Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear
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Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear

4.3 of 5 stars 4.30  ·  rating details  ·  245 ratings  ·  32 reviews
CONNECTION PARENTING is based on the parenting series Pam Leo has taught for nearly 20 years. Pam’s premise is that every child’s greatest emotional need is to have a strong emotional bond with at least one adult. When we have a bond with a child we have influence with a child. Pam teaches us that when we strengthen our parent-child bond we meet the child’s need for connec...more
Paperback, Second Edition, 216 pages
Published July 7th 2007 by Wyatt-MacKenzie (first published November 1st 2005)
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(showing 1-30 of 855)
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This book is full of good information, but Ms. Leo is not an author. She badly needs to have had this book edited. Nonetheless, I recommend reading this book; behind the hokey terms like "love cup" are some important concepts about treating our children with respect, honoring their feelings, and meeting kids' needs.
In Connection Parenting there are no quick fixes, no time-outs, no threats, no coercion used in Pam Leo's methods... instead she teaches parenting through connection. One of the things she said that stuck with me is about how we need to stop treating children as "second-rate citizens". While this may seem a little over the top I feel like we, as a nation, do treat our children pretty poor. We raise our children the way we were raised (with a few changes here and there) but don't stop to think ab...more
I really like the concept of connecting with your child, showing respect and love as opposed to using coercion or fear of punishment to change behavior; but she was really big on if your child has behavior problems, its because you as a parent aren't meeting the needs of that child. I don't fully agree.

I also think we have to be careful about not allowing our children to work through struggles because not everyone out there in the world is always going to try to meet our children's needs and we...more
I love this book so much!!!!!! I felt like it saved me and is really helping me to brake the parenting cycles that have been happening in my family for generations. I think that it a wonderful peaceful method to parenting and truly works. It has brought awarness to how and when I communicate with my children. I have bought it for one person and insisted others buy it, keep it and read it.
Sonya Feher
Aug 13, 2008 Sonya Feher rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents
Recommended to Sonya by: API
Shelves: parenting, nonfiction
This is a great overview for parents who don't have time to read tons of parenting books. The author was a childcare provider for 22 years and then taught parenting workshops for 16 years before writing this book. Connection Parenting
asks one to reflect about one’s own parenting goals and inheritance (how one was parented). That grounding in history and future helps to deal with parenting in the present: how to communicate, understand what a child is communicating, discipline, and make sure eve...more
Jenni Pertuset
This is a great parenting book. An accessible collection of kernels of insight and truth present in other remarkably valuable works -- like Hold Onto Your Kids and Non Violent Communication -- it also includes thoughtful original ideas. Leo has the great advantage of being concise, making Connection Parenting easy to recommend to parents whose time is short. One of the best ideas in the book is that the true magic word is “let’s.” I also appreciated her discussion of how to interpret behavior to...more
Jul 18, 2011 Andre rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents
Recommended to Andre by: wife
Shelves: parenting, own
This is a quick read and filled with practical advice. Pam Leo eschews the heavy data-driven and theoretical approaches that some parenting books can get into and focuses on making the concepts "real" for your family. It makes a great companion book to Magical Child, but can also stand alone as a great book to reach for when you need some help.
There were some ideas in this book that I absolutely loved like a child cooperates better when they have a good relationship with a parent. I also like her ideas about treating children with more respect. There were some ideas that didn't make much sense to me though. If you never punish a child (inlcuding taking away privildges) how will they ever learn responsibility for their choices?
This is one of my favorite parenting books. It's short, sweet and to the point.

One chapter per week is a good way to work your way through it for the first time.

Now I reread bits and pieces whenever I find myself straying from being the kind of parent I want to be. Just a few minutes with it help me recenter.

