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The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them
by
David Richo
Why is it that despite our best efforts, many of us remain fundamentally unhappy and unfulfilled in our lives? In this provocative and inspiring book, David Richo distills thirty years of experience as a therapist to explain the underlying roots of unhappiness—and the surprising secret to finding freedom and fulfillment.
There are certain facts of life that we cannot chan...more
There are certain facts of life that we cannot chan...more
Mass Market Paperback, 272 pages
Published
April 8th 2008
by Shambhala
(first published January 11th 2005)
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This book is seriously one of, if not, the best self-help book i've ever read. Not that i've read much, but after reading this, I feel no need to read any more. It's basically a trip to the psychologist in a book. David Richo explains the five things we cannot change in life, or "givens", and the things we gain by embracing them. Ultimately wisdom, understanding, loving-kindness and happiness. All throughout reading this book, I realized that most of what we read in self-help books, ar...more
This was a great companion book to How to be an Adult in Relationships. It took what might have been some really negative truths about life and talked about how to turn them around and understand our actions and behaviour through their filters. Life is not a painless journey - let's face it. Life is suffering. But all our suffering is an opportunity for learning and behaving in a way that is respectful and caring to ourselves and to others. If we have committed to the Noble Path we can unde...more
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I am not a big fan of self-help books but this one appealed to me. It was given to me by someone whose opinion I value, so I gave it a chance. I am glad I did. Life sucks people! Time to embrace it and be happy anyway! Just kidding, sort of....this book lays out the truth about the human condition. But, there is hope. I like the author's approach which is a touch of psychology, eastern thought, and spirituality all in the right combination at the right time. I also like all of the quotes...more
I've read two of Richo's other books which I liked. This is an excellent discussion of the givens, and a very good setup to introduce Tonglen meditation. I was taught Tonglen during a series of teachings with a buddhist master on the Eight Verses for Training the Mind. I found this practice very beneficial.
I'm a bit of a self-help nut. I'm fascinated by how people think and behave. I've read this book and Richo's How to Be An Adult in Relationships, and they both are excellent. Great writing and examples, and I just appreciate books that take a deeper look at life and how we live it.
Quite a serendipitous time to be reading a book such as this. I think my brain absorbed most of it, but will probably go back and read it again with a highlighter. There are too many gems of wisdom to ponder or to coherently put into a book review. Needless to say, I am profoundly grateful for these gems of wisdom that I find along the path of life. I gratefully put them in my pocket and proceed onward.
For parents who have an ED-child I've found few too many words that can comfort and instill some deeper understandings than Richo's work-- even though it's non-ED related.
I go back often to his books/words, as he has done with reinstating basic principles of Buddhist thought/practices.
A nice reminder are Richo's "five unavoidable givens-facts that come visit us all" when you may be having a bad day or looking for blame, or feeling vunerable, etc.:
1. ...more
I go back often to his books/words, as he has done with reinstating basic principles of Buddhist thought/practices.
A nice reminder are Richo's "five unavoidable givens-facts that come visit us all" when you may be having a bad day or looking for blame, or feeling vunerable, etc.:
1. ...more
Orishaz
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Anyone looking to dig deeper into their psyche.
I absolutely loved this book. Richo describes the 5 things we cannot change and gives us the paradoxes that help us to embrace these givens.
i got more out of the first half of the book than the last. Maybe it needs to be shorter. Has some staements within its pages that are great!
This book could have been better with more about the author's journey or other examples of how his ideas can change our lives.
This will probably be on my 'currently reading' shelf for months. Not because I have put off reading it, but because I can't stop REreading it. The language is simple and kind, but the subject so vast and deep that every time I pick up this book a new sentence and idea pops out to me. What he is suggesting is a practice of a lifetime.
Read review at: http://elainejarvis.blogspot.com/2012/01...
its a sophisticated book somehow but its very very useful U R gonna learn a lot when u read it
The book changed my life...I've got it dog-earred, highlighted and on my bed side table.
Great read for helping to accept life givens and knowing there are gifts within them.
I want to read this because the reviews on this site were so good.
I found this very insightful and helpful
I've been looking through this book with my boyfriend for the past 9 months and we keep coming across things that resound for our lives. I'm not into "self-help" kinds of books, but this one is for everyone who bangs their heads about how "other people" are. Richo tells it like it is and sometimes you don't want to hear it, but you have to admit that he's pretty much right on most of the time. "Not everyone is loving or loyal".......wow! if we could just accept ...more
I'd read this book before after Richo's other title (How To Be An Adult In Relationships) had been a real catalyst for change for me. I thought now was a good time to revisit this one, and while I got kind of stuck and bored in the middle of it, the nuggets of wisdom are the still as important. What are the five things we cannot change?
1. Everything changes and ends.
2. Things do not always go according to plan.
3. Life is not always fair.
4. Pain is a part of life.
5...more
1. Everything changes and ends.
2. Things do not always go according to plan.
3. Life is not always fair.
4. Pain is a part of life.
5...more
Kathy Beatty
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
anyone who wishing to live in the moment
Recommended to Kathy by:
Shambhala Sun
My highlighter is running out of color! Every page is a revelation: "I take care of myself, but not at the expense of others. I put others first, but not at the expense of myself." "Every beginning leads to a finale. Changes & endings are inevitable. Nothing is perfect, permanently satisfying, or permanently anything." "Facing the bluntness of reality (in all its beauty & agony) is the highest form of happiness." I am savoring every line.
I had to return this book to the library before I finished it bc someone else had requested it. I thought it was very good and am considering buying a copy so I can re-read it. A helpful and thoughtful discussion of how we create pain by trying to grasp or control things and people, from a neo-buddhist perspective.
This book really affected the perspective I was taking on life and my relationships with select others. It makes me a lot more hopeful and I feel more inspired to try and be loving instead of vindictive. I can be a grudge-holder so this book really made me look at things in another way. I love the author.
I go back to this book over and over. It is a wonderfully written book of wisdom. I get something new from it every time I read it.
Good, some excellent lines worth highlighting on a second read, parts a bit too new age for me but good for anyone spiritual
boy, if i could just memorize this and access it when i run into difficulties, i'd be ahead of the game!
I liked it. It was kinda "zen-like", but very intriguing.
Thoughtful read. Pretty heavy going at some parts.
Excellent book to reground, rebalance and stay sane.
Excellent book on realities of life
practical and real-life
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David Richo, PhD, is a therapist and author who leads popular workshops on personal and spiritual growth.
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, fam...more
More about David Richo...
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, fam...more
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“Humility means accepting reality with no attempt to outsmart it.”
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