We've all felt the giddy flutter of excitement when our new lover walks into the room. Waited by the phone, changed our plans...But are we in love,...
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Oct 13, 2008
Robinvk
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There are some problems with this book -- it's repetitious in places and the argument can feel loose -- but the breadth of Cheever's premise overrides these weaknesses for me. Is this a book about sex addiction? Not quite. This is really a book about addiction in general, and it's a broad-ranging discussion. Cheever supports her point that all addictions share neurological similarities, from the little ones we can hide to the big ones that devastate lives. The drive to stir up physiological pr
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Jan 03, 2009
Pris
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Exploring Desire and Addiction, October 5, 2008
Susan Cheever is most often mentioned as the daughter of literary great, John Cheever. However, with this book she has entered a new arena of her own. With this book, Susan has presented us with a novel that explains that sex addiction should be treated not as a failure of morality or character but as a disease of brain biochemistry resulting from a combination of genetics and life events. This is a groundbreaking effort and one that is a gre More...
Susan Cheever is most often mentioned as the daughter of literary great, John Cheever. However, with this book she has entered a new arena of her own. With this book, Susan has presented us with a novel that explains that sex addiction should be treated not as a failure of morality or character but as a disease of brain biochemistry resulting from a combination of genetics and life events. This is a groundbreaking effort and one that is a gre More...
May 30, 2010
unnarrator
rated it: 
Dear Susan Cheever: Yeah...um, no. A few uninspired personal anecdotes of marital infidelity/serial monogamy/"open marriage," stirred idly together with some lackluster attempts at reportage, plus a goodly amount of I Tell You Gay Story about Daddy, all mingle together to produce something that's not so much genre-transgressive and innovative as it is...well, it kind of smells like feet.
It's odd because much of her writing in this book is about the excitement of writing; bu More...
It's odd because much of her writing in this book is about the excitement of writing; bu More...
Dec 03, 2011
Rachael
rated it: 
Overall I thought this was a brave book tackling ideas that our society is not comfortable in confronting (cf. my review of "A Long Goodbye"). Anyone who has felt the slightest attraction to anything "bad" will find much to relate to in Cheever's book. She brings in a lot of great information, studies, theories, explanations, etc., that the reader can mull over.
My only complaint is that I wanted more. This is a slim book at just 148 pages. Reviews and descriptions More...
My only complaint is that I wanted more. This is a slim book at just 148 pages. Reviews and descriptions More...
Dec 03, 2008
Carol
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Cheever delves into addiction research and successfully melds it with her own life story in her new book about desire. She had already done a good bit of research on her book about Bill Wilson, the founder of AA. Here she goes into the issue of "thirteen stepping", the practice of forming sexual relationships with those new to recovery. Apparently Bill went from alcohol to women, and asked for a whiskey numerous times while on his death bed. Interesting! I don't know that I learned
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May 25, 2010
Lauren
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I wish the subtitle wasnt about sex addiction. I wonder how many people pass this book by thinking it's about people who want to do it to everything that moves?
This book is not about that -- its an update to the "codependency" babble of the self help 90s movement. It's about people who "need" love, it's about that incredibly vulnerable place inside people that wants to be with another person, and the real struggles involved in getting that right, the misplaced emotions More...
This book is not about that -- its an update to the "codependency" babble of the self help 90s movement. It's about people who "need" love, it's about that incredibly vulnerable place inside people that wants to be with another person, and the real struggles involved in getting that right, the misplaced emotions More...
Jun 30, 2009
Vika
rated it:
“Desire: Where Sex Meets Addiction” leaves more to be desired.
This book is a perfect example of why you should not judge the book by its cover. The cover is fetching (designed by my cousin), the title is even catchier, yet the content falls short of being engaging. This book is filled with anecdotal evidence and personal experiences, which provide no specific insight into the sex addiction. The few interesting points about addiction in general are better suited for a long magazine es More...
This book is a perfect example of why you should not judge the book by its cover. The cover is fetching (designed by my cousin), the title is even catchier, yet the content falls short of being engaging. This book is filled with anecdotal evidence and personal experiences, which provide no specific insight into the sex addiction. The few interesting points about addiction in general are better suited for a long magazine es More...
