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The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove (Pine Cove #2)

by Christopher Moore (Goodreads Author)

3.82 of 5 stars 3.82 · rating details · 16,896 ratings · 806 reviews

The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally—well, to be accurate, artificially—business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks...more

Paperback, 304 pages

Published May 25th 2004 by William Morrow Paperbacks (first published April 1st 1999)

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May 19, 2008 Beth rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: those with strange sense of humor

When high school English teachers define fiction as "the willing suspension of disbelief", they should distribute copies of Christopher Moore's books to their students to illustrate the concept.

No matter how many time I shake my head or utter the words "he's warped" when I read Moore's books, I inevitably race through them, enjoying every word and chapter as though it were a big bowl of ice cream: deliciously satisfying and fun, fun, fun.

Really, what other author can make you believe that a se...more

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Mar 31, 2013 Bettie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: published-1999, autumn-2012, tbr-busting-2012, amusing, fraudio, mental-health, library-in-norway, north-americas, too-sexy-for-maiden-aunts, revenge, dragons, fantasy, doo-lally, dog-steals-the-show, dinosaurs, lifestyles-deathstyles, ouch, psychology

RUN! RUN! here comes a monster, his name is Steve and he is as horny (and hungry) as hell.

Mennonite minus blender = Amish.

This is the fishy version of Little Shop of Horrors and the throw-back of Moby Dick and Totem and Taboo. Funnier than Biff IMHO.

3* Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
2* Practical Demonkeeping
4* The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove
TR A Dirty Job

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Feb 25, 2009 bookczuk rated it 4 of 5 stars

Where to start? Where to start?

This book was my maiden dip into Christopher Moore, who should get a Pulitzer for his titles alone! Who can pass up a title like this? I have since moved on to read several other of his books.

Totally improbable, quirky, witty and twisted. My kind of humor.

From the tale of the Bluesman Catfish Jefferson, to poor Steve the Sea Monster, looking for love in all the wrong fuel trucks, to Molly and her narrator, the story just flowed. I loved the way Moorse chose to de...more

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Dec 17, 2012 Michael Grove rated it 4 of 5 stars

Possibly the most low-brow novel I've ever finished, this book will take several points off your IQ. But what can I say, it's a guilty pleasure to read about stoners and sex-crazed dragons.

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Feb 28, 2009 browse rated it 3 of 5 stars

Christopher Moore is the Piers Anthony of this decade.

He has found a comfortable home in romping, playful send-ups in the horror genre. I wouldn't call his books satire; he seems to have too much genuine affection for the field to be that biting. But there is no question the books choose humor over trying to scare the bejeezus out of the reader.

Lust Lizard was perfect beach fare (and yes, I read it during a couple of days in Hawaii). It was light, playful, and silly enough to encourage me to rea...more

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Feb 21, 2009 Yael rated it 5 of 5 stars

Valerie Riordan, the sole psychotherapist in Pine Cove, California, has switched all her patients' antidepressants to placebos -- a reaction to the apparent suicide of Bess Leander, one of her patients, who, Val thought, might have lived had Val done more talk therapy and less drug therapy. As a result, business is booming at The Head of the Slug, the local Blues bar, run by Mavis, whose clients swear that underneath her ancient, wrinkled, liver-spotted skin there lurks the Terminator. Problem:...more Valerie Riordan, the sole psychotherapist in Pine Cove, California, has switched all her patients' antidepressants to placebos -- a reaction to the apparent suicide of Bess Leander, one of her patients, who, Val thought, might have lived had Val done more talk therapy and less drug therapy. As a result, business is booming at The Head of the Slug, the local Blues bar, run by Mavis, whose clients swear that underneath her ancient, wrinkled, liver-spotted skin there lurks the Terminator. Problem: those lonely Blues notes from her new hire, Catfish Jefferson, have attracted the attention of an enormous, 5,000-year-old marine reptile named Steve who has a thing for petroleum tanker trucks.

With the advent of Steve, Pine Cove suddenly turns lustful and is hit by a weird crime wave with no understandable explanation. So Theophilus Crowe, the town constable, must find out what's wrong and what to do about it.

