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How to Survive a Horror Movie

3.99 of 5 stars 3.99  ·  rating details  ·  1,355 ratings  ·  193 reviews
Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover:

• How to Perform an Exorcism
• What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer
• How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheri
Paperback, 176 pages
Published July 30th 2007 by Quirk Books (first published May 1st 2007)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Mike (the Paladin)
I saw this book reviewed here...and felt strangely compelled to reserve it at the library. Just after picking it up and reading the opening chapter on how to tell if you actually are trapped in a horror movie....I discovered a box of very old books I hadn't realized I even owned??? Upon finding them I went searching out shelf space for the dusty old volumes (oddly as soon as I went into the dark bedroom to shelve the books my cat screamed and leapt from one of the shadowy shelves right at me. Sh ...more
i had to read this when i saw that he has a jane austen/zombie book coming out soon. this was a good way to kill time until the release date. but now i am finally going to have to read pride and prejudice!! dammit!
Horror movies and I? We go way back. I've been a voracious consumer since I was eight and my enthusiasm for the genre hasn't diminished with ... ahem ... maturity and wisdom. So yeah, it's been a lifelong love affair, one I don't hide, or feel I need to apologize for. Because even amidst the dreck, there exists some awesome cinematic gems, and amidst the classics there are film moments of hair-raising, heart-stopping, enviable genius.

The naysayers who decry: "how can you watch that garbage" are
Nov 09, 2008 Gary added it
Well, now I know that all I have to do to survive is whip my junk out since full-frontal male nudity does not exist in horror films. Cheers!
Brenton Nichol
Perhaps capitalizing on the zombie survival trend, this book attempts to cover ALL manner of horror films and tells the reader how to tell if you're in one and what to do next.

I found it humorous enough, but it felt like the author was rather stretched for material. He seemed to bounce back and forth between two vantage points - one being that there actually is a Horrorverse and you are in it, the other being that you are just on a movie set. The advice for what to do in the actual Horrorverse w
Scott Rhee
Seth Grahame-Smith obviously spent a large part of his childhood (and much of his adulthood) watching horror movies. I can totally relate to this, as I have spent most of my life watching horror movies as well. Clearly, those of us who are not in jail or mental institutions have learned to channel (or divert) our love of horror movies into something healthy. For Grahame-Smith, it's writing books.

In "How to Survive a Horror Movie", SGS has written the ultimate survival guide for the perhaps unli
Jan 05, 2009 Laura rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: horror movie fans
Recommended to Laura by: no one
Shelves: adult
Hilarious! Takes a lot from classic, easy to recognize horror movies and compiles advice in humorous and bizarre lists. This author has a great sense of humor and the book is pretty short which is the perfect length to end before the jokes get stale. Anyone who enjoys the older horror movies like Nightmare on Elm street, Halloween, Friday the 13th, the Shining, Children of the Corn, Pet Sementary, etc. will have fun with this book.
This book wins the award of MOST impulsive buy! But the laughs I
A completely hilarious book with great advice. Seriously, I would carry this with me always just in case that so called fun camping trip turns into a nightmare when we stumble upon an ax murder. You never know when you'll need to reference it. Seth Grahame-Smith covers everything you'll ever need to know if ever caught in a horror movie situation. This will keep you laughing out loud and remembering all your favorite B horror films. I cant wait to read more of his work.
Robert Chartrand
Mar 18, 2009 Robert Chartrand rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Fans of horror movies and/or sitirical survival books
Shelves: adult, teen, non-fiction, humor
Being a huge fan of the comical "survival guides," there was no way that I was going to pass this one up. As the title clearly gives away, the book takes you on a step-by-step journey on how to survive being in a horror movie.
It starts off with how to tell that you are in a horror movie, and then how to figure out what kind of horror movie you are in. From there is gives you advice on how to survive and handle various situations.
The majority of the book goes through all of the stereotypical hor
Tina Rae
May 09, 2012 Tina Rae rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: horror movie fans
Shelves: favorites
This is honestly and truly one of the most hilarious books I have ever read in my life. And to think, I just happened upon it by accident! I was walking through Hastings one night, searching for James Bond books when, suddenly, I saw this one. And I bought it.

