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On Love

3.95  ·  Rating Details  ·  8,738 Ratings  ·  731 Reviews
"The longing for a destiny is nowhere stronger than in our romantic life" we are told at the outset of Alain de Botton's On Love, a hip, charming, and devastatingly witty rumination on the thrills and pitfalls of romantic love. The narrator is smitten by Chloe on a Paris-London flight, and by the time they've reached the luggage carousel, he knows he is in love. He loves h ...more
Paperback, 231 pages
Published January 1st 1995 by Grove Press (first published January 1st 1994)
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Dec 14, 2015 FeReSHte rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: همه ! بدون شک همه البته به جز سامان
Shelves: essay
داستان خیلی ساده ست. دختر و پسری که در پروازی از پاریس به لندن کنار هم نشستند اتفاقی با هم آشنا میشن و به سرعت هم عاشق میشن. حالا قراره ما این زوج رو از این نقطه شروع تا نقطه پایان همراهی کنیم.داستان غیرعادی نیست چه بسا که تو زندگی روزمره خودمون و اطرافیانمون هم بارها با مواردی از این دست مواجه شدیم. این همه جذابیت و عمق اثر از کجا میاد که رها کردن کتاب حتی برای لحظه ای هم ناممکن میشه؟

ریزترین احساسات، برخوردها، حرف ها و واکنش های درگیر در این رابطه آنالیز میشن. انگار که عشق رو از زیر عدسی میکروس
Apr 05, 2009 Aaron rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Imagine one of your close friends - let's call him AB - has recently embarked on an intense and tumultuous relationship.
You like hearing his take on things. Since AB is introspective and curious, he is able to describe his experiences to you in fascinating detail. Since he studied philosophy, he can relate his insights to you in a wider frame of thought.

That's the tone of this book. It's not pretentious, or mushy, or a how-to. Just a quiet, devastating examination of how we act when in love.

K.D. Absolutely
Feb 13, 2011 K.D. Absolutely rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to K.D. by: 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die (2006-2010)
Shelves: 1001-core
”Mahal mo ba ako dahil kailangan mo ako o kailangan mo ako dahil mahal mo ako?” (“Do you love me because you need me or do you need me because you love me?”) is what the character of Claudine Barretto asks the character of Piolo Pasqual in Olivia M. Lamasan’s 2004 movie Milan . This is my favorite Tagalog love story movie and this question is one of those that Alain de Botton (born 1969) tried to answer in his book On Love: A Novel (2006), also earlier published as Essays on Love in 1993.

This t
Jan 13, 2012 Caris rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2012
I first discovered Alain de Botton in the film 500 Days of Summer. There’s a scene in the movie where the protagonist is riding a train a while after his romantic entanglement comes to an end. As he reads de Botton’s book, The Architecture of Happiness, he happens to run into the woman, that friendly black mark on his heart, which leads to the final stage of their relationship.

I wasn’t sure what I was looking for when I read The Architecture of Happiness, but it wasn’t what I got. It wasn’t so m
ستایش  دشتی
فصل نخست کتابو خوندم و بعد به خاطرِ یه بیماریِ وسواس، یه نگاه سرسری به متن انگلیسیِ همون فصل اول هم انداختم، و حتی توی همون نگاه سرسری، مترجم خیلی خیلی خیلی غلط داشت! واقعاً نظرم نسبت به گلی امامی و ترجمهٔ کتاب برگشت...
Quân Khuê
Jun 15, 2014 Quân Khuê rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
thường khi yêu thì không luận còn khi luận thì không yêu, đằng này, vừa yêu lại vừa luận, rõ là chỉ có đồ quái gở mới làm được trò này. Alain de Botton không phải Bottom là một tay quái gở như thế.

sách thích hợp để đọc vào những ngày mưa và những ngày thứ tư, những ngày nắng và những ngày thứ ba, trong rạp xi-nê, trong công viên, trên bãi biển hoặc trong phòng ngủ, hay bất cứ lúc nào muốn lãng mạn một tí, tỏ ra sâu sắc một tí, hay đơn giản để thưởng thức cái giọng đểu đểu một tí :)
Todd Nemet
Dec 24, 2008 Todd Nemet rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Since reading The Consolations Of Philosophy and Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton, I've been on the look out for more of his books.

In Chicago on business a few weeks ago, I managed to find a copy of On Love used for about $7 (and a rare copy of The True Believer by Eric Hoffer for $3, not to brag or anything). Check out After-Words Bookstore on E. Illinois if you get a chance.