Enter all our other old friends from other novels of Moore's -- Molly Michon, the aging but still-beautiful and deadly Warrior Babe of the Outland (well, she was, until a stupid accident that wasn't her fault left her with a scar that got her canned by the movie studio); Mavis, proprietor of The Head of the Slug (originally named "The Head of the Wolf," but the local Greens decided the name was cruel to animals and forced her to change it); Dr. Val, the aforementioned psychiatrist; H. P., proprietor of H. P.'s Cafe, which features delicious delicacies such as Eggs Sothoth; Skinner, the happy-go-lucky idiot dog belonging to the Food Guy, biologist Gabe Fenton; and numerous others. Enter also some local villians who do meet timely, deserved, and hilarious ends, such as Sheriff John Burton, whose ranch hides a nasty secret, and who has been blackmailing pothead Theophilus Crowe into being the town constable for years; and Joseph Leander, the late Bess Leander's adulterous, murderous husband. With a less-than-together supporting cast of -- well, check them out for yourself.

As one reviewer said, Christopher Moore must have been laughing his head off while writing The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, and likely taking hits of nitrous oxide between sentences. The title alone is worth the price of the book, which could be substituted most successfully for every antidepressant in the pharmacy.

As a bonus, the biomedical and scientific aspects of this novel were researched down to the bare bones by the author. All that is missing from it is a lawsuit by Toho Productions for inappropriate appropriation of their star character (we know who he is!) -- and that may be forthcoming at any time.(less)

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Jul 24, 2012 Donna LaValley rated it 1 of 5 stars

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove followed Christopher Moore’s successful debut novel, Practical Demonkeeping. I don’t know if he was high on his new popularity or high on something else, but this one disappoints, with colorful new characters being the only saving graces.

Still in Pine Cove, California, some of the same characters (and the new ones) again must confront something supernatural, although the giant Sea Beast “lizard” comes from deep in the ocean and has only one non-known animal cha...more The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove followed Christopher Moore’s successful debut novel, Practical Demonkeeping. I don’t know if he was high on his new popularity or high on something else, but this one disappoints, with colorful new characters being the only saving graces.

Still in Pine Cove, California, some of the same characters (and the new ones) again must confront something supernatural, although the giant Sea Beast “lizard” comes from deep in the ocean and has only one non-known animal characteristic: s/he makes all other animal life horny and eager for sex, but more especially if those people are lonely or sad. The color and shape changes of the animal echo those of cephalopods, so that’s a “scientific” supposition. And, of course, this one devours people – but again, all of them are irritating and expendable people.

Theophilus Crowe is the mature male whose point of view is the central one. There is always one such male, almost interchangeably so in each book, with similarly structured names – see Augustus Brine in Practical Demonkeeping. He grows marijuana, enjoys it, sometimes goes without it. He gets the Babe in the end. I enjoyed the new characters Gabe and Catfish, and the return of “Nailgun” or Spider, the internet go-to guy of the local law. The women are mostly vile (especially Mavis).

Sometimes sex between a woman and a beast is just too crude for me, even when -or especially when- it is written for laughs. Another problem I have with this book was inconsistency. For example, 2 guys on a meth lab are eaten by the Sea Beast, and we are told such guard-and-cooker teams are constantly rotating, 24 hours a day. However, when these 2 disappear, the author forgets that the next team would notice.

When I’m reading a book full of sex, odd characters, a crazy plot, revenge, slime, murder, and mayhem, but my mind wanders to “Gee, maybe I ought to pay some bills,” then I know that despite the occasional laugh-out-loud lines, this was a 1-star book.
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Dec 29, 2011 Laurian rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Meg Kurdziolek

Shelves: fantacy

I decided that I needed a really silly book. When in doubt, when you need a really silly book there is probably nobody better to turn to that Moore. His books not only boarder that ridiculous, but make me snort out laughter at a regular pace.

This book is less on plot and more on a series of staggering follies. It involves a prehistoric and DNA-evolving sea monster that rises from the depths of the sea only to descend on a little sea side village during the off season. Perhaps at another time thi...more

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Nov 02, 2011 Algernon rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011

Trouble has come to the tranquil town of Pine Cove on the Pacific Coast. What is the connection between the suicide of a housewife, a radioactive leak from a nuclear powerhouse and the arrival of a Bluesman at the local tavern? Read on and be ready to be scared by "a hideous ancient creature that has arisen from the darkest Stygian depths to wreak havoc on civilization and feast on human flesh". This being a Christopher Moore adventure, be prepared also to laugh at the antics of the wacky popula...more

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Jun 16, 2011 Susanne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Moore returns to the scene of his first hit: the coastal small town of Pine Cove, California, filled with weirdos, hippies, and the occasional nutter. This time, the town is in slightly more distress than usual - mostly because the town psychiatrist has decided to take some twelve hundred patients off their antidepressants; and partly because an ancient 50-feet sea monster has decided to stop by for a while.

