You Suck (A Love Story, #2)
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You Suck (A Love Story #2)

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3.79 of 5 stars 3.79  ·  rating details  ·  33,042 ratings  ·  2,325 reviews
Being undead sucks. Literally.

Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues....more
Hardcover, 328 pages
Published January 16th 2007 by William Morrow & Company (first published 2007)
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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas AdamsGood Omens by Terry PratchettLamb by Christopher MooreThe Princess Bride by William GoldmanA Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
Books that Make you Laugh
10th out of 2,139 books — 3,191 voters
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas AdamsGood Omens by Terry PratchettLamb by Christopher MooreMe Talk Pretty One Day by David SedarisThe Princess Bride by William Goldman
Best Humorous Books
41st out of 2,454 books — 4,746 voters


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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Marian Willeke
First of all, I would normally never even think to read this book. But as I was looking at the clearance rack, a kid, ie teenager, approached me.

"Hey, do you like vampires?"

I was disturbed how unfazed I was with the completely random question.

"Sure." Slightly wary.

"Have you heard of Moore?"

He's a vampire now? That answers a lot of questions.

"Michael Moore?" I'm riffling books hoping he'll go away.

"No, not that crazy one, this is a Christopher Moore. He's hilarious and has his own cult started."...more
Amanda
Nov 17, 2013 Amanda rated it 3 of 5 stars
Shelves: blog
Funny, with some definitely quotable moments. However, for me, Moore's vampire series is the weakest of his work. That's not an insult--I still enjoy them and definitely snicker out loud in ways that make those around me pick up their things and stealthily move away from the crazy person, but they're a little too "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" sometimes in their humor. What impresses me with Moore is that, often among all of the wacky chaos, he can sneak up on you with a beautiful turn of phrase or...more
Kelli
Get out the garlic--it’s yet another vampire tale! I’m not sure who to blame for the vampire and zombie stories proliferating like bunnies on a hot August afternoon, but when I find out and slap them, I’ll hold back--just a touch--for this one. Thankfully, this book didn’t take itself seriously, was wont to include posers in leather, pleather or otherwise, and left the sulking, weak-willed super beings behind. Instead, this tongue-in-cheek story injects a touch of humor into the overdone subgenr...more
Rusty
This is my first Chris Moore book. I quickly realized that this was a sequel, but I was already into the story. Why? Because Moore is fricking hilarious. This is the story of two rookie vampires (Jody and Tommy) who are doing their best to avoid the law, former friends, and giving in completely to their primal natures. And of course they need a minion. Enter Abby Normal. Her greatest struggle is trying to shove down her inherent perkiness and embrace the darkness of goth, or whatever she is. Her...more
Bruce
I love Christopher Moore. I mean, I really, really love this guy's writing. I've given his books to friends, made them required reading for classes that I've taught, and generally done everything I could to help him along.

But this one...well, the title pretty much says it all. Moore slapped together a thin plot, an ongoing lovers' quarrel, some gimmicky scenes, a major deus ex machina, and an ending that is truly lame.

When the guy is on, he is fantastic. And when he's off, well, he sucks.
AH
3.5 stars

You Suck: A Love Story is a hilarious romp through San Francisco. The book focuses on Jody and Tommy, two new fledgling vampires and their rather unconventional love. Jody bites Tommy and makes him a vampire. He is not too happy with his new condition, but is easily distracted by Jody and the allure of wild monkey sex with her.

Christopher Moore’s vampires have interesting powers. They can turn to mist when necessary, which helps them get out of trouble (or causes trouble). They burn i...more
Jeff
There are many distinct umbrages I would like to take with Christopher Moore in general and this book in particular. However, I realize the problem here is more with me than it is with Moore. Like most of his work, "You Suck" is an outlandish, mildly entertaining story within a story that references previous books and resurrects old characters. Unfortunately, I simply do not have the ability to retain much of what Moore writes in my head for more than a few minutes. I finished reading this book...more
Terri ♥ (aka Mrs. Christian Grey)
Quick review:

Cover: Eh
Rating: NC-17
Steaminess: Steamy
Thumbs Up: 4
Overall: Still funny
Characters: Well Written
Plot: The accidental vampire and her lover still mucking things up
Page Turner: Yes
Series Cont.? Yes
Recommend: Yes
Book Boyfriend: Thomas C. Flood

SUMMARY (50 words or less)
I wasn’t sure when I started this one if it would live up to the first one, but as I got into it, the laughs were plentiful. Floor and Abby Normal were priceless. The hilarity of taken an accidental vampire and ho...more
Weavre
Aug 10, 2008 Weavre rated it 1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: nobody
Blech.

I really enjoyed the last Christopher Moore novel and decided to try another, despite the fact that the plot isn't ordinarily one that would draw my attention. I picked this one because (1) it was handy on the library shelf, and (2) it was written after A Dirty Job and I thought that meant it was likely to be written at least as well.

