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Bloodsucking Fiends (A Love Story #1)

by Christopher Moore (Goodreads Author)

3.9 of 5 stars 3.90 · rating details · 30,736 ratings · 1,578 reviews

Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching neck, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where...more

Paperback, 300 pages

Published June 1st 2004 by HarperCollins (first published September 19th 1995)

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Jun 07, 2012 Jeffrey Keeten rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

C. Thomas Flood lands in the city by the Bay, fresh from the farming fields of Indiana, determined to write a great American novel. He rents a cot from a Chinese entrepreneur named Wong and finds himself living with five other Chinese gentlemen all named Wong as well. The Wongs are excited because they have recently learned that it is legal for two men to marry in San Francisco. Thomas has something they really, really lust for...American citizenship. Needless to say living with five men who lo...more

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Jan 19, 2013 Lance Greenfield Mitchell rated it 5 of 5 stars

Christopher Moore has an amazing imagination. As I read Bloodsucking Fiends and, a while back, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, I kept asking myself, "Where do all his ideas come from?"

This story is both creative and funny. It is different to any other vampire story that you have read, or will ever read, unless somebody plagiarises Moore.

Tommy is the leader of a gang of oddball supermarket shelf-stackers. Jody is a novice vampire. The two of them form what one would n...more Christopher Moore has an amazing imagination. As I read Bloodsucking Fiends and, a while back, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, I kept asking myself, "Where do all his ideas come from?"

This story is both creative and funny. It is different to any other vampire story that you have read, or will ever read, unless somebody plagiarises Moore.

Tommy is the leader of a gang of oddball supermarket shelf-stackers. Jody is a novice vampire. The two of them form what one would normally consider to be an unlikely alliance. But, once I have told you that every event and character in this book is unlikely, you will reconsider.

Tommy and Jody set out on a mission to survive. Murders happen around them throughout their journey. A centuries-old vampire provides elements of tension and extreme danger. The San Francisco police. particarly two contrasting detectives, bungle their way into and through the adventure.

Each of the members of The Animals plays a part, and they are all great fun as well as, like most of the characters in this book, having their dark sides.

I can go no further without mentioning my favourite character in the whole book: The Emperor. This old man is the self-styled Emperor of San Francisco and Protector of Mexico. He is supported by "his men," who turn out to be two dogs equipped to do battle against the "vicious, murdering fiend who has been stalking his City." This guy is respected by everyone, and he becomes Tommy's best friend and ally.

I can't say too much more without spoiling it for you, except that you should watch out for the turtles.

Now you are asking yourself if I am crazy, but I kid you not. There are so many surprises in this book. Now that I have finished, I want to go back and read it all over again. It was that good!

The one negative comment that I would make, is that I don't see this as a love story. The two main characters make use of each other, and they do declare their love for each other, but there is no romance. Perhaps that will come in the next book in the series, You Suck.

Sadly, my to-read shelf is groaning and beckoning me to pick up the next, fresh volume to relieve some of the weight that she carries.

You really MUST make space in your life for Bloodsucking Fiends. Highly recommended. (less)

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May 18, 2013 Michael Cordell rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: long-fiction

OK, so before this, I "eschewed" (he he he) vampire books. I never even read Dracula by Bram Stoker, though it's a classic.

With that said, I decided that I wanted to read all of Chris Moore's books, so I finally started his vampire series (this review is for all three books, which I finished while on vacation).

Loved them all! The storyline is about Tommy Floor, a 19 year-old aspiring writer, who arrives in San Francisco from Indiana, full of dreams and little else, including much in the way of s...more

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Feb 22, 2013 sj rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: yorwtfiw

This was only my second Christopher Moore novel (and ZOMG I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS that are all "OH, YOU MUST READ HIM RIGHT MEOW!") so there was a lot of pressure (even if only in my own mind) on me to enjoy this before I'd even started it.

I LOVED Lamb, mostly because it reminded me a lot of mid-Tom Robbins. This? Not as much.

I mean, it wasn't terrible, and I liked it, but if I had started with this book, I'd be in no hurry to return to his work.

But, FFS, every single time I updated my reading pr...more

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May 30, 2008 L rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: airplane-worthy-quickreads

Sometimes it helps to read a series in order. In the case of Christopher Moore, though, it's not always necessary. I read "You Suck" first, and thoroughly enjoyed it, then went back and read its precursor, "Bloodsucking Fiends." While BF gave context for YS, each stands on its own as a very amusing quick read.

