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Too Fat to Fish

3.68  ·  Rating Details  ·  4,389 Ratings  ·  417 Reviews
Outrageous, raw, and painfully funny true stories straight from the life of the actor, comedian, and much-loved cast member of The Howard Stern Show—with a foreword by Howard Stern.

When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show’s move to the wild,
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Hardcover, 320 pages
Published November 11th 2008 by Spiegel & Grau (first published January 1st 2008)
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Jason Koivu
I knew the guy had substance abuse issues, but sheeesh! That's like saying Kim Kardashian had a little plastic surgery!

Too Fat to Fish is a no-holds-barred, tell-all that goes into great detail regarding the very depths comedian Artie Lange has sunk to. And apparently he's not finished. During the reading of this audiobook* Lange had to quit and have friends help him finish reading the book, because he was going through severe withdrawal symptoms after trying to quit heroine yet again. It is the
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Karen Germain
Jan 15, 2009 Karen Germain rated it really liked it
So this book was recommended to me by one of my managers, a guy who really doesn't read and pretty much the last person I would ever expect to get a book recommendation from. I don't listen to Howard Stern and didn't know who Artie Lange was before starting this book. I went for it based on the recommendation.

I am glad I did. This memoir had a bit of everything. In many parts it had me laughing, loved the "Too Fat to Fish story." I cried ( a rarity for me) when he was talking about his father. I
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Todd Nemet
Nov 19, 2008 Todd Nemet rated it liked it
Shelves: kindle
As a genius, I require highly intellectual stimulus to keep from getting bored. Fortunately The Howard Stern Show provides such stimulus and helps me think my genius thoughts. In this small way alone Howard Stern helps make the world a better place.

I was browsing on my Kindle a few nights ago and downloaded Too Fat To Fish on an impulse. It was between that and Shakespeare's comedies. I've read Shakespeare so many times that I decided to download the Lange.

I'm not sure what the opposite of "Know
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Jamie
I probably wouldn't have read this but after hearing the travails of making the audiobook on the Stern show, I couldn't help but listen. Artie is a GREAT storyteller, but it definitely took him time to settle into reading. Good God! I think, what's this gonna sound like when Rev. Bob Levy takes over? Gary reads 2nd and it took me a while to remember that this was Artie's story and not Gary's because you get so used to the voices of the Stern show people. Rev. Bob was hilarious because he didn't ...more
Jen
Mar 26, 2009 Jen rated it did not like it
This was the worst autobiography I've ever read in my life. Artie Lange has lived a boring life, no different from any other loser alcoholic/addict. I was bored out of my mind the entire time and it took me 2 weeks to finish this because I kept putting it down. The only reason I stuck with it was because I kept thinking that it would have to get better!

The parts of the book where he describes vomiting and crapping all over himself are totally disgusting and absolutely unnecessary.

