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Breathing Lessons

3.63 of 5 stars 3.63 · rating details · 11,098 ratings · 568 reviews

Maggie and Ira Moran have been married for twenty-eight years–and it shows: in their quarrels, in their routines, in their ability to tolerate with affection each other’s eccentricities. Maggie, a kooky, lovable meddler and an irrepressible optimist, wants nothing more than to fix her son’s broken marriage. Ira is infuriatingly practical, a man “who should have married Ann...more

Mass Market Paperback, 368 pages

Published February 9th 2011 by Ballantine Books (first published January 1st 1988)

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Mar 28, 2012 K.D. Oliveros rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to K.D. by: Pulitzer

Shelves: drama, pulitzer

Breathing Lessons is about a couple, Maggie and Ira, who has been married for 28 years. Their son, Jesse, a father of a toddler, is facing a divorce. Their teenage daughter, Daisy is about to enter college so their house is now an empty nest.

Life is a journey and, for a spouse like me, marriage is that part of the journey where you are somebody paddling the boat with you. My daughter is also heading to college a couple of months from now. Although she will be still be staying with us, I know tha...more

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Dec 27, 2012 Vale rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: pulitzer, north-american-literature

Il romanzo di Anne Tyler, premio Pulitzer nel 1989, descrive la vita coniugale di Maggie e Ira Moran. La storia si snoda nell'arco di una giornata, ma è costellata di digressioni e flash back che educono il lettore sulla vita dei coniugi Moran e sui loro figli.
Si respira tanta tristezza in questo romanzo, Maggie, la protagonista, lotta con protervia affinché le cose cambino perché crede nei buoni sentimenti, mentre Ira, il marito neghittoso e disincantato, si esprime attraverso i testi delle ca...more

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May 20, 2009 Helynne rated it 2 of 5 stars

I enjoyed The Accidental Tourist so much that I was surprised that I found this book by Anne Tyler so much less enjoyable. Breathing Lessons won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 1989, which is a amazing honor. To tell you the truth, I can't really see that much merit in this book, although I will admit that Tyler's writing style is skillful. Nevertheless, this novel reminded me a little of Gustave Flaubert's philosophy when he began writing Madame Bovary. He said, "I want to write a book about...more

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Jul 06, 2008 Richard rated it 3 of 5 stars

. A novel. This book won Pulitzer Prize in 1988. Generally Pulitzer Prize winner’s books highlight some aspect of American Life. This book takes place in one day in Philadelphia area as a husband and wife travel by car to and from funeral of a friend. Various stops along the way and back highlight the dysfunction. The book consists of the conversations and actions of this husband and wife as they drive and the people they mix in with. They have a snotty high school senior daughter, and a divorce...more

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May 11, 2013 Nancy (NE) rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nobel-pulitzer, fiction

Pulitzer in 1989. Bittersweet story of a family, a marriage, a woman's life, both humorous and tragic in its dreams unrealized. I needed breathing lessons when I was done. I wasn't sure whether to smile or cry. Tyler offers a glimpse of the poignant emotional depths of ordinary living. Maggie Moran is the pivotal character. One who doesn't see her husband or her children with the clearest lens. She sees them as she wants them to be, not as they really are. She is also one who tries to fix things...more

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Jul 21, 2012 Lynai rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book is just so real, it feels like I'm reading an autobiography. More detailed write up coming up.

***UPDATE!!!***

I first came to know about Anne Tyler when K.D., a fellow book lover, posted on a thread in The Filipino Group that this author is one of his favorites. K.D. recommended three of Anne Tyler’s books – Breathing Lessons, Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant, and Accidental Tourist. I already have copies of the first two and on the hunt for the last one. I decided to read Breathing Le...more This book is just so real, it feels like I'm reading an autobiography. More detailed write up coming up.

***UPDATE!!!***

I first came to know about Anne Tyler when K.D., a fellow book lover, posted on a thread in The Filipino Group that this author is one of his favorites. K.D. recommended three of Anne Tyler’s books – Breathing Lessons, Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant, and Accidental Tourist. I already have copies of the first two and on the hunt for the last one. I decided to read Breathing Lessons first (although my friend said he liked Dinner more) because it’s a Pulitzer winner and it would be something worthwhile to read a Pulitzer, right?

