66th out of 608 books
—
543 voters
Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story
A child of the 1950s from a small New England town, "perfect Paul" earns straight A's and shines in social and literary pursuits, all the while keeping a secret -- from himself and the rest of the world. Struggling to be, or at least to imitate, a straight man, through Ivy League halls of privilege and bohemian travels abroad, loveless intimacy and unrequited passion, Paul