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Burn, Christmas! Burn!!
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Burn, Christmas! Burn!!

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3.9  ·  Rating Details ·  10 Ratings  ·  5 Reviews
Burn, Christmas! Burn! is a humorous Christmas book about Santa’s Elves who are tired of being third-rate drones in his oppressive sweatshop. Santa is greedy and old. Mrs. Claus is the crotchety and mean CFO. And Rudolph? He’s got a score to settle too. Years of backbreaking labor have finally done in the Elve's patience. They've reached boiling point. They're mad as hell ...more
Hardcover, 40 pages
Published November 2nd 2004 by Soft Skull Press
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(showing 1-17 of 17)
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Melki
Dec 12, 2015 Melki rated it really liked it
Bobby wants a pair of skates and Suzy wants a sled.
Nellie wants a storybook. We just want them dead!


Have you ever stopped to consider the plight of Santa's elves?

They toil endlessly making toys without a break, while all you do is take, take, take!

Our workshop is intolerable: a filthy caustic hall!
We breathe in toxins all year long; OSHA never calls.
We've finally had enough of this, of being third-rate drones.
This year we're coming unannounced into your cherished homes.


That's right - the elves a
...more
Chris Morrow
Mar 14, 2011 Chris Morrow rated it it was amazing
I found this book an incredible read. The rhyme, meter and pace were terrific. The story is fun, the characters are great. It rolls from page to page bringing the reader along for an intense and delightful ride.

Yes, it's about the elves overthrowing the evil Santa
Yes, it's tad dark for a christmas story
Yes, it's great fun to read!!

I look forward to reading it again, really... it makes my heart race!
Richard
Burn, Christmas! Burn!! is a humorous Christmas book about Santa’s Elves who are tired of being third-rate drones in his oppressive sweatshop. Santa is greedy and old. Mrs. Claus is the crotchety and mean CFO. And Rudolph? He’s got a score to settle too. Years of backbreaking labor have finally done in the Elve's patience. They've reached boiling point. They're mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. What to do?
Well, overthrow Christmas, of course. Thus the Elve's plot: to turn the reindee
...more
Spicy T AKA Mr. Tea
Jan 11, 2008 Spicy T AKA Mr. Tea rated it it was amazing
Shelves: children, labor
Amazing! Elves overthrowing their evil task master Santa demanding total liberation! Last December Rochester Indymedia did a collectivized reading of this book before our After-Critical Mass film screening. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed it. A great bonding moment!
Gideon
Jan 30, 2011 Gideon rated it it was amazing
This is a Christmas book. With some angry elves.
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Brittnie
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Erin Nudi
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Jan 03, 2015
Shelli Clemenceau
Shelli Clemenceau rated it it was amazing
Jun 21, 2014
Yvonne
Yvonne rated it really liked it
Apr 20, 2013
Gmr
Gmr marked it as to-read
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Graham East
Graham East rated it it was ok
Jan 30, 2012
f
f rated it it was ok
Mar 11, 2008
Kevin
Kevin rated it it was amazing
Oct 06, 2007
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171341
I'm having a hard time deciding on whether I should write this in the 1st person or not. So let's just take the easy way out.

From Wikipeida:
Brian Gage (born 4 October 1973) is an American author of satire, fairy tales, and fiction. He was born and raised in Youngstown, Ohio and graduated from The Ohio State University with a degree in business. His writing was discovered by Nick Mamatas & Sand
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