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Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon
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Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon

3.67 of 5 stars 3.67  ·  rating details  ·  337 ratings  ·  41 reviews

Carefully consider the joy of your soft-headed ignorance before you begin to run, flip, and jump along the Ninja Path.

After much debate and in a spirit of morbid amusement, the International Order of Ninjas has chosen to produce The Ninja Handbook, the first-ever secret ninja training guide specifically designed for the non-ninja.
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Paperback, 325 pages
Published September 9th 2008 by Three Rivers Press (first published January 1st 2008)
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I tried. I really did. I love Ninjas. I love satire. I love ridiculous and over the top humor.

I did not love this book.

I think that it was perhaps too over the top and I felt like the whole time I was being excluded by inside jokes, or being thrown ludicrous names and situations in the hope that I would feel like I was being excluded from inside jokes.

I didn't finish, much to my chagrin. Maybe I'm a decade or two too old for it, or maybe I didn't know enough of the 'Ask a Ninja' back story to re
If you've ever wondered when to slash or when to stab, you're going to need this book.
The only thing I want to ask a ninja is "How did you get a publishing deal?"
Laura Roberts
If you dig ninjas, this book is an essential volume. Naturally, it is a tongue-in-cheek guide to the secrets of the ninja, and is therefore quite helpful as a primer for those interested in the comic book or movie versions thereof. Indeed, with the subtitle "This book looks forward to killing you soon," those who are pissed off by its comedic premise should be immediately clued in that this in no way seeks to enlighten the non-ninja about true ninja secrets. But I guess some people just take thi ...more
Henrik Harbin
Never give a dragon an even break, unless it's in the spine :)

Essentially this book is an extended text version of the "Ask a Ninja" video blogs on Youtube. That's not a bad thing; it's actually good, because it attracts people who might not like Youtube itself.

The essays and stories are humorous, in a sophomoric way that appeals mostly to teens and young adults. I liked it because it takes a mysterious subject and makes it fun and accessible.

WARNING: Don't read more than one or two chapters at
Oct 07, 2008 Maria rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Ninjas and Pirates
Recommended to Maria by: Noelle
Shelves: howto, humor
This was a funny book. I felt that it was a little long. The beginning was hilarious and flew past. After awhile I got used to the humor and it seemed to drag a little. This was not helped by the blatant grammatical errors that made reading difficult the further you got through it. In my opinion the author is hilarious and the book a good read, unfortunately the editor seemed to give up and this turned a delightful read into a chore each time I had to decode a grammatical mistake and figure out ...more
There was a ninja hiding in every page. I didn't see them because whenever I turned the page they jumped out and stood behind me until I had finished the book, put it down and turned around. The ensuing battle was epic but thanks to the lessons I learned from the book I was able to fend them off. I was rewarded for my efforts by a) living and b) getting to take a picture with none other than THREE itself, whom was kind enough to auutograph it for me...before stabbing me in the eye with the pen.
Linda huang
this book took the longest time to read. probably it wasn't interesting enough. but it's hilarious to read if you have to time. i would recommenr this book to people who are VERY into ninja books. they have monsters and killings and gore everywhere. their quotes are funny, their ninja ways are funny, everything is funny. sometimes i even find myself laughing at the book when I'm reading at home. READ IT! IT'S A GOOD BOOK TO HAVE AROUND.
Dan Jones
The Ninja Handbook is interesting and humorous. It follows the same sort of humor found in the "Ask a Ninja" webseries, although it goes much more into the fantastic. In fact, it would be perfectly accurate to describe this book as a fantasy textbook.

There were parts where the fantastic got a little absurd, and it distracted from the main theme of the book.

All in all, though, a humorous, fun book to read.
I wish I could write an amzing review for this, but I am laughing so hard remember it that I cannot form words. Besides, words cannot quite articulate the awesomeness of ninjas.

So, in the words of Grand Master Power Switch:
My grandfather would often run straight up a dinner roll.

...and to understand that, or any of the book, you need to read it!
Chris Youngblood
There's only so far you can take certain jokes, and the authors of this book seem determined to stretch this particular one to (and sometimes beyond) the limits. There were some entertaining sections, and the overall idea is amusing, but writing a 300+ page book out of what is ultimately a one-note joke is asking for too much from too little.
I mean, I was already well versed in many of these techniques, but this is a great refresher course for an already seasoned ninja. This is also a great how-to for a ninja novice. Not to say that everyone that attempts these skills can properly execute them. Read up for "ninjafied enlightenment".
This book is humorous, not necessarily something you read straight through, but it is great in lightning the mood after a long day. The jokes are sharp, and fit a certain type of humor that isn't met with warm reception from everyone. Some jokes do seem to reach, but I enjoy it on occasion.
Stephen Kennedy
While I love the Ask A Ninja podcast and I liked the book, I didn't love it. It was just too much nonsensical data. Found I couldn't read lots of it in the same sitting.
While some parts are very funny, I didn't give me the laughs that I get from watching the podcast itself.
not bad for my first saterical book, but i felt they took it a bit too far, it was funny but then again maybe my non-ninja mind couldnt handle all the ninja-ness, perhaps i'm not ready to be a ninja.......................yet. I did enjoy the book though, it was a good read.
Abby Rosmarin
It was alright. It provided a few good chuckles in the beginning and it was a good mindless read when I was on the train. I've read better, I've read worse. I don't know if I'd full-out recommend it, but if someone wanted to read it, I wouldn't stop them.
Makes cracks to pop-culture, has some offbeat humor but not terrible to get through. I imagine it perfect for those of slapstick humor, or perhaps in the middle school age range. I'd at least recommend browsing through the pages, as it is indeed comical.
The humor from the Ask a Ninja website translates to print fairly well (though I imagine an audio book would be better), but even in a fairly short book it can be too much. The humor is so over the top that you need a break every section or so.
A hilarious guide to becoming "almost a ninja". You, too, can progress through the levels of nonja, ninjaish, ninjalike and ITAN (Is That A Ninja?) if you follow the pointers set out in this handbook. Be prepared to laugh your socks off!
It started out really funny, and parts of it did stay amusing until the end, but with the last fifty or so pages, it started to dry out. The introduction was hilarious and gave me such high didn't completely deliver.
This book was very enjoyable. It was also obviously written by a movie buff which I always throughouly enjoy. The random movie references. Totally great way to waste an afternoon or two.
My wife found this on the curb (no joke) and thought I might like it. I have no idea how the authors convinced anyone to publish it but Oh My God is it funny.
It's pretty entertaining at first, but can't sustain it's one-joke concept for long. It bored me to the point that I quit reading it before I finished.
Michelle (In Libris Veritas)
As far as it being a humor book it has it's moments but mostly it's just straight forward in it's delivery but to me rarely came off as funny.
Dustin Tatman
Sep 07, 2009 Dustin Tatman rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Those who wish to die
My true feelings of this book are tattooed on the back of a cross dimensional pain dragon. Only those who are worthy may read it.
Jun 23, 2014 Bill added it
I listened to the first couple of chapters presented in audio feed, bought the book and this will be my bedtime read. More to follow...
Nov 19, 2008 Sammich rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Ask A Ninja fans
Amusing. I could barely get through the last chapter. I enjoyed the jokes and parody ninja training.
Amie Currie
One of those I pick up every so often and read a little bit of it! Very funny, and dangerous! =)
Larry Kenney
Everything you need to know about ninjas. A fun, tongue-in-cheek look at the world of ninjas.
It was funny, and I'm glad I read it. Still, I'd rather just watch the webcast.
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