Best. Purchase. Ever.

I've always loved horror movies and so I think it's safe to say I've seen my fair share of them. Reading this book is honestly one of the greatest experiences of my life. All of the silly things that happen in horror mo
Mar 25, 2010 jacky rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: horror movie fans!
Shelves: 2010, horror
What a fun book! I was worried that this would be dry like Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, but this was very humorous. Unlike Brooks' book, this does not take the situation seriously. Grahame-Smith toys with the idea that you are actually IN the movie allowing for a lot of humor and less practicality. Not for those who don't know their horror movie basics though, or else they won't find it nearly as funny. I would have laughed out loud in several places if I had read this next to a sleeping ...more
Jennifer Daniel
Too funny!!!! If you liked the nerd in Scream that was warning everyone about classic horror movie mistakes, this is the book for you! My favorite bit of advice was if a ghostly/demonic force was pining you against the wall, begin singing Lionel Ritchie's "Dancing on the Ceiling" and the evil force will immediately throw you out of the haunted/possessed house where you may run away to safety. Every single page had me laughing out loud. Definitely going to look into other work by this author.
Reading the title, and knowing Grahame-Smith's work, I expected this to be a pretty decent read. I am a huge horror fan and have a high standard on what is said on it.

Reading this was an amazing experience.

From Wes Craven's introduction to what you should do when your director is out to kill you, it was a fascinating read for anyone who has even the slightest like for Horror, let alone a huge love for it.
Khawla O 240521
I like the book, but not that much. I think that I reached a point that I didn't want to complete it. But I believe that it would help people who have some issues with horror movie. The book has a good grammar, good structure, easy vocabulary. The book is a combination between comedy and horror. I believe that the tips are very helpful. I recommend you to read this book.
the reason why I chose this book because my older sister lant me the book for a cupal days I read a fuw pages and my sister took it back and i get to finish the book wich im very thankful for and this book was very funny and you can uses that book to know what gonna happan next in a horror movie and in the last pages tall you what good horror movie to whach
It's pretty much exactly what it says on the cover. The premise is that the reader is trapped in the "Terrorverse" where sadistic directors and screenwriters try to kill the reader off, but the reader can expect to survive as long as he or she takes some advice from the book and pays attention to the genre's conventions, avoiding dangerous places and people, and remembering how to defeat, well, anything. For example, killer dolls are not surprisingly vulnerable to dogs and toddlers.

Strangely enough, this book is shelved in the non-fiction section of the library I borrowed it from. All I can say is they must know something I don't.
The book itself was creative, and what you'd expect from a writer like Mr. Smith.
My most negative point would be the art work... It could have been a lot better.
For horror fans who want a giggle.

Vampires, werewolves, zombies, hillbilly cannibals, dream monsters, all are covered and then some! I can't reveal much because you should read this and find out yourself.

The advice is very practical.

The cliche's were on point, as were the tips on how to stay alive. And if you're just screwed. First rule, recognize that you are in the Terror-verse. All of the steps were great and applicable to 96% of the horror movies I have seen.

It was a short and good read! W
Jun 30, 2011 Jennifer added it
Shelves: 2007-reads
I wrote this book. Well, I annotated it. Snarky fun for any fan of the genre.
MOST AWSOEM BOOK EVER!!!! {congenial fat guy} *giggle**giggle**snort*
Jade Adkins
This book was very entertaining and let's be honest, how could you expect anything less from the person who wrote Pride And Prejudice And Zombies? How to Survive a Horror Movie walks you through how to survive a horror movie based on what kind of horror movie it is, who your killer is and what kind of character do you play in the over all scheme of things. It was very entertaining and some of it was very useful in case you found yourself in a Horror movie hell. I also got to mention that the for ...more
This was a delightful piece of meta-fiction. The book provided a distinctly tongue and cheek analysis of the horror movie genera. Although only hitting popular horror movies villains such as slashers, the undead, and aliens he covers them very well though dragging in some areas. Most notably when the book discusses "twist endings". There are a few parts that are like this and feel drug out and the humor falls a little flat when that happens. However the humor throughout the book keeps a good pac ...more
Aug 11, 2011 Rhiannon rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Anyone who LOVES horror movies!
Shelves: 2009-read, favorites
This is by far one of my most favorite sardonic horror books of all time! I mean who doesn't love a good guide on the horror genre!? I know I do!

