You Suck: A Love Story

published	2007 by William Morrow
binding	Hardcover
isbn	0060590297 (isbn13: 9780060590291)
pages	336
description	"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!" Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks. Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody—the woman of his dreams—is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too. ...more [close] "You bitch, you killed me. You suck!" Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks. Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody—the woman of his dreams—is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs to learn on his own). Plus there's Tommy's cute new minion, sixteen-year-old goth girl Abby Normal. (Well, someone has to run errands during daylight hours!) Making the relationship work, however, is the least of Jody and Tommy's problems. Word has it that the vampire who nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting any new members into the club. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue. And that really sucks.
date added	01-10-07 edit book

find at: Amazon | Half.com | Barnes & Noble | Abebooks | more...

discuss this book

There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »

groups with this book

friend reviews (0)

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

other reviews (showing 1-20 of 2887)

Kelli rated it:

01/14/08

Read in March, 2007

Get out the garlic--it’s yet another vampire tale! I’m not sure who to blame for the vampire and zombie stories proliferating like bunnies on a hot August afternoon, but when I find out and slap them, I’ll hold back--just a touch--for this one. Thankfully, this book didn’t take itself seriously, was wont to include posers in leather, pleather or otherwise, and left the sulking, weak-willed super beings behind. Instead, this tongue-in-cheek story injects a touch of humor into the overd...more Get out the garlic--it’s yet another vampire tale! I’m not sure who to blame for the vampire and zombie stories proliferating like bunnies on a hot August afternoon, but when I find out and slap them, I’ll hold back--just a touch--for this one. Thankfully, this book didn’t take itself seriously, was wont to include posers in leather, pleather or otherwise, and left the sulking, weak-willed super beings behind. Instead, this tongue-in-cheek story injects a touch of humor into the overdone subgenre and reminds you that vampires can, yes, be fun. Thank Bob!

Great characters, especially the lone wannabe Goth girl who is really a geeky little sweetheart in disguise, Abby. Abby Normal that is. Everyone in this is either there for comic relief or playing the part of the straight man to the comedian and are all worthy, rather than when you find characters in books that you could just skip because they do nothing to further anything or anyone else around them. Nice surprise. The story is Dracula on crack meets Abbot and Costello. Opening dialogue includes such tidbits as, after learning that his girlfriend turned him into a blood-sucking fiend, “You shouldn’t just kill a guy without asking. It’s inconsiderate.” Atmosphere is big city, little apartment and everything in between. You grimace at the blood-laced coffee but completely understand the craving and accept it. You can smell the scorched skin and the stinky homeless guy with the really big cat. And even during the more violent scenes, you’re still giggling at the entire idea of it.

Pace is completely dependant on the characters rather than the story itself. Alternating viewpoints move you along while tickling your funny bone and letting you know that everyone has a different idea of what happened and how. The chapters controlled by Abby Normal would be 180 degrees different if we heard another version, and knowing that makes it all the more fun. Style is key to everything in here. Perfectly written for the character of the moment, you don’t think of a big eye in the sky controlling everything below, but rather, read it as if each of these characters was telling you in their own words what happened. Hell, he even made fun of writer wannabes using the word “miasma” and I became an instant fan for life!

I don’t get to read horror-comedy often, but I do enjoy it when done right. Gil's All Fright Diner, by A Lee Martinez, was an amazing giggle at our genre--probably my favorite, and this one is a damn close second. I’ll give it a 4 . Go ahead and get it by clicking on that link below. Just don’t be surprised if people stare at you as you snicker on the subway…

...................
Originally posted on Horror-Web
...less

Like this review? yes (2 people liked it)

add a comment

Chris rated it:

01/24/08

recommends it for: Christopher Moore fans

I was expecting more from this book since Moore wrote it after Dirty Job. But, where Dirty Job was nicely crafted, well-paced, and original, You Suck was not quite the same. It is certainly an original take on a story that's been told over and over again. Vampires are not original but Moore does add some nice texture and moral complexity to the creatures. Unfortunately, I found the pacing awkward.