It doesn’t improve matters that the sea monster, Steve, has the pre-evolutionary ability...more

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Mar 11, 2011 Daniel Virtue rated it 4 of 5 stars

I just finished reading this, and as I explained to my fiancee last night when I couldn't stop reading it: it does not hold up the qualities that are necessary for me to classify a book a good book; however it is great escapism. The characters are not real. The author does nor reveal anything to me in the telling of the story. He has awareness that he is writing escapism and I like that. He is not your typical escapism writer like James Patterson or John Grisham who turn out one load of crap aft...more

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Dec 02, 2010 Elizabeth rated it 4 of 5 stars

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore (pp. 304)

A pre-historic sea monster is drawn to the sleepy resort town of Pine Cove by a sudden drop in the residents’ usage of prescription anti-depressants. His presence inspires a higher than normal amount of libidos acts amongst the townspeople. The oversexed population also becomes food for the new resident resulting in some mysterous disappearances. Some of the characters and the town were introduced in Moore’s previous novel, Practic...more

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Nov 19, 2009 Kevin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Pine Cove is a cozy little town nestled into the forests of northern California. During vacation season, the town is overrun with tourists. When that season dies down, so does the town. It just becomes your everyday, run-of-the-mill nothing burg. This off-season, however, is different. A suicide has rocked the populace, the town's shrink has decided to conduct an experiment in which she replaces everyone's depression meds with placebos, and a nearby nuclear reactor has sprung a tiny leak. But it...more

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Jun 24, 2009 Thee_ron_clark rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: comedy, action, other-stuff

Christopher Moore spit out another creative, interesting, humorous, and bizarre novel with The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. In this novel, Moore returns us to Pine Cove, the setting of Practical Demonskeeping and The Stupidest Angel. We come across a number of old and familiar characters if you, like me read those first. Gabe Fention, Skinner, Catfish Jefferson, Theophilus Crowe, Vance McNally, Valerie Riordan, Molly Michon, Mavis Sand, Robert Masterson, Jenny Masterson, Irving Nailsworth, Ji...more

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Feb 02, 2013 Marianne rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: borrowed-copy-returned

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove is the second book in the Pine Cove series by American author Christopher Moore. When Theophilus Crowe, the pot-smoking, pot-growing Constable of Pine Cove, CA, is called to a suspected suicide, he is told by the Sheriff to treat it as just that. But before he can act any further, there is a fuel tanker explosion, a missing child and the people of the town begin to act strangely. The occasionally psychotic Molly Michon, ex-scream queen of the B movie silver scr...more

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Feb 17, 2013 Edward Lorn rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: tbr-2013

I've heard many good things about Christopher Moore, but mostly I've heard that I'd love his sense of humor. In life, I take two things seriously: The health and security of my family. Everything else is fair game. If you can riff on religion, politics, sex and the overall human condition, in a thought-provoking, sarcastic manner, you will find a friend in me. For this reason, I would love to just sit down and have a conversation with Moore. I'm sure we'd laugh ourselves stupid.

The Characters: A...more I've heard many good things about Christopher Moore, but mostly I've heard that I'd love his sense of humor. In life, I take two things seriously: The health and security of my family. Everything else is fair game. If you can riff on religion, politics, sex and the overall human condition, in a thought-provoking, sarcastic manner, you will find a friend in me. For this reason, I would love to just sit down and have a conversation with Moore. I'm sure we'd laugh ourselves stupid.

The Characters: A pothead constable, an aging b-movie actress, a psychiatrist, a biologist, a blues man, a painter, a pharmacist with a sexual preference for sea life and a barkeep that's more metal and silicone than human, make up the cast of The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. And those are just the good guys. Somehow, Moore makes each of these people flesh and blood real. I even felt bad for the fish-f***ing druggist. I love well drawn characters, no matter how outlandish, and Moore delivers by the bucket-load.

Now, I didn't read the synopsis of this book because someone warned me that Harper (Moore's publisher) tends to ruin some of the funnier moments with their blurbs, so I went into this book blind, aside from the title of course. When Steve the Sea Beast finds his first lover around page 60, I almost lost my mind laughing. Which brings me to the synopsis. Harper actually covers that scene in the blurb, so I was very happy I skipped the spoiler.