Jody is attacked walking home from work and wakes up the next evening disheveled, under a dumpster, with one burned hand, and with a load of cash in a paper bag. She returns to her apartme...more

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Jun 27, 2008 Anne rated it 2 of 5 stars

I have a hard time paying attention to when books were published and in what order, but Bloodsucking Fiends appears to be the prequel to You Suck and A Dirty Job - both of which I really enjoyed. Bloodsucking Fiends takes place in San Francisco and tells the story of Jody, who has just been turned into a vampire and is trying to come to terms with who she is and what exactly all her powers are. She links up with C. Thomas Flood, a recent transplant to the Bay Area who is looking for a place to l...more

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Jul 28, 2011 Sonny Castro rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites

**ALIW**

This is my first encounter with Christopher Moore and I have been seeing his works as a recommended treat specially for those that want to have a good comic read. I like this book since it has an interesting twist on vampires. I am not a big fan of vampires novels such as "Twilight"...etc but this series is extremely funny and made the vampire novel as human as possible. The characters are funny specially FORD... I can't wait to read the series. For those who want to get a good laugh and...more

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Feb 18, 2009 Cassandra rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: paranormal

I picked this up as my first ever Christopher Moore book. I was thinking it would be a bit of a farse on paranormal stuff. Most of his stuff seems to be like that after looking him up. But it wasn't much of a farse, rather just silly and a bit boring. To be fair I didn't read the whole book. I got to about page 130 before picking up another book.

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Apr 06, 2013 Patrick rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Okay, let's cut right to the chase here.

I discovered Christopher Moore him about two years ago, and since then I'm pretty sure I've either read (or listened to) everything he's written.

I really enjoy his books. They're tightly written, clever, and funny, funny, funny....

How much do I like his writing? Let me put it this way:

Let's say I met Christopher Moore at a convention and instead of being the charming gent I know him to be, he turned out to be a total asshole. A real tunk.

Let's say he...more

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Mar 14, 2013 Marthita rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: adult-books, amazing-couples, favorites, meeh-covers, male-protagonist, own, romance, supernatural, vampires, comedy

- 5 Estrellas -

Después del boom de los vampiros románticos que brillan en el Sol… La sanguijuela de mi niña es un relato en donde los vampiros conservan sus colmillos y se convierten en cenizas con la luz… Con un giro muy cómico y muy MOORE (:

Jody es una chica de 26 años, que una noche mientras caminaba a casa del trabajo es atacada por un vampiro y cuando despierta debajo de un contenedor de basura nota que tiene la mano terriblemente quemada, puede ver las auras cálidas de las personas y tiene...more - 5 Estrellas -

Después del boom de los vampiros románticos que brillan en el Sol… La sanguijuela de mi niña es un relato en donde los vampiros conservan sus colmillos y se convierten en cenizas con la luz… Con un giro muy cómico y muy MOORE (:

Jody es una chica de 26 años, que una noche mientras caminaba a casa del trabajo es atacada por un vampiro y cuando despierta debajo de un contenedor de basura nota que tiene la mano terriblemente quemada, puede ver las auras cálidas de las personas y tiene muchísimas hambre…
Tommy o C. Thomas Flood para sus fanáticos literarios (la C. es un mero seudónimo, que aun no usa del todo ya que no tiene ningún libro publicado) es un chico de 19 años que llega a San Francisco con dos sueños: escribir best sellers y encontrar una novia (no en ese particular orden)...
Cuando estos dos se encuentren en el estacionamiento del almacén donde Tommy trabaja por las noches, Jody vera en el lo que necesita por el momento para sobrevivir: una persona que se mueva libremente en la luz del día y proteja su secreto; y Tommy vera en Jody lo que siempre a soñado: un mujer mayor y muy atractiva que puede partirle el corazón, pero acaba de invitarlo a vivir con ella.
Y cuando se vallan a vivir bajo el mismo techo, Tommy descubrirá la verdadera identidad de Jody, y (no entiendo la facilidad con la que se lo toma) a pesar de eso decide quedarse su lado, porque ambos han comenzado a desarrollar sentimientos muy grandes… sentimiento de amor.
Pero su pequeña Luna de Miel se vera amenazada por los muchos asesinatos que están ocurriendo en la ciudad… Donde todas las victimas tienen el cuello roto y una masiva perdida de sangre.

