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How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
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How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

4.16  ·  Rating Details  ·  91 Ratings  ·  40 Reviews
I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known a 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has a good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happin ...more
Paperback, 252 pages
Published August 20th 2000 by Writer's Showcase Press (first published July 24th 2000)
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(showing 1-30 of 369)
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Petra X
May 05, 2015 Petra X marked it as books-reviewed-but-not-read
Edit. The book has arrived and I want to share the first paragraph with you all. It is 7* with a bucket rocket!

"I think it is effective to cure or prevent depression and become happy-healthy-efficient that you
(1)constrict anus 100 times in succession and dent navel 100 times in succession after constricting anus 100 times in succession everyday following the life style of long-lived British as possible
(2)sometimes turn to bay throwing away pride-welcome a insult or fall into the hell voluntarily
Books Ring Mah Bell
Sep 13, 2013 Books Ring Mah Bell rated it liked it
Shelves: funny
THIS IS UNRATEABLE. I have NO IDEA what to do with this book, rating-wise or review-wise. I am stumped. Maybe I need to not worry about "petty tyrants" and start shooting out dirty fibers and make ** several times a day.

Fun fact: a happy, healthy anus should look like sun, radiating beams.

(before reading)

Oh, Hiroyuki! You make sound so simple!

No Prozac, Zoloft, Elavil, Desipramine; Nortriptyline; Cymbalta, Effexor,
Trazodone; Paxil, or Wellb
Joshua Nomen-Mutatio
Sep 21, 2010 Joshua Nomen-Mutatio marked it as too-insane-for-reading

Lane Wilkinson
Jan 22, 2010 Lane Wilkinson rated it it was amazing
I no longer depression thank you to the author who has reliably shown that constriction of anus 100 daily times makes vigor, anti-aging, good complexion, beauty treatment, intuition, hair, conjugal affection. My learning in that constriction of anus 100 daily times gives me Business CEO mentality intuition. Don't believe in? 89 year old man have 6 vigorous bowel movements each day because of goodbye-depression with not much discharge from abdomen. Constrict anus 100 daily times and soon only 5 m ...more
Sep 16, 2007 Vann rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Benji Cossa
I got this book as a joke when I worked at the bookstore. It is basically a collection of emails sent to this guy regarding his cure for depression and then (I'm guessing) translated using some really wonky Japanese-to-English computer program, resulting in a book that works pretty well as an avant garde novel. Reading it, I tried his method and found it quite effective. If you can count the times you flex your butthole up to a hundred without busting out laughing, then you must be really bummed ...more
Colin Tate
Feb 19, 2012 Colin Tate rated it it was amazing
This is an incredibly funny book that details how you can beat depression. It is written by a guy who I genuinely think means well, but the fact that English isn't his native language, plus lashings of absolutely stonking levels of crazy (well-meaning crazy), creates a book that has left me and my friends in hysterical tears.

I'm just going to flip open to any page, and I'll type in the first paragraph I come across:

"It is easy to erase your sticky immaterial like a soft jelly in your muscle, but
Nov 07, 2009 Soami marked it as to-read-misc
How could I pass this up? Joining goodreads was indeed worth my while :P
Oct 11, 2015 Evie marked it as to-read
I want to read this book so badly.
Mar 20, 2016 Anya marked it as to-read
Goodbye Lexapro, hallo Anus constriction. Thank you for saving me from long medical bills.
Jan 25, 2010 Victoria rated it it was amazing
If you want to prove the idea that anyone can get published, I urge you to buy this book. It is written in of sorts. I can't even describe it to you, just try reading any description of it and that should tell you everything you need to know. It still makes me laugh years after a friend found it online (she now owns the only copy we know of!). Entertaining and sad (heavy on the sad side).
Oct 09, 2011 Fred rated it it was amazing
This book is the greatest book since Macho Business Donkey Wrestler by Jimmy James, albeit the Super Karate Monkey Death Car doesn't try to park in his spot. Reading this book will goodbye depression.

Sure, some people will read to the end to find out that "your third attention that hides within your body is like a smoke in a treasure-chest. How to recognize and handle it for you. Erasing stickiness make it appear from your body." But the beauty of this book is the journey.