Breathing Lessons is a story of a couple, Ira and Maggie Moran, who have been married for twenty-eight years. Ira is a silent man fond of whistling popular tunes and playing solitaire while Maggie is a little bit on the eccentric, getting involved into all kinds of debates (especially with Ira) and trying stick her nose into everybody’s business but always with good intentions. They are going to attend the funeral of a friend and along the way (and back) they discover that their seemingly ordinary lives are actually extraordinary.

I am married for only two months and twenty-one days. Before I finally decided to marry my first and only boyfriend, I asked myself whether I can live with this person for the rest of my life. I figured I could, considering that he knows how to cook (and I don’t), at least I won’t go hungry at all. What I love about this book is how it gives me a glimpse of what our married life will be after several years, after all our children have grown up, and we are left all alone again by ourselves. We are still on that giddy, on-a-high, exciting honeymoon stage, but I believe that ultimately our lives will fall into a pattern, a comfortable routine. And when that day comes, I will look back and think whether marrying Gian was really worth it. I believe it will be worth it.

Ira is a sweet character. I can say that I have a crush with his character. Why? My husband and Ira are so the same in most ways. Their quiet, unassuming nature. The way Ira is so patient with Maggie’s quirky ways. I am not quirky but I have a nasty temper and Gian’s patience is a balancing factor in our relationship.

Maggie, on the other hand, is a handful. Most of the parts in the book are actually told through Maggie’s viewpoint and her eccentricities are just so comically real. She is a typical mother who cannot find any fault with her children, especially her beloved Jessie. How she believes that Jessie and his ex-wife, Fiona, are still in love with each other and so made efforts into getting them back together. The outcome of her efforts are all so painfully hilarious you just have to feel sorry for her.

The book is divided into three parts, but what is totally unique with it is that all the events transpired only for one day. There are lots of recollections and flashbacks, but you wouldn’t be bored because the narrative is very delightful and witty and the dialogues are engaging, most especially because the scenes are just so funny.

Why Breathing Lessons? I actually do not know, I was busy laughing while reading, but the phrase was mentioned to refer to the breathing practices a pregnant woman must learn in order to prepare for childbirth. Until now, I still do not honestly know the significance of the title to the story (I am such a loser) but I really thoroughly enjoyed my first Anne Tyler book. It is the kind of book every adult will truly love.

Also posted in my book blog.
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Jun 12, 2007 Tamara rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

My favorite theme running through this book was the idea of "human wastefulness." It's not talking about physical wastefulness, but the idea that people waste so much time on things that don't matter. “For the past several months now, Ira had been noticing the human race’s wastefulness. People were squandering their lives, it seemed to him. They were splurging their energies on petty jealousies or vain ambitions or long-standing, bitter grudges. It was a theme that emerged wherever he turned, as...more

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Nov 29, 2008 Bev rated it 5 of 5 stars

I read this one a while back but wanted to make sure I added it to my list to round out the other Tyler books I have read recently. This book is a perfect example of Tyler's gift for characterizing everyday, ordinary people as flawed yet endearing in their quirkiness. Yes, Maggie can be awfully irritating in her botched attempts to fix things in the lives of her loved ones, yet you can't help but love her for her sincerity and goodness of heart. Her relationship with her long-time husband Ira is...more

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Sep 09, 2012 Nancy rated it 3 of 5 stars

When reviewing books with others--whether in text-based or face to face discussions--I am always irritated when readers don't like a book because they "don't like" certain characters in the book. I want to remind them that a) these people are, umm, fictional and b) a diverse mix of characters drives a story, makes it interesting. The truly gifted author fashions characters with weaknesses and flaws as well as strengths and charming bits--the fun is in watching the interplay. When a reader doesn'...more When reviewing books with others--whether in text-based or face to face discussions--I am always irritated when readers don't like a book because they "don't like" certain characters in the book. I want to remind them that a) these people are, umm, fictional and b) a diverse mix of characters drives a story, makes it interesting. The truly gifted author fashions characters with weaknesses and flaws as well as strengths and charming bits--the fun is in watching the interplay. When a reader doesn't like a protagonist because she's "too whiny," or can't find sympathetic traits or reasons why the bad guy acts as he does--or worse, proposes changes for a character's personality to make the story "better"-- I tend to disregard the reader, as someone who wants to read the same story, with the same stock characters, over and over.