Lo he dicho, y lo volveré a decir… Me he enamorado de Christopher Moore (: No he leído libros mas divertidos que los de el, y ¡me encantan!
La forma en que se desarrolla la historia y el marco secundario, que serian los asesinatos, se entremezclan muy bien, sin faltar las escenas satíricas y cómicas que aparecen en los momentos menos apropiados (pero me dan demasiada risa!), y aunque me gustaba mas leer las escenas de Tommy y los Animales (no confundir… son personas normales que trabajan con Tommy), las escenas de amor entre Jody y Tommy me parecían muy reales… Me refiero a que ella ya es una mujer de 26 años y el es un adolescente de 19; es cómico ver como la madurez de ambos los pone en situaciones divertidas.
Los personajes están bien desarrollados y algunos secundarios que aparecieron en “Un Trabajo muy Sucio” se desarrollan también en esta historia (: Me sigue encantando el Emperador, que también es el protector de México, y sus pequeños amiguitos peludos.
Hay una que otra pelea, escenas muy… candentes, como diría mi mama (: y un final que deja dos o tres cabos sueltos para seguir con la continuación “¡Chúpate esa!” que ya quiero leer (:(less)

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Jan 21, 2013 Matthew rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: satire

Hello. My name is Jody and I'm a Bloodsucking Fiend.

She doesn't actually say that in the book, but she does go to a meeting of Bloodsucker's Anonymous where people do say that. That's where the title of the book comes from and that's what this book is like.

It is a fun Christopher Moore book, set in San Francisco and with The Emperor, a crazy homeless man whom everyone knows and likes and who believes himself responsible for the City. I read A Dirty Job first, and I think A Dirty Job was a more f...more

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Jan 07, 2013 Marcie rated it 2 of 5 stars

The interesting thing about this book is how clearly it illustrates the evolution of a writer and his novel-crafting skill. This is NOT the same guy who later wrote Lamb or Angel or Dirty Job…

I looked it up: this was his 3rd (1995) of 13 published works. I had experienced Numbers 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 11. Lamb, Angel, Dirty Job, Fool, Lust Lizard, Fluke, all meet and exceed the challenge of using seriously unfunny subjects (religion, death, Shakespeare, mental illness, science) by a Master of Humor...more The interesting thing about this book is how clearly it illustrates the evolution of a writer and his novel-crafting skill. This is NOT the same guy who later wrote Lamb or Angel or Dirty Job…

I looked it up: this was his 3rd (1995) of 13 published works. I had experienced Numbers 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 11. Lamb, Angel, Dirty Job, Fool, Lust Lizard, Fluke, all meet and exceed the challenge of using seriously unfunny subjects (religion, death, Shakespeare, mental illness, science) by a Master of Humor. So, what’s up with these other, three Vampire novels (Fiends, You Suck, Bite Me)…maybe the two sequels written later in his career will be more masterful.

Specifically, the problems with Fiends are:
1. Pronoun Clarity: “He” who? Which he? Who in the hell is Moore talking about??
2. Clueless Metaphors: No clues in the prose left me sometimes scratching my head, you know, like reading an Emily Dickinson poem. I remember having to read “It Sifts from Leaden Sieves” in high school and being pissed when the teacher explained Emily was talking about snow. Geez. Could we be more cryptic? I had finished the book and was glancing through the “Book Club Questions” in the back when I finally understood the “Pyramid” was the building in which Jody worked. I was really confused in the beginning scene with an Emperor and a Pyramid…it soon becomes clear that the Emperor is a street bum, but the Pyramid I never got. At first I thought the Emperor might be how the Vampire refers to himself. Confusion!!! Arggggh!
3. The humor with the Animals (night crew at the Safeway grocery store) is so strained…Moore is trying too hard to be wild and waaaaacky! It feels forced, juvenile, desperate. The pacing is clunky as we go around the room and each Animal character mouths his jokey one-liner contribution to the scene. I don't want to see or feel the mechanisms behind the beautiful curtains, you know.
4. The characterization, relationship between, and dialogue of the two homicide detective partners feels trite, stereotypical, nothing fresh here!

I read that he felt he was writing a 3-act screenplay that would be easily adapted into a Hollywood vampire comedy film. Blech. That much is apparent.
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Sep 30, 2012 Nicole rated it 2 of 5 stars

My vampire kick is insatiable, I eagerly bite in to books that feature these bloodsuckers and particularly like a dash of romance to spice it up. However, this one just left me feeling drained.

Moore is witty (as always) but I really disliked the main character, Jody. She was a whiny, dependent woman who was transformed into a whiny, dependent vampire*. Strike one. Tommy was a pouty, naive, irritating man who's mood-swings drove me insane. Strike two. The story was sluggish, moving forward in ver...more

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Jul 27, 2012 Shelton TRL rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fantasy

Fast-paced. Funny; offbeat. Witty.

A funny and odd vampire love story, this book follows the developing romance between Tommy,a barely adult wannabe writer, and Jody, a newly minted vampire, in the great city of San Francisco. The vampire who turned Jody courts her by leaving corpses where she'll find them while an HIV-positive friend of Tommy figures out what Jody is. Some serious moments but overall irrevent and highly entertaining.

