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27th out of 51 books
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25 voters
Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other (Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts #79)
by
James Hollis
"The author's challenge is compassionate and inspired. He wants us to succeed." -Psychological Perspectives A timely and thought-provoking corrective to the generalized fantasies about relationships that permeate Western culture. Here is a challenge to greater personal responsibility, a call for individual growth as opposed to seeking rescue through others.
Paperback, 160 pages
Published
September 28th 1998
by Inner City Books
(first published September 1998)
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The book took me a long time to read. It is deceptively small but packs so much thought provoking material into its pages sometimes I would find myself backing up and rereading a page or two to absorb the full impact of a statement.
"A Jungian Perspective on Relationship" intimidated me. My only class in Psychology was all about Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung was not mentioned. It's a shame. After reading this book I have a new interest in reading more of his original writing. A friend has suggested...more
"A Jungian Perspective on Relationship" intimidated me. My only class in Psychology was all about Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung was not mentioned. It's a shame. After reading this book I have a new interest in reading more of his original writing. A friend has suggested...more
"If there is a single idea which permeates this essay it is that quality of all our relationships is a direct function of our relationship to ourselves.....The best thing we can do for our relationship with others is to to render our relationship to ourselves more conscious." Fair enough. Hollis takes it many steps forward by advocating a "disinterested" type of love, as oppposed to anything that might smack of idealized romanticism. Idiosyncratic yet somewhat compelling. Interestingly, he twice...more
Jungian psycho-emotional essay about our lifelong quest to return to the state of connectedness we felt in a uterus, and how that sends us into misguided romantic relationships searching for our "magical other". Have fun.
An accurate understanding of what love isn't. There is no magical other. Young girls will resist his message, older women will recognize it as true.
Another valuable contribution, this time from a Jungian perspective, on the importance of differentiation in long term relationships
An excellent book on the dynamics involved in intimate relationships. I know of none better. It looks at the nature of projection and the importance of relationships in our attempts to grow. It can be challenging and insightful to help you separate yourself from the "magical other" so you can be true to yourself.
A rich and detailed and explanation of how complexes arising from our childhood traumas and the basic experience of separation from mother get played out in our adult relationships. The author is a renowned Jungian scholar and analyst, and uses quotations from poetry and literature to cast light on his thoughts.
Apr 26, 2012
Coloradobob
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This book is a fascinating "Awakening" and may save me from myself. More later, 1/2 read. Already know I must read it more than once to understand it better, perhaps never fully.
I've taken courses by him at the Jung Center in Houston, and he's a great mind and teacher. This book talks about the rough but enlightening road of accepting another's other-ness.
The perfect compliment to Mark Epstein's book. Reading this one alone can feel sobering and desolate. Open to Desire puts the joy back in. Fascinating theories though.
Theoretical book about how our ego and our childhood affects our relationships.
May 13, 2013
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James Hollis, Ph. D. is Executive Director of the Jung Center of Houston, TX, a practicing Jungian Analyst (psychotherapy developed by C.G. Jung - the eminent Swiss psychiatrist), and author of eleven books.
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“When one has let go of that great hidden agenda that drives humanity and its varied histories, then one can begin to encounter the immensity of one's own soul. If we are courageous enough to say, "Not this person, nor any other, can ultimately give me what I want; only I can," then we are free to celebrate a relationship for what it can give.”
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9 people liked it
“The search for fusion regularly gives rise to various symptoms. Our own psyche knows what is right for us, knows what is developmentally demanded. When we use the Other to avoid our own task, we may be able to fool ourselves for awhile, but the soul will not be mocked. It will express its protest in physical ailments, activated complexes and disturbing dreams. The soul wishes its fullest expression; it is here, as Rumi expressed it, 'for its own joy.'
Let's continue the fantasy of finding an Other willing to carry our individuation task for us. Well, in time, that Other would grow to resent us, even though he or she was a willing signatory to the silent contract. That resentment would leak into the relationship and corrode it. No one is angrier that someone doing 'the right thing' and secretly wishing for something else.”
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3 people liked it
More quotes…
Let's continue the fantasy of finding an Other willing to carry our individuation task for us. Well, in time, that Other would grow to resent us, even though he or she was a willing signatory to the silent contract. That resentment would leak into the relationship and corrode it. No one is angrier that someone doing 'the right thing' and secretly wishing for something else.”
