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Too Fat to Fish
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Too Fat to Fish

3.67 of 5 stars 3.67  ·  rating details  ·  3,857 ratings  ·  394 reviews
Outrageous, raw, and painfully funny true stories straight from the life of the actor, comedian, and much-loved cast member of The Howard Stern Show—with a foreword by Howard Stern.

When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show’s move to the wild,
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Hardcover, 320 pages
Published November 11th 2008 by Spiegel & Grau (first published January 1st 2008)
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Community Reviews

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Jason Koivu
I knew the guy had substance abuse issues, but sheeesh!

Too Fat to Fish is a no-holds-barred, tell-all that goes into great detail regarding the very depths comedian Artie Lange has sunk to. And apparently he's not finished. During the reading of this audiobook (yes audiobook...you think I would've picked this up if I wasn't able to breeze through it while driving, exercising, making dinner and taking dumps? Hell no!) Lange had to quit and have friends help him finish reading the book, because he
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Todd N
As a genius, I require highly intellectual stimulus to keep from getting bored. Fortunately The Howard Stern Show provides such stimulus and helps me think my genius thoughts. In this small way alone Howard Stern helps make the world a better place.

I was browsing on my Kindle a few nights ago and downloaded Too Fat To Fish on an impulse. It was between that and Shakespeare's comedies. I've read Shakespeare so many times that I decided to download the Lange.

I'm not sure what the opposite of "Know
...more
Karen Germain
So this book was recommended to me by one of my managers, a guy who really doesn't read and pretty much the last person I would ever expect to get a book recommendation from. I don't listen to Howard Stern and didn't know who Artie Lange was before starting this book. I went for it based on the recommendation.

I am glad I did. This memoir had a bit of everything. In many parts it had me laughing, loved the "Too Fat to Fish story." I cried ( a rarity for me) when he was talking about his father. I
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Jamie
I probably wouldn't have read this but after hearing the travails of making the audiobook on the Stern show, I couldn't help but listen. Artie is a GREAT storyteller, but it definitely took him time to settle into reading. Good God! I think, what's this gonna sound like when Rev. Bob Levy takes over? Gary reads 2nd and it took me a while to remember that this was Artie's story and not Gary's because you get so used to the voices of the Stern show people. Rev. Bob was hilarious because he didn't ...more
Jen
This was the worst autobiography I've ever read in my life. Artie Lange has lived a boring life, no different from any other loser alcoholic/addict. I was bored out of my mind the entire time and it took me 2 weeks to finish this because I kept putting it down. The only reason I stuck with it was because I kept thinking that it would have to get better!

The parts of the book where he describes vomiting and crapping all over himself are totally disgusting and absolutely unnecessary.

Save yourself s
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Kurt Halfpenny
I've always loved Artie, from the moment I saw him on MadTV and Dirty Work and then throughout the years on Howard Stern. So I was fully aware of his "Problems" before reading this book. It's an easy read, filled with some great stories. For the people who think he stories and drug problems are "out of control" I challenge you to read David Carr or Nic Sheff's memoirs. From what I read, Artie is most definitely an addict with a number of substance abuse problems form Coke, any Opiate, Booze and, ...more
Melanie
This book has made me wonder about specialties in the field of ghost writing.
Betty
Jan 19, 2009 Betty rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: stand-up comic memoirs
I was a little unsure when I received this book to review, but I was actually pleasantly surprised. Artie Lange, stand-up comic, actor, and a part of the Howard Stern show, did not sound like a book I would be able to get through. Yes, it was raw. Yes, it was crude, but certainly not to the extent I anticipated. In fact, this is a very personal, honest story of a man with many problems to overcome. Swinging back and forth between depression and paranoia, he is a perfect candidate for addiction o ...more
Michelle
Apr 01, 2009 Michelle rated it 2 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: no one really.
I heard Terry Gross interview Artie on Fresh Air, and he came across as such a sweet, self-aware, if screwed-up guy. I think that if I had "read" Too Fat to Fish as an audio book that same likable personality may have come across. But as I read it in print form, perhaps that is why I ended up being mostly frustrated and annoyed with his behavior. This was only worsened by the fact that right before I finished the book, I did a little online research to see what Artie is up to at the moment, and ...more
Nick
Bear in mind when reading this book that Lange was still on drugs when writing it; it book ends with Lange stating - well, not just stating, trumpeting - that he's clean, but in fact not only was he still addicted to drugs, but after the book came out he tried to kill himself and basically retired from show business to enter seemingly indefinite rehab. About half the book is Lange talking about how guardian angels aren't just in heaven, they're also the family and friends who look out for you, a ...more
Sarah
I liked this book! I really didn't know too much about Artie before I read the book so I didn't bore me at all. This book made me never ever want to do any type of drugs, not that I ever wanted to before, but this shit made it offical, just reading the chapter pig in shit was enough. He really is a great story teller and it was pretty funny, more then once I laughed out loud. Hopefully he comes out with another book and maybe actually cleans up! But I guess that wouldn't be too much fun to read ...more
Joy
Dec 24, 2008 Joy is currently reading it
The stories are crazy. I wouldn't want to be friends with Artie, but I think he's kind of a genius. He is a story-teller and the way he sees the world and himself in the world makes for him stumbling in to the main gist of some screwed up stories.
When in a diner parking lot in his dad's handicapped van, he ordered a deluxe from his new Brazilian friend because that's what he would have called a parallel order if he were in the diner.
Brilliant and then all the sorrow for humanity sets in.