I recommend this book for anyone who enjoys Don't Talk Back To ...more

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Jun 16, 2012 Patrick rated it 3 of 5 stars

A nice little vampire love story. I wasn't blown away by this early work of Moore's, but it was enjoyable. I don't really have many complaints, a light enjoyable story with some great characters. Jody makes an awesome vampire, and it was fun reading the book learning all the tricks of the trade as she learns them. (Although, I would call it kind of lame that she was able to pick up so much from her creator in just a night. But, in the interest of the story, I guess that is ok.) I found the endin...more

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Apr 27, 2012 Marsha rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: literature-fiction, humor, romance, supernatural, series-entry

Mr. Moore explores the various facets of vampirism, touching on some familiar ground while also taking into account things we may never have considered. Do vampires get lonely? Do they need to suck blood every night or can they take a break? If a vampire can see in the dark, doesn’t sweat and can’t eat food, does that really cut down on utility and food bills? And who gets to take care of the laundry, anyway?

All these burning questions and more get answered in Mr. Moore’s lip-stretching novel a...more

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Apr 25, 2012 Nicholas Karpuk rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I saw Christopher Moore give a talk at the Tattered Cover recently, and having only read Fluke, I didn't really grasp the nature of his audience. The crowd easily tripled the normal quantity of attendees for that sort of event. His talk resembled a odd sort of stand up comedy routine, and every joke exploded through the room from the uproarious laughter.

For me I'd say a joke hit home about 1 out of every 3 times. His humor is consistently rather broad, he has the demeanor of a elementary school...more I saw Christopher Moore give a talk at the Tattered Cover recently, and having only read Fluke, I didn't really grasp the nature of his audience. The crowd easily tripled the normal quantity of attendees for that sort of event. His talk resembled a odd sort of stand up comedy routine, and every joke exploded through the room from the uproarious laughter.

For me I'd say a joke hit home about 1 out of every 3 times. His humor is consistently rather broad, he has the demeanor of a elementary school class clown who watched a lot of comedy specials on television. There are exchanges like this:

...but I've lost a big part of my life. Like French fries. I miss eating French fries. I'm Irish, you know. Ever since the Great Potato Famine my people get nervous if they don't eat French fries every few days. Did you ever think about that?"

Oh ho. Irish people. I can almost feel someone elbowing me with an "eh? EH?" expression.

The main thing I can say is it never seemed particular mean or spiteful when he was clearly aiming for edgy. That's part of his staying power. Even with passages like this that seem to be trying to really go for broke:

"She'll rip out your throat and drink your blood as you die. Is that what you want?"

Hair Plugs shook his head violently. "No, I already have an ex-wife."

I read that part an actually whispered, "Hochachachacha." Eesh.

The other part is the attempt at appearing to be an edgy outsider, sort of an Eddie Izzard type of effect. Izzard employs jokes involving things you should have learned in 6th grade history class, but people pat themselves on the back for understanding his references as they laugh. Many people I overheard at the Moore signing seemed very proud of themselves for being into such a different writer, despite the crowd attesting to it being kinda sorta maybe just a little mainstream.

But people thinking what they consume is a statement about who they are is probably a larger topic.

At any rate, the other part of his success really does come from the readability. The writing style is utterly basically, almost leaden, but he maintains an excitement about the premise that damned infectious. So despite the cheesy jokes and the broad stabs at irony (the big burly detective is gay?! FOR REALZ?! Crazy!) it still kept me reading. Hell, I might read another of his, that's how good his pacing is.

But god how I wish I could get an edition with a big chunk of the jokes redacted.(less)

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Mar 25, 2012 OpenBookSociety.com rated it 2 of 5 stars

Review brought to you by OBS staff member Heidi

Beware of spoilers

Jody was attacked on her way home from work one night and woke up underneath a dumpster and found that she had been changed into a vampire. She goes home to her boyfriend, Kurt, who didn’t understand. She ends up clocking him with a pot, knocking him out and feeding off of him. She managed to leave him alive, but she didn’t think he’d be too happy with her, so she left.

She quickly discovers that she needs help; there are just too m...more Review brought to you by OBS staff member Heidi

Beware of spoilers

Jody was attacked on her way home from work one night and woke up underneath a dumpster and found that she had been changed into a vampire. She goes home to her boyfriend, Kurt, who didn’t understand. She ends up clocking him with a pot, knocking him out and feeding off of him. She managed to leave him alive, but she didn’t think he’d be too happy with her, so she left.

She quickly discovers that she needs help; there are just too many things that she needs done in the daytime, which she can no longer do. She finds a solution to her problem when she finds Tommy and makes him her new boyfriend. She gives him all her daytime to do lists and has him find an apartment for them to share.