That was a mistake. This one's going back to the library unfinished, because I'm just not wasting any more time on it. I read about a quarter of the book, in...more
Howie
Dec 07, 2008 Howie rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommended to Howie by: Marian Willeke
I gave this book a five star rating because it sucked me in so hard that I stayed up all night to read it, cover to cover. I read slowly, so this is pretty intense. As the book introduces a newly converted vampire Tommy Flood, I can't help but think that this is how I would probably behave if I were suddenly transformed - that is, curious, clumsy, and full of desire for mad vampire sex. What I probably wouldn't accomplish as well as the Dark Lord Flood is the dry wit and wise cracks, which make...more
Kerrie
Jun 21, 2011 Kerrie rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Moore fans, lovers of snark
Another hilarious book by this whacked-out author. After a few pages I realized that this was a sequel and momentarily though "Agh! I need to start with book #1!" But quickly it became evident that going back to Bloodsucking Fiends was unnecessary, for Moore seamlessly presented the backstory to fill in the reader.

I listened to the audiobook, and Susan Bennett did a marvelous job with all the characters, making each one sound different. The sardonic Jody, the spastic Tommy, the "tchah! WhatEVER!...more
Chris M.
Jan 24, 2008 Chris M. rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Christopher Moore fans
I was expecting more from this book since Moore wrote it after Dirty Job. But, where Dirty Job was nicely crafted, well-paced, and original, You Suck was not quite the same. It is certainly an original take on a story that's been told over and over again. Vampires are not original but Moore does add some nice texture and moral complexity to the creatures. Unfortunately, I found the pacing awkward.

Moore switches back and forth from third person narrative to first person through the conceit of ha...more
Aaron
Jan 29, 2008 Aaron rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Ex-Goths living in SF (most of my friends?)
A hugely entertaining lightweight page turner about modern day vampires living in SF. A cast of very likable characters kept me thoroughly captivated. This is especially true of one Abby Normal, 16 year old goth girl, minion to The Vampire Flood, and part time narrator through her diary entries like this:

Chapter 16: Being the Chronicles of One Abby Normal, Completely Fucked Servant of The Vampire Flood.

OMFG! W00T!! I have failed. Left my duty undone, like so much dog poop on the blooming sidewa
...more
Shelli
I started this and thought "Really? This is dumb." Then I looked up my friend's reviews and was like…"Hmmmm, they seem to like it." It was a challenge book for me, so I decided to keep on…hoping it would get tolerable at least. As I got further, I found that I was more interested….had a few chuckles. I started thinking…"Oh yeah, I remember these characters…they are quite funny." By 80%……I was LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!! Too funny. Christopher Moore you crack me up! Abby Normal is "the bomb!" Not quite...more
Will Byrnes
This is a laugh-out-loud novel in which vampirism meets slacker youth in San Francisco. The opening line is a classic “You bitch, you killed me! You suck!” Young Tommy Flood awakes to find that his girlfriend, Jodi, has killed him, with her bite transforming him into a creature of the night. She wanted company and the old guy who turned her only a few months back was not to her liking. He had not been able to do much about it, having been attacked, robbed and ultimately bronzed by Tommy and his...more
Serena
Oct 22, 2008 Serena rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: vampire lovers
Christopher Moore's You Suck audio book is another find at the library that I should have taken out in book form. This book had us roaring with laughter in the car on the way to work over the weeks we listened to it.

***Spoiler Alert***

This is a vampiric tale of one young fledgling, Jody, turning her Midwest boyfriend, Tommy Flood, into a vampire so they can be together forever. Jody, who was turned by an older vampire, Elijah, teams up with Tommy and his co-workers at the San Francisco Marina Sa...more
Abbie
I really liked this book even though I haven't read the prequel. It was just so dang funny.! It's a fresh take on vampire romance. You Suck centers around Tommy Flood and his girlfriend/sire Jody. Tommy wakes up one night to find that he's been turned into a vampire. Not only that but he has to adapt to his new-found urges and avoid the law and "the hounds" that are after them. Tommy and Jody have a sweet relationship and as the story progressed I became very attached to their characters. I just...more
Marvin
You Suck doesn't have the zing that is prevalent in the first book of Moore's Love Story trilogy titled Bloodsucking Fiends. However it is still really funny and introduces some new quirky characters to play off of the Romeo and Juliet vampire pair, Tommy and Jody. We now have 16 year old vampire-wanna-be Abby Normal, a blue prostitute (as in the color not the emotion), and William the Wino and his huge cat Chet. The rest of the gang is still there including Elijah, the emperor, and the animals,...more
Jackie "the Librarian"
Sporadically funny, disjointed vampires-in-love story, that almost stands alone from it's prequel, Bloodsucking Fiends. Jody and Tommy are young, new vampires, just trying to make things work. But life is so complicated when you're vampires! Just figuring out who to have for dinner can be a chore!