Jan 10, 2009
Golda
rated it:
I don't have sex addiction but I might have love addiction and she had some of the same questions that I do about it all. She heavily researched the subject and brought up a lot of Helen Fisher's findings about the brain on love being a lot like the brain on drugs. Is your beautiful magical relationship, love or addiction? Her answer was it could be both which I liked. On top of all that, I really liked her writing style that is honest and insightful and it made me want to read all of her bo
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Jan 28, 2010
Izlinda
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I found this book while browsing my library's new books a few weeks ago. I did like the cover, and the synopsis was rather intriguing.
Cheever opens the book by talking about her third wedding. And how they cheated on their then-spouses sleeping with each other when they first met. How they agreed their relationship was open. Not just in the sense that they were married to other people so duh, but their love would survive having to sleep with other people. o_O It took me a while More...
Cheever opens the book by talking about her third wedding. And how they cheated on their then-spouses sleeping with each other when they first met. How they agreed their relationship was open. Not just in the sense that they were married to other people so duh, but their love would survive having to sleep with other people. o_O It took me a while More...
Feb 12, 2012
Megankellie
rated it:
I got this book from a roommate who was telling me about the sacred ritual aspect of boning and the addiction aspect. I am basically not interested and cannot relate. So, well, if you can relate, this would probably be good. The writer talks a lot about being ashamed to write the book, which is interesting and weird because the whole topic feels very current. I bet this is very helpful for someone if it is relevant, I feel like I am in a foreign land where all of my fears are real. So. There you
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Dec 27, 2008
Rosa
rated it: 
Poorly written and organized. Insightful gems include pointing out that one is more likely to be a sex addict if one were raised in a bordello than if one grew up in a small town where sexual promiscuity was frowned upon. Ya think?
You'd think a book about sex addiction would be titillating and exciting. Not in Cheever's hands.
You'd think a book about sex addiction would be titillating and exciting. Not in Cheever's hands.
Mar 03, 2010
Melani
rated it:
This book was a big disappointment. It is filled with Cheever's opinions laced with quotes from sex addict experts and her own experience. There is nothing new or even freshly summarized about sex addiction. It is redundant and pompous.
Jun 07, 2009
Elizabeth
rated it:
c2008
the female version of the patrick carnes version of sex addiction
they recognise the occurance of the trance but don't seem to know what to do with it
very focused on fidelity, not very focused on personal developement
the female version of the patrick carnes version of sex addiction
they recognise the occurance of the trance but don't seem to know what to do with it
very focused on fidelity, not very focused on personal developement
May 23, 2009
Jamie
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Kind of like a big magazine article + a smart woman/foolish choices memoir. Two of my favorite things. I read it in about 2 hours. Fascinating and eye opening.
Feb 09, 2012
Charlie
rated it:
No study of PTSD or of it's frequent companions, alcoholic and drug inspired violence is really complete without a better understanding of sex mania.
Jan 23, 2009
Alexandra
rated it:
not totally coherent (ideas flow sort of inexplicably) but makes excellent points about modern partnerships and desire and addiction
Jul 27, 2010
Emjayinc
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Not so much, so far. Trying to see if she ever learns to apply pp68-70.
Dec 29, 2008
Emilia
rated it:
Meh. Light on "hard science" and "in-depth interviews," mostly anecdotal evidence of the author's own pathologies. I learned a few things about sex addiction, but mostly I learned that being John Cheever's daughter makes you weird.
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Feb 09, 2009
Jason
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This book is not actually a study of sex addiction, but a self-help book. Stay Away!
Jan 15, 2009
I didn't have time to finish this, as the waiting list is long. I read probably the first half of it, and while interesting, it was not engaging enough for me to finish.
What's most compelling is that Cheever talks about sex addiction and monogamy and is not a faithful person by her own admission.
What's most compelling is that Cheever talks about sex addiction and monogamy and is not a faithful person by her own admission.
Oct 08, 2008
Alexis
rated it:
A fascinating look at sex and love addiction. Well researched while also sharing the author's own revelations. Cheever's style is direct and simple which makes all of her work an edifying and enjoyable read.
Feb 12, 2012
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