But the vampire that turned her likes to make everything into a game and starts killing people and leaving their drained and broken bodies near them and the cops are getting suspicious.

They eventually arrest Tommy after finding a couple bodies in their freezer. And Jody does the only thing she can do to clear his name, kill somebody the same way the other vampire has been killing his victims, while he’s in jail.

The vampire lets Jody know that the end is near. She isn’t sure if he’s planning to kill Tommy, her, or both of them. But one thing is clear; they have to kill him before he can kill them! Tommy gathers up all the troops he can and goes on a vampire hunt.

When I read the synopsis of this book, it didn’t sound good to me at all. But once I started reading it I did start enjoying it. I found it to be pretty funny, and not your typical vampire book. But the humor does tend to be a little on the crude side and isn’t for everyone. I was also surprised how much Tommy talks about Anne Rice’s Lestat, since the book I read before this was Interview with the vampire.

And my toddler loved pretending to drink out of the glass on the cover, of Bloodsucking Fiends.

I didn’t really care for how this book ended though. I felt it lost the humor that the rest of the book had attracted me with. In my opinion, that really took it from being a good book down to just being OK. But this is quite the little quirky book and is a quick read if you have some free time.

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Feb 29, 2012 Josh Taylor rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Fans of Douglas Adams

Shelves: urban-fantasy, comedy

This book was an interesting read, for a few reasons. Also, note that this was the first Christopher Moore novel that I have read.

First of all, I am not a huge fan of the romance aspect of the urban fantasy genre (with a few exceptions). The "romance" in this novel was well thought out and did not take away from the overall plot. Yes the series is "A Love Story", however, the overall plot is about the love story, and not the romance itself.

This novel was a novel approach (pun intended) on the w...more

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Aug 03, 2011 Enrique028 rated it 2 of 5 stars

Not quite bad but not quite good as equally bad. The story drags a bit and the resolution is to say the least fast and a bit confusing. Not sure if it is because there would be a second book on tis story? Hope not as there arent any iteresting characters or anything new added to the Vampire Myth. Would I read anything related to this story again? No. Would I read Christopher Moore again? Doubt it.His storytelling style is quite inconsistent and shallow and the characterisation, at least in this...more

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Jun 18, 2011 Michelle R. rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: humor, vampire

"It's not like I came to the City saying, "Oh, I can't wait to find a woman whose only joy in life is sucking out my bodily fluids.' Okay, well maybe I did, but I didn't mean this."

This is not my first experience with Christopher Moore. I loved A Dirty Job, and wrote up a review on it, but it never posted and I never rewrote it. Loved Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. I read part of Fool as part of a self-designed plan to really understand King Lear from different angle...more "It's not like I came to the City saying, "Oh, I can't wait to find a woman whose only joy in life is sucking out my bodily fluids.' Okay, well maybe I did, but I didn't mean this."

This is not my first experience with Christopher Moore. I loved A Dirty Job, and wrote up a review on it, but it never posted and I never rewrote it. Loved Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. I read part of Fool as part of a self-designed plan to really understand King Lear from different angles -- the play, different performances, the Moore book -- then I cleaned and now I can't find anything.

Anyhow...

Moore has a very definite outlook and it's pretty funny. People who read him are always talking about him as a great humor writer, but his strength is writing about how humor battles sadness, copes with tragedy, keeps people going. The moments when the books are just serious are pretty rare, but his topics even in his funniest books are deeper than they seem.

Flood in dealing with his girlfriend being a vampire reads a lot of books, most of them fiction, although he's sure that Stoker or Rice must have known a real vampire or two. The Vampire Lestat is mentioned often and that book and this one don't seem all that similar. However, TVL was largely about loneliness, of losing loved ones and everything falling to ruin around you -- at least that's what I got from it when I was sixteen ::grin:: -- and this becomes one of Jodie's sources of angst too. She loves Tommy (Flood), but she can't share with him the way the world is for her now, because there are no words for it. Tommy wants to share his world with her too, but there never seems to be time, and there are so many barriers. Only Moore makes you laugh when he's sharing this in a way that Rice never does, at least not intentionally. :)

I read Moore and am torn between laughter and queasiness, because some pretty grim events happen but the quips don't stop. I guess I'd like to see what he'd be like with 30% of the humor dialed back, just out of curiosity, but I think that says something about the way I handle the things Moore tackles with humor. A book as a Rorschach.