And now--I'm going to be that person. Although I love Anne Tyler's work--thought "Accidental Tourist" was genius, and cried through "Coming to America"--the main character in this book was like fingernails on chalkboard, as I was reading Tyler's lovely, lucid writing. Maggie was the embodiment of all I dislike in women, real life or on the fictional page: completely self-deluded, sanctimonious, annoying, self-involved, wheedling, deceptive--all the while believing she was doing the right thing, talking sweetly. The thing is, I know women like Maggie--often women of an older generation, bewildered by the pace of societal change, fretful but unwilling to adapt, stuck in a set of values and loyalties that just don't work any more. Not bad people, but clueless.

And Maggie was the heart of the story, on stage every page. It was her meddling that drove all the action and flashbacks. As much as I liked the idea of the story--the single day, the connections between fatherless Serena and fatherless LeRoy, the aimless plotting-- it got to the point where I wanted Maggie to go away and not take up any more of my time. Tyler, as good as ever--5 stars. The experience of reading it? One star. You do the math.(less)

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Jun 06, 2012 Elaine Chaney rated it 4 of 5 stars

I recently read a book review about this book that said the characters portrayed in the book are all failures. I was surprised that some would view the book in that light and couldn't disagree more. I see the characters in this book as real live people who sometimes feel like they are failures and have their own individual faults, but they are real people who have learned, and are still learning, how to cope with situations life throws at them; or, situations that they themselves create.

Maggie...more

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May 15, 2012 Anna Ligtenberg rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

ISBN 042511774X - In most cases, you open a book expecting to like a character. Not necessarily a specific character, just anyone. You anticipate feeling empathy toward someone between the covers. Breathing Lessons disappointed me on that front. Not for good, but at first. In the first few pages, Maggie is just a scattered-brained, somewhat self-centered nitwit and Ira seems like an idiot to put up with her. This is an odd way to introduce characters, and if you are like me, you'll be tempted to...more ISBN 042511774X - In most cases, you open a book expecting to like a character. Not necessarily a specific character, just anyone. You anticipate feeling empathy toward someone between the covers. Breathing Lessons disappointed me on that front. Not for good, but at first. In the first few pages, Maggie is just a scattered-brained, somewhat self-centered nitwit and Ira seems like an idiot to put up with her. This is an odd way to introduce characters, and if you are like me, you'll be tempted to close the book quite early. Resist the temptation - it's worth it! I'm not going to spend a lot of time on the plot, which has been hashed over in reviews. The characters drive this book, anyway. Literally.

In Breathing Lessons, Maggie and Ira go through a fairly normal day in their lives on a drive to and from a funeral. Even the detours they take are clearly normal to them! They are a pair of caretakers. Maggie discovered this in herself as an 18 year old window cleaner at a nursing home - slowly, she began to spend more time communicating with the residents than cleaning the windows, finding she's good at this. Not only that, Maggie likes being needed - she likes fixing things for people and really seems to believe that they won't notice or mind! Her compulsive behavior - and her childish view of the world - is highlighted as they drive along and pass an Odometer Test. One eye on the odometer and one eye on the signs, Maggie starts flipping out when the two don't seem to jive perfectly. Telling Ira to slow down, she says "I'm not sure we're going to make it. See, here the seven comes, rolling up, up... and where's the sign? Where's the sign? Come on, sign! We're losing! We're too far ahead!" and when they pass the sign, "Whew! That was too close for comfort!", as if someone's life had been at stake.

Ira, on the other hand, is a caretaker by force. The day after Ira's graduation from high school, his father cried "weak heart" and proceeded to turn over the job of supporting the family to Ira. Two sisters, one mentally retarded and the other afraid of almost everything, and his father rely on Ira for everything. Without warning, the plans he'd had for his future are no longer possible. From this initial disappointment, he's gone on to learn that he can't control everything, that some things just are what they are and he has to accept them. On the other hand, Ira's responses to Maggie's interfering ways seem to range from annoyance to awe ("How do you accomplish these things?" he asks, when she manages to convinced their former daughter-in-law to spend the weekend with them.)

