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Bored Of The Rings (Cardboard Box of the Rings #3)

3.12  ·  Rating Details ·  5,024 Ratings  ·  366 Reviews
Sometimes childish, sometimes rude, always clever and always very, very funny this book has delighted most, and outraged a few, Tolkien fans in the US for nearly 30 years. Pulling in references to popular culture and fantasy literature as a whole this is a killingly effective parody of Lord of the Rings. From the dreary Goddamn (Gollum), to the feckless Arrowroot (Aragorn) ...more
Paperback, new edited edition, 240 pages
Published October 9th 2003 by Gollancz (first published 1969)
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Liz You could ask the authors, but I'll wager their answer would be something like "we were too blasted out on LSD and booze and sex with elf maids while…moreYou could ask the authors, but I'll wager their answer would be something like "we were too blasted out on LSD and booze and sex with elf maids while writing that to remember the word count, and we wrote it on a type writer because it was 1969, so we can't exactly just pull the document back up on a computer and look up the word count. Sorry buster...but thanks for buying our book! Cha-ching!" (less)
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Community Reviews

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Heidi The Hippie Librarian
The clever parts of this so-so parody of The Lord of the Rings trilogy were the character names and the map on the first two pages. The rest was repetitive and silly nonsense, but the map especially was inspired.

At the front of most science fiction or fantasy novels, the author provides a map, usually hand-drawn, of their world, the different countries, the rivers, mountains, dragon hoards, what-have-you from the story. Tolkien's was particularly detailed and it was clear that he put a lot of ti
K.D. Absolutely
There are quite a few funny scenes particularly when the book makes fun of the Tolkien characters by incorporating sex innuendos. Imagine Frito (Frodo) having a hard-on with an elf-maiden. When I picture in my mind the scene with Elijah Wood and Liv Tayler then the scene becomes alive and funny.

As a parody, the story follows the same as the one of Tolkien's trilogy The Lord of the Rings minus some details and characters. However, you can still follow this book’s a-lot-shorter story, if you’ve re
This is an extremely out-to-left-field parody of a timeless fantasy classic. Full of horrible puns, cheap shots and droll tongue-in-cheekery, it will infuriate purists and delight others.
Jan 31, 2008 Chris rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: top-shelf, humor, fantasy
Ahhhh.... the sweet, sweet scent of true comedy.

The first time I read this, I nearly soiled myself laughing. As with all comedy, repetition kind of diminishes the effect, but there are still laughs to be had. Just from the beginning, when Dildo Bugger throws a party for the gluttonous freeloaders of the Sty, and the foists his Magic Ring off on his hapless nephew Frito, you know things can only go wacky.

The folks at Harvard Lampoon did a brilliant job here, warping the characters of the original
Unsubtle, gross, stupid, mechanical, but quite often funny. My favorite line, which I often quote when hungry:

"This better be food, 'cause I'm gonna eat it"

And I liked Deus Ex Machina Airlines too. And the introduction. And the Council of Elrond, where Frito suggests just dropping the Ring down a storm drain, or pawning it and losing the ticket.

OK, OK, I admit it - there is a lot of amusing material.

Mar 12, 2008 Jen rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: the pimply, Tolkien-loving fourteen year-old boy in many of us
Tolkien's works were sacred and beloved in my family when I was growing up, and this Harvard Lampoon lampoon of the trilogy was outright HERESY--*hilarious* heresy, that is.

The Harvard Lampoon was the late 1960s precursor to National Lampoon (of "Animal House", "Vacation" and "Van Wilder" fame). Those boys at Harvard turned over every character, rock, and tree in Tolkien's universe, and exposed their lewd, gross, and satiric underbellies. Really, it's a salacious guffaw-fest fit for the pimply,
Feb 26, 2011 Mike rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everyone
Recommended to Mike by: Kenneth Russel, (RIP)
I almost gave this book a 5, and I may yet go back and alter the start count before completing this review. It's definitely worth at least a "4.5".

