Cancer is a Bitch (or, I'd Rather Be Having a Midlife Crisis)

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Cancer is a Bitch (or, I'd Rather Be Having a Midlife Crisis)

by Gail Konop Baker (Goodreads Author), Gail Konop-Baker

3.76 · rating details · 75 ratings · 21 reviews

“I want to be brave. I want to be big. I want to be gracious and cool. I want to be the Audrey Hepburn of cancer…” Gail Konop Baker was a runner, yoga practitioner, and lifelong subscriber to Prevention magazine. As her forty-sixth birthday approached, she looked forward to a time when she could at last take a deep breath, with one child heading off to college and the othe...more

Hardcover, 272 pages

Published September 23rd 2008 by Da Capo Press (first published September 8th 2008)

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Cancer on Five Dollars a Day* (*chemo not included) by Robert Schimmel

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Nov 20, 2008

Carrie Runnals rated it

Recommends it for: Everyone

Check out my interview with Gail Konop-Baker at: http://wordstomouth.com/?p=268

There you'll find both an audio and written interview. Read the book and share your thoughts--if you are a cancer survivor, please feel free to post your story in the comment section under the interview. I so appreciate Gail's honesty and humor and encourage anyone to read this book and share it with friends/family dealing with cancer or just contemplating LIFE!

“Gail Konop Baker is a knock-out...more

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Jan 12, 2009

Elevate Difference rated it

After completing her second novel (one about a woman dealing with breast cancer that her agent wasn't very excited about), Gail Konop Baker was actually diagnosed with the disease herself. In this book, she takes the journals that kick started her column "Bare-Breasted Mama" and turns them into this smart, funny, insightful, and intimate book about an event in her life that really rocked her world.

I selected this read because it seems like cancer has been creeping around the ...moreAfter completing her second novel (one about a woman dealing with breast cancer that her agent wasn't very excited about), Gail Konop Baker was actually diagnosed with the disease herself. In this book, she takes the journals that kick started her column "Bare-Breasted Mama" and turns them into this smart, funny, insightful, and intimate book about an event in her life that really rocked her world.

I selected this read because it seems like cancer has been creeping around the six-degree-edges of my life lately. Neighbors, coworkers, friends of friends—every week I hear about someone else who was diagnosed. People who seemed to be the picture of good health are suddenly meeting with doctors and surgeons to form battle plans, knowing that any treatment they select is still going to be unpleasant. And I imagine some of their experiences are not so unlike Baker's description of trying to dress for the exam:

"...waking that morning in disbelief that I had an appointment with an oncologist. Oncologist? That word was for other people, older people, unlucky people. People who die. I stared into my bureau drawers, agonizing over what to wear, wondering why they didn't send that information with the postcard appointment reminder and how I was supposed to navigate all these decisions without more guidance? You get an instruction booklet with a toaster oven but no instructions for marriage or motherhood or cancer."

Cancer is the antagonist in this story, but the real trip is an inside look at the messy, emotional, day-to-day of a woman's life, a woman who by chance also happens to be a very funny, witty, and exuberant writer. I not only laughed out loud reading Cancer Is a Bitch; I also paused to consider my life as a mother and as a human being while continually nodding my head as I thought of yet another friend that I wanted to recommend it to.

It is the small observations that make this book. Her own analysis of her twenty-year marriage, of how love can ebb and flow with seemingly irrational meandering and then come back to center. Like when she describes dropping her daughter off to start college:

"And as I stand here in the quad I feel the rush of all the years passing in this moment. I didn't mean to rush it. I didn't mean to ever feel frustrated and bored, to want to get everything done, to ever think, 'When she finally grows up I'll get my life back,' because it isn't true. She was and is my life and I'm not ready to let go...and we're both crying now, our bodies trembling as she whispers, 'It's okay, Mom. We're both going to be okay.'"

That voice is what I enjoyed so much, because of its ablity to freak out and yet still see the irony, and the humor.

Review by Jen Wilson Lloyd(less)

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Sep 27, 2011

Ciara rated it

Shelves: read-in-2011, autobio-memoir

i had a tough time with this one. i breezed through it thanks to the huge type & even more enormous margins (it probably would have clocked in at all of 120 pages without these typographical tweaks), but i didn't care much for it. i guess i picked it up not because i have much personal experience with cancer, but because i live with chronic pain & i am always interested in reading about other people's life-changing health battles.

the sub-title of this book is, "i'd rather be havin...morei had a tough time with this one. i breezed through it thanks to the huge type & even more enormous margins (it probably would have clocked in at all of 120 pages without these typographical tweaks), but i didn't care much for it. i guess i picked it up not because i have much personal experience with cancer, but because i live with chronic pain & i am always interested in reading about other people's life-changing health battles.