They've reached a place in their lives where their continued usefulness is in question and their accomplishments seem smaller than they'd meant them to be, back when the future was more in front of them than behind. Their daughter is about to leave for college, Maggie faces losing her job to better qualified employees, even their slacker son has finally moved out. Each one of them has been confronted by a similar thought. Their daughter asks Maggie, "Was there a certain conscious point in your life when you decided to settle for being ordinary?" Their son: " "I refuse to believe that I will die unknown," he had said to Ira once, and Ira, instead of smiling tolerantly as he should have, had felt slapped in the face." Patterns emerge, as Fiona leaves... twice. Maggie and Ira have gone in a circle, leaving and returning home - and they have plans to do it again tomorrow. Father-less daughters, sons and fathers who don't see eye to eye. One small thing I really enjoyed was Fiona - she was really the only one to call both Ira and Maggie on their behavior, but she got to seeming too self-righteous. When she began shouting at Jesse at the end, making up nonsense that Maggie hadn't said (that he slept with her soapbox, etc), by embellishing the truth (she'd said she saw him smelling it once), Fiona showed herself to be not-so-different from Maggie.

Having served a purpose for so long, having made that purpose central to your reason for living, and having had that purpose come to an end, what do you live for? At what point do you have to accept that all the plans you'd made for yourself and your future have to be put behind you - that whatever you've accomplished so far, that's the sum of your successes, the rest is just unfulfilled dreaming? In the end, Maggie asks the question and Ira answers and the eloquent way that solitaire - a running background theme throughout the book - becomes a metaphor for life was really very well done. This book requires some patience, but if you've got that, Breathing Lessons is a nice read.

- AnnaLovesBooks (less)

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Mar 04, 2012 Barbara Bryant rated it 4 of 5 stars

I can't really say more than thousands of people and the awarding of the Pulitzer Prize have already said. I read this book many years ago and returned to it when I saw it one day in the library where I work.

I remembered a scene from it near the beginning of the book where Maggie, the eccentric and truly hopeless wife in the couple portrayed here, has walked to the local garage to pick up the car for the day's trip to a funeral of an old friend. Suffused with the good feeling of finding a newly-...more I can't really say more than thousands of people and the awarding of the Pulitzer Prize have already said. I read this book many years ago and returned to it when I saw it one day in the library where I work.

I remembered a scene from it near the beginning of the book where Maggie, the eccentric and truly hopeless wife in the couple portrayed here, has walked to the local garage to pick up the car for the day's trip to a funeral of an old friend. Suffused with the good feeling of finding a newly-spruced-up car, a sense of competent independence and the good feeling of being well-prepared for the coming day, Maggie dives smartly straight out of the parking lot and into the path of a truck. I could feel every moment of this part of the story, having had similar but less-dramatic turns of fate on what felt like a perfect day. The scene is truly hilarious and there are many scenes like it in the book, all with this combination of genuine humor and real tragedy.

The book revolves around Maggie, a woman who made me want to lock her up to prevent further damage, and her family--her sensible husband, her independent daughter about to set off for college on the following day and her beloved son, a charming but incomplete young man with no real gifts except the ability to deceive himself.

Maggie wants to have a better relationship with everyone in her family, but is so scattered that the best she can do is to make everything infinitely worse, really painfully so. In fact it is sometimes so painful that it is difficult to read, though it is coupled with scenes of excruciating humor, the kind that you almost wish you didn't have to watch, like viewing an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, with Larry David about to do another unthinkable thing that will make you cover your face and peek with terrible fascination as the scene unfolds.

The knowledge that Maggie will help to further wreck lives, like those of her son and his ex-wife and daughter, as well as numerous strangers she comes into contact with, is truly sad, even mixed with humor as it is. It is so perfectly written and conceived that you are lost in admiration for this writer, who tells such a basically simple story, but one you will have to live with for some time to come, so memorable are its characters and narrative.