Moore's best characters are lovable, er, rear holes. Good people saying weirdly inappropriate things and occasionally being pretty dumb in strangely realistic ways. See Flood's plan to stick Jodie in a freezer and how that all worked out -- but it makes a strange bit of dumb sense and anyone spending time around other people or even with an understanding of self can see how most of the crazy choices happen. I think that's one of the author's strengths -- the acknowledgment that fairly smart people do crazy things as opposed to intelligent people in books usually benefiting from the calm mind of the author as God. No, Moore's characters are just allowed to make bad decisions or not think things through. I always get the impression Moore likes people -- maybe not big crowds of them, but the individual quirks.

Anyhow, all of this is a disjointed way of saying Moore is a writer that readers gush about and recommend for a reason. I've started the sequel, You Suck but one of my preorders showed up and is taking precedence. Besides, good authors are the ones you want to savor. :)
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Jun 16, 2011 Sara Richards rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: own

I bought this book after I bought "Bite Me," the 3rd book in the series. I saw it in a magazine and wanted to check it out, unfortunately the magazine didn't tell me there were 2 more before, and I didn't think to check into it. So after purchasing "Bite Me," I went out and bought "Bloodsucking Fiends." I thought it would be a nice twist on the supernatural genre.
"Bloodsucking Fiends" had it's moments, I admit, I laughed a few times, but the author was so focused on the comedy that the story fel...more

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Apr 08, 2011 Amy rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: vampires-snore

I should admit upfront that I'm suffering from a severe case of vampire fatigue; that, coupled with disdain for Christopher Moore based on the only other book of his that I read, means that there really was no chance in the world that I was going to enjoy this book, and in fact should never have read it. However, it was this month's book club selection, so read it I did and now we all must suffer the consequences.

Bloodsucking Fiends is the story of several unlikable characters, some of whom are...more I should admit upfront that I'm suffering from a severe case of vampire fatigue; that, coupled with disdain for Christopher Moore based on the only other book of his that I read, means that there really was no chance in the world that I was going to enjoy this book, and in fact should never have read it. However, it was this month's book club selection, so read it I did and now we all must suffer the consequences.

Bloodsucking Fiends is the story of several unlikable characters, some of whom are vampires, some of whom are idiots, and one based on an actual historical personage, although that connection is never mentioned so you might spend the entire book wondering if he's supposed to be immortal too, and you'll definitely spend the end of the book wondering why, since he was the only character who was even a little bit likeable, his final scene had to be so particularly shitty. What, you may be wondering, was the point of that?

As near as I can tell, there wasn't a point. While Christopher Moore strikes me as the type of author more interested in making a point than in telling a story - hence the abrupt and contrived endings of the stories that I read - whatever point he was making back in 1995, when this book was written, is really no longer relevant. For having been written only 15 years ago or so, this book is incredibly dated.

Which, oddly enough, makes me feel old and humorless. Because I really wonder, if I read this book when it was originally published, would I have liked it? I may very well have. There are a lot of places in the book where the author revels in his own cleverness, and I, as an irritating youngster, would have delighted so much in recognizing them that I might have overlooked entirely that there's basically a giant neon sign hanging over several parts of the book proclaiming Look At How Clever I Am! and that it didn't take much to be in on the joke.

Granted, that might have been flown back in 1995. But you can't just pat yourself on the back like that anymore. If you're going to make a big fucking deal about how clever you are, you've got to also acknowledge that said BFD is being made by you, then admit that it's pretty lame to make such a BFD about anything at all, much less something so lame as yourself, before finally settling on the idea that embracing your own lameness actually makes you awesome after all. It's 2011, and if you can't be genuine, you've got to wrap yourself in at least 5 layers of irony if you want to avoid an eye-roll from the audience.

"You just don't get it," the me from 1995 would say if she could hear me talking like this (I don't think it'd be a good idea to try to explain the internet to her; that wouldn't stick), and the thing is, she's basically right - I don't get it. Because, with age has come the wisdom that sometimes, as in the case of Bloodsucking Fiends, there's just nothing to get.

(It should be acknowledged that it was very bold to write a book in 1995 that had so many major plots that openly discussed AIDs. Science, research and public understanding have made these issues not age so well either, but instead of allowing them to detract from the book, let's just be glad that HIV is no longer thought of as an immediate death sentence, that sick people are not just wandering around the city looking for a gentle way to day; but still recognize that we've still got a long way to go).(less)

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Mar 09, 2011 Pamela rated it 5 of 5 stars

Excellent book.
I have never ever ever ever been interested in vampires. But this book is hilarious. It is actually quite believable. It takes place in San Francisco, so it is great to read about areas I am familiar with.
Jody wakes up in a dumpster in the Tenderloin (ahh!) to find herself changed into a vampire. She is having a terrible time adjusting to her new life; she can't go to work, she can't go to the bank, she can't go shopping, etc. She decides she needs a minion to help her while she...more

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Mar 09, 2011 Sarah BT rated it 4 of 5 stars

I picked this one up thanks to my upcoming adult lit class this semester. This novel counted as one of my "horror" picks and since that's a genre I tend to shy away from, I figured I could use something that had horror aspects, but still had some humor.