This little book also packs a lot of punch with in the first few chapters. The artwork throughout the book is awesome and stands true to what is being described in each section of each chapter. I love chapter #2 the most, because it's called 'Slasher Survival School - Masks, Gloves, and Motels'. I feel that the second section called 'Surviving Summer Va
"How to Survive a Horror Movie" is in the vein (if you will) of "The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead" although a bit less deadpan in its humor. It is uneven, an unavoidable part of the genre but very funny in parts and worth reading.

Some of the advice it gives is obvious--altough probably hard to recall when faced with a gruesome death from a horrible monster: "Never wait to you need a gun to check if it is loaded" or "If a giant shark is chasing your family don'
From ghosts, vampires and zombies, to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films.

Readers will discover many useful tips, from How to Survive a Haunted House, How to Kill the Living Dead, How to Perform an Exorcism, How to Stay Awake for a Week, What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer, How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff, How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll, How to S
Nov 17, 2007 Jesse rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Fans of Horror movies and humor
This was a very fun take on horror movies. I'm sure most fans of horror movies have thought, "I would kick the horror movie world's ass". Well this author thought it (or at least thought he could survive the horror movie's ass if not kick it) and he wrote it up with colorful illustrations. From how cabins are the most deadly location in the world, to how your junk just might save you from the devil; this book is loaded with fun facts. The humor is good, if a bit raunchy at times (but come on, yo ...more
Francine Zane
I got this title as an audiobook for a family trip. What made it particularly fitting is the trip broke many rules from the book, proving we might just be headed straight into our own horror movie. From ages 12 to 50, every found humorous bits, and the entire experience was a nice bonding experience. Is it a great work of fiction? No. Does it provided a few hours of amusement? Absolutely.

P.S. The narrator is Johnny Heller. A personal favorite of mine.
How to Survive a Horror Movie is a comprehensive guide to staying alive in the "Terrorverse" (and according to the guide's author, if you are consulting this book, then you are almost undoubtedly trapped in a horror movie).

This guide covers almost any scenario (both general and specific) that you might encounter in the Terrorverse, and offers practical solutions based on historical encounters (as archived in horror movies from the past half-century or so). It also provides handy checklists to he
If you are a horror movie fan (you don't have to be a guru) you will def enjoy this book. It's not a 'horror movies for dummies' but rather a 'OMG I am stuck in a horror movie, how do I survive?!' 12 step guide LOL.

SGS covers all your basic genres from evil dolls to alien invasion to possession, and the penultimate... Satan himself LOL. He also offers tidbits of last chance escape plans in case you are about to get eaten, slashed, or demonized. Smith has a great sense of humor and I didn't feel
Theresa Glover
Consider how you stumbled upon this review. Is the universe trying to tell you something? Are YOU in a horror movie?

“Welcome to the Terrorverse!”

Quirk Books and Seth Grahame-Smith have done it again. Another book of theirs has won my heart. In Danse Macabre, Stephen King speaks of the fine line between horror and humor…this book manipulates the line in an undeniably fun way for a fan of the genre.

Are you sure it's harmless fun that you wandered into because of your sparkling sense of humor and
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Seth Grahame-Smith (born Seth Jared Greenberg) is an American author, screenwriter and film producer. He is best known for his novels Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter which both hit the New York Times' best seller list. Seth Grahame-Smith lives in Los Angeles, California with his wife, Erin, and his son, Joshua.
More about Seth Grahame-Smith...
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, #1) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Graphic Novel Unholy Night The Last American Vampire

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