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Suicide Notes

3.91 of 5 stars 3.91 · rating details · 3,334 ratings · 390 reviews

I'm not crazy. I don't see what the big deal is about what happened. But apparently someone does think it's a big deal because here I am. I bet it was my mother. She always overreacts.

Fifteen-year-old Jeff wakes up on New Year's Day to find himself in the hospital. Make that the psychiatric ward. With the nutjobs. Clearly, this is all a huge mistake. Forget about the band

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Hardcover, 295 pages

Published October 14th 2008 by HarperTeen (first published October 1st 2008)

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Feb 26, 2012 Stephen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: ya, 2006-2010, audiobook, humor-and-satire

This book is an stealthy, cat-like emotional NINJA...

The story started off all whistling and nonchalant like it was going to be a light dose of fluffy teenage angst. Then, halfway through, it crept up behind me, tapped me gently on the feelings and slipped silently into my core to snuggle...Ninja style.

We start off meeting 15 year old Jeff who has just awoken on New Year’s Day after a botched suicide attempt to find himself involuntarily committed to a mental treatment facility for 45 days. Of...more

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Dec 04, 2011 Nancy rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Nancy by: Thomas

Shelves: kids-and-teens, lgbt, mental-illness, suicide, library-books, favorites

Suicide Notes has 45 chapters, each one representing a day in the life of 15-year-old Jeff, who is in the psychiatric ward of a hospital after his suicide attempt on New Year’s Eve.

Trust me; this story is not nearly as depressing as it sounds.

Jeff is quick, witty, sarcastic, and absolutely hilarious as he manages to evade any “real” discussion with his psychiatrist, Dr. Katzrupus, also known as Cat Poop, about what made him try to kill himself.

During his 45-day “sentence”, Jeff learns more ab...more

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Jul 16, 2011 Wendy Darling rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Wendy Darling by: Maja

Shelves: male-ya-author, young-adult, read-2011, realistic-fiction, lgbt, hilarious, favorite-ya, male-pov

Believe it or not, this is actually a really funny book. You wouldn't think so based on the title and the subject, but 15-year-old Jeff will have you laughing out loud throughout his story. He's in a mental hospital because he tried to slit his wrists on New Year's Eve, he's surrounded by kids who are clearly crazier than he is, and his doctor (nicknamed "Cat Poop") doesn't seem to understand that there's nothing wrong with him and won't leave him alone. Neither will the various patients who com...more

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Sep 19, 2011 Lisa O. rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Lisa O. by: Maja

Shelves: favorites, ya-lit

What struck me most about this book - and unsettled me, to be honest - is the brutality of it, sugarcoated by Jeff's self-deprecating irony, witticism and sarcastic outlook on adolescence. He is one of those characters I particularly appreciate in teen lit for their no-nonsense attitude, for just telling things how they are. An honest, non-emo voice.

The themes approached in this book are not light, despite seemingly narrated in a light-hearted way: teen suicide, familial dysfunctions, personal...more

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Mar 17, 2012 Richard rated it 2 of 5 stars

Rating: 2.5* of five

All the points are for the ending, which is entirely worth the long, tedious, acne-inducing slog to get there.

Seriously...does the world NEED to hear about adolescence anymore? Is there something we missed, as adults, while going through that training ground for evil demons called "junior high" (that's middle school for the under-fifty set)? If so, is it something that we actually *need*?

Basically...no more. No no no. Poke me with a fork, I'm done.

Rating: 4* of five

The Publis...more

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Jul 18, 2012 Demonic Circus Princess rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: hilarious-as-hell, made-me-puke-rainbows-of-joy, makes-you-really-think, so-insanely-in-love-with, sounds-like-me

"Seven little crazy kids chopping up sticks;
one burnt her daddy up and then there were six.
Six little crazy kids playing with a hive;
One tattooed himself to death and then there were five.
Five little crazy kids going out to sea;
One wouldn't say a word and then there were three.
Three little crazy kids playing in the zoo;
One jerked himself too much and then there were two.
Two little crazy kids playing in the sun;
One took a bunch of pills and then there was one.
One little crazy kid left all alone;

...more

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Feb 16, 2009 Eric rated it 4 of 5 stars

Think, "Boy, Interrupted." Jeff slit his wrists, and now he's in the psych ward. He's got 45 days to process what he's going through, along with all the other whacked out kids that are in the ward with him.