I've never read any Christopher Moore's books, even though I've been told to by several co-workers, and I have to admit I should have listened to them earlier. There were many laugh out loud moments in Bloodsucking Fiends and I was thoroughly engr...more

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Oct 11, 2010 Mrs. Foley rated it 4 of 5 stars

Not your typical vampire book! But, it is your typical Christopher Moore book (if there is such a thing!). Humorous look at the world of vampires and night-shift grocers. I picked it up as it is a part of our Faculty Book Group's "Spooked" theme for our October discussion. It is the first in a series of books and I do think I am now interested enough in the characters to read the sequel, You Suck, and maybe even the third in the series, Bite Me. (Gotta love those titles!)

Review from Library Jour...more

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Jun 04, 2010 Emily rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed-books

Christopher Moore is one of my favorite authors. I love the irreverent humor and wacky story elements in all of his books (Island of the Sequined Love Nun is my favorite so far.) Bloodsucking Fiends is actually a reread for me, as I'd read it a few years ago, but between that reading and this one, I discovered paranormal romance and urban fantasy.

My friends, the results of combining these things is HILARIOUS. One of the best things about reading widely in one specific genre is noticing the commo...more Christopher Moore is one of my favorite authors. I love the irreverent humor and wacky story elements in all of his books (Island of the Sequined Love Nun is my favorite so far.) Bloodsucking Fiends is actually a reread for me, as I'd read it a few years ago, but between that reading and this one, I discovered paranormal romance and urban fantasy.

My friends, the results of combining these things is HILARIOUS. One of the best things about reading widely in one specific genre is noticing the common elements, themes, "facts," and other things that run throughout many of the books. Bloodsucking Fiends takes the beloved vampire genre, swirls it around in the blender, and serves it cold with a double shot of tequila.

Jody is probably the most unlikely candidate for being made a vampire on the face of the planet, bar none. She's twenty six, working as an insurance claims representative and hating every minute of it, and trying to convince herself that her loser boyfriend Kurt is something other than a loser. All that changes when she gets konked on the head, bitten, and left in a dumpster. She wakes up extra crispy (having been left out in the sun, natch) and a vampire, with a satchel full of money. Turns out her vampire sire has a bit of a playful streak, if sociopathy happens to be your thing. She immediately sets out trying to start a new life for herself, which, when you can't get around during the day, is more trouble than it seems.

Tommy, or C. Thomas Flood (since that sounds way cooler as a pen name) is fresh off the bus from Indiana and hoping to make it as a writer in San Francisco. When it becomes apparent that that goal is going to take some time to achieve, he takes a job as the night manager at a grocery store, where he meets the night crew, appropriately named the Animals. In an almost accidental meeting, Jody asks him if he'd like to move in with her and do some things for her, which Tommy naturally interprets the way you'd think he would.

Much of the book is spent with Tommy and Jody trying to find out just what Jody can do now that she's a vampire. All manner of titans of vampire literature have cameos here, although as it turns out, most of that stuff is made up! As Tommy and Jody try to figure out their relationship, hid Jody's undead status from Tommy's coworkers, catch the vampire who happens to be running around killing people all over San Francisco, and remaining the store champion at turkey bowling (which is exactly what it sounds like,) these two have their hands full indeed.

What makes the story work, for me, are the linguistic acrobatics and sleights-of-hand that pepper every page. Words that are not funny normally are hilarious when paired together, just so, with other words, and of that Mr. Moore is indeed a master:

"She had a lot of nerve signing her note "Love." [...:] But she did sign it that way: "Love." What did that mean? Did she mean it, or was it habit? She probably signed all of her letters with "Love."

Dear Insured,
We are sorry but your policy will not pay for your barium enema as it was done for recreational purposes.
Love, Jody. Claims Dept...

Maybe not."

The entire book is one big quotable quote, and I could literally go on and on from that point. This book is an excellent tonic for an overdose of PNR, or overdramatic horror novels, or just when you need a good laugh.

Overall Grade: A

Check out more reviews at What Book is That?(less)

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May 29, 2010 Dox rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2010

One night, Jody is attacked and wakes up a vampires. Once she realizes what she is, she realizes she needs a human to help her with daylight hour things, which is where her new boyfriend wannabe-writter C. Thomas Flood comes in. Meanwhile, the vampire that made her is playing a frightening game of leaving dead bodies on Jody's doorstep, and the police are getting very interested.

