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Nasty People

3.72 of 5 stars 3.72  ·  rating details  ·  319 ratings  ·  50 reviews
Hardcover, 87 pages
Published January 1st 1989 by Barnes & Noble
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(showing 1-30 of 684)
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Lucy Wightman
A friend for over 30 years gave me this book and I almost threw it out after a cursory read. I steer away from “self-help” books, since most of them are boring, regurgitated versions of what we already know, and, for me, what I am often too lazy to implement.

On second glance, I liked four things about this small book, and the first was its size. The second was the author’s bold disagreement with fixed labels, more specifically, his refusal to subscribe to things like “personality disorders.” Th
Fascinating book; the title is an exaggeration since it's about all of us, in a way. The topic is 'invalidating' - putting people down, seeing ourselves as superior. The author claims that there is 1% of the population who are truly nasty and do this kind of thing deliberately. It's hard to believe the number is really that high. But he also points out that there are many people who do this kind of thing regularly - albeit not deliberately wanting to hurt anyone - and that probably everyone does ...more
I bought this book a few hours ago and finished reading it in about two hours.

This book was penned as a cathartic exercise. Carter states that he was a victim first and then when he studied psychology, he realized what was happening to him. He later put his findings in book form, to help people. This is probably true of any pop-psychology book, since humans are primarily emotionally motivated. This fact makes the book very readable, and very true to life. One can relate to the facts and situati
I have read a number of self-help books, specifically on how to change my behaviors when dealing with people who engage in unhealthy behaviors routinely. I found this book to be okay and share similar insight as other books in this category. The point I struggled with was the reasons he gave for unhealthy behaviors - a point he could not have addressed as many other books don't go into the 'why' people engage in unhealthy behaviors. The reasons he gave negate much of psychology and our understan ...more
The only thing the author needed to mention is how to deal with nasty
people who think they're literary critics. You know, those people who give shitty reviews on book cuz they're insanely jealous of the author's success? Yeesh.

*cough* too many of those types on GR *cough, hack*
Be careful, once you learn how to define the sick behavior that surrounds you, you may not like anyone! But, there is redemption in learning that the Invalidator is a personality not a person and you gain tools to learn how to deal with them.
Becky Norman
A very quick read and something I wish I'd had 20 years ago when I was starting out in the work world. Although these tips on handling "invalidators" (those who feel compelled to cut you down in order to build themselves up) seem to focus more on personal relationships, there is still beneficial information for readers in a work environment, as well. While it won't give you sure-fire guidelines on how to succeed with (or against?) "little Hitlers" (because there is no one sure-fire way for every ...more
رائد الغامدي
كتاب خفيف ولطيف
وأستطيع تلخيصه في قوله تعالى: (ولاتستوي الحسنة ولا السيئة ادفع بالتي هي أحسن). وذلك إن الدفع بنفس الأسلوب السيئ يرجع تأثيره على من يريد الدفاع عن نفسه، فتصبح نفسه تغلي، ويفكر في الموقف ربما لأيام، ما يجعل صفو فكره متعكر، ومزاجه متكدر؛ في حين أن تجاهل الموقف، أو مقابلته بما هو أحسن أول ما ينعكس على المدافع عن نفسه في مقابل امرئ سيء الطباع، فيتخلص من الشعور السيئ في حينه.

لم أقيم خمسة نجوم كاملة، وانقصتها واحدة؛ وذلك لأن الأفكار في بعض أجزاء الكتاب غير مرتبة بشكل متسلسل يسمح للقارئ ب
Short, clear and helpful in creative ways of dealing with people who are just not nice.
He lost me in the foreword at "Besides God, the captain of your soul should be you".
Geraldine Curtis
It was ok as a quick read. I came away thinking that every time I act strong, even in the face of oppression or bullying, that makes me an Invalidator. The word is over used in the book. It means someone who puts someone down.
He has some good tips for how to react in certain specific situations. It has some insight into how people become like that. But it wasn't really what I was looking for.0 And it was a bit alarming to find him using 'God' 'soul' 'evil' etc in his narrative. I'm not sure why
I read this book during a time in my life when a ruthless invalidator gathered a bunch of false accusations and criticisms, even wrote letters to my friends and my fiance with degradations about me. In order to make it through the gossip and smut, I began to pick up books off the shelf that might empower me through. This was one of them. It is an easy read, another purse packing one that I read pretty fast. This book didn't tell me anything I didn't already know.