Anne Tyler always makes me sad, I guess, and I can't read her often despite finding her so wonderful a writer. As I get older it is harder to be reminded of the unhealed pains of life that never seem to end. They may not be as ill-conceived as the ideas Maggie has to bring together everyone in her life and fix everything for them, but they are familiar nonetheless to those of us who have made mistakes in our lives. I'm glad I read it again but it will stay with me awhile as a remembrance of past events in my own life.(less)

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Aug 20, 2011 Tania Brzovic rated it 5 of 5 stars

I am a huge Anne Tyler fan - I want to read her entire collection. Because this novel won a Pulitzer, I was concerned it would not live up to the hype. My concerns were unwarranted. Tyler is a highly skilled writer who is able to take ordinary people and make them both unique and interesting. She has a very important message to give readers about love, marriage, and life. The main characters are at a stage in their lives where they are looking back and trying to figure out how they got to be whe...more I am a huge Anne Tyler fan - I want to read her entire collection. Because this novel won a Pulitzer, I was concerned it would not live up to the hype. My concerns were unwarranted. Tyler is a highly skilled writer who is able to take ordinary people and make them both unique and interesting. She has a very important message to give readers about love, marriage, and life. The main characters are at a stage in their lives where they are looking back and trying to figure out how they got to be where they are, and where to go now.

I know many dislike Maggie Moran, but I didn't. I felt an incredible amount of empathy for her. She is a good person who only wants to give the people she loves hope. She sees the best in people and wants them to live up to the potential she knows they have. She is the eternal wide-eyed optimist. Clearly, Maggie is feeling lost at the thought of having an empty nest. If she doesn't someone to take care of, she doesn't know who she is or how to live. She's lost at the thought of facing middle age. Ira is also a great character. He's Maggie's opposite. He's a pragmatic, grounded, realist. They both have regrets about their past choices, and they need to find a way to let those go and keep moving, so that the rest of their lives can have meaning.

I loved the use of flashbacks in the novel. Tyler really showed the different perspectives of the characters, and she enlightened the reader as to how they came to be the people they are. I couldn't imagine Maggie or Ira turning out any differently, given their families of origin. I didn't like how Ira treated his son, Jesse, but I could understand it, because Tyler gives me enough background about Ira's youth to make it fit. I could feel the love and connection between Maggie and Ira, even when they were at their most frustrated with each other. There's a wonderful line in a Reader's Digest essay on love I once read that sums up Maggie and Ira's marriage: "We sometimes could have killed each other, but we never could have left each other." Maggie and Ira need each other's different perspectives.

There were a few things missing from the novel. I did wish at times that we could've had more information about what really happened between Jesse and his ex-wife. I still don't quite understand why they broke up, and I was intrigued by those characters enough that I want to know, even though I realized that this is Maggie and Ira's story. I also wanted to know more about Daisy. What was her place in the family? How did she interact with her mother? This is one of the few novels I've read that actually could have been longer.

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Jun 14, 2011 Jennifer rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, literature, tfpl-book-club

I read this novel for Book Club, and having never read Anne Tyler, was unsure what to expect. A few acquaintances told me they either hated it or disliked it so much that they didn't finish it, so I had a few qualms before starting. I'm glad to say that I actually came away with a positive feeling about it.

I suppose that I felt that a number of the characters (Maggie, Jesse) reminded me of members of my family, so I was able to easily get into the story. Maggie is the central character, and alth...more

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May 02, 2011 Lisa (Harmonybites) rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Those Who Love Domestic Drama

Recommended to Lisa (Harmonybites) by: Liz's Gift

Shelves: contemporary, literary-fiction, humor-and-comedy, romance, fiction, novels

I wasn't very taken with the novel at first. Maggie and her bickering with her husband, Ira, exasperated me--as it did her husband. But his affection for her was evident by the end of the first chapter, and by then I felt a similar emotion for this middle-aged American Emma. Like Austen's Emma, Maggie does real damage with her interference--but does have heart.