Generally, this is a fun book. It has some cute moments, some funny moments, some odd ball moments. It has enough ref...more One night, Jody is attacked and wakes up a vampires. Once she realizes what she is, she realizes she needs a human to help her with daylight hour things, which is where her new boyfriend wannabe-writter C. Thomas Flood comes in. Meanwhile, the vampire that made her is playing a frightening game of leaving dead bodies on Jody's doorstep, and the police are getting very interested.

Generally, this is a fun book. It has some cute moments, some funny moments, some odd ball moments. It has enough references to keep a well-versed person eyeballing things, and enough wacky tidbits here and there to mark it more in the humor arena than any other category. It has some interesting characters (the two cops were the best), and some really not so interesting characters.

I was generally disappointed in Jody, the main character. She was generally flat, with tropes and cliches for personsonality rather than there actually being anything truly interesting about her. The vampire that made her to begin the story keeps going on about how she's so different, but this is not followed up upon in any sort of interesting way. In fact, I'd say as a female reader, I was a bit insulted. Jody was the only major female character in the whole book, she's squeezing herself into a size 3 when normally she's a size 5 (it's a high end dress, perhaps hence the less common numbers), she's got gorgeous red hair, flawless skin, etcetera, and so on.

As a fantasy/sci-fi action adventure story, it's a quick read, and quite entertaining. There's nothing ground breaking in the vampire genre, or the romance genre, but it should hold your attention if you were on the beach. I probably wouldn't go back to find the sequel(s), though, even if I knew I had a beach vacation coming up soon.

The narrative style was often sparse and then too descriptive, depending on what sort of thing was being focused on. Conversations were generally truncated, and somewhat more like real life ones, enough so that they could sometimes be hard to follow. The "zingy" nature of the narrative worked okay since it was a humorous novel, but beginning the book is a bit of a bog until the characters and setting resolve themselves enough to be more solid in the readers' mind.

(less)

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May 14, 2010 Jennifer rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorite, humor

2 Words that describe the book: Vampire comedy

3 Settings where it took place or characters you met:

* Setting: Modern-day San Francisco

* Jody—A fledgling vampire who had her new lifestyle thrust upon her with no warning or choice, Jody is trying her best to make sense of her new undead lifestyle. But getting used to a life lived solely at night can make things a little tricky, so Jody needs a minion to do her bidding, which is where...

* C. Thomas Flood comes in. A wannabe writer from Incontinence...more

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Dec 07, 2012 Brittany rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I finished Bloodsucking Fiends ridiculously quickly considering I'm supposed to be final writing papers! Obviously it was hilarious (and exactly what I needed in the midst of end of semester craziness.) I was incredibly entertained the whole time. I didn't really realize how attached to the characters I had gotten until they killed Simon... I thought I didn't even like him that much aside from a random chuckle but his death scene was so sad and unexpectedly moving. I'd already felt a bit of that...more I finished Bloodsucking Fiends ridiculously quickly considering I'm supposed to be final writing papers! Obviously it was hilarious (and exactly what I needed in the midst of end of semester craziness.) I was incredibly entertained the whole time. I didn't really realize how attached to the characters I had gotten until they killed Simon... I thought I didn't even like him that much aside from a random chuckle but his death scene was so sad and unexpectedly moving. I'd already felt a bit of that from his story when we found out he couldn't read but that end was pretty heartbreaking. Then I realized that the whole time I was laughing I was actually getting pretty attached to these guys, which is a pretty complimentary statement to Moore.

I admit that there were a few moments when my feminist theory training rebelled (Jody goes and buys a bunch of stuff at Macy's to make herself feel better? Oh come onnnn) but it wasn't too bad. It's definitely more of a guy's humor kind of book though… not quite as classy as, say, Douglas Adams, but so funny you don't really care.

I found myself buying the next one as soon as I read the last line and I'm quite looking forward to Tommy being a vampire, I'm hoping it will bring a new layer to his and Jody's relationship. That was probably the only thing that bugged me a bit - overall their relationship was kind of flat for me (do they actually love or even like each other? I'm not really sure? I mean, granted, Tommy's now perpetually a horny, immature 19 year old so I'm not sure it's even really possible but give me *something* here) but the rest of it made up for that. I mean, I know that wasn't the point and I definitely wasn't looking for emo-vampire angstomgloveyouforever stuff here but I feel like their connection needs to get deeper for me to fully invest in them. I think probably Tommy being a vampire will help with that in the next book?

Final thought - the Emperor is amazing and had better not die in any subsequent books. His dogs either. Absolutely brilliant character. (less)

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About Christopher Moore

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

Christopher Moore (born 1957 in Toledo, Ohio) is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.

Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters...more

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