Some of the best comme
Mar 24, 2010 Aaron rated it it was amazing
This book changed my life. Literally.
I mean, with groundbreaking ideas that the "liberal elitist media" seek to discredit, such as:
"Many kinds of sticky, feverish, cold or numb immaterial clouds are floating above our head and our houses. They are running sticky, feverish, cold or numb energy into our bodies so as to weaken or kill us. To set ourselves free or cure diseases of ours or of others, we have to cut the pipe between us and such a cloud."


That was my head exploding. I can't believe
Oct 09, 2012 Charlotte marked it as if-you-recommend-this-i-ll-bite-you

Dear Hiroyuki Nishigaki, THANK YOU HEARTILY for lengthening my lifespan by about eight years thanks to the laughter you bestowed upon me.

HOW TO GOOD-BYE DEPRESSION... ahhh, I won't even comment on the rest of the title.

Thank you, sir.
Aug 08, 2012 Kim marked it as to-read
Shelves: what-the-hell
I have strong butt muscles now from constrictanus-ing my anus 100 times.
What am I saying. What the HELL?!
Feb 21, 2008 JT rated it it was amazing
I learned that to constrict anus 100 times is indeed malarky, but well worth the time.
Seizure Romero
Jan 31, 2016 Seizure Romero marked it as limbo
Recommends it for: anyone who wants to burn out the dirty stickiness & shoot out immaterial fiber, of course.
Aug 22, 2014 D.J. rated it it was amazing
Saved my life.
Aug 29, 2010 Rob marked it as possibly--possibly-not
Shelves: humor
God as my witness, I don't know where to put this…in my categories, that is. But my anus seems to be constricting just thinking about it.

The thing I'd love to know, if anyone cares to inform me (I doubt I'm ever going to run across this in my library) is this: does the blurb give the entire 'plot' away?
Carol Barnier
Sep 01, 2014 Carol Barnier rated it really liked it
You don't read this for the content. you read it for unintended humor. The author wrote it in Japanese and then used a non-human translator to put it into English, which makes for some of the funniest reading you'll ever find.

This book has developed a cult following!
Scott Bauer
Mar 25, 2010 Scott Bauer rated it it was amazing
I was sure that constricting my anus 100 times a day would be pure malarkey but I couldn't have been more wrong. This book showed me the way to a knew lifestyle free of depression and un-constricted anuses.
Sep 08, 2012 Claire marked it as will-not-read
LOL Ok now that I have calmed down a bit, I can say that I marked this as a will not read because, let's me honest, I'll probably never get to it. LOL still laughing.
Sep 09, 2008 Andy rated it it was amazing
Shelves: humor
Translation software in its infancy was a laughing matter and so is this book. Join the Anus 100 club!
Kevin Way
Feb 24, 2014 Kevin Way rated it it was ok
Surprisingly, this is not the worst book I've ever read.
Jul 29, 2015 Rebel. added it
Shelves: wtf
Apr 03, 2015 Gena rated it it was amazing
A masterpiece of psychedelic malarkey.
Jonathan Casey
A hilarious mess.
Dec 09, 2011 Marvin marked it as to-read
No, I do not actually intend to read this book but I really have to comment on the idea. I have worked as a therapist for decades and have plenty of experience dealing with depressive episodes (theirs and mine). If constricting your anus 100 times every day actually works I'm all for it but, if it does, it's going to put a lot of people out of work!

Oct 27, 2013 LemontreeLime rated it liked it
Someone handed me this and said you simply wont believe it. And well... i certainly didn't expect it. The subtitle on the cover didn't sink in until several weeks later. I give it three stars for bravery. (they recommend doing something like this in yoga so i guess its relatively.. normal.. i really have no idea.)
Sep 10, 2008 John rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Goodbying Depression people without malarkey
This so unintentionally funny. I highly recommend hunting down a copy. It may be kinda hard to find by now though....
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“Besides shooting out a big blank from your buttock, you can feel as if your root chakra leaked sweet hot mucus. ” 9 likes
“I think it is effective to constrict your anus 100 times, dent your navel 100 times in succession everyday. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway without being noticed for you to do so. I have known 70 year old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness, and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance.” 4 likes
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