have called a parallel order if he were in the diner.
Brilliant and then all the sorrow for humanity sets i...more

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01/02/09

Betty rated it:

bookshelves: autobiography-biography, humor, non-fiction

Read in January, 2009

recommends it for: stand-up comic memoirs

I was a little unsure when I received this book to review, but I was actually pleasantly surprised. Artie Lange, stand-up comic, actor, and a part of the Howard Stern show, did not sound like a book I would be able to get through. Yes, it was raw. Yes, it was crude, but certainly not to the extent I anticipated. In fact, this is a very personal, honest story of a man with many problems to overcome. Swinging back and forth between depression and paranoia, he is a perfect candidate for addiction o...more

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04/25/09

Jennifer rated it:

bookshelves: memoir, non-fiction

Read in April, 2009

Book Overview
This is the autobiography of Artie Lange -- perhaps best known as a member of The Howard Stern Show, which he joined in 2001. He was also on MADtv during the first season and has had roles in movies such as Dirty Work and Beer League. He is also a stand-up comedian who performs all over the country.

Born into a working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, Mr. Lange was a "typical" American kid -- obsessed with sports, girls ... and comedy. At age 18,...more Book Overview
This is the autobiography of Artie Lange -- perhaps best known as a member of The Howard Stern Show, which he joined in 2001. He was also on MADtv during the first season and has had roles in movies such as Dirty Work and Beer League. He is also a stand-up comedian who performs all over the country.

Born into a working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, Mr. Lange was a "typical" American kid -- obsessed with sports, girls ... and comedy. At age 18, his beloved father suffers a fall and becomes a quadriplegic. This family tragedy pushes Lange over the edge, and he begins to dull his pain with alcohol and eventually drugs. Although his addiction develops and blossoms over the years, he pulls himself together enough to escape the confines of a the working class life he was "meant for" and throws himself into pursuing a comedy career.

Despite his own best efforts to sabotage himself, he finds success and lands a role as a cast member on MADtv. But the money and the pressure start to take its toll, and Lange turns to cocaine to help him deal. He eventually spirals out of control and is let go from the cast and forced into rehab. He eventually puts himself together, scores a film role and then ... falls into drugs again -- this time heroin. He somehow lands a spot on The Stern Show -- which has a rabid fan following (my husband included). This leads to another movie and, over time, more struggles with drugs. Although he recently did a USO tour in Afghanistan (which he discusses in the book), my husband tells me he continues to struggle with his heroin addiction but somehow still manages to do the radio show each day.

My Thoughts
You may be wondering why I read this book. Primarily, I read it because my husband is a huge Howard Stern and Artie Lange fan and preordered this book -- something I have never seen him do before. (He is pretty much a non-reader -- although I am trying very hard to change that.) In an effort to show interest in what my husband was excited about reading and to see what was so darn funny about Mr. Lange, I decided I would read this book to find out a little more about this guy.

I will admit, the first parts of the book -- although lewd and crude -- were not too bad. There is a section on how Mr. Lange lost his virginity (to a prostitute's sister) that was actually quite amusing -- if not a bit raunchy. And the way he writes about his father and their shared love of the Yankees was quite touching and gave me a bit of an insight into the male mind. And there are some stories about his parents and their love of Frankie Valli that were relatively enjoyable. But once the book shifted to his comedy career and subsequent drug addiction, I got less and less interested the more I read.

Frankly, I don't think the book is that well-written, and Mr. Lange didn't strike me as the amazingly funny storyteller he supposedly is. But, then again, I don't think I am his target audience either. I found the sections on his drug problems to be very repetitive and unappetizing (as they rightfully should be). However, rather than draw me into his struggles, I just started to get a little bored and began checking to see how many pages were left. And, because there is no "moment of truth" where Mr. Lange is able to kick his drug problem, I wasn't left with an uplifted feeling either. In fact, when he mentions that he plans to write another book, my immediate thought was "Well, I hope you live long enough to complete it."

My Final Recommendation
I think this book is primarily for fans of Artie Lange and Stern Show fans. It might also be of minimal interest to readers who want to understand the mind of an addictive personality. However, I'm thinking there are better books on this topic, and I would hesitate to recommend it based on that. Bottom line: If you're a Lange or Stern fan, you'll probably like this book. Everyone else: take a pass.
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04/05/09

Wes rated it:

(review of isbn 0739381962)

Read in April, 2009

A collection of anecdotes from Artie's life more than an actual, linear "biography", most of the stories have already been told on the Howard Stern Show. But there is also a lot that has been left untold until this point. Part of Lange's appeal is his wild, too-crazy-to-be-true stories and the animated way in which he tells them. Sadly, the stories have their roots in a deep-seated cocaine and heroin addiction, leaving the reader/listener say "oh, no, Artie...". The audio bo...more

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11/18/08

Lee Anne rated it:

Read in November, 2008

Artie, as any Stern fan knows, is a great storyteller, and this book is no exception. Artie, as any Stern fan also knows, has the lowest self-esteem, worst impulse control, highest self-sabotage and loathing of just about anyone you've ever heard of. So this book is funny, yes, and full of stories you've heard before, fleshed out in un-Howard-interrupted detail, but it's also really sad. But maybe it's like Robin said on 11/20/08's show--Artie likes it when people say, "Poor Artie" ...more

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12/31/08

New York Nick rated it:

Read in October, 2008

If you know Artie then you'll love this book. Artie is a fantastic story teller. His method of building excitement and anticipation combined with perfect comedic punchlines are the hallmark of a professional who is a master of his craft. This book is brutally honest about his drug, drink and gambling addictions as well as how he dealt with (or didn't) his father's crippling injury and subsequent death.

Overall, the book had me rolling with laughter at some points and deeply saddened ...more

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05/29/09

Kristin rated it:

Read in June, 2009

Since I am not a "fan" of Artie Lange's, I was hesitant to read this book. I noticed a friend read it and liked it, so I thought what the heck!

This book made me think that everyone should write their own book. Honestly, you never know what people have done in their lives, and this book surprised me with it's honesty. A perfect example of the saying, "until you walk a mile in their shoes." I could relate to much of what Artie has gone through in his life, though my...more

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06/20/09

Maya rated it:

This qualifies as an intense skimming which I enjoyed very much (also Shayla this was another one that I put on hold and was like the 100th person but somehow got bumped up.)

I like Artie's brutal honesty a lot. I don't think I'll ever feel like he was a good Jackie replacement. It's pretty clear to me from a psychological perspective Howard got someone he could run over and control completely.

OK that's a complete aside and has nothing to do with the book. It's really...more

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01/13/09

Benjamin rated it:

Read in January, 2009

This is not your typical celebrity puff piece put together by some ghost-writer. Lange presents himself to the world laid bare for the world to see. Anyone who is a fan of the Stern show will know many of the stories already. That doesn't diminish their impact on the printed page. Those who don't listen will appreciate Lange's honesty and frankness when detailing his various problems with drugs and addiction. Knowing that Lange is currently struggling with a heroin problem and may not live ...more

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