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Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission
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Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

3.94 of 5 stars 3.94  ·  rating details  ·  577 ratings  ·  27 reviews
A breakthrough in sexual literature, this work is a complete, comprehensive user-friendly guide to and tour through the world of alternative sexual lifestyles. While the topics are exotic and erotic, the authors handle each one in a sensitive, thorough, analytical, and fascinating way and manage to explain a secret world to those who might wish to visit.
Hardcover, First Edition, 539 pages
Published 1993 by Villard Books
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♆ BookAddict  ✒ La Crimson Femme
Different loving is a rather innocuous title. Why did I not know of this book when I was first getting into BDSM? Had I read this book when I was 18, when the book came out in ’93, life would have been less confusing for me in a sexual manner. Many of the questions I’ve had over the years are all listed and explained very well in this book. While this 1996 version is dated with some of the terminology as far as transgenderism, the others terms are still used prevalently throughout the BDSM subcu ...more
Clint Piatelli
THE best book on sexual role playing ever written. Not that I've read that many. Just a few dozen.....
Well organized, well written, intriguing book that attempts to make kink and unorthodox sexual behaviours understood. Even if you do not practice or are just outright repulsed by some of the methods described in this book, it will shed light on why people are attracted to: spanking, pony play, scat play, infantilism, sadism, masochism, etc.

I'm all about understanding why
Rebecca Huston
One of the very few books out there about the whole BDSM lifestyle that actually gets it right. It took chops to write this book, and there is very little out there that this book -doesn't- cover. However, be warned that this is not a 'how-to' manual, or a collection of fantasies, or anything of that sort. What it is is a book on what the various terms that are out there in the land of kink, and what do they mean. If you've read any of the popular fiction that supposedly is about BDSM and think ...more
This work is a great look into the BDSM world. It gives real-life examples and situations of both Dominates and Submissives. I highly recommend it to people new to the lifestyle.
Good primer on BDSM, Fetish, D/s. Interviews by Brame. Must have for BDSM bookshelf, but keep in mind this is not a 'how-to' but a 'why' type of book.
Patricia Willenborg
I've had my copy on my shelves for many years and have never once thought of passing it on. It is a necessary part of the larger picture of human sexuality.
Sep 18, 2007 Tootsie rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: kinky betch's
ooooh i'm not telling what i read it for urself and then call me :P
Really good reference guide for those curious about various types of play.
The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health
Different Loving provides an in depth understanding of the BDSM culture. It effectively describes the multifaceted world of sexual dominance and submission through interviews of people who identify as being in the Scene. Along with the first-hand accounts of the lifestyle, the author details situations—where it is psychological or physical attraction—that draw people to the BDSM culture.

This book uses a method of explaining BDSM that allows even the non-Scene readers to be able to identify with
Excellent reference book on the alphabet city of kink. Dr Gloria G. Brame whips out all the stops when she put this wonderful compilation of resources and facts together in the bindings of this book. Includes the history of the earliest and most ancient documented instances of people's enjoyment of sadistic and masochistic love play from around the world... as far away as the far east as well as in the western world where the later rider movement of the Leatherman Society and motor bike clubs in ...more
This book fails to cite some suspiciously ill-researched phenomena, such as the Havelock Ellis "observer effect." But other than those transgressions, this is a great primer for The Wide World of Sexual Deviance. It has some gems and does a good job of justifying all kinds of queer/"scary" wonderments and how they've been stifled by religion and reticent attitudes toward non-missionary copulation/related activities. A disappointingly large portion of this particular book is dedicated to people n ...more
One of the best books on many aspects of BDSM. Really loved the interview sections to get an insight in to why people are into that specific aspect.
Jun 02, 2015 TheresHeather rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone interested in BDSM - for any reason.
A really fascinating look in to the world of BDSM. As others have said, it is not a "how to" book - it is a "what/when/where/WHY" type of book. I found it intriguing, and enjoyed the individual interviews. Really a little bit of everyone included in here, from the mom next door to your big city S&M club hoppers. Well sourced, in my opinion.
It did take me a little while to get through it (just over a month, that's slow for me.) This wasn't because I found the book boring by any means, I just
A coherent cornucopia of kinks, this reserve is an observant elucidation on the undiscovered spectrum of human sexuality familiarizing the BDSM lifestyle. It vocalizes unconventionally powered erotic encounters and fetishes exploring the conscious and subconscious dreams of sexualized demeanor.
If your interested in all the BDSM fetishes and terminology this is the book to read. It has several interviews with people that give their take on the mental aspects of it and how their fetish makes them feel. Deeper understanding of BDSM.
A very interesting read. What made the book more relatable in a sense, to someone not familiar on this topic, were the interviews with people at the end of each chapter. It allowed for a more personal reading experience.
Christine Jackson
Informative, intelligent, enlightening book about a somewhat misunderstood topic. I can see myself referring to this again and again.
Enjoyment And
Good read.....

Enjoyed exploring my feelings/thoughts as I read it...

Nin, enjoyed your post....very nice smile...

Poised, thorough and utterly unabashed. Probably the best reference out there for newbies.
In-depth case studies of couples (vastly defined) with a BDSM stint to their relationship.
a little dated but very thorough and informative for kink and vanilla folk alike.
Jul 26, 2010 Jubilee is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
I can't stop thinking about this damn book.
Wonderfully written!
I think this book is great! I learned alot about BDSM, it is a great book if you are thinking about exploring your sexuality a little your mind and heart to something a little different.A fun book and an informative book...I also learned that Iam more dominant that submissive but that I can be submissive to someone I love..the term for a person who is both submissive and dominant is called a "switch" I think everyone should read this book it will make you change your mind on how ...more
Steve marked it as to-read
Nov 26, 2015
Nadine Van der merwe
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Best-selling author and sex therapist.
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