Moore switches back and forth from third person narrative to first person through the conc...more I was expecting more from this book since Moore wrote it after Dirty Job. But, where Dirty Job was nicely crafted, well-paced, and original, You Suck was not quite the same. It is certainly an original take on a story that's been told over and over again. Vampires are not original but Moore does add some nice texture and moral complexity to the creatures. Unfortunately, I found the pacing awkward.

Moore switches back and forth from third person narrative to first person through the conceit of having one of the characters write in a diary. For me, it ruined the flow of the third person narrative. Just as some of the scenes would get to the climax, Moore goes into diary mode and describes the scene as a past event. The effect was interesting the first time, curious the second, and, ultimately, annoying. That being said, the diary sections are pretty humorous. All things considered, it is a fun, entertaining, and quick read.

Note to Christopher Moore: What is the deal with "palming" doors shut? Is it like some secret game to see how many novels you can put it in? Why? Personally, I was it over by the second time it appeared in Diry Job, but then I saw it in Island of the Sequined Love Nun, You Suck, Blood Sucking Fiends, Lamb, and Fluke. Though it is entirely possible that by the time I got to Fluke I was just seeing things. You know, like those pschology tests where your brain fills in the parts that are missing.

Also, I like you as a writer. You take some risks with style and convention that I think pay off nicely. With Dirty Job, I felt like you'd finally hit your stride. You Suck seemed like either you wrote it before Dirty Job and just didn't get it published right away or you'd spent too much time with the Animals turkey bowling and then had to cram to make deadline. Anyway, please don't go all Tom Clancy/Ann Rice on us. You know, write a great story, write another great story, keep repeatedly writing the same once great, now tired story over and over and over....less

Like this review? yes

add a comment

Jesse rated it:

07/11/07

Read in February, 2007

recommends it for: Fans of Buffy, fans of Terry Pratchett, those with strange senses of humor

I'm going to try to write this with out gushing about this author, but I can't make any promises.

Is this the most real book I've ever read? Yes, in so much as people are all strange inside. Even the most normal people have weirdness in them, and so this books cast of slackers, screw-ups, Otaku(I think thats the word for Fanboys, but I could be wrong), vampires (ancient and young), Goths (all posers, cause come on...where were they when rome was being sacked?), and all the rest; this cast j...more

Like this review? yes (1 person liked it)

add a comment

Aaron rated it:

01/29/08

Read in January, 2008

recommends it for: Ex-Goths living in SF (most of my friends?)

A hugely entertaining lightweight page turner about modern day vampires living in SF. A cast of very likable characters kept me thoroughly captivated. This is especially true of one Abby Normal, 16 year old goth girl, minion to The Vampire Flood, and part time narrator through her diary entries like this:

Chapter 16: Being the Chronicles of One Abby Normal, Completely Fucked Servant of The Vampire Flood.

OMFG! W00T!! I have failed. Left my duty undone, like so much dog poop on the bloo...more

Like this review? yes (1 person liked it)
add a comment

Grant rated it:

04/30/08

Read in April, 2008

You Suck takes the ages old vampire and it's folkloric characteristics into a new light. Following the newly turned Thomas Flood and his vampire lover Jody through the realities of being a 21st century vampire. Passing out at sunrise,curving the hunger for blood, and dealing with a five hundred year old vampire sealed into a bronze statue are just some of the trials that this undead couple must resolve.

Christopher Moores introduces a ses pool of detailed characters that all ...more

Like this review? yes
1 comments

Jeff rated it:

07/11/07

bookshelves: fiction

There are many distinct umbrages I would like to take with Christopher Moore in general and this book in particular. However, I realize the problem here is more with me than it is with Moore. Like most of his work, "You Suck" is an outlandish, mildly entertaining story within a story that references previous books and resurrects old characters. Unfortunately, I simply do not have the ability to retain much of what Moore writes in my head for more than a few minutes. I finished reading ...more

Like this review? yes
2 comments

Mike rated it:

01/06/08

Read in January, 2007

I started this book at about 10pm last night. I was reading about Tommy and Jody’s strange lil slice of San Francisco until 2am or so. I woke up this morning at 930ish and had the book in my hands by 945. Now here I am telling you to read this book. I haven’t gotten through a book this quickly since I read the DaVinci Code.
If you’re a Christopher Moore fan, hurry up to the nearest bookstore and get yourself a copy of “This Sucks”. It’s basically the sequel to “Bloo...more

Like this review? yes
add a comment

Kevin rated it:

03/22/08

A female vampire knows when she's found a good man. If a guy is willing to perform all your responsibilities that must be done in daylight, have sex with you on a regular basis, fight off an evil 800-year-old vampire on your behalf, and still look past the fact that you are a vampire... yep, he's a keeper. To reward her minion and lover for his weeks of loyal service and ensure that they can be together forever, Jodi Stroud turns C. Thomas Flood into a vampire.

And to think, just mere weeks b...more

Like this review? yes
add a comment

Erin rated it:

01/19/08

Read in January, 2008

You Suck is a sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends which I finished earlier this week and adored. I bought this book awhile ago, without knowing that it was a sequel, having never read any Moore before. I started reading it one day and was immediately turned off by the second page when I read this:

"You had sex with me while I was unconscious," Jody said

"That's not the same," Tommy said. "I was just being friendly, like when you put a quarter in someone else's ...more

Like this review? yes
add a comment

Amanda rated it:

09/28/07

bookshelves: fantasy, funny, good

Read in September, 2007
recommends it for: Moore fans/humor lovers

One of the coolest things about Moore is not only his sense of humor, but his way of making totally absurd things seem normal. I'm pretty sure I've said that in a previous review. But he proves it further in this book, the sequel to "Bloodsucking Fiends."

After being Jody's minion for so long, C. Thomas Flood finally joins her as a bloodsucking fiend when his vampire girlfriend learns the secret of changing another. This makes life a little harder, as Flood can no longer work, nor...more

Like this review? yes
3 comments

Jason rated it:

06/25/07

bookshelves: actionadventure

Read in June, 2007

It seems to me im coming onto an unsettling trend with moore's stories. I hate the endings. This books ending killed me. I loved the rest of the story and loved the two main characters. It just seems that he gets done with the climax and is too drained of his comical writing to put together a decent resolution. I do hope he puts Tommy or Jody in one of his upcoming books. The only other riff i had with this book is how underdeveloped he made the 3 vampire figures who came into the story about 30...more

Like this review? yes
add a comment

Abby rated it:

05/07/08

bookshelves: read-2008

Read in May, 2008

A humerous love tale between vamipres, when theres frozen turkey bowling, can you go wrong?

One thing I like about Christopher Moore is his comedic timing and hysterical situations. This is yhe second book I've read by him (The first being "A Dirty Job") and in both stories I felt like the end fell flat. There was almost no tension building up to a climax and the ending just felt dull and unfulfilled.

On the other hand, I have never read a story where one of the characters ...more

Like this review? yes
add a comment

Colleen rated it: (review of isbn 0061227188)

11/01/07

Read in November, 2007
recommends it for: Vampires who want to laugh

I love Christopher Moore. It's amazing how he can woo me so well, and do his voo doo whether writing about Our Lord And Savior, Jesus H. Christ, or teenage vampires in San Fransisco. The later was the subject of this book.

Write about what you know, they tell us. I know Moore spends months researching each new era or supernatural phenomenon he'll devote to paper. I know this about him; maybe I should write about him??

The wonderful thing about the result from his research is its rea...more

Like this review? yes
add a comment

The Marvelous J-A-G rated it:

09/29/07

bookshelves: amusinglysmart, haha

Read in August, 2007
recommends it for: Vampire Hipsters

If you're looking for a book to annoy your bedmates with, this is the one! While reading "You Suck" I frequently, giggled, snorted, guffawed and chuckled, which in turn awoke my resting husband.