There's far too much going on in this book to cover even a quarter of it here, but I will say Moore is now one of my favorite authors. One of the other warnings I was given before reading this book was that The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove was his most lackluster work to date, so if I enjoyed this book, I'd love his other stuff. We'll see about that. All I know is that I've never laughed so hard while reading. Ever. Period. The last forty pages of this novel had my sides hurting.

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove is a far-fetched, foul-mouthed, filthy-minded pedestrian, walking the streets of the Land of Make Believe. If you like your humor lewd and crude, but interlaced with witty social commentary, you will adore Christopher Moore.

E.(less)

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Mar 31, 2012 Ankur rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012

what do i say abt this book! The title in itself is worthy of a booker (or is it a pulitzer?)

This is the first Christopher Moore that i read, and boy did i luv it! totally freaky, twisted and unexpected with rampant tongue in cheek comments... just the stuff i'd like...

The story has it all - drugs, a porn-star (okie soft-porn), a Godzilla like creature, a couple of luv angles and action of all kinds... and the mix is a laughter riot.

A prehistoric creature comes out of the depths of the ocean in...more

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Apr 17, 2013 Dayle Lynne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fantasy, humor

I haven’t read a Christopher Moore book in a while, so I thought it was time I correct that! The last two Moore books I attempted were Fool and Lamb. I could not get into Fool at all and I’m not sure I’ll even give it another try down the line. Lamb was interesting and funny at times but didn’t really keep my attention (I do plan to give it another go at some point). Because of those two experiences, I’ve really been craving a page-turning, laugh-out-loud Moore experience . . . and that’s exactl...more

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Feb 12, 2012 Pam rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: horror

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Feb 23, 2011 H.N. rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, fantastic, read-in-2011

Quite frankly, I loved this book from beginning to end. It made me laugh out loud in places, and in fact read out loud portions to my fiance. It had an interesting structure, telling the story from multiple viewpoints (including that of a sea monster and a dog), and the writing was tight and strong. It was a fast read, a fun mish-mash of sea creatures, humans (both crazy and not), drugs (both legal and illegal). Two thumbs up.

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Jan 20, 2013 C rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorite-fiction

I love his Pine Cove characters the way I love Terry Pratchett's Night's Watch. :) Theo and Molly are quickly working their way into my favorite characters list (followed by Skinner the Dog). There's something of the unexpected hero in Theo and perhaps an unexpected pragmatist in Molly.

The first book I read of Moore's had the same effect that Monty Python's Holy Grail had on me all those years ago. A sort of bemused wonder at being dragged into suddenly new and unfamiliar territory. I must one d...more

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Aug 13, 2012 Philip rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: humor, audiobooks

I really enjoyed "The Stupidest Angel," and hoped this would be just as good, despite its dumber title. However, the whole book itself was dumber, too, and the story began to seriously drag in it's final chapters. Worse still, however, was that this story "tarnished" some of the characters I had liked the most in Stupid Angel. Molly's craziness this time was more annoying than endearing, and her relationship with "Steve" was more creepy (REALLY creepy) than it was funny. Theo, too, come across a...more

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Dec 25, 2012 Jim rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: general-fiction, mmm-2012, jims-reviews

Christopher Moore is insane. But in a good way.

I read his Love Story trilogy (starting with Bloodsucking Fiends), and thoroughly enjoyed it. I was going to get some Christmas (or Christmas-related) books this December, and decided to pick up The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror. Finding out that it revisits Pine Cove, first written about in this volume, I figured I'd read this first.

And...crazy. Not sure how else to describe his books. A stoned constable, a psychiatrist...more

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Aug 14, 2012 Matthew L. rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: cleverness, fantasy, fiction

Man I really liked this one!

What a treat to return to Pine Cove and have things sneak up on you, though I do wonder what happend to the old dude's statue in the mushroom cave. Did the tide take it out? Only hanging
string from what I could tell . . . oh and maybe Nailsworth. Didn't he go off somewhere and lose weight or am I mis-remembering that. Maybe he came back. Who knows?

Great new characters (Molly and Catfish are delicious) and a fun plot that kind of wiggles and wags and talks about sex, d...more

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Feb 10, 2013 Michael Cordell rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: long-fiction

After reading Chris Moore's "The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror," I had to read this book as well it was an earlier novel of Pine Cove, CA and introduced some of the characters from the former book ... I'm now reading "Island of the Sequined Love Nun" for similar reasons.