[Aside: It's really hard to locate books by Mr. de Botton in a used bookstore. First of all he could be filed under "D"
May 17, 2010 Emm rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I love "On Love." I hate to describe this gem as something as typical as 'delightful', but it would be a completely accurate description. It was easy to read, but in no way simple. He manages to so perfectly capture the quarks and beautiful, nonsensical aspects of human nature that this book can do non other to affirm the joy of being alive. Botton's witticisms are spot-on and his linguistic juxtapositions are poignant and incredibly good humored. And yet, the novel manages to be touching whilst ...more
Dec 14, 2015 Reza rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: در-الویت
یکی از بهترین کتاب ها در زمینه واکاوی روابط بین دو جنس مخالف یعنی دختر و پسر و یا زن ومرداست. که بسیار بحث های جالبی داره. ....مثلا نویسنده در جایی از کتاب بر این عقیدس که نباید در معشوق دنبال کمال یا آرمان بگردیم چرا که این کار باعث کوری ما و ندیدن همه ویژگی های طرف مقایل می شود. ....
و یا در جایی دیگر آلن دو باتن بر این اشاره دارد که پایان عشق دردناک تر از پایان زندگی یا همان مرگ است چرا که بعد مرگ هیچ حسی نخواهیم داشت ولی زندگی بعد از پایان عشق چندان هم آسان نیست و چه کسی می داند که پایان یک ر
Nov 26, 2015 Parastoo rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
بعد از خواندن تسلی بخشی های فلسفه ، آلن دوباتن ،به سرعت رفت توی لیست نویسنده های مورد علاقه ام و حالا با خواندن این کتاب حقیقتا عاشق این نویسنده شدم.
شاید حرف زدن درباره ی عشق از دیدگاه عقلانی و منطقی،کمی در نظرمان اهانت آمیز بیاید،انگار ک از قداست و آسمانی بودن آن می کاهد ولی با وجود آن،این کتاب دوست داشتنی ست چون نگاه متفاوت و غیراحساساتی گری اش ب روابط عاشقانه،باعث میشود ک از ابعاد دیگری هم ب این مسئله ی هیجان انگیز نگاه کنیم.کتاب فلسفی است ولی اصلا پیچیده نیست،خیلی هم ساده و روان و همه پسند ص
Also posted on my blog: i'mbookedindefinitely

I have been having different slices of the same loaf. And I plan to continue on finishing the platter until kingdom come. After reading Fromm's Art of Loving, Alain de Botton's On Love was consequently partaken of.

At the outset, Art of Loving must be considered as a league of its own. The theorizing Fromm achieved was incomparable in that love, like any other concept in the social sciences, could be easily demystified, unraveled and explained by the
نمی دانم چندین هفته پیش خواندن این کتاب رو تمام کردم...!! ولی دغدغه ام بود حداقل یه چند خطی راجع بهش بنویسم چرا؟ چون شاید تنها کتابی بوده تو این چند ماه اخیرکامل خوندم!!! بسی جای تاسف.اگر به مداقه در باب عشثق و عشق ورزیدن تمایل دارید ،اگر تا اسم عشق میاد چشمانتان شروع به درخشیدن میکنند و فوری یه غزل ازحافظ تو ذهنتان نقش می بنده، یا حتی صحنه یه تانگو دونفره.... خلاصه در این امور دستی دارید خواندن این کتاب رو ازدست ندید من کلا چیزی نفهمیدم ازش!!!:)))
Sousan Raie
رابطه ی توصیف شده در کتاب به نظر من سطحی تر ازونی بود که بشه بهش گفت عشق. حتی به جرات میتونم اسمشو بذارم دوستی خیابونی. این دو تا آدم از مسیر یه سفر با هم دوست شدن و نویسنده اصلا سعی نکرده بود از عمیق شدن این آدمها در دنیای همدیگه و تاثیر ماندگاری که آدمها روی عمق شخصیت ، رفتار ، نگاه و بینش هم میذارن صحبت کنه. صرفا اخلاق های روزمره ا ی رو که میتونه از طرف یه دوست هم جالب باشه، توضیح داده بود. مشکلاتی که راوی داستان بعد از خیانت معشوقش بهش دچار شد از نظر من پاسخ های بسیار ساده روان شناسی داشت ام ...more
Tuệ Trần
Apr 13, 2015 Tuệ Trần rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Quyển này cho 2 sao cũng được mà 3 sao cũng được mà 4 sao cũng được mà 5 sao cũng được mà nếu có thì cho 6 sao luôn.

Như một ý Alain de Botton dẫn trong tiểu thuyết này: ai tỏ ra quá hiểu biết về việc yêu thì hóa ra chẳng phải là yêu con mịa gì.

Và như thế: quyển sách này hoàn toàn nằm ngoài địa hạt của tình yêu. Đừng bị lừa!

Sách thích hợp với các cháu từ 8 đến 16 tuổi.