The story was studded by flashbacks in the midst of this tale of a day in which Maggie and her husband of 28 years travel to the funeral...more I wasn't very taken with the novel at first. Maggie and her bickering with her husband, Ira, exasperated me--as it did her husband. But his affection for her was evident by the end of the first chapter, and by then I felt a similar emotion for this middle-aged American Emma. Like Austen's Emma, Maggie does real damage with her interference--but does have heart.

The story was studded by flashbacks in the midst of this tale of a day in which Maggie and her husband of 28 years travel to the funeral of the husband of Maggie's best friend Serena--and take a detour to visit their son's divorced wife and their granddaughter. Parts from Maggie's perspective bookend a part from Ira's point of view, forming a meditation upon love and marriage. I remember first being charmed by the story of Maggie's crush on one of the nursing home patients where she's an aide. She fantasizes about this courtly man at times when she's feeling sour about her marriage, only to realize that what she loves in the man is that he's like Ira. Maggie is meddlesome and ditzy, her husband tactless and aloof, but both of them are good people, and the novel is filled with sharp insights and warm humor.

For all that, I didn't lose my heart to the book, and unless I love the other two novels in the omnibus edition I own more (Accidental Tourist and Searching for Caleb) I doubt it'll remain much longer on my bookshelf. That isn't the fault of the book, really but it's just this isn't quite the kind of book I love. It never made me spellbound with the prose, or tempted me to dogear a page because of an unforgettable line, there's no twist. These aren't extraordinary people or ordinary people faced with the extraordinary, or set in an exotic land of long ago. They're just the people next door--written with insight and affection, but not quite what I look for in a novel. Rather this is what might be called "domestic drama." A The Corrections without the literary pretentiousness of style, and much more likeable characters.(less)

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Nov 18, 2010 Cindi rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010

I'm a fan of Anne Tyler. I think she is one of the most interesting character writers out there. Her characters and situations are realistic and true but she has such insight into human nature that she can make anything from adoption (Digging to America) to marriage (The Amateur Marriage) interesting.

I found a copy of Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler at the library book sale last month and I snatched it up. I finally got a chance to read it this week. It is similar to the other books that I've r...more

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Jul 08, 2009 Bobby rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I initially read this book when it was first published and so enjoyed it. I related to the way Maggie saw people as a glorified version rather than who they truly were, the way she saw the best in everyone. My daughter just said to me yesterday that I viewed everything from a glorified bubble where I saw only the best in everyone. In some ways that is not a bad place to be, but I could also relate to the vulnerabilities when one lives in such a bubble, the disillusionment and disappointments whe...more

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Jul 01, 2012 Kim rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: mt-tbr-challenge, buddy-reads-with-jemidar

This novel is a day in the life Maggie and Ira Moran, who have been married for 28 years. They start the day by attending a friend’s funeral and end it by dealing with the consequences of Maggie’s unstoppable impulse to involve herself in other peoples’ lives. Although the action of the novel is contained within that one day, the narrative explores the relationship between Maggie and Ira as they reflect upon their lives and their marriage.

Tyler is immensely skilled at creating memorable charact...more

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Jul 27, 2012 Eccentrika rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: adult, drama, existential

Questo è un lungo racconto di una giornata che sembra non finire mai. Un quadro di vita perfettamente riuscito, che tramite le azioni presenti e i flashback sul passato ricostruisce una vita intera. La vita di una comune famiglia media, i Moran. Gente all'apparenza normalissima, ma che l'autrice, con la sua maestria narrativa, sa rendere unici. Unici e pieni di difetti, con dei caratteri così diversi ed inconciliabili tra loro, che, come in passato, continueranno a sbagliare e a sbagliare ancora...more

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Apr 21, 2010 Vivien Fung rated it 1 of 5 stars

Look, maybe my rating is too harsh. Maybe when I'm 50-something, with kids, and am too well-meaning to face actual facts and listen to what people are actually saying before coming to conclusions and jumping to action, and am too intrusively optimistic to tell things truthfully (choosing instead to dress facts up in order to needle people into doing what I think they need to do), and am too indignant to ever admit liability or fault for anything, I will enjoy this book.