Sean
I knew a lot of these stories from listening to the "Howard Stern Show". However Artie gives more details that were previously unknown to anyone but himself. It made for an interesting read overall. I felt the book was very sweet at times and made me wish Artie would just get his shit together already. If you're a fan of Artie or the Howard Stern Show its worth the read.
Melissa
I thought this book was okay throughout it for the most part. Drug addict continues to get clean, then goes back on drugs, then starts the cycle again. The part of the story that turned me off was after he visited the troops in Afghanastan and went on and on about how important they are and how they should be revered and they would die for us (I agree with all of this). Then, when he and his friends were to go home they had to deal with a lot of cancelled flights. They were supposed to arrive ho ...more
Mo_mcphee


This far, the foreward written by Howard Stern has been the only bit that even made me crack a smile. If I wanted a thoroughly depressing and dull tale of drug abuse I would go to an NA meeting. Actually scratch that, those meetings are a blast!!
Bill
I remember listenting to Howard Stern "interviewing" Artie Lange several years ago on the Stern show. It was an amazing moment; Howard talking about Artie's apparently complete (at the time) disinterest in, well, living. It was honest and heart rending and I've never forgotten it.

This book contains a lot of background on Artie's life and descriptions of the good and bad that has happened to him; most notably the problems that drug addiction have caused him.

It may not be for everyone, but the fol
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Krys Gut
Artie Lange (for those of us who don’t know) is known as a stand-up comedian, a comedian on MadTV, but also as one of Howard Stern’s sidekicks. He has battled severe alcohol and drug abuse for most of his adult life.

The book is what you would expect from a memoir:
• His humble upbringing
• His simple and loyal parents
• Artie’s poor life choices (and really dumb moves)
• His quest to get high throughout his career rise

His language is frank and crass, but funny crass.

Enjoyable read, and one hell
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Eirik Hafskjold
As a long time fan and rabid listener of The Howard Stern Show, a book about Artie seemed like a good idea. I always knew he was a crazy gambling drunk addict off (and on actually) the air, and I wanted the details. I got them. It was fun to connect the dots between memorable bits from the show and what happened privately for Artie at the same time. There is comedy in here for sure, but I guess its mostly Artie's dark downward spiral into heroin and depression. Good book about a good guy with mo ...more
N.K.
I wasn't too sure if I would enjoy this book or not but picked it up on a whim. Some times autobiographies written by comedians can be really good, others are just self-indulgent nonsense. This was actually better than expected. Artie Lange is raw and open in this book; telling tales of horrid excesses and the costs associated with the same. There are parts that are laugh out loud funny and other parts that are cringe worthy. I will read his second book at some point. I do not feel the need to r ...more
Mohtashem2002 Mohtashem
Feb 27, 2009 Mohtashem2002 Mohtashem is currently reading it
this is book is so damn funny!
Michelle Lemaster
Boy... how did I come across this one? That's easy. I picked it up for my husband and, of course, it was in the bathroom ready to be read. It seems so natural that this read would begin on the toilet! Well, I started reading it and just kept coming back to it. Might as well admit it: This high-brow literary junkie is enjoying a guilty pleasure! From Dickens to Artie Lange! You can't say my tastes are not diverse!