I first read this book when loaned a copy by a high school friend. Yes, I had read "The Hobbit" and the three volumes of "The Lord of The Rings" before picking up this slim, but powerful volume. As soon as I read it, I ordered two (yes, two) copies of the book from a long-since gone bookstore. Since that day, I try to maintain ownership of two copies
Nov 09, 2007 Thomas rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantasy
A thorough sendup of Tolkien's classic trilogy. Character names alone will crack you up. (After awhile you'll struggle to recall the real ones.) But I really enjoyed the points when the writing logic became childishly simple: "It started to rain, and they all caught colds." Still makes me laugh.
Apr 23, 2011 Cristian rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantasy, comedy
Outrageously hillarious :) This single quote pretty much describes the spirit of the book:

"In his hand he carried an ancient and trustworthy weapon, called by the elves a Browning semi-automatic."
John Jr.
For one who has never read J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings books, this comic takedown offers a fair amount of fun. But I've concluded that it's too ridiculous (deliberately ridiculous) to be properly appreciated without better knowledge of the target than I have. So I'm going to set it aside until I see enough appeal in the originals to plough through them--I'll resist speculating on why I've been immune to such fantasy so far--or (almost as unlikely) until I can watch the Peter Jackson LOT ...more
Mar 06, 2009 Amy rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: bookcrossing
Clever, but probably more fun if you actually really liked the original books. I must confess, that while I liked The Hobbit, I got a little fed up with the actual Ring books- Frodo was always saying "I know what I must do". I think the subtitle should have been "Seven guys take a long hike". The movies, though, did capture me. I think that tolkien was just a little too verbose for my tastes at times. Oh well.
King Ævil
Apr 15, 2007 King Ævil rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Devotees of Tolkien with a warped sense of humor
Shelves: humor, 2007
Perhaps my all-time favorite work of satire. Frito Bugger, a boggie from the Sty, is charged by his uncle Dildo and Goodgulf Greyteeth, a stage magician, to sneak the Ring of Power beyond the clutches of the Dark Lord Sorhed and the evil wizard Serutan and to destroy it in the hellish Zazu Pits of Fordor. This tale offers plenty of belly laughs for Tolkien aficionados and neophytes alike. Every beloved character of the Fellowship is reduced to a grotesque caricature who nevertheless gains the re ...more
Jun 23, 2008 Katie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Tolkein lovers
Recommended to Katie by: My dad, who read Tolkein to me
This book absolutely skewers Tolkein perfectly; it's even too long, while the original is too short. So why do I love it, when I treat the original like my Bible? Aside from the fact that it makes me laugh till I drool, even after all these years, I don't know. Because unlike most parodies, it's artful and lighthanded? Because the people are like little mirror-image character studies of Tolkein's? Because it even has poetry that parodies Tolkein's? Or just because of the long list of nasties who ...more
David Rawls
May 26, 2012 David Rawls rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Perhaps one of the best spoofs of the classic Tolkien trilogy that may ever be made. The adventures of Frito, Goodgulf, Stomper, Eorache and all of the others will leave any reader laughing into utter madness... I even still use the moniker "Farahslax" quite frequently when online, ever to be inspired by the classic song:

"We are stealthy Green Toupees
Skulking nights and snoozing days,
A team of silent, nasty men,
Who all think Sorhed's numbah ten.

Draw their fire
Flank on right
Narcs retire
Jan 25, 2016 Gavin rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Bleh. I'm all for parodies, in fact I love them. But they must be done well, and they really ought to either be a celebration or a roast. This one, however, just felt dumb. I'm not sure exactly what it was - maybe the humor is too outdated, maybe it reminded me too much of Pratchett and fell short, or maybe it really just isn't that great. Regardless, I was never able to get into it, and while there were a some laughs, they were few and far between.
Wayne Barrett
From what I can remember, this was a very good parody of The Lord of The Rings. and if memory serves me it is probably more a 3.5 star book.
Feb 05, 2012 Peter rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantasy
Spoof of Tolkien - I read it around the time i read LotR. It's the same story a trillion pages shorter with crass jokes.
Jul 31, 2011 Lyn rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Read this in high school and thought it was too funny, not sure how much I would like it now.
Apr 21, 2013 Marcin rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantasy, funny, lotr
Tolkien is thy master, Tolkien is right and the Silmarillion, LotR, short stories and Hobbit as well, make your bible. Thou shall never wrong thy masters words, thou shall never amuse yourself with his words 'cause they are the only truth... That seems to be the motto of all those die-hard Tolkien fans. Sure, recent movies might have changed the lot a bit, but when joining that herd be sure to follow those rules... but what if you're more into funny stuff? What if you know the LotR throughout, i ...more
'Bored of the Rings' quite honestly does have its funny moments. It's evident that the writers do indeed know how to write amusing satire. Unfortunately, true to their foreword, they don't bother proceeding thusly much beyond the first chapter, and even that is pushing it. Classic moments like Spam pocketing Frito's mithril-coated spoons are far outnumbered by rather crude brown--and occasionally, sexual--humour. Because why bother writing a *good* parody, when you can fill a few pages with chea ...more
Devon  Start
Feb 27, 2012 Devon Start rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: sci-fi
Really this could have been a lot funnier, but it was just stupid. None of the jokes have any thought put into them.. and really its just mean spirited. Dildo instead of bilbo..seriously i made the same joke in high school when i was kid.
Having aragorn be the lone ranger is so basic, these are like the simple easy jokes you are supposed to through away as too easy.
The hobbits are recast as basically goblins(sneaky little thieves) none of them are jolly or even likable. The parody names are just
Jul 31, 2013 Melanie rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Originally written in 1969, this has been slightly revamped and re-released for the release of The Hobbit films. Either that, or the people in 1969 were a little bit psychic and predicted both Jersey Shore and Instagram.