Knowing the author, and the recommended blurbs on the back I could guess from the title what Jeff's motivation was to commit suicide. When I was his age I felt much the same thing. It's not very preachy, though the ending was a little too neat and tidy for me. You don't always just walk away...more

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Feb 13, 2009 Abby Johnson rated it 4 of 5 stars

On New Year's Day Jeff is taken to a psychiatric ward because he tries to kill himself. Jeff insists that he's not crazy - he doesn't see why everyone can't just get over it and leave him alone - but he's enrolled in a 45-day program at the hospital. He has to endure group therapy and sessions with Dr. Katzrupus (whom he nicknames Cat Poop). Jeff keeps insisting there's nothing wrong, but as his stay progresses and he gets to know some of the other kids on the ward Jeff just might start to figur...more

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Oct 27, 2011 Cory marked it as to-read

I'm not so sure I care to read about angry gay boys (or angry, angsty teens who don't have serious problems but treat people like shit *cough* Will Grayson *cough*) but I'll give it a shot. Hopefully, it doesn't disappoint like Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You. And it can't be worse than The Vast Fields of Ordinary.

All I know is that I've never seen the angry gay rich white boy thing done right.

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Jan 12, 2012 G rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is a great, great read with some sadness lurking below the dark humor. I thought it was killer!

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Jan 07, 2011 Whitney rated it 5 of 5 stars

I chose this book because it got my attition. The genre of this book is Realaistic. Suicide notes take place in a metal hospital. Jeff tried to kill himself and his mom found him almost dead in his bathroom because there was blood all over the floor and outside the door and so his mom went and found him... he was put into the mental hospital for 45 days. Jeff is very friendly toward everyone. On new years jeff had drank at a party and did something really bad and so he went home and tried to kil...more

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Apr 19, 2012 Laura (All of Everything) rated it 5 of 5 stars

So I liked this book. A lot. We first find the main character Jeff waking up in the psych ward of the hospital. He's convinced there's been a huge mistake and he doesn’t belong there with the 'crazies' and thus refuses to cooperate with any of the nurses or his psychiatrist Dr. Katzrupus, whom he nicknames Cat Poop for the duration of the book. Despite this lack of cooperation, Jeff must stay in the ward for 45 days with four other teenagers. It isn’t until a group therapy session that it’s ackn...more

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Apr 08, 2011 Isamlq rated it 3 of 5 stars

Jeff wakes up in hospital’s psychiatric ward and has to stay for a little under two months. We get to know him, laugh at then laugh with him a little bit more each day. This was just one thing I really liked about SN: Jeff is funny! He reminded me of House… snarky, sarcastic and standoffish. Now, Jeff plus a number of kids with issues of their own, was funnier still.

And while it did start out as funny, it didn’t get stuck there. It had depth; it had kids with "issues," why else would they have...more

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Jun 03, 2012 Sahana D rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favourites, got-me-thinking, laugh-out-loud, hero-im-in-love-with, protective-family-friends

contrary to the title, this book was one of the funniest books i've read in quite some time! jeff, the narrator, was found with his wrists cut on new years eve by his parents. this book is the memoirs of his 45 day treatment program. you'll see jeff come to terms with what he did and why he did it. all the while you will be entertained by the hilarious interactions he has with the other patients and his family. you see children reason out their suicides/traumas with a child's eyes and a centurie...more

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Mar 27, 2013 julie rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites

Totally funny. I loved the main character, Jeff. I loved his sarcasm, his denial, his guts to try to kill himself, his hidden courage. I thought at first that it would be a light read and yes, in the beginning, it was. But then when the story develops, it sort of sneaks up on you, showing you the ugly sides of everyone. And I loved it for that. My favorite character was Amanda though she wasn't really thoroughly introduced, at least not as much as I would have liked. But still.