If the promise of several good laughs isn't enough, here's a quick write up:

Tommy, a hapless but happy fellow, awakes to discover that his amazingly hot vampire girlfriend has converted him to the cult of love at first bite. As he learns of his new "talents" and weaknesses a w...more

Like this review? yes
add a comment

Turi added it

05/09/08

Read in January, 2007

Managed to finish a book on our trip, too - in the car, I read while Mich drove, as is our tradition. Read Christopher Moore's latest, You Suck - the sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends. Basically kooky vampire humor (though not all of his stuff is vampire-related.) I don't get to recommend Christopher Moore too often; it takes a certain type of twisted humor to enjoy him. Over the weekend, I was talking to my friend Karl about recent books read, and thought he might enjoy Moore's stuff. It's hard to ...more

Like this review? yes
add a comment

★shawn rated it: (review of isbn 0061227188)

04/09/08

Read in March, 2008
recommends it for: Fans of Christopher Moore and vampire novels

My boyfriend lives 100 miles away from me and I actually picked up this "book" in the bargain bin at Books-A-Million to listen to in the car on my drive out to him.

I didn't realize this was a sequel until I started listening to it (Blood Sucking Fiends is the first) but I had relatively no trouble catching the gist of what was going on.

Let me tell you, I'm sure other motorists were wondering what was going on because I laughed out loud and often while listening to this book. T...more

Like this review? yes
add a comment

Katherine rated it:

02/11/08

Read in February, 2008

I f’ing love Christopher Moore. I f’ing love You Suck. Not as much as Dirty Job or the best ever book on Jesus including the Bible Lamb, but I still loved it. In quick summation it’s about a young couple, in love, and freshly made into vampires in San Fran.
Reading You Suck is like reading candy. It’s so good that you don’t want to put it down. Perhaps the calories are a bit empty, but man is it delicious. Perhaps the best parts of the book are the excerpt...more

Like this review? yes
add a comment

L rated it:

05/14/08

bookshelves: airplane-worthy-quickreads

Read in May, 2008
recommends it for: Anyone with a sense of humor

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

Like this review? yes
add a comment

Heather rated it:

09/19/07

bookshelves: humor

Read in September, 2007
recommends it for: mooreites who have read the prequel

It's not often a book comes along that outshines its prequel so brightly - though with high-power vampire-frying UV floodlights, how can it not? One of my favorite things about Moore is his ability to work in characters from in his other novels. Obviously, all the usual suspects from Bloodsucking Fiends are back, but there are also appearances by Charlie Asher and Abby Normal from A Dirty Job. Abby, a very minor character in A Dirty Job, ends up being one of the central characters...more

Like this review? yes
1 comments

Danielle rated it:

05/14/08

Read in May, 2008

This was cute and had moments of brilliance but overall it annoyed me. The jokes and pithy comments were obvious and I felt, repetitive. I also got a weird anti-any woman over a size 2 vibe from the author and that never bodes well with me. Maybe it is because I read this book before reading any of his other work. This is book #2 (after Blood sucking fiends) but no where on the book did it state that and I just picked it up in the store. Would have been nice to have the heads up, only after read...more

Like this review? yes
2 comments

« previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 … 144 145 next »

book data (includes all editions)
avg rating (all editions): 3.67 (2173 ratings)

avg rating (this edition): 3.67 (2004 ratings)
number of reviews: 382

recommend it | blog it

blog this book
[close]

title link

avg rating

small image

med image

large image

popular shelves

to-read (60)
currently-reading (42)
fiction (7)
humor (4)
vampire (2)
fantasy (2)
challenges-read (1)
paranormal (1)
owned (1)
humour (1)

other editions

[close] You Suck: A Love Story (Paperback)
isbn: 0060590300

[close] You Suck
isbn: 0000000000

[close] You Suck CD: A Love Story (Audio CD)
isbn: 0061227188

combine editions | view all 8 »

quote

"Tommy had felt alone in a crowd before, even inferior to everyone in a crowd, but now he felt, well, different. It wasn't just the clothes and the make up, it was the humanity. He wasn't part of it. Heightened senses or not, he felt like he had his nose pressed against the window, looking in. The problem was, it was the window of a donut shop." more quotes »