It's also one of my favorites to share with new parents.
Jun 29, 2007 Lori rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents, therapists
Shelves: books2007
I absorbed this book like a sponge! The ideas and principles are an inspiration to me as a clinician intern becoming a child therapist. I have approached my sessions with the intention of helping parents connect with their children and it has yielded postive results. I cannot sing enough praise of this book!
This book is rather new age and sappy but it also provides the best approach to parenting that I have seen. No one could always be as kind and gentle a parent as this book advises, but just having read it helps you to pause in the heat of the moment and think and calm down enough to be a better parent.
Austen to Zafón
Why: jenni recommended saying that it was like a brochure of a bunch of different attachment and closeness parenting styles. It contains the essential kernels of wisdom you need to get started.
Carrie S
A quick, easy read. This is an amazing book that helped me to heal from my own childhood and forgive my parents for their mistakes. It also started me on the gentle discipline path.
This book should be a must read for parents. I'm only giving it 4 stars, because it goes a bit over the top some times. There's a page where it compares Ghandi and Hitlers upbringing, without, as far as I can tell, any facts to back this up. If that part was cut out, it's still very mushy, but bearable mush.
I love the fact that this book gives useable advice. It's not an intangible philosophy, it gives situation examples and ways to avoid them or solve them.
Tried and tested at home I can only sa...more
Easy read. Short sections and tid bits that allow you to pick up and read an idea 2-5 minutes at a time if you wish. Embraces the best of all my favorite parenting books. Each chapter references other books if you are interested in reading more indepth on what is presented. THIS is your cliff notes. This is your bathroom book. This is the book you might be able to get your husband to read. It's a fast read, and I will probably read it again and again. Simple, to the point, informative, effective...more
Jul 06, 2008 Sue rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: all parents and caregivers
This book reminds me of what my parenting beliefs were back when I was just the mother of one. Something about being the mother of two made me too tired to remember all my high ideals and lofty goals and this book has been instrumental in getting myself back on track. AND I know Pam Leo's advice works, because I saw it working for my son when he was an only child, and I see it working for both of my children now that I am implementing these strategies again. My son is happier and I am a more rel...more
This is the best parenting book I've ever read. Our parent education teacher at preschool highly recommends this book for everyone, no matter what age your kids are. This book is fairly new, but will soon be a huge hit! The author, Pam Leo, teaches ways to find solutions that are loving, using connection and talks against any type of fear based techniques. You'll be amazed at what you are doing right now that isn't benefiting your kids,even though you have the best intentions. A MUST READ FOR AL...more
Some really good techniques that have helped me step back and rethink my patenting. I really stop to think "I need to teach her everything! Every emotion and how to deal with it and we've made huge strides in her behavior! Way less arguing and bickering.
Sep 10, 2008 Christy rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Erin Buell
Presented a lot of true principles but I didn't always agree with the way the author suggested those principles be applied so I wouldn't wholeheartedly recommend it without some reservations and explanations first.
I found this to be one of the best parenting books I have read. Concise, good examples and very much in-line with my philosophy. I took away several key things which I have already started doing!
The author gave tons of great techniques and advice. If you are a parent or plan to be a parent someday, this book can help you get thru the terrible twos and three's without hitting or yelling.
Jun 27, 2011 Carol marked it as did-not-finish  ·  review of another edition
The author suggests working through a chapter a day or even one a week so I returned the one I borrowed from the library and am going to try to buy a copy. I liked what I had read so far.
This is one of the best parenting books I've read - still it's taking me a while to get through it. It's an easy read, but it's a workbook, and I just am not making it a priority.
a lot of great concepts but not that much new information. I wish it had more practical advice in it with examples. It was worth reading though.
Carrie S
Probably the best parenting book I have read. Less permissive than Naomi Aldort, but very much about treating children with respect.
Feb 22, 2008 Kate rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: any parent
I LOVE the compassionate philosophy espoused in this book. SO kind and respectful of children. A very quick and easy read.
Apr 05, 2008 Michelle rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents, grandparents, anyone who likes kids
Great book! I took a class from Pam once, this book is basically the text to her class. Very helpful and inspiring.
This book was basically just a good reminder to build good relationships with your kids.
Roslyn Ross
Excellent. Not perfect, but excellent, especially the first few chapters.
This is definitely my parenting style, and her words speak to me. . .
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  • Kids Are Worth It!: giving your child the gift of inner discipline
  • Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles: Winning for a Lifetime
  • Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting
  • You Are Your Child's First Teacher: What Parents Can Do with and for Their Children from Birth to Age Six
  • Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child
  • Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene
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Pam Leo is an independent scholar in human development, a parent educator, a certified childbirth educator, a doula, a parent, and a grandparent.

"After my first child was born in 1972, it became my passion to understand human behavior. I began to study child development, psychology, sociology, and anthropology. I wanted to learn why we are each born as a tiny innocent being, and some of us grow up...more
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