See full review at...more

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Feb 15, 2009 Karin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: high-school, mental-hospital, psychiatry, realistic, relationship-problems, relationships, sex, suicide, young-adult-fiction, homosexuality, borrowed-from-the-library

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Jeff (15) wakes up in a psychiatric ward after trying to commit suicide by slitting his wrists. He feels surprisingly good for someone in his condition - until they take him off the happy pills. Jeff is initially irritated to find himself still among the living, and he’s also uncooperative, moody, silent, and angry. He tells his therapist (Dr. ‘Cat Poop’) that he’s fine over and over again, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s committed to completing the 45 day program. Slowly the story of w...more Jeff (15) wakes up in a psychiatric ward after trying to commit suicide by slitting his wrists. He feels surprisingly good for someone in his condition - until they take him off the happy pills. Jeff is initially irritated to find himself still among the living, and he’s also uncooperative, moody, silent, and angry. He tells his therapist (Dr. ‘Cat Poop’) that he’s fine over and over again, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s committed to completing the 45 day program. Slowly the story of what led Jeff to his act of desperation comes out. Everyone thinks it’s because of Allie, his best friend – that he was sad when she stopped spending time with him and hurt when she chose her new boyfriend over Jeff. That’s not quite what happened, but Jeff is ok letting people think that for the time being - until he’s caught with his pants down (literally) and another patient in his room. As he tries to make up a story to explain what happened, the truth comes out.

I had no idea that this story was about a guy for at least the first couple chapters. I was sure it was an uncooperative girl who’d slit her wrists (because these sorts of stories are always about girls trying to kill themselves and winding up in loony bins). So I was surprised when *she* turned out to be a *he*. This wasn’t immediately obvious. And I probably should have recognized that Jeff was gay, because that’s what he is, and that’s what gets him into trouble with Allie (and her boyfriend, Burke) – he falls in love with her man. But he loses Allie’s friendship when he doesn’t tell her - she thinks he’s been lying to her all this time. She doesn’t realize that Jeff himself isn’t completely sure what’s going on – he only knows how he feels about Burke and doesn’t realize or think that those emotions make him homosexual. Maybe that’s a healthier attitude than trying to find a convenient box for one’s sexuality – “I love whom I love.” Looking back, there are all kinds of hints/foreshadowing that this is how things are going to go. But even after what happens with Rankin, I still found myself somewhat surprised when Jeff reveals that he was in love with Burke.

This was a decent story, and it does some things very well. I particularly liked Jeff’s struggle within himself as to how much he was going to tell his parents (and other people) about his sexuality – his frustration that being gay means you *have* to tell people (whereas if you’re straight people just assume things about you and you never actually have to have the uncomfortable conversations) is so right. I’ve always looked at this from the other side, thinking “why is it that gay people feel that they have to make such a big deal about their sexuality – so much so that everything else about them is eclipsed?” I guess because there are enough people out there that can’t/don’t/won’t accept them for who they are. Being able to love someone without caring what their gender or gender identity is should be every person’s right – and shouldn’t make you good or bad or right or wrong.
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Feb 09, 2009 Susanne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Jeff is not crazy. Or that’s what he tells himself when he finds himself in the psychiatric ward of the hospital. He tried to kill himself by slitting his wrists, only he doesn’t say why. Jeff encounters the world of the ward, and watches himself and other teenagers in his group therapy sessions grow…or fall apart. He borders the fine line of crazy and just confused. You get to watch as Jeff struggles to admit why he tried to kill himself, and why Jeff is troubled. Along the way you meet a lot o...more

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Apr 08, 2013 Chiv Aughn rated it 3 of 5 stars

Not to exaggerate but can I slap Michael Ford? That ending left me so angry. It was like your watching a movie and it cuts off before you find out what you really want to find out. It's not like this is series; it's a stand alone book witch makes that ending extremely annoying. I'm not officially not a fan of the abrupt endings.