Save yourself s
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Jim
Nov 19, 2015 Jim rated it liked it
Shelves: 2015
Reading Artie Lange's life story is like taking a long taxi ride with a guy from Jersey. Every thing that comes out of his mouth walks the line between being funny and offensive. But at the end of the ride you can't help but like the guy. 3.5 stars: four for the stories and three for the structure.
Sean
Nov 28, 2008 Sean rated it really liked it
I knew a lot of these stories from listening to the "Howard Stern Show". However Artie gives more details that were previously unknown to anyone but himself. It made for an interesting read overall. I felt the book was very sweet at times and made me wish Artie would just get his shit together already. If you're a fan of Artie or the Howard Stern Show its worth the read.
Kurt Halfpenny
May 19, 2014 Kurt Halfpenny rated it liked it
I've always loved Artie, from the moment I saw him on MadTV and Dirty Work and then throughout the years on Howard Stern. So I was fully aware of his "Problems" before reading this book. It's an easy read, filled with some great stories. For the people who think he stories and drug problems are "out of control" I challenge you to read David Carr or Nic Sheff's memoirs. From what I read, Artie is most definitely an addict with a number of substance abuse problems form Coke, any Opiate, Booze and, ...more
Melanie
Jul 29, 2015 Melanie rated it really liked it
Shelves: humorous-memoirs
This book has made me wonder about specialties in the field of ghost writing.
Betty
Jan 19, 2009 Betty rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: stand-up comic memoirs
I was a little unsure when I received this book to review, but I was actually pleasantly surprised. Artie Lange, stand-up comic, actor, and a part of the Howard Stern show, did not sound like a book I would be able to get through. Yes, it was raw. Yes, it was crude, but certainly not to the extent I anticipated. In fact, this is a very personal, honest story of a man with many problems to overcome. Swinging back and forth between depression and paranoia, he is a perfect candidate for addiction o ...more
Michelle
Apr 01, 2009 Michelle rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: no one really.
I heard Terry Gross interview Artie on Fresh Air, and he came across as such a sweet, self-aware, if screwed-up guy. I think that if I had "read" Too Fat to Fish as an audio book that same likable personality may have come across. But as I read it in print form, perhaps that is why I ended up being mostly frustrated and annoyed with his behavior. This was only worsened by the fact that right before I finished the book, I did a little online research to see what Artie is up to at the moment, and ...more
Eirik Hafskjold
May 22, 2016 Eirik Hafskjold rated it it was amazing
As a long time fan and rabid listener of The Howard Stern Show, a book about Artie seemed like a good idea. I always knew he was a crazy gambling drunk addict off (and on actually) the air, and I wanted the details. I got them. It was fun to connect the dots between memorable bits from the show and what happened privately for Artie at the same time. There is comedy in here for sure, but I guess its mostly Artie's dark downward spiral into heroin and depression. Good book about a good guy with mo ...more
N.K.
Jan 25, 2015 N.K. rated it really liked it
I wasn't too sure if I would enjoy this book or not but picked it up on a whim. Some times autobiographies written by comedians can be really good, others are just self-indulgent nonsense. This was actually better than expected. Artie Lange is raw and open in this book; telling tales of horrid excesses and the costs associated with the same. There are parts that are laugh out loud funny and other parts that are cringe worthy. I will read his second book at some point. I do not feel the need to r ...more
Klega50
Jan 30, 2016 Klega50 rated it it was ok
It was okay. I just don't get how a person can see how destructive his or her behavior is and wants to stop it but then turns around and does it anyway. That's not addiction, that's saying I don't really care who I'm hurting, I want to get high. Then Lange writes how he's so proud to have gotten things done that he had promised and people were counting on him to do. When he should be ashamed he discounted the responsibility he had. Just because he's been lucky enough to have people in the busine ...more
Amelia
If you are considering picking this book up and are expecting it to be funny, think again! This book is absolutely not funny. In fact, it is a steaming pile of misery and despair seasoned throughout with self deprecation.

The beginning is actually quite sweet; a picture of his idyllic suburban Newark childhood with a devoted and loving father who was his best pal. From about the age of 18 onward it was one huge roller coaster ride of living hell. Do I feel sorry for Artie Lange? No, not really. H
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Christopher St
I remember Artie from when I used to listen to Stern in the 2002-2004 timeframe. I thought he was funny, and I wanted to listen to something light and funny on my commute. This is not standup comedy, nor is it a funny story. It is a horrifying memoir of a drug addled celebrity, with a few humorous moments, namely the "Too Fat to Fish" story, which is actually hilarious.

This book was funny sometimes, but mostly in the tragic and self-deprecating way. This book is truly grotesque, crude, depressin
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Nick
Sep 27, 2014 Nick rated it did not like it
Bear in mind when reading this book that Lange was still on drugs when writing it; it book ends with Lange stating - well, not just stating, trumpeting - that he's clean, but in fact not only was he still addicted to drugs, but after the book came out he tried to kill himself and basically retired from show business to enter seemingly indefinite rehab. About half the book is Lange talking about how guardian angels aren't just in heaven, they're also the family and friends who look out for you, a ...more
Sarah
Feb 09, 2009 Sarah rated it liked it
I liked this book! I really didn't know too much about Artie before I read the book so I didn't bore me at all. This book made me never ever want to do any type of drugs, not that I ever wanted to before, but this shit made it offical, just reading the chapter pig in shit was enough. He really is a great story teller and it was pretty funny, more then once I laughed out loud. Hopefully he comes out with another book and maybe actually cleans up! But I guess that wouldn't be too much fun to read ...more
Bill F.
I have loved Artie Lange since before most Americans had ever heard of him. Back in 1995, MadTV was launched on FOX as a funny alternative to Saturday Night Live - which in the post-Phil Hartman years had actually become a drama. There was one member of the ensemble cast that caught my attention immediately: Lange. His impressions were funny, not because they were accurate but because - much like Chevy Chase's famous impersonations of Gerald Ford during the early SNL days - bore absolutely zero ...more
Joy
Dec 24, 2008 Joy is currently reading it
The stories are crazy. I wouldn't want to be friends with Artie, but I think he's kind of a genius. He is a story-teller and the way he sees the world and himself in the world makes for him stumbling in to the main gist of some screwed up stories.
When in a diner parking lot in his dad's handicapped van, he ordered a deluxe from his new Brazilian friend because that's what he would have called a parallel order if he were in the diner.
Brilliant and then all the sorrow for humanity sets in.