Dec 03, 2010 umberto rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
In fact, I bought this book on my birthday and read it three years ago. It's quite readable since the author wrote in numbered essays under each Chapter with various lengths, e.g. Chapter 1 Romantic Fatalism, there are 18 essays, Chapter 2 Idealization - 14, Chapter 3 The Subtext of Seduction - 16, etc. till the end, that is, Chapter 24 Love Lessons. You may try reading any chapter you like to test your love hypothesis and see come what may.

Here are some of my favorite lines:

1. Cupid's arrow eas
Sep 26, 2011 Karl rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Boy meets girl, they fall in love, they fall out of love. Between these major beats, Alain de Botton traverses enough philosophical ground to make that old story entirely his own. It's a love story, of course, but it's intellectual more than it is romantic. It's not about some guy's fortunate/unfortunate heart, it's about a brain (with an impressive classical education) trying to come to terms with said heart.

And it's fun. And almost too quotable. I don't rush to mark up many of my books, but th
Oct 22, 2015 Sonya rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
بعضی کتاب ها هستند که باید آن ها را حتما خواند، حتی اگر سالی فقط یک کتاب می خوانید. به نظر من این کتاب رو باید هرچندسال یکبار دوباره خوانی کرد، ممکنه هر کسی بنا به تجاربش در درک مرحله ای از این کتاب تواناتر باشد. کتاب پر از حقایقی است همه تجربه اش کرده اند چون هر انسانی عاشق شده و یا خواهد شد.
قصه ی عشق یک ساله ی آلن دوباتن با یکی از دخترهایی که تو راه زندگیش قرار گرفتن. از اول آشنایی تا آخر جدایی.با ثبت جزئیات و دسته بندی کردن و معنا جستن برای هر دسته از لحظه ها...
با دقت و به سرعت خوندمش. از سبک مقاله ها خوشم اومد. همون جوری بودن که خودم دوست دارم بنویسم. طرح داشتن. شماره داشتن. به ترتیب و کوتاه کوتاه و بریده بریده حرفا رو می گفت... بعضی از پاراگراف برام دقیقا پیش اومده بودن و از بیان شدن شدن به لذت می رسیدم. بعضی ها بودن و من نتونسته بودم حتا در درونم به بیان برسونم شون و آلن دو بات
Sadaf Matinkhoo
Dec 04, 2015 Sadaf Matinkhoo rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
Love at first sight, going out for a while, and breaking up. This has happened to most of us, joy at the beginning and heartbreak at the end. But you never think about it the way Alain de Botton describes in his book. You never analyze the behaviour of the people in the relationship this deeply and logically. And oh, how familiar was it all! That is the beauty of this book, you have already experienced it, but you never knew what you were experiencing. Alain de Botton takes you on a self-discove ...more
Oct 01, 2015 Nora rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
همیشه در حسرت عشقی هستیم که در فرایند آن نه دچار کاستی شویم و نه سوء تفاهم. در مقابل طبقه بندی شدن توسط دیگران مقاومت مرگباری می کنیم. این که برچسب بر ما بزنند(مرد،زن،پولدار، فقیر،یهودی، کاتولیک و غیره ). ما برای خودمان غیر قابل برچسب خوردن هستیم. تنها که هستیم همیشه منم هستیم که بدون هیچ مشکلی و بدون ممانعتی که دیگران بر ما اعمال می کنند از یک جهت به جهت دیگر تغییر مکان می دهیم
Oct 27, 2015 میعاد rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorite
به شدت كتاب رو دوست داشتم به همه مخصوصن جوونا پيشنهاد ميكنم بخوننش كه پر از حرف و نكات خوب!!!
Stephanie Sun
How many of us read the Carver story "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love" for the first time and were brutally disappointed to find four alcoholics talking at a kitchen table, and not a collection of erudite, pseudo-intellectual, slyly funny musings about romance and sex?

In 1993, Alain de Botton, at 23, rushed in to fill the gap with a novel stylized as the highly organized, possibly pretentious diary entries of a self-aware yet unreliable male narrator throughout the duration of a relat
Jan 21, 2009 Kelsey rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I just finished this book an hour ago...and I needed this book. I picked it up at the wasn't even in any order, it was just lying in the wrong section...rejected. I'm not saying I felt an empathetic tug towards (Frued, get out!), but it is brightly colored, so I blame my crow like behaviour and the recent "get back together happiness" I was then experiencing. Basically, it "studies" love through a boy meet girl story with the protagonist as the well educated boy. It's wonderful! Upo ...more
Ahmad Sharabiani
Essays in Love, Alain de Botton
عنوان: جستارهایی در باب عشق؛ نویسنده: آلن دو باتن؛ مترجم: گلی امامی؛ تهران، نیلوفر، 1394؛ در 228 ص؛ شابک: 9789644484780؛ موضوع: عشق و فلسفه قرن 20 م
Sep 11, 2015 Roberto rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Come funzionano le storie d'amore? Come nasce, si sviluppa, si stabilizza, muore un amore? Come mai quelle sensazioni appassionate e travolgenti che si vivono all'inizio si trasformano poi spesso in una monotona abitudine (se va bene) o in insofferente insoddisfazione o in tradimento (se va male)? E come si arriva alla inesorabile morte straziante dell'amore (straziante perché da un certo punto in poi non se ne può più....)?