Well first off, this is new type of setting for me. I'm not the type of person to read about suicide, well except for Thirteen Reasons Why but this book is so much diffe...more

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Apr 06, 2013 Me123me1 rated it 5 of 5 stars

I thought this book was going to be really depressing. But it wasn’t! Yes it obviously had its sad moments, I mean, its called Suicide Notes so of course there’s going to be sad moments.

There was a lot of dark humor in this book which i found amusing, I liked the main character using his sarcasm to deflect from anyone actually knowing him.

The main characters Jeff, and he’s currently in a mental patient ward because he tried to kill himself, but he wont tell anyone WHY he did it. He keeps sayin...more

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Feb 15, 2013 Jeffery Looper rated it 3 of 5 stars

Suicide Notes tells a story with great suspense. The novelty of deriving fun from the reading lies in the constantly evading yet realistic struggle of 15-year-old Jeff as secrets are told in believable journal-like entries that slowly unravel the complete picture behind the curtain.

The suspense, which is nicely preserved till the crucial moment of revelation, helps keep readers interested and read on. It helps that it's a book that has a rather quick pace as it unfolds its plot. As the story pro...more Suicide Notes tells a story with great suspense. The novelty of deriving fun from the reading lies in the constantly evading yet realistic struggle of 15-year-old Jeff as secrets are told in believable journal-like entries that slowly unravel the complete picture behind the curtain.

The suspense, which is nicely preserved till the crucial moment of revelation, helps keep readers interested and read on. It helps that it's a book that has a rather quick pace as it unfolds its plot. As the story progresses, the narrator reminds us repeatedly that he is not one of the others, that he is sane and he is different from the "crazy" people in the "nuthouse." Gradually, however, readers notice subtle changes in his attitude as he experiences new things and talks to new people in the ward. The development of the protagonist is quite believable in that it allows the readers to truly believe in the shift in attitude; it gives reasons to allow us to witness the changes that are not always obvious, and with evidence to support them. A lot of meaning is tersely expressed, which is quite effective.

The book has interesting characters, though with the exception of the one and only Jeff, as the patients in the hospital ward comes and goes, it leaves readers rather frustrated about what has happened to the ones who are no longer in the picture. It may be beneficial to introduce fresh characters which in their own ways help solve Jeff's mystery. Nonetheless, most of what happens to these side characters themselves is not fully portrayed. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that if a reader devotes his attention to any single character beside Jeff, he or she is likely to get disappointed.

In a way, Suicide Notes is an ordinary book chronicling happenings in a mental hospital, except this is milder in terms of everything. In comparison it's really light. Of course, it does offer some twists and turns as the story goes on, and some are quite predictable rather others not.

What makes this novel different from similar books is how it adds extra substances to the ordinary portion. It creates additional interest at certain points and each of these point will encourage the reader to quickly read on to uncover the true story behind the seemingly whiny Jeff. In other words, it's not too repetitive and it's certainly not boring for the most part.

It's a good thing that this is a book that has high accessibility. Its language is uncomplicated and mostly straightforward, with really great and vivid descriptions of feelings experienced by the main character. Whether you like it or not, I can't seem to find a reason which urges you not to finish the book. It's just a simple book to get through, and I guess in this case, that's a good thing.

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Oct 29, 2012 Sophia rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fall-2012-challenge, humor, gltb

"I'm not crazy. I don't see what the big deal is about what happened. But apparently someone does think it's a big deal because here I am. I bet it was my mother. She always overreacts."

On New Year's day Jeff wakes up in psychiatric ward because he attempted suicide, he can't see what the big deal is, and compared to the other mentally disturbed teens in the ward, he can't possibly be crazy, but - despite his protests he's enrolled in a forty-three day program, forced to endure group therapy, se...more "I'm not crazy. I don't see what the big deal is about what happened. But apparently someone does think it's a big deal because here I am. I bet it was my mother. She always overreacts."

