Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other (Studies in Jungian Psychology By Jungian Analysts, 79)
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Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other (Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts #79)

4.53 of 5 stars 4.53  ·  rating details  ·  159 ratings  ·  13 reviews
"The author's challenge is compassionate and inspired. He wants us to succeed." -Psychological Perspectives A timely and thought-provoking corrective to the generalized fantasies about relationships that permeate Western culture. Here is a challenge to greater personal responsibility, a call for individual growth as opposed to seeking rescue through others.
Paperback, 160 pages
Published September 1st 1998 by Inner City Books
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Barb Roddy
An accurate understanding of what love isn't. There is no magical other. Young girls will resist his message, older women will recognize it as true.
Michael Rusk
The book took me a long time to read. It is deceptively small but packs so much thought provoking material into its pages sometimes I would find myself backing up and rereading a page or two to absorb the full impact of a statement.

"A Jungian Perspective on Relationship" intimidated me. My only class in Psychology was all about Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung was not mentioned. It's a shame. After reading this book I have a new interest in reading more of his original writing. A friend has suggested...more
Heather Buelow
Basic principles of this book that I feel most adults already know:
1. There is no Disney reality of love or soulmate. Relationships are ongoing decisions.
2. Past relationships affect future relationships, and early relationships (ie parent/child) are most likely to be formative.

Wish the book weren't written so esoterically for such basic ideas. The takeaway message is simply: figure out what past experiences are shaping your current ones so that you can live more freely in the present.

I agree wi...more
Bruce
"If there is a single idea which permeates this essay it is that quality of all our relationships is a direct function of our relationship to ourselves.....The best thing we can do for our relationship with others is to to render our relationship to ourselves more conscious." Fair enough. Hollis takes it many steps forward by advocating a "disinterested" type of love, as oppposed to anything that might smack of idealized romanticism. Idiosyncratic yet somewhat compelling. Interestingly, he twice...more
Paul Sbrizzi
A rich and detailed and explanation of how complexes arising from our childhood traumas and the basic experience of separation from mother get played out in our adult relationships. The author is a renowned Jungian scholar and analyst, and uses quotations from poetry and literature to cast light on his thoughts.
Ricky
An excellent book on the dynamics involved in intimate relationships. I know of none better. It looks at the nature of projection and the importance of relationships in our attempts to grow. It can be challenging and insightful to help you separate yourself from the "magical other" so you can be true to yourself.
Nern
Jungian psycho-emotional essay about our lifelong quest to return to the state of connectedness we felt in a uterus, and how that sends us into misguided romantic relationships searching for our "magical other". Have fun.
Coloradobob
This book is a fascinating "Awakening" and may save me from myself. More later, 1/2 read. Already know I must read it more than once to understand it better, perhaps never fully.
Ron
I've taken courses by him at the Jung Center in Houston, and he's a great mind and teacher. This book talks about the rough but enlightening road of accepting another's other-ness.
Lily
The perfect compliment to Mark Epstein's book. Reading this one alone can feel sobering and desolate. Open to Desire puts the joy back in. Fascinating theories though.
Carol
Another valuable contribution, this time from a Jungian perspective, on the importance of differentiation in long term relationships
Sandy
Dec 24, 2013 Sandy rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: all therapists
Recommended to Sandy by: James Hollis
How can Hollis be thanked for such an eye-opening, profound book? I'm grateful for what I learned in this excellent book.
Trish
Theoretical book about how our ego and our childhood affects our relationships.
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James Hollis, Ph. D. is Executive Director of the Jung Center of Houston, TX, a practicing Jungian Analyst (psychotherapy developed by C.G. Jung - the eminent Swiss psychiatrist), and author of eleven books.
More about James Hollis...
Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up The Middle Passage: From Misery to Meaning in Midlife (Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts, 59) Why Good People Do Bad Things: Understanding Our Darker Selves What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life Swamplands of the Soul: New Life in Dismal Places (Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts, 73)

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“When one has let go of that great hidden agenda that drives humanity and its varied histories, then one can begin to encounter the immensity of one's own soul. If we are courageous enough to say, "Not this person, nor any other, can ultimately give me what I want; only I can," then we are free to celebrate a relationship for what it can give.” 13 likes
“The search for fusion regularly gives rise to various symptoms. Our own psyche knows what is right for us, knows what is developmentally demanded. When we use the Other to avoid our own task, we may be able to fool ourselves for awhile, but the soul will not be mocked. It will express its protest in physical ailments, activated complexes and disturbing dreams. The soul wishes its fullest expression; it is here, as Rumi expressed it, 'for its own joy.'
Let's continue the fantasy of finding an Other willing to carry our individuation task for us. Well, in time, that Other would grow to resent us, even though he or she was a willing signatory to the silent contract. That resentment would leak into the relationship and corrode it. No one is angrier that someone doing 'the right thing' and secretly wishing for something else.”
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