Ecco, il libro "Esercizi d'amore" si prefigge di dare risposte a queste
Quang Khuê
Giống như một phiên bản thiếu vắng hình ảnh của (500) Days of Summer.

Èo, đọc xong thì mình nghĩ một điều: Nếu cuốn sách này (hay tình yêu) là nghiêm túc (một chút) thì cũng buồn. Mà nếu cuốn sách này (hay tình yêu) là đùa cợt (một chút) thì cũng lại vẫn buồn.

[Hồi xưa mình từng nghĩ sẽ yêu một cô gái câm để khỏi phải nghe chửi :)))]
Aug 31, 2015 samira rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
سرنوشت هملت گونهای دیگر میشد، اگر از کمک یک روانکاو یونگی برخوردار شده بود، اتللو میتوانست بر ستیهندگیاش غلبه کند، اگر بر نیمکت روانکاوی دراز میکشید، رومئو هم احتمالا از طریق بنگاه یاریابی مناسب میتوانست فرد برازندهتری پیدا کند و اودیپ میتوانست در یک خانوادهدرمانی مشکلش را حل کند. ...more
Oct 14, 2015 Trang rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Đừng tin lời quảng cáo trên bìa 4 của Nhã Nam, rằng tùy 'khẩu vị' mà người đọc có thể đọc cuốn sách như một quyển triết hay như một chuyện tình. Cái chuyện tình ở đây super siêu kinh điển nhạt nhèo: 2 đứa trên zời rơi xuống gặp nhao, iêu nhao, trong lúc iêu thì có nảy sinh cãi nhao và này nọ và các thứ sến súa như kiểu bọn iêu nhao fải thế.

Tóm lại trên khía cạnh chuyện tình, thì nó chả có gì.

Trên khía cạnh triết lí. Chuyện tình kia thực ra chỉ là cái cớ, như là một mẫu vật để mổ xẻ trong phòng t
Feb 18, 2009 Kate rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
On Love charts a love affair between the narrator and Chloe, a woman he meets on a British Airways carrier from Paris to England. After “an exchange of biography,” the usual digression begins: romance, intimacy, heartbreak and rebirth (or progression, depending on which way you look at it).

Sharp and witty, de Botton is the kind of person you hope to be seated next to at a dinner party. While in the throes of love’s grip, watching his beloved in a grocery store, he tells us: “For a moment, I fant
Oct 28, 2011 Sarah rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
"There is nothing in this world but mad love..." --Mary Oliver

On Love in some ways evoked a far subtler version of Sophie's World -- philosophical instruction under the guise of a well-written novel. As the narrator acknowledges at certain points, while the lover feels unique in all the world, love is actually the most universal experience, and the purpose of the narrative is certainly to explore the universality of the experience, while couching his points in a specific story. The story's arc a
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2015 Reading Chal...: Essays in Love by Alain de Botton 2 12 Apr 20, 2015 04:16PM  
  • Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose
  • Looking for the Possible Dance
  • In Praise of Love
  • Conditions of Love: The Philosophy of Intimacy
  • Love's Work: A Reckoning with Life
  • Forever a Stranger and Other Stories
  • The End of the Story
  • Intimacy: das Buch zum Film von Patrice Chéreau
  • The Psychology of Love
  • Hallucinating Foucault
  • Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals
  • Life Is a Caravanserai
  • A General Theory of Love
  • Land
  • Disappearance
  • Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
  • How to Stay Sane
  • Celestial Harmonies
Alain de Botton is a writer and television producer who lives in London and aims to make philosophy relevant to everyday life. He can be contacted by email directly via

He is a writer of essayistic books, which refer both to his own experiences and ideas- and those of artists, philosophers and thinkers. It's a style of writing that has been termed a 'philosophy of everyday lif
More about Alain de Botton...

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“Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won't find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults. We locate inside another a perfection that eludes us within ourselves, and through our union with the beloved hope to maintain (against the evidence of all self-knowledge) a precarious faith in our species.” 211 likes
“We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never saved anyone from the disease.” 179 likes
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