The thing that stands out the mo
Teresa Austin
The title of this book is really just an attention-grabber. It got my attention! The beginning of the book talks about the Invalidator, the person who belittles others to make himself look big. It describes the effect of this person's behavior on the victim. Invalidation tends to "introvert" the victim, which compounds the problem. The second half of the book puts a little different twist on it. The message goes along with the Eleanor Roosevelt quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without y ...more
This is a quick and easy read with several humorous passages. It has some interesting advice on handling people that we've probably all come across or will come across in our lives, as well as some probable explanations for their behavior.
Informative, specially the part about avoiding succumbing to introspection, defining what's 'taking it personally'.

Gender is a distraction in this book, most of the examples of invalidators are women, it could use genderless pronouns. The author seems to try to mix it up eventually, switching from she to he, from bad wives to bad husbands, but still sometimes there is a combo of women examples that stands out. Or maybe I'm complaining that I can't concentrate enough on that guy I hate if he ke
It's an easy read and does not overwhelm with so much information that eventually leads to not finishing it. Made me more conscious of this behavior in people and myself.
This book literally changed my life when I was a teenager. I wish all kids could read it!
Mai Ngoc
A randomly-picked book at the library turned out to be a really good book. :")
It's a very interesting read and gives people like me, people that take every nasty behavior as if they did something, and gives us the perspective that 'hey, more than likely it's not something we did' and this is how we can fix/deal with that behavior. I really recommend it for people with horrible bosses or friends that are manipulative. I think kids in middle school and high school should be required to read this might help with the bully situation as well as the bossy nasty friend ...more
Some good advice.
الكتاب يشرح الكثير عن الاشخاص سيءو الطباع لكن... معلومات قليلة جدا جدا عن كيفية التعامل معهم...
Very insightful, I feel more aware of my actions, other peoples actions and potential reasons why they happen.
Jasir Al-Owaisi
أشخاص سيئو الطباع.. وكما يطلق عليهم المحقّرين من شأن الآخرين.

ينظر إلى المواقف بمنظار واسع حتى أنني وجدت نفسي من المحقرين ما أجبرني على قراءة الكتاب حتى النهاية
كما أنني أيضا وجدت نفسي ضحية في مواقف أخرى

يذكر الصفات ثم كيفية التعامل مع الموقف والعلاج .. للمجرم والضحية

كتاب استفدت منه ولولا لغته لحاز على 5 من 5 في تقييمي

في نظري, الكتاب يهدف إلى المثالية في التعامل مع الآخرين .. فلا داعي لأن يقرأ الكتاب من لا يرى فائدة لوجود المثالية
I read this while dealing with a truly nasty person at work, hoping I'd find a way to cope. What I did find in this book was not only what I was looking for, but also some insights into my own psyche.

We all invalidate another person on occasion, without meaning to. It takes self-awareness to realize when you're doing it.

At less than 100 pages it's a quick read - straightforward and to the point.
More people need to read this.
This book reminded me that mean people are just mean... I am not responsible for the actions of other people even when they blame me for them.

This book is not written from a Christian worldview. It has a few cuss words and sometimes suggests that you need to be mean instead of turning the other cheek like Jesus said. But I was able to gain from this book while editing it as I read.
Kristie J.
This is a great book that opens your eyes to the people in your life who are invalidating you - and the people you may be invalidating. I like the way the book is short and gets straight to the point without making you read pages and pages of elaboration. I only gave it 4 stars because it could have more examples about how to deal with invalidators effectively.
this was a fascinating book about how to cope with some tough characters. I really enjoyed readig it. it could be helpful for dealing with the jerk at work, an angry parent, or any other nasty people you encounter throughout life. it's got a lot of strategies for taking the weapons from the nasty people in life. definately worth reading.
Either you've been or are under any kind of bullying this book will help you from inside into outside taking you from forgiveness into action to help, defend and some times attack those Bullies, at school, work, family, relationship...etc And the most important thing is to explore yourself if you are one of them, and you don't know yet!
Very practical and useful both on a personal and professional level. I ordered copies for my daughter who will be teaching middle schoolers and could use this book as a resource in her teasing and bullying unit; I ordered a copy for my sister who is dealing with a nasty boss in her new job.
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Dr. Carter has made over 100 appearances on national television and radio in the USA, Canada, Australia, and United Kingdom (BBC-TV in London), including the "Larry King Show", and the "Montel Williams Show". He consulted with Reader's Digest for an article on "Mean People", and has consulted with the Oprah Winfrey Show. He has appeared in Oprah magazine and Cosmopolitan several times. He was a ta ...more
More about Jay Carter...
Nasty Women Nasty Bosses: How to Deal with Them Without Stooping to Their Level Nasty Men The Complete Idiot's Guide to Bipolar Disorder Bipolar: The Elements of Bipolar Disorder

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“Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong. —LEO BUSCAGLIA” 1 likes
“Every time you meet a situation, though you think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you are freer than you were before. —ELEANOR ROOSEVELT” 0 likes
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