Until then, 1.5/5 (no half...more

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Jan 28, 2009 Marie Hertle rated it 4 of 5 stars

Though I laughed aloud frequently, I noted the self-defeating ways people hinder relationships. For example, I was reminded of several people advising me to never allow children to come between the marriage relationship. Maggie seemed to fall for Jesse's sweet talk far too often. Also, in relating to their children, Maggie seemed to see them through rose-colored glasses, whereas Ira seemed to never have anything positive to say about Jesse. Obviously, both of them approached Jesse from opposite...more

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Jan 29, 2011 Veronica rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: mooched, fiction

This made me think irresistibly of Emma. Just like Emma, Maggie cannot resist trying to "improve" other people's lives to fit the image she has of them - which, unfortunately has little relation to reality. I found Emma both aggravating and endearing -- she basically wants her friends to be happy and is just remarkably clumsy about it, but at least she has grown and developed by the end of the book. Maggie is just annoying, and has apparently been annoying all her life, seeming to learn little f...more

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May 11, 2013 Julie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: pulitzer-prize-for-fiction-winner

I bought this book in college, right after it won the Pulitzer in 1989. I started it and thought. . . yea, I really want to read about an old married couple, fighting in their car. I not only did NOT continue to read it, I sold it at a used book store.

But, there it was again last month, mine for a quarter at an estate sale. I reminded myself that it HAD won a Pulitzer, and I was determined to read it this time.

I still struggled with the first 25 pages. And, even though I realized the "old coupl...more

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May 17, 2010 Carrie rated it 3 of 5 stars

i'm reading all pulitzer women, and so come to Breathing Lessons, which is the pinnacle of the suburban-family-living-life-blindly-unaware-of-their-existential-angst genre. sounds pretty second wave feminism but, luckily, the self-deception and overall escapism is equal opportunity. fun for the whole family. It was good, but not exactly something you can't wait for the next BART ride to pick up again. Less about plot then overall mood and pattern. It did have a really nice description when the f...more

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Dec 31, 2010 Carrie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: pulitzer

This book reminds me of the intricacies of marriage and other relationships. Even though the ones we love infuriate or irritate us at times - we still love them - often for the very qualities they have that we lack. Some people might not like this book because it focuses on the minutiae of everyday life - in fact the 327 page story takes place in one 24-hour span of time.

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Sep 06, 2011 Donna rated it 4 of 5 stars

Like this author - likeable characters, the wife just can't seem to stay out of controlling everyone's life and gets into some situations.

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Jul 02, 2010 Sarah Sly rated it 2 of 5 stars

I really did not care for this book and had it not been for book club I may have not finished it and that says alot because I have never NOT finished a book. The only reason I gave it two stars versus one is because I was able to tolerate the ending.

I guess one of the reasons I didn't like this book was because I could not relate at all to the characters. I can relate more to a 13 year old wizard than I could to Maggie Moran (the main character).

Another reason I didn't like it was because I was...more

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Nov 02, 2009 Beth rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Just like the other 2 Anne Tylers I've read (Accidental Tourist and Saint Maybe), it's just incredibly well-written. Each character is like a living breathing person by the time you've finished the book, they are so vividly brought to life with all their ticks and shortcomings and endearments.

Ultimately, I see this book as the portrait of a marriage. A real marriage that's existed for 30-some years. Maggie and Ira drive each other crazy, know every little foible of the other, adore each other,...more Just like the other 2 Anne Tylers I've read (Accidental Tourist and Saint Maybe), it's just incredibly well-written. Each character is like a living breathing person by the time you've finished the book, they are so vividly brought to life with all their ticks and shortcomings and endearments.

Ultimately, I see this book as the portrait of a marriage. A real marriage that's existed for 30-some years. Maggie and Ira drive each other crazy, know every little foible of the other, adore each other, and perfectly complement each other. Where Maggie is almost infuriatingly rosy and optimistic and hopeful, Ira is almost infuriatingly matter-of-fact and serious. They keep each other in check in that way. They keep each other somewhere in the middle. Ira can't become too down or curmudgeonly, and Maggie isn't allowed to just float away on a dreamy cloud.

I loved the way they met. That whole flashback was just perfect story-telling with the name mix-up and the boring fiancé and the impending best friend's wedding. Loved it all.