While I managed to reach the end of this book, it is largely because it is only 160 pages long. But in all honesty, it isn't for me. Maybe it's the humour (which isn't really my style, though I'll admit it was vaguely amusing in places) or maybe it's because I adore Lord of the R
Oct 29, 2012 Neale rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humour
I've known about this parody for as long as I can remember - it was published in the late 1960s, in response to the first American wave of hobbit-mania - but I never sought it out. Why would I? I naturally assumed that it was one of those tiresome 'Mad'-style parodies. The 'Harvard Lampoon' branding didn't help. Ha ha bloody ha. Not for me.

OK, so I've just found a copy, and looked into it. And I've laughed out loud half a dozen times in the first dozen pages. It's funny! And clever. And it could
May 02, 2012 Amanda rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Couldn't finish this book, and trust me that rarely happens. The "humor" was just too crude for my taste. Perhaps that is because I am a lover of classics and I adore the writing style of Tolkien, or maybe I just have a more "sophisticated" sense of humor (no offense intended to anyone. Matter of opinion and lack of a better word, that is all). The potty humor and sexual jokes just killed this book for me; thankfully most of the jokes went over my head. Sometimes it's nice to be naive. Not a boo ...more
Kerry Zukus
Mar 16, 2014 Kerry Zukus rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
My nominee for the single funniest parody of all time. This had to have been written in the late 60’s/early ‘70’s and it still induces pain in me when I read it; it’s that funny. My sides ache, my jaw aches; I simply have to put it down and then recuperate for days after. As one might guess, this takes a ribald rip at Tolkien’s Hobbit and Lord of the Rings trilogy. I actually know a guy who can quote this entire book, word for word, from memory, even after all these years.
Bill Gawne
Aug 07, 2015 Bill Gawne rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Long, long ago, when I was but a callow youth in high school, I read this book before ever I'd read anything by the venerable professor Tolkien. It was hilariously funny then, and having read it I laughed my way through LotR too. Many of the gags have gotten decidedly dated with the passage of years, but I'd still recommend it to any sarcasm loving teen looking for a good parody.
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
Incomprehensible twaddle to me! I'm afraid I just couldn't get into this book. I loved Lord of the Rings and thought this parody was a great idea but it was actually quite stupid and a big disappointment.
Mark Doornbos
Oct 16, 2014 Mark Doornbos rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Really funny book, made me laugh a lot.
Loved the scenes in the inn with the spying Nozdrul, the gathering of the fellowship and the way Arrowroot was presented: so brave, or, maybe, not so brave after all.
Also, the thesaurus was hilarious :).
Mike (the Paladin)
Okay first, I love the Lord of the Rings.

Now, I enjoyed this book, mostly for it's witthy humor which unfortunatly is often buried amid a lot of off color strained attempts at humor. Still I give it a 3 as it will give you some genuine laughs especially if you are familiar with the trilogy.
May 15, 2013 S H rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
The company stood rooted to the ground in terror. The creature was about fifty feet tall, with wide lapels, long dangling participles, and a pronounced gazetteer.
"Aiyee!" shouted Legolam. "A Thesaurus!"
"Maim!" roared the monster. "Mutilate, mangle, crush. See HARM."

Good Fun.
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“He would have finished Goddam off then and there, but pity stayed his hand. 'It's a pity I've run out of bullets,' he thought.” 4 likes
“And don't trouble yourself too much if you don't laugh at what you are about to read, for if you perk up your pink little ear, you may hear the silvery tinkling of merriment in the air, far, far away . . . . It's us, buster. Ching! 3 likes
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