the sub-title of this book is, "i'd rather be having a mid-life crisis". well, basically that's exactly what the author did have. the book is far less about cancer than it is about her own tumultuous relationship with her husband & her mixed bag of feelings about her older children growing up & getting ready to decamp for college. her brush with breast cancer was very treatable--one surgery to remove a small lump, no radiation, no chemo. the scar tissue from the surgery sends the author into a tailspin of lamenting for her lost youth, when she took her body & its appearance for granted.

the author goes on quite a bit about her difficult relationship with her mother, telling (but certainly not showing) that baker was expected to mother her mother instead of vice versa, & when she had children herself, she hoped to never put them in that situation. then she writes about passing out in front of her young son & scaring the shit out of him, & allowing her daughters to dress her up in a sexy outfit for a party. she presents her marital troubles with pretty much no context whatsoever, & both she & her husband come out of it looking like assholes. like serious, unstoppable grade A assholes. they both sound crazy jealous & resentful of one another & just...damn. it really put my piddling issues with my own partner into perspective.

i didn't HATE this book. but i got the sense that it was cobbled together from diary entries or blog posts, maybe, & not really edited together that well. i'm sure that for readers who were folling baker's blog, or people who actually know the author & have some context for what she's writing about it, it was fine--good, even. but for me, baker does a whole lot of complaining & breaking down without ever really explaining what the fuck is going on. & then the chapter ends & she's all well & good until the next crisis comes along. it was like having a very neurotic friend who only calls when things are really bad, but never bothers to call back later & let you know how she resolved everything. kind of obnoxious.(less)

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Jan 26, 2012

Ron rated it

Baker name checks one of the worst TV shows in history (Sex and the City) in the first line, and the book mentions the execrable Oprah (and other bad pop culture like the We Can Do It poster) so often that we know she is angling for nothing more than The Big O stamp of approval and a best seller. The sad fact is that this book is only peripherally about cancer and it is her neurotic meditation on mid-life. The type and margins are so large that it may as well be a kids' book and wouldn't fill 10...moreBaker name checks one of the worst TV shows in history (Sex and the City) in the first line, and the book mentions the execrable Oprah (and other bad pop culture like the We Can Do It poster) so often that we know she is angling for nothing more than The Big O stamp of approval and a best seller. The sad fact is that this book is only peripherally about cancer and it is her neurotic meditation on mid-life. The type and margins are so large that it may as well be a kids' book and wouldn't fill 100 pages of an adult book. The writing rings false, as her attempt at an edgy style is completely at odds with the fact that she is a complete prude in the sexual arena. She talks about her exceptional child, yet one wonders how a legacy was denied entrance to Dartmouth in an era of admissions fraud. Her 'experimental' college clearly--as evidenced by Facebook conversations with idiotic men with whom she attended the place--was an experiment in BEING a college and not in educational techniques. Her shallowness about her self image is so evident and appalling that we are left to wonder how she could deride the 'schmuck who married a manicurist' when she ended up leaving her very patient and loving husband--who would have been horrified to be with 'Rita', a woman who has been disastrous for all the men in her life--for someone she describes as a 'thuggish and violent' biker-type (the yoga studio in Madison is very small and it would have been impossible not to hear this). She also clearly doesn't see how marathons and triathlons have become a metaphor for women, and that this sort of endurance activity is ludicrously dangerous and damaging on the cellular level. I suppose that and her new affair were her attempts--along with this bad book--at gaining agency over her life, but we are left ultimately feeling exactly how her publisher felt about her novel: we simply don't care that she had cancer and know she would have been better off as a career waitress.

The most crass and disingenuous book I have read in years. (less)

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Mar 20, 2010

Meg rated it

The first two-thirds of this book is just a middle-aged woman whining "WHY ME???" about a very curable cancer. OK, I'd imagine any kind of cancer is pretty scary and deserves some sympathy and entitles one to some whining. But does it entitle one to a book? The author seems to have no humor or insight whatsoever - and it's not that I think cancer must be funny or insightful, I just think if you're going to write a whole book about it you should have something to say other than "...more

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Sep 28, 2008

Cheryl rated it

Gail Konop Baker brings readers a heart-felt, gut-wrenching beautiful story in her debut book. Cancer is a Bitch is Gail’s own personal story. I commend Mrs. Konop Baker on sharing her story as it takes a lot of strength and guts to turn your life into a book and not just any books but an outstanding, wonderful, incredible book. I picked up this book and started reading; before you know it I was done.

One thing that made this book really enjoyable was Gail’s sense of humor through th...more

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May 03, 2009

Kathi rated it

Recommends it for: married women in their 40s, women dx with DCIS

Shelves: cancer

Disclaimer first--I am a breast cancer survivor, stage IIB, treated with several surgeries, chemotherapy, and hormonal therapy.