On New Year's day Jeff wakes up in psychiatric ward because he attempted suicide, he can't see what the big deal is, and compared to the other mentally disturbed teens in the ward, he can't possibly be crazy, but - despite his protests he's enrolled in a forty-three day program, forced to endure group therapy, sessions with Dr. Katzrupus, and everyone acting like he's a nutter, he can't wait to leave.
But as the days go past, he gets to meet some of the other teens in the ward and comes to terms with the reasons of his attempted suicide Jeff starts to learn a few things about himself.

I've been wanting to read this book for a long time, so when it came up on my Fall reading challenge, I decided to save (hopefully) the best for last - and I wasn't disappointed.

Jeff is a great hero, his never-ending sarcasm and unique view on life makes it a really easy read, he's a sympathetic, but very real character. Ford rights from his point of view with unflinching realism, in the more intense scenes of the book, like his relationship Rankin was told in such a raw and personal way, that it made you feel like Jeff was telling the story to you, and he wasn't holding back anything, I really appreciated that.

The book itself was an interesting blend of humor and realism, Jeff provided the humor, life provided the realism. Despite the light tone of the book, it isn't a happy read, many of the teens that share the ward with Jeff have painful stories, and less than happy endings, their relationship and interactions with Jeff change him, and not always for the better.

The side characters were well done, I enjoyed how Dr. Katzrupus was treated as a character, and getting to know the other characters and how they impacted Jeff, my only complaint with them is that many of them had unfinished or hanging stories that were left unanswered, and while that may be true in life I still wanted to know how they become who they are, and what happened to them in the end.

The plot itself was engaging, each bit of Jeff's story was revealed piece by piece from the beginning and back, the end revelation of why Jeff did what he did didn't surprise me (the curse of reading spoilers ahead of time) but is one that many teens struggle with, and really leaves you thinking. I was proud of Jeff by the end of the book, he was a different, stronger person who wasn't afraid to be who he was, and that made me root for him.

In the end, Suicide Notes is a humorousness novel that deals with hard issues, with a likeable main character and an intriguing plot line, while it wasn't a perfect book, it was a good book. Recommended to anyone who likes tales of (likeable) teens overcoming obstacles and stories of life in a psychiatric ward. Four stars.

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Jul 12, 2012 Ayu Puspita Sari rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: about-life, family, fiction, glbt-lit, young-adult, psychology

I kind of get lost when shelfing this book. I don't know whether I should put this on Young-adult shelf or Adult shelf, because the main characters--and nearly all characters--are in their teen-aged, range between 12-18, and the problem was actually teenage's, which made me should put this on my YA shelf, but then again, there're some explicit sexy stuffs here that I thought appropriate only for adult reader...... But then majority of the reviewers are put this on YA categories--and plot-wise it...more I kind of get lost when shelfing this book. I don't know whether I should put this on Young-adult shelf or Adult shelf, because the main characters--and nearly all characters--are in their teen-aged, range between 12-18, and the problem was actually teenage's, which made me should put this on my YA shelf, but then again, there're some explicit sexy stuffs here that I thought appropriate only for adult reader...... But then majority of the reviewers are put this on YA categories--and plot-wise it's actually a YA story--so finally I decided to put it on my YA shelf.

I stumbled into this novel between my research about teen suicide for my college task. This story was about and narrated by Jeff, a 15 y.o. boy who woke up in a mental hospital under the 45 Days Rehabilitation programme because he attempted suicide in New Year Eve by cutting both his wrist. At first he denied that he was crazy and demanded to be sent home immediately, but after he met another patients with different cases and learned about their existence in the hospital, he finally tried to open up and solved his own problem.

What sucked me first into this story was Jeff's voice. Narrated from his 1st pov, you could tell that he was a smart boy from the beginning; smart-brained and smart-mouthed, that is. He was witty and sarcastic--my favorite personality in many stories, it seems--yet an introspecting young man. He saw everything from two sides, first he would be sarcastic and then countered it with his introspected view, vice versa. He's the the best 1st pov narrator I've ever read. He lead us from his denial and pessimist former self to his better self with his flowed--and most times funny--introspection toward Cat Poop, his psychiatrist, other patients; Julie the junkie, Bone the mysterious-tattooed guy, Alice who burned her mom's boyfriend, Martha who cannot speak, and two other patients that change his life; Sadie and Rankin--mostly Rankin, I looooooooveeeeee that psycho guy!!