Melissa
Jan 28, 2015 Melissa rated it it was ok
I thought this book was okay throughout it for the most part. Drug addict continues to get clean, then goes back on drugs, then starts the cycle again. The part of the story that turned me off was after he visited the troops in Afghanastan and went on and on about how important they are and how they should be revered and they would die for us (I agree with all of this). Then, when he and his friends were to go home they had to deal with a lot of cancelled flights. They were supposed to arrive ho ...more
Mo_mcphee
Jul 31, 2012 Mo_mcphee rated it did not like it


This far, the foreward written by Howard Stern has been the only bit that even made me crack a smile. If I wanted a thoroughly depressing and dull tale of drug abuse I would go to an NA meeting. Actually scratch that, those meetings are a blast!!
xTx xTx
Jan 03, 2009 xTx xTx rated it liked it
I love Artie...so I read his book. Already had heard many of the stories on the air, but enjoyed it anyway. Made me scared for him, even more than I was already.
Bill
Dec 04, 2014 Bill rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I remember listenting to Howard Stern "interviewing" Artie Lange several years ago on the Stern show. It was an amazing moment; Howard talking about Artie's apparently complete (at the time) disinterest in, well, living. It was honest and heart rending and I've never forgotten it.

This book contains a lot of background on Artie's life and descriptions of the good and bad that has happened to him; most notably the problems that drug addiction have caused him.

It may not be for everyone, but the fol
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Krys Gut
Nov 09, 2014 Krys Gut rated it liked it
Shelves: memoir
Artie Lange (for those of us who don’t know) is known as a stand-up comedian, a comedian on MadTV, but also as one of Howard Stern’s sidekicks. He has battled severe alcohol and drug abuse for most of his adult life.

The book is what you would expect from a memoir:
• His humble upbringing
• His simple and loyal parents
• Artie’s poor life choices (and really dumb moves)
• His quest to get high throughout his career rise

His language is frank and crass, but funny crass.

Enjoyable read, and one hell
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Julie
Apr 15, 2016 Julie rated it it was ok
Not sure where I got this book. It has been sitting on my shelf for quite a while. Probably from a library bag sale. I almost put it in my "donate" pile, because I was afraid it might be too vulgar and disgusting for me. But I decided to give it a shot. The beginning was actually pretty sweet. Stories of his childhood. But then it turned into a story of his drug addiction. That's when it got vulgar and disgusting. Artie seems like a nice enough guy with a good heart. I kept reading hoping for a ...more
Mohtashem2002 Mohtashem
Feb 27, 2009 Mohtashem2002 Mohtashem is currently reading it
this is book is so damn funny!
Michelle Lemaster
Boy... how did I come across this one? That's easy. I picked it up for my husband and, of course, it was in the bathroom ready to be read. It seems so natural that this read would begin on the toilet! Well, I started reading it and just kept coming back to it. Might as well admit it: This high-brow literary junkie is enjoying a guilty pleasure! From Dickens to Artie Lange! You can't say my tastes are not diverse!

Really though,if you want to better acquaint yourself with the psyche of an irrevere
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Rikki
Apr 02, 2009 Rikki rated it really liked it
Easy and entertaining read. The book is written mainly how Artie talks, which I find very refreshing. It reads as the much softer New York accent of North Jersey-ites living near larger cities, like Newark. These Jersey-ites often leave out conjugated verbs.
In contrast, the North Jersey SUBURBS have a much better education system and these Jersey-ites hardly have any accent at all. Unless, they leave the Tri-State area. Then all bets are off. YOU ARE FROM JERSEY or NEW YORK!
I come from out West
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Jane
Jan 01, 2014 Jane rated it liked it
Recommends it for: Only serious Artie Lange fans. Probably men woudl enjoy more than women.
I was on the fence about giving this book 2 or 3 stars. So really this is more like a 2.5 star review which is surprising. An audio book by a funny person read by that funny person would normally be an easy 3 stars from me. I'm a fan of Artie's too so it's kind of disappointing. If you're not a fan, it's unlikely that this book is for you.
Here's what I liked:
- Artie is funny and I did laugh out loud at times.
- He seemed like he was being truthful and wasn't holding back.
- He wasn't defensive.
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Arthur Steven Lange, Jr. is an American stand-up comedian, radio personality, and actor. Lange is most notable for replacing Jackie Martling on The Howard Stern Show, and as a member of the original cast of the sketch comedy series MADtv. Lange's first book Too Fat to Fish was released on November 11, 2008 and was named a New York Times best seller on November 21st, 2008.
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