The real sadness of the book to me was the disappointment of their children. It was sort of sadly sweet how Ira at some point describes the children as mostly being intruders in he and Maggie's private life together. Maggie is always wanting a party, more people, more confidences and romance and friends. But Ira wants things simple. He loves Maggie, he wants her around, and that's pretty much enough for him. But the kids are just such idiots. Daisy is such a wet rag, the only character that never seems fully fleshed out because that is literally her personality. She's almost inhuman with her obsession with perfection, her perfect grades and perfect organization and acting like an adult since she was just a little girl, prompting Ira to call her "Lady Baby" when she was born. She's so unappreciative of her parents and views them as nothing but an old boring couple who sometimes say or do embarrassing things.

And then Jesse. I feel like the reader is sort of strung along on Maggie's rose-colored view of Jesse from the outset of the novel. I wanted so much to like him, just for Maggie's sake. But in the end, of course, it seems like Ira's view of him is much more realistic. Seemingly heartlessly realistic, really. But also kind of understandably so for what Jesse has put them through. When Ira spoils everything for a possible reconciliation between Jesse and Fiona in the end, I sort of felt myself being Maggie in that moment, thinking, "Ira, stop talking, you're ruining everything!". But then, stepping back, I sort of felt like saying, "Go Ira. Jesse doesn't deserve an easy, fictionalized way out." Maggie is willing to bend the truth in order to bring Jesse and Fiona back together. Ira knows they need to find their own way or none at all. And I think he was right. How long could Maggie be the interloper mother who soothes the girlfriend in the kitchen while her son has stormed out of the house in some childish rage? Jesse and Fiona were two stupid kids really, and until they learn to get their own crap together, I was glad that Ira said what he said.

There are two very different relationships explored in the novel in a really interesting way. One, a solid relationship, and the other, a crazily shaky one. Both pairs fight constantly and misread what the other is saying and jump to conclusions too quickly. But Jesse and Fiona continually walk out on each other, vowing forever each time. And Maggie and Ira know for sure that the other one isn't going anywhere. (less)

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May 15, 2012 Jen rated it 3 of 5 stars

I came to this book because I read The Amateur Marriage a while ago and really enjoyed it. However although I enjoyed this book (it got me through a day in bed recovering from flu) I really don't rate it all that highly. I certainly wouldn't think it warranted Pulitzer Prize winning category, then again I often don't rate Oscar winning films. I liked the Virginia Woolf concept of a novel based around the events of one day but unfortunately that day dragged a little. Good character formation &...more

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Apr 29, 2008 Annie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I always feel a little sad when I finish a book. i miss the characters. Anne Tyler makes her characters so real and identifiable. There is a saying in the front of the book that says something like, "Life always seems to be changing and yet somethings never change." It is so true. I enjoyed this book.

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About Anne Tyler

Anne Tyler was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in 1941 and grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. She graduated at nineteen from Duke University and went on to do graduate work in Russian studies at Columbia University. The Beginner's Goodbye is Anne Tyler's nineteenth novel; her eleventh, Breathing Lessons , was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1988. She is a member of the American Academy of Arts and...more

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Quotes from Breathing Lessons

“I mean you're given all these lessons for the unimportant things--piano-playing, typing. You're given years and years of lessons in how to balance equations, which Lord knows you will never have to do in normal life. But how about parenthood? Or marriage, either, come to think of it. Before you can drive a car you need a state-approved course of instruction, but driving a car is nothing, nothing, compared to living day in and day out with a husband and raising up a new human being.” — 5 people liked it

“Why did popular songs always focus on romantic love? Why this preoccupation with first meetings, sad partings, honeyed kisses, heartbreak, when life was also full of children's births and trips to the shore and longtime jokes with friends? Once Maggie had seen on TV where archaeologists had just unearthed a fragment of music from who knows how many centuries B.C., and it was a boys lament for a girl who didn't love him back. Then besides the songs there were the magazine stories and the novels and the movies, even the hair-spray ads and the pantyhose ads. It struck Maggie as disproportionate. Misleading, in fact.” — 3 people liked it

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