Basically, this is a simple tale of a sea monster looking for love and revenge, a frightful combination if there ever was one. Chris somehow makes this whole farce totally believable, but if you look u...more

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Jul 27, 2012 Terresa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Liked it!

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Jan 05, 2011 Heather rated it 4 of 5 stars

Viva la Christopher Moore! The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove is about those wacky residents of Pine Cove, again, coping when a sea dragon named Steve that makes you horny to lure you to it comes to town and starts eating people. Mostly the same folks as were in The Stupidest Angel--Theo Crowe, Val Riordan, Molly Michon, Gabe, Skinner, etc.

First, it was fun to read this one after The Stupidest Angel because it was like getting to read a prequel. Obviously it would work in the other direction--po...more Viva la Christopher Moore! The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove is about those wacky residents of Pine Cove, again, coping when a sea dragon named Steve that makes you horny to lure you to it comes to town and starts eating people. Mostly the same folks as were in The Stupidest Angel--Theo Crowe, Val Riordan, Molly Michon, Gabe, Skinner, etc.

First, it was fun to read this one after The Stupidest Angel because it was like getting to read a prequel. Obviously it would work in the other direction--possibly better. I knew if some characters were featured in that one, they had to have survived this one. But still, it was kinda fun reading these two out of order and then getting the back story on them all later.

Second, I feel like Lust Lizard represents right when Moore really hit his stride. The earlier books, namely his first one, had me a little soured on the Pine Cove community. Not that that one wasn't funny, but I didn't love the lead character in that one and it didn't wrap up right. This revisitation to Pine Cove years later with new main characters hits the spot much better. I like the characters waaaaay better, I like the story better, and mostly this is clearly where he turned the corner into being able to wrap his stories up well.

Moore's dialogue and characterizations are unarguably tremendously wonderful and funny throughout all his work--I think that's just an objective truth. But his ability to weave the threads of the plot together--and particularly devote enough energy to his endings--didn't come together, IMO, until this novel. Then again, I have yet to read Coyote Blue. That one could be amazing. But other than that, I've read everything else before this one, and this to me is the turning point. That is to say, the ending has enough weight and the threads--oh, how he lays little things down that seem to mean nothing (I have been trained by earlier ones that they could easily come to nothing) and instead totally play out and make you realize at the end that he was actually planning it all along. Applause, Mr. Moore. Applause!

I am sad because now I only have Coyote Blue, You Suck, and Bite Me left to read (unless and until he writes new stuff). You Suck and Bite Me are continuations of the Bloodsucking Fiends line, which I liked, but really didn't super love. Maybe the decade between the first and them will make the characters/vampire story ripen. I can only hope. As for Coyote Blue, I can't find a copy of the CD of the audiobook of it (long and boring reason why I don't want the audible version), but one of those seems to be rarer than...well, something very rare. My kingdom for a CD of Coyote Blue!(less)

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May 02, 2011 Marvin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, fantasy

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove is a warm-hearted probe into the meaning of inter-species fornication; Fornication with giant lizards, sea mammals, gas trucks, and a ex-soft porn movie actress in Xena costumes with broad swords. In other words, just another day in Christopher Moore's brain. The author has his brain working over-time in this silly little romp. Maybe a little too silly even for Moore. Yet it remains very funny and entertaining. Moore revives some of his Pine Cove residents incl...more

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Jan 10, 2010 Brandon rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Moore forces the reader to keep track of a ton of characters, but the overall story is engrossing and amusing. For some reason, maybe because I've been watching old episodes of Parks & Recreation, I kept picturing Louis CK as Theo Crowe despite the physical description of the character not being remotely close to matching the comedian. I think it's just easy to picture CK smoking a lot of pot. Moore appears to have a set criteria for the character in his books that revolve around the Califor...more

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Feb 19, 2012 Bobbye Hudspeth rated it 5 of 5 stars

I have to admit I purchased this book based totally on the title. I've found some of the jewels in my collection that way, and this book definitely is going in that category!

I sometimes smile while I'm reading. Occasionally I'll even giggle a polite little giggle. This book offered me one (Ok, a couple!) of the very few actual laugh out loud moments that I've ever gotten from a book. I highly recommend...excellent writing style, outrageous premise and unforgettable characters. There's a monster,...more

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About Christopher Moore

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

Christopher Moore (born 1957 in Toledo, Ohio) is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.

Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters...more

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