The plot was flowed at the right pace. Until half part of the book, we'd still wondering what the cause of Jeff's attempted suicide and Jeff himself still saying that it was his brash, on-of-a-lifetime, stupid act. But last half part, mostly after Alice gone and Rankin came into the little group, he began to acknowledge his problem, and hit its finality when tragic accident happen to one of the patients.

So why not 5 stars?

It was motly my selfish dissatisfaction toward the ending. I mean, I know the most suited--and realistic--ending was the one Mr. Ford put, but still..... (view spoiler)

I maybe stick with 4 stars, but this story is worth reading.

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Jun 21, 2012 Zabet The Dark Empress of Dark Chocolate rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-books, contemporary-fiction, top-books-in-2012

This and other reviews can be found on Reading Between Classes

Cover Impressions: The cover is simple, clean and to the point. It isn't something that would normally attract me to pick up a book, but after having read it, I like it.

The Gist: Jeff has been sentenced to 45 days in a psych ward following an attempted suicide. Despite his insistence that he is not a "nut job", he must endure therapy and group with other kids that society has deemed disturbed. As time goes on the patients start to se...more

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Feb 21, 2012 Esther rated it 3 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This book started off on a hopeful path. It was witty, it was funny. In ways, it reminded me books by John Green and Jeff was very much a likeable character. All that was needed for a great book was present.

But the book wasn't great.

My main problem was that I found it anti-climactic. When Jeff refuses to talk about why he tried committing suicide, I assumed it was going to be dramatic, something I didn't expect coming. Yes, it was nothing that I expected. It was worse. Much worse.

Now, I don't c...more

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Nov 21, 2011 Gaby Colon rated it 5 of 5 stars