Really though,if you want to better acquaint yourself with the psyche of an irrevere
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Rikki
Easy and entertaining read. The book is written mainly how Artie talks, which I find very refreshing. It reads as the much softer New York accent of North Jersey-ites living near larger cities, like Newark. These Jersey-ites often leave out conjugated verbs.
In contrast, the North Jersey SUBURBS have a much better education system and these Jersey-ites hardly have any accent at all. Unless, they leave the Tri-State area. Then all bets are off. YOU ARE FROM JERSEY or NEW YORK!
I come from out West
...more
Jane
Jan 01, 2014 Jane rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Only serious Artie Lange fans. Probably men woudl enjoy more than women.
I was on the fence about giving this book 2 or 3 stars. So really this is more like a 2.5 star review which is surprising. An audio book by a funny person read by that funny person would normally be an easy 3 stars from me. I'm a fan of Artie's too so it's kind of disappointing. If you're not a fan, it's unlikely that this book is for you.
Here's what I liked:
- Artie is funny and I did laugh out loud at times.
- He seemed like he was being truthful and wasn't holding back.
- He wasn't defensive.
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Dana
To be honest, I didn't know much about Artie Lange in general until my bf got me a Sirius radio and opened my ears to the wildly entertaining Howard100 station. I'd seen this book around at a few local stores, and it was recommended to me when I'd expressed an interest in Stern's out-of-print memoir, Private Parts.
My dad gave me an Amazon Kindle for my birthday, even though I'd proclaimed I'd never have one since I liked books too much. But I tried it, got used to it, and have decided that a Kin
...more
Richie
Dec 22, 2011 Richie rated it 1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Baba Booey
Recommended to Richie by: Howard Stern
I'm probably being unfair to Artie Lange in rating his book 1/5 stars. The truth is, had I have read the book when it came out in 2008, I probably would have rated it higher. I love Artie. I find him extremely entertaining and enjoyed listening to him on Stern for years. I'll never forget gathering around the radio with my co-workers and laughing hysterically as Artie recounted his fleeing MadTV rehearsal in full pig regalia to score coke. I'm thrilled that I got to see him perform live and shou ...more
Eric
Christ, what a fuck-up this guy is. Anybody who has listened to the Stern show probably already heard everything in this book. Anybody who doesn't listen to the Stern show probably isn't at all interested. It feels like co-writer Anthony Bozza was given the task to transcribe these stories from Artie telling them live on Stern. Artie's life can be summed up pretty simply. Here's the book in a nutshell:

"I had going on, was doing better in life than I ever had any right to, until i got out of con
...more
Matthew Flannery
Yes, this book is in the same list as The Seven Storey Mountain. And The Sun Also Rises. This book is the trashy junk food I took on vacation, as opposed to the majority of the more healthy books I usually read. Perfect beach book -- probably taken down in 6 hours total, in between drinking and sleeping on the beach in Antigua.

Lots of Jersey references, which I love, and lots of crude humor, which is even better. But the middle 1/2 of the book ends up just being how bad his life was and how fuc
...more
Andrew Georgiadis
3.5 STARS

Artie Lange would hate me if he met me. He seems to make the wrong decision every time, and it's difficult, even as an outsider, to be forgiving. Chapter after chapter is epic cock-up after unfathomable stupidity and poor self control. But he's hilarious, and so maybe it's forgivable. It shouldn't be, but it is.

He makes many references to guardian angels in his life, and seems to be incredibly lucky. Without his family, Dana, Orlando Jones, and numerous others, who can say where Artie w
...more
Evan
Just resumed listening to this after a hiatus...
FINAL:
Artie is a classic conflicted addictive personality. Making and breaking promises, burning bridges, spending all his money recklessly, going into debt, disappointing everyone who loves him, nearly dying from OD's several times, going cold turkey then falling off the wagon, blowing career opportunities; laughing at himself and feeling sorry for himself and saying "fuck you" to everyone then realizing he was wrong. Overdrinking, overeating and
...more
Ren
Let me tell you, living your life on the air in front of eight million listeners who pay attention to every single thing you do every single day is pretty fucking strange...It's strange because the fans really do care in their way, they're really a part of your life. They're like relatives who keep tabs on you...

This is EXACTLY how my sister and I (both hardcore Howard Stern fans) feel about Artie. When he was still a cast member, and he called in sick, she'd call me and say, "Artie's not in." W
...more
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Arthur Steven Lange, Jr. is an American stand-up comedian, radio personality, and actor. Lange is most notable for replacing Jackie Martling on The Howard Stern Show, and as a member of the original cast of the sketch comedy series MADtv. Lange's first book Too Fat to Fish was released on November 11, 2008 and was named a New York Times best seller on November 21st, 2008.
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