First of all, they need a minion (okay, I loved the minion, Abby Normal) to do their daytime errands, like getting them a new apartment. They have to move, because Tommy's old gang at work has learned...more
Jesse
Jul 11, 2007 Jesse rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Fans of Buffy, fans of Terry Pratchett, those with strange senses of humor
I'm going to try to write this with out gushing about this author, but I can't make any promises.

Is this the most real book I've ever read? Yes, in so much as people are all strange inside. Even the most normal people have weirdness in them, and so this books cast of slackers, screw-ups, Otaku(I think thats the word for Fanboys, but I could be wrong), vampires (ancient and young), Goths (all posers, cause come on...where were they when rome was being sacked?), and all the rest; this cast just ma...more
Megan
A friend gave this to me as a gift. She didn't know that it was the second book in a trilogy- and neither did I until I after I finished reading it. I know there are a lot of Christopher Moore fans out there who think he's really funny and talented. I guess I'm just not one of them. He uses vulgar language in order to TRY to be funny. And to me, he comes of flat. There was so much bad language in this book that it was so hard to get past. The story is about a girl who is a vampire who turns her...more
Barks & Bites
Tommy wakes up to find his gorgeous new vampiric girlfriend Jody has turned him into a vampire so he could be with her all of the time. Tommy is easy-going enough and goes with the flow but he's only 19 and has a lot to learn. Now he has to adjust to a new life, hide his vampirism from his buds (a group called "The Animals") and give up his job at the supermarket. To please Jody, he decides to help her find a minion to do their bidding. This brings Abby Normal, a goth-wanna-be girl, into their l...more
Jackie
This is the second book in Moore's vampire series ("Bloodsucking Fiends" is the first). Jody, Tommy and the Animals are back for more hilarity. And to that a new drama prone teenage minion, a blue hooker from Vegas and a homeless man with an unusually large cat, and you've got the ingredients for another hilarious novel. It isn't easy being fanged, but it sure is funny. Moore delivers everything readers have come to expect from him and more!
Serena!
C'era una volta...
Una casa editrice italiana che pensò bene di tradurre il secondo volume di una trilogia, senza minimamente curarsi del primo o, per quanto possa contare, del terzo.
Si credeva fosse una legenda, ma risultò essere tutto tristemente vero.


Ora.. Mi va bene (quasi) tutto: serie interrotte, porcate pubblicate senza ritegno perché "vendono", scelte grafiche che fanno drizzare i peli.. MA TRADURRE UN SECONDO VOLUME DI UNA TRILOGIA NO, DAI!!
Ma qual è il senso?? Forse nella lettura sono s...more
Laura
Loved it. I laughed outloud more than once, and I don't even like vampire books, movies, etc. Here's a quote ...

I was all "Oh, dog, Countess gonna crack open a forty of whup-ass on you now. Oh, you in the shit now, wigga!" (I am not inclined to use hip-hop vernacular often, but there are times when, like French, it just better expresses the sentiment of the moment.) p.180
Kathryn
I would easily give this a 5 if not for the ending, which left me disappointed. I thought the whole thing was wrapped up too quickly. I hope there will be a third book, which might make me change my tune. This was very funny, yet maybe not as funny as the first.
Sara Hemenway
So.

This book.

I read the first one in this trilogy, Bloodsucking Fiends, probably in 8th grade or freshman year of high school. At the time, it felt edgy, and I felt a little naughty reading it. Most of all, it was funny. Sometimes a little ridiculous, but quite entertaining. After re-reading it last month, it still mostly holds up that way for me. It's a quick, fun read.

This, however, was... less fun.

I think one of the worst things about it is that the first book was published in the latter half...more
Libby
This book is a fun and entertaining read. If you are looking for some light-hearted, comic fantasy Moore is a great choice. This was my first Christopher Moore book. I very much enjoyed it and will certainly pick up more of his work.

I sat down and read this one over two days because it was just pure fun. The story focuses on Jodi and Tommy, two somewhat inept vampires and the circumstances they find themselves in. The plot is page turning without being too involved and the characters are highly...more
James Haub
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
David Katzman
For Halloween this year, I went as a bad standup-comedian vampire. I wrote some jokes that followed typical standup subject matter but entirely without punch lines. My style was Steven Wright minus the payoff. I dressed as a vampire, wore realistic fangs, too, and performed the routine at two parties with a plant in the audience each time directed to shout, after four jokes, “You suck!!!”

I killed.

Hahahah. Well, I kill me, anyway.

So a while back a friend loaned me the novel, You Suck because he...more
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Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

Christopher Moore (born 1957 in Toledo, Ohio) is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.

Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters...more
More about Christopher Moore...
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal A Dirty Job Bloodsucking Fiends (A Love Story, #1) Fool Practical Demonkeeping

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“Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.” 198 likes
“Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?"
And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.”
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