This book is much more about Gail Konop Baker's midlife crisis than about her experience with breast cancer. Is the book searingly honest and real? Definitely yes! Is it about cancer? Only peripherally.

In fact, Konop Baker may not have had breast cancer at all, since her pathology second opinion at Mayo Clinic described the cells as ADH, atypical ductal hyperplasia,...more

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Oct 05, 2008

Michelle rated it

Shelves: favorites

I knew I would like this book, but I didn't think I would love it as much as I did. This book is emotional and brave, and I'm not just talking about the cancer-related parts. The author speaks the things one might feel as a wife, a mother, a woman, but would never dare utter in polite company. I found myself often thinking, "thank God! I am not the only person who's ever thought that." This book is about so much more than a woman receiving a cancer diagnosis. The writing is stunningly ...more

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Jan 31, 2010

Jarrah rated it

I thought this book was an honest account of a mother and wife who finds out she has breast cancer. The author doesn't hold anything back and I appreciated her perspective on this terrible disease.

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Dec 05, 2008

Jennifer rated it

This is a great read.

And working on the interview with Gail was fun, too.

Please go to Emerge - New Authors for full transcript.

http://jenniferprado.blogspot.com

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Dec 18, 2008

Monica rated it

I liked this book. I like the author's voice, and, well, I felt like she went on tangents too many times, I liked her honesty, especially about her relationship w/ her husband. I sobbed near the end of it, though - not over the author (I'm not revealing how her health finally winds up), but over my own loss of my mother to breast cancer in 1997 (she was first diagnosed when she was only 36, and I was 15 or 16). It's funny - reading this book, I was more thinking about myself and avoiding canc...more

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Jun 05, 2011

Briana Dorley rated it

JUST READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

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Nov 15, 2008

Jennifer rated it

I enjoyed this book very much. While the subject matter is frightening and often sad, the overall message is uplifting and the author injects a lot of humor into her story. The thoughts and feelings that go through her mind as she deals with her diagnosis, treatment, and recovery are insightful and relatable, and the overall message of appreciating one's life and all it's blessings really resonated with me.

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Nov 01, 2008

Terri Barrentine rated it

This is a book for people who just want to appriciate life I found myself actually laughing out loud which I did not think would happen from the title. Gail Konop Baker is very witty, funny and can really speak directly to the reader I hope she writes more books I will be first in line to buy them.

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Aug 09, 2008

Caroline rated it

This memoir, based on Gail's wonderful Literary Mama column, Bare- Breasted Mama, is funny, frank, and poignant. It's a terrific, uplifting story, that will speak to anyone who's ever been a mother, or a wife, or a writer, not to mention its relevance to anyone who's been touched by cancer.

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Dec 02, 2008

Hillary rated it

Shelves: 2008

A raw, honest, emotional memoir with one woman's recount of her breast cancer experience. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get through the book given the subject matter, but I found the author's tone and witty writing refreshing and easy to read. Definitely recommend.

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Oct 06, 2008

Bob rated it

This gets you inside the head and heart of a person dealing with the dreaded cancer diagnosis. Baker doesn't mince words; we get what seems like the unvarnished essence of her thoughts and emotions. And she writes beautifully.

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Oct 11, 2008

Katie Schwartz rated it

Shelves: books-i-ve-fallen-in-love-with

I read Cancer is a Bitch twice and I absolutely loved it. I even blogged about it here. http://katieschwartz.blogspot.com/2008/0...

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Nov 18, 2008

Meredith rated it

Recommends it for: anyone who is a woman or loves woman in their life.

An honest and funny portrait of a woman whose life is knocked askew by her breast cancer diagnosis. A must read!

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May 20, 2008

Jess Riley rated it

This wonderful memoir from my fellow Deb Gail Konop-Baker will be out in fall of 2008...I can't wait to read it!

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Oct 20, 2008

Lesa rated it

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Jan 27, 2012

Liralen marked it as to-read

Shelves: non-fiction

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About Gail Konop Baker

author of the forthcoming memoir CANCER IS A BITCH Or, I'd Rather Be Having a Midlife Crisis (Da Capo October 2008)

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First online review: http://katieschwartz.blogspot.com/

Booklist: "wrenchingly authentic... down-to-earth account."

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Quotes from Cancer is a Bitch

“I want to be brave. I want to be big. I want to be gracious and cool. I want to be the Audrey Hepburn of cancer. ” — 17 people liked it

“I’ll start in the middle: Winter 2006:
I’m sitting topless in the oncologist’s office on Valentine’s Day. Cancer is a bitch. It doesn’t give a shit about holidays.” — 6 people liked it

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Cancer is a Bitch (or, I'd Rather Be Having a Midlife Crisis)

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