Suicide Notes by Michael Ford is about Jeff a fifteen year old who are going through a rough time. Since he was put in to a metal hospital with other teens his age. Yet he tends to believe nothing is wrong with him. Yet the bandages on his wrists clearly make him this is all a huge mistake. Jeff is perfectly fine, perfectly normal or so he thinks not like the other kids in the hospital with him. They’ve got problems. But has a Jeff’s forty-five-day sentence in the hospital and his doctor (nickna...more
Suicide Notes by Michael Ford is about Jeff a fifteen year old who are going through a rough time. Since he was put in to a metal hospital with other teens his age. Yet he tends to believe nothing is wrong with him. Yet the bandages on his wrists clearly make him this is all a huge mistake. Jeff is perfectly fine, perfectly normal or so he thinks not like the other kids in the hospital with him. They’ve got problems. But has a Jeff’s forty-five-day sentence in the hospital and his doctor (nicknamed "Cat Poop") doesn't seem to understand that there's nothing wrong with him and won't leave him alone. Neither will the various patients who come and go who want to fool around with him in the wee hours of the night. So All Jeff wants to do is to do his time and to get home--partly because his sister Amanda might call dibs on his vacant room. And he does not want to talk about what happened with his best friend Allie, and how their relationship changed after she started dating her boyfriend Burke.
The way Jeff acts in the first few days shows how stupid and sarcastically he acts near the doctor, who is just trying to help. But Jeff wants to be stubborn about the whole problem. He wakes up feeling like why he should even be here with those kids. Who he thinks are nut jobs. But he is trying to find his ways to get out. In other ways he is not trying to make friends since he thinks they are a waste of time. Jeff could be a nice person most of the time. In the book he could be a jerk most of the time. It just takes time for him to become a better person.
Throughout the novel, Jeff is introduced to many patients with very interesting backgrounds. Some of them have positive rehab stories while others regress back to how they were before they got help. Jeff builds an especially strong bond with Sadie, a patient who most recently tried to drown her after multiple attempts to commit suicide in the past. Sadie is slightly mysterious and surprisingly open about her suicide attempt. The audience is under the impression that she has been in the ward for quite a while and is recovering from her depression well. Sadie carries around an article of her rescue in her pocket as a reminder and has a strange love for her savior, a random man who jumped in the lake to save her. There is a slight attraction between Jeff and Sadie that they experiment with part way through the novel.
Jeff adjusting to the psychiatric ward and realizing that everyone has a little bit of crazy in them. He finally accepts his problem and admits the reason why he tried to kill himself at the end of the book. All we know up to that point is it had something to do with his best friend Allie and a hatred towards her boyfriend Burke. In the end, Jeff discovers his true self after many intense and unfamiliar situations in the ward. He finally opens up to Dr. Katzrupus or he would say Dr. Cat poop and himself, admitting that he needs help.
The ending is a bit too pat and happy; fancy that, Jeff’s parents are totally accepting of his gayness after some token resistance and he’s friends with all the people on the ward and everything is just great. But I think it’s a really good book since it can relate to any teenager going through that.
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Nov 15, 2010 Terri rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Why does almost every Young Adult author have to ruin a good book with that one scene or two scenes that take it over the edge? I loved this book to begin. The main character, fifteen year old Jeff, has a wonderful voice - witty, sarcastic, self-deprecating, smart, yet mysterious. As the book opens, he wakes up in a psychiatric unit for teens. He very slowly reveals his reasons for being there. It is readily apparent by the gauze on his wrists, that he attempted suicide by slashing his wrists. H...more Why does almost every Young Adult author have to ruin a good book with that one scene or two scenes that take it over the edge? I loved this book to begin. The main character, fifteen year old Jeff, has a wonderful voice - witty, sarcastic, self-deprecating, smart, yet mysterious. As the book opens, he wakes up in a psychiatric unit for teens. He very slowly reveals his reasons for being there. It is readily apparent by the gauze on his wrists, that he attempted suicide by slashing his wrists. However, the real reasons for this suicide attempt are not revealed until the climax of the book (though the reader probably figures it out before Jeff reveals it). Jeff insists that he is OK throughout most of his 45 day "incarceration." He avoids, mocks, manipulates, re-directs, anything he can do to avoid the truth. Eventually, after he tires of all of the energy it takes to hide the truth, he reveals that his suicide attempt was due to his attraction to his best friend's boyfriend, Burke. He finally realizes/admits that he is gay, first to himself, then to his therapist, then to his family and friends. The scenes that take it over the edge are a couple of pretty graphic sex scenes between himself and one of the female patients (he can't go through with it), and then with one of the male patients, Rankin (Rankin initiates these interactions). I felt that the same thing could have been communicated without the graphic language and descriptions.

What happens when an author crosses this line, is that the book really becomes less mainstream. As teen depression and suicide, especially among gay teens, is all over the news right now, and is such an important topic, books on the subject are needed and sought out by teens going through the same thing, and by those who want to know more. The public and parents are willing to accept scenes of violence (so ironic), even language, underage drinking and drug use - but sex is a different thing. Not that these very things don't happen in many teens' lives. They do. And kids deserve books in which they see themselves and their worlds reflected. But is "graphic sex" necessary? Ford could have communicated what happened here in a less overt way. My problem with this is that this book now becomes inappropriate for use in the mainstream classroom, for community reads (which I was looking at it for), etc. I will not censor young adult books, but I will use common sense in how I use and suggest books to students. And, unfortunately, some librarians and school districts will censor young adult books.

Ford's use of a strong first person narrative voice, a multi-dimensional protagonist, a wonderful supporting cast, a compelling plot format (journal entries that follow chronolocically his time in the psychiatric ward - the chapters are titled as such, "Day 24"), a timely and important topic(teen depression and suicide, homosexuality), and relevant thematic material (truth, love, family, friendship, fear) make this book a stand-out. Unfortunately, because of the graphic sex scenes, the audience for this book becomes more limited.
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Aug 03, 2010 Aaron rated it 5 of 5 stars

The novel opens with 15-year-old Jeff waking up and finding himself in the hospital. He is in the psychiatric ward, where he must stay for the next 45 days, because his parents found him after he tried to commit suicide by slitting his wrists. The hope is that the stay will allow him to be stabilized enough to go home.

Jeff is a fun and snarky character, who brings the reader into the setting with fresh eyes. The novel is written in the form of a journal, where each chapter is a daily entry in wh...more The novel opens with 15-year-old Jeff waking up and finding himself in the hospital. He is in the psychiatric ward, where he must stay for the next 45 days, because his parents found him after he tried to commit suicide by slitting his wrists. The hope is that the stay will allow him to be stabilized enough to go home.

Jeff is a fun and snarky character, who brings the reader into the setting with fresh eyes. The novel is written in the form of a journal, where each chapter is a daily entry in which he shares the important facts of one of the days he is staying in the ward. Forty-five days and 45 days chapters.

The ward holds 5 patients at a time, and Jeff gets to meet a number of different fellow patients as they come and go. Each is there for their own reasons and they range from attempted suicide and depression to eating disorders to drug addiction. The staff in the ward seem to be friendly and helpful, but like most teens, Jeff seems more than happy to try to keep his distance. With that said, he also forms some strong friendships with some of his fellow patients.

Throughout the course of the book, Jeff slowly starts to reveal the details that led to his suicide attempt. It takes him that long to be ready to talk about it in his journal and with his psychologist, Dr. Katzrupus (whom he calls "Cat Poop"). His developing relationships with his ward-mates allow him to get a better understanding of his reasons and allows him to finally confront the issue head on.

Fort he reader, the reasons are not a complete surprise since some of Jeff's actions and thoughts have foreshadowed things, but the results for both Jeff and those around him are realistic and honest.

What I thought was important was that while Jeff is able to make a breakthrough as a result of his stay in the psychiatric ward, it is clear that it is just a beginning of a long-term healing process. Many similar books in young adult literature seem to make it feel like such stays solve all of the problems for the main character. This is a nice addition to the genre.(less)

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Apr 08, 2010 Savannah rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: ya-books

I'm not a huge fan of books that talk right to the reader--the ones where the narration is straight out of the character's head. Mostly because that approach generally isn't done well. However, in this instance, it was well enough done that it wasn't that distracting to me (although I kept realizing how much my way of thinking has changed since I was the main character's age, and that's...odd). That alone merits one whole thumb up.

I've read plenty of teen-almost-suicides novels before and I did...more

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Apr 07, 2010 WillowBe rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: gay-protagonist

Loved it. Slow beginning, but stick with it. I felt a lot of empahty for the charactar and heart ache for his parents. Graphic sex scenes between boys with some obvious coercion in them. Also, frank discussion of suicide and mental illness. I bet real kids know about these issues by age 16 unless they are very sheltered or go to school in homogenous environments, like religious schools? I don't know any teens, so i am just guessing. I certainly knew about this kind of stuff by the time I was a s...more

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Jan 11, 2010 Amanda rated it 3 of 5 stars

A return to teen fiction after what seems like a long lapse. This is about a teen who tries to commit suicide, then wakes up and narrates 45 days in a psyche ward. At first he doesn't think he is crazy, and that the other kids there are very different from him. There are various group sessions with 4 other kids, and one on ones with the shrink known as cat poop. Jeff is sarcastic to the extreme, and a little brilliant. At one point in the stay, things start getting sexified. Jeff is talking abou...more

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About Michael Thomas Ford

Michael Thomas Ford is the author of more than fifty books, for both young readers and adults, in genres ranging from humor to horror, literary fiction to nonfiction. As a writer for young adults he is the author of the popular "Circle of Three" series (writing as Isobel Bird); nonfiction books about spirituality (Paths of Faith), the AIDS crisis (Voices of AIDS), and the gay community (The World...more

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“So now I'm thinking about it. I'm imagining sitting down with my parents and actually saying, "I'm gay." And you know what? It makes me a little mad. I mean, straight guys don't have to sit their parents down and tell them they like girls.” — 60 people liked it

“That's what people do. Kill the things they're afraid of.” — 53 people liked it

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