Live Through This: A Mother's Memoir of Runaway Daughters and Reclaimed Love

Live Through This: A Mother's Memoir of Runaway Daughters and Reclaimed Love

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3.58 of 5 stars 3.58  ·  rating details  ·  483 ratings  ·  156 reviews
An intensely emotional and redemptive memoir about a mother's mission to rescue her runaway daughters



After a miserably failed marriage, Debra Gwartney moves with her four young daughters to Eugene, Oregon, for a new job and what she hopes will be a new life for herself and her family. The two oldest, Amanda, 14, and Stephanie, 13, blame their mother for what happened, and...more
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published February 11th 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (first published 2009)
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Harun Harahap
Saya belum menikah apalagi memiliki anak. Maka, saya akan menilai buku ini dengan memposisikan diri sebagai anak.

Seperti halnya Amanda dan Stephani yang memberontak ketika usia remaja, sayapun begitu. Egoisme yang tinggi membuat orangtua saya berpikir ada yang salah dalam cara pengasuhan mereka. Debrapun berpikiran seperti itu, dia kerap menyalahkan dirinya dan mantan suaminya, Tom, atas perceraian mereka.

Saya saja yang memiliki orangtua yang pernikahannya masih utuh terkadang ingin perhatian da...more
Rhian
An extremely well-written and absolutely horrifying book. As mother of a couple of pre-teenagers, I read it with an agenda -- How can I keep this from happening to me? -- which made it all the more electrifying.

One thing Gwartney did not include, which an editor should probably have pointed out, is a good sense of who these children were -- what they were like. For most of the book she doesn't distinguish between them or spend much time describing their individual personalities. She knows how t...more
Janet
Upon finishing this, I wondered if I should recommend it to my mother. Altho I never ran away and didn't get into the trouble and despair that this author's daughters did, I'm sure my mother experienced the anguish and insecurity that comes from having an out of control family member--whether it be me or my sister who paved the way before me.
Brandi
WOW!I was sucked in to this book and am still trying to recover. As a mother, it was a frightening book for me to read. This memoir actually made me get teary-eyed in a few spots, as well as mad. Mad at the author, mad at the ex-husband, mad at the daughters. I guess you could say there were a lot of emotions to deal with and that is part of the reason why I enjoyed it so much. There are some heavy moments in this book where Gwartney implicates herself and I admire that...a lot. I have already t...more
Corrina
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Carla Perry
Debra Gwartney's memoir of a mother of 4 daughters by a previous marriage who lays it all out on the page: her horrendous failures as a mother and ex-wife who puts her own need for anger and revenge ahead of her children’s comfort, and thus causes a situation where the two oldest daughters become street people, first in Eugene, Oregon – doing drugs, alcohol, prostitution - but they’re only 14 and 16 years old. The family rallies around to provide intervention settings – therapies, outward bound...more
Rachel Autry
Period 7
A Mother of Runaway Daughters
Live Through This by Debra Gwartney goes deep into her own thoughts and struggles from the night two of her daughters, Amanda and Stephanie, didnt come home. As Gwartney leads us through the years she spent in heartache and confusion, the book becomes more emotional. Gwartney was a mother of four daughters, and the day she finally decided to leave her reckless and irresponsible husband, eveything went downhill. All of a sudden, a single mother moves from Ariz...more
Annarosepenny
I flew through "Live Through This," the train wreck that is our teenage lives, sometimes. Somehow, even though it's tempting at times, I do not blame the mom for what happened to her two eldest girls, Amanda and Stephanie, ages 15 and 13. In their home in AZ, mom is getting antsy. She's been with the impulsively immature dad for too long (a bad idea since college), and needs out. Who can blame her for packing up her FOUR girls, and leaving for the PNW? Who can blame her for working full time, an...more
Jenny
Ok, I cheated on this one & listened to it on CD. I checked it out on a whim and ended up really enjoying it. Listened to it on my way to state parks and around town for the past week and a half - Charles even got into it; I gave him a rundown of whatever he had missed in the intervals between his own listenings, through which he would impatiently roll his hand in the air to get me to just start the CD.

It was fascinating to hear the story of two runaway teenagers from the mother's point of...more
Terry
I picked this book up at the library sort of idly, then discovered it is a story I heard on NPR Y E A R S ago that made such an impression on me I actually wrote a poem based on it! Waaa--crazy. It was very vertigo-inducing to hear the story again in a very extended (and one-sided) version and read over some of the lines and events that made it into the poem. STRANGE. Okay, this is not all about me.

I liked this book because I think Gwartney is pretty honest, even when it pains her to be so. In f...more
Katherine Spencer Inskeep
I heard Debra Gwartney interviewed on "This American Life" on NPR with her daughters. Sounded really interesting

This book is a look at the family struggles during a period where both Amanda (then 15) & Stephanie (13) run away and choose to live on the streets. The NPR program featured clips from Debra, Amanda & Stephanie which made it really interesting. The book focuses only on Debra's experience and her point of view. I can relate to her desperation of wanting to find a "fix" (therapis...more
Isabel1969
While absorbing, this true story written by the mother of two run-away teenaged girls is disappointing in that the mother does not seem to have learned the most important lesson. All through the book, from the very first paragraph, Ms. Gwartney is incredibly judgemental against people living on the streets. I can't count the number of times she described with disgust their smell and appearance, including that of her own daughters. Perhaps if she had accepted that they were not the picture of per...more
Amy Murray
Reading this book was equal parts painful and eye-opening. Debra Gwartney survived not only a traumatic divorce, but the near-loss of her two oldest daughters, who turn to a life of drinking, drugs, and homelessness in response to the break-up of their family. Here are what I found to be the most powerful aspects of this book:

1. I was most impressed with Gwartney's ability to look back honestly on the mistakes she made during her divorce. Admitting that she was, at times, more interested in hurt...more
Violet
Reading books about parents with 'out of control' kids/teens is difficult for me for a variety of reasons, both personal and professional. It's easy to watch someone else's parenting and think, "Jeeez, you're doing it wrong!" - and it's hard, as a parent, to describe the intricacies of parent-child interactions to someone who doesn't live in your home.

That said, I think it's good for non-parents to realize how very little parents can do to help their children in even the most dire circumstances...more
Alvina
Judul Buku : Live Through This (Kekuatan Cinta Seorang Ibu)
Penulis : Debra Gwartney
Penerjemah : Rahmani Astuti
Penerbit : Mahda Books
Cetakan Pertama : Agustus 2009
ISBN : 978-979-19926-1-9

Kisah ini diceritakan dari sudut pandang seorang Ibu yang terus berjuang mendapatkan kepercayaan anaknya kembali. Sejak bercerai dari suaminya, Debra, sang Ibu ini, mengalami berkali-kali keputusasaan yang sangat karena dua anak pertamanya bermasalah. Stephanie dan Amanda, nama anak-anak perempuan itu, mulai seri...more
Glenda
This book was such an emotional journey and I felt so bad for the mother. Not knowing where your children are, if they are dead or alive, has got to be one of the worst things in the world. I don't think anything was the mother's fault and sometimes kids are going to do what they are going to do regardless of how good of parenting they have. There are so many kids addicted to drugs and in the same situation that come from great homes and have good parents. I believe that there are alot of factor...more
Neneng
“Tidak bisakah kami pulang saja dan kembali pada kehidupan normal? Aku tidak bisa mengingat kenapa aku membuang anak-anakku ke pegunungan yang luar biasa dingin itu. Untuk apa? Apa yang tidak bisa dibetulkan disana, yang tidak bisa dibetulkan sendiri oleh seorang ibu yang penuh pengabdian dan disiplin?”

Setelah perceraian dengan suaminya, dan keempat putrinya diputuskan oleh pengadilan untuk hidup dengannya, Debra menjadi seorang single mom yang penuh perjuangan dan pengabdian dalam membesarkan p...more
Truly
Belinya sih bereng silver Phonix, tp baru ingat belum dibaca.
Setelah membaca setidaknya bisa memahami banyak hal tentang kasih sayang seorang ibu.Walau kadang menjengkelkan menurut kita, namun seorang ibu pasti ingin yang terbaik untuk anaknya. Memang tidak bisa dipungkiri cara yang dipilih untuk menunjukkan kasih sayangnya kadang malah menjengkelkan bagi seorang anak.

Seorang ibu akan dianggap cerewet jika berulang kali mengingatkan anaknya untuk sejenak berhenti beraktifitas dan menyegerakan ma...more
Irena Politzer
This was a really excellent, thought-provoking book. From an outsider's perspective, it's easy to see some of the mistakes that Debra (the mom) made immediately following her divorce -- of course it would be very hard on her daughters to move away and pretend that their father never existed! In hindsight, she realizes that she should have treated their transition more carefully and talked to them more openly (and ideally, with less rancor against their father). But it's way too easy to blame all...more
Danielle
I started reading this book and thought man this story sounds awfully familiar. Turns out I had actually heard it on a segment of This American Life. Of course the book goes into much more detail than they could cover in a 20 minute radio segment, so it wasn't as if reading it was a complete waste of time.

I actually really enjoyed the book, although it made me sad. The story is basically about a family with 4 daughters, the older 2 of whom run away from home. The book is written by the mother b...more
Beryl
Apr 14, 2009 Beryl rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: family's coping with teenage drug abuse
Recommended to Beryl by: MPR
Debra Gwartney's wondrously open and honest memoir of the years spent agonizing over her runaway daughters had me raging with frustration at times, knowing exactly where she was coming from and waiting impatiently for her to make the decisions that would put the responsibility for their lives back on her daughters' shoulders, where it belonged.

People I've told about this book, have said that there had to be something more serious under the surface that the author hasn't revealed. I wouldn't kno...more
Emily Udell
I wanted to read this memoir since I heard the moving "This American Life" piece focusing on the author and her daughters. I think Gwartney admirably attempted to cop to her own failures as a mother with a straightforward portrayal of her thoughts and motivations, but she left me with a vague lack of sympathy for her plight (was it really any wonder her daughters rebelled so hardcore?). I also found the narrative needlessly choppy; the author was constantly interrupting events with flashbacks th...more
Bridgett
I was surprised how much I loved this book. I finished it yesterday, and I can't stop thinking about it. Gwartney is so honest, numbingly so; in fact, there are times when she is unlikable, when you want to question her behavior, but because she is there before the reader, questioning the entire time, reflecting on every bad decision, and ultimately coming to no satisfactory conclusion as to why her daughters ran away, you realize that the instinct to question her ability to mother properly is e...more
Jess
From the moment I picked up this book, I could barely put it down. This is the story of two runaway teenage daughters, written from the perspective of their own mother, Debra Gwartney. Gwartney's tale is powerful and heart-wrenching. She relives the months and years of her daughters' disappearance with honest intensity. I am not a mother, but I felt such a connection with this woman. She was painfully honest about her well-intentioned, yet misguided and ultimately damaging actions as a parent. T...more
Diane Yannick
Rating 3/4. Loved mom's honesty in describing the train wreck she lived through. Having 15 and 13 year old daughters choose to live on the streets rather than the home you've built, must be beyond awful. Sure, you can easily blame the mother for divorcing, moving far away from dad, and deciding that she can raise four daughters on her own. I don't think that's fair. It's easy to sit back and judge a mother who reaches the end of her rope. It's not easy to try your best to solve problems and have...more
Shawna
A good read, but as always with this type of book (like "Augusta Gone")
I tend to get angry at the behavior of the children and be amazed at how much abuse the mother will put up with. Debra also puts out a lot of money to force her daughters into a variety of alternative programs in the hopes of changing their behavior. I wonder what a person is supposed to do who doesn't have well-off parents, or rich former in-laws, or a variety of friends who'll step in and take the girls off her hands.

Also...more
Tina Boscha
This book triggers a lot of emotion in readers, especially those who are mothers. Gwartney paints a painful, complete, and honest picture of living through a disruptive and difficult time (trying to avoid spoilers here). What I loved about this book, beyond the beautiful prose, is that Gwartney did not spare herself. She does not paint herself as a martyr and honestly deals with the complex emotions that accompanied her daughters' habitual running away. No one is perfect in this book, and yet in...more
Jennifer
I can't even tell you why I read this. I think there was an article about it in People Magazine, which I was clutching recently on a turbulent flight. I must have said to myself, "Oh yes! A memoir about a mother with horrible teenagers! That sounds better than a plane crash." And then, apparently, I requested it from the library.

But here's the thing -- it was really good. It was good in that way that Lifetime movies-of-the-week are good after a really hard day. I couldn't put it down. The writin...more
Tabitha Blankenbiller
This semester has been chock full of mothers. There’s my most-love-to-hate mother, Jeanette Walls’ in The Glass Castle. Ruth Reichl’s mother swings from maddeningly eccentric in Tender at the Bone to an empathetic portrait in Not Becoming My Mother. There’s the shocking suicide of Nick Flynn’s mother in Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, which he may or may not blame on himself. Pam Houston’s is largely absent, but does pop in every once and a while to remind her that she’s fat in A Little Mor...more
Sharon
I agree with what another of my Goodreads friends says here: I've read many memoirs in which the authors talk about their mothers, but this one is unusual in that it is about mothering, about being a mother, and the toughest choices any mother could ever have to face. Gwartney writes with such honesty and intensity that my life was taken over by this beautiful, haunting book. It's an incredibly gripping story, and the way she gives telling, vivid details (like having to use a shoe buckle to open...more
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Live Through This: Kekuatan Cinta Seorang Ibu (Paperback)
Live Through This: A Mother's Memoir of Runaway Daughters and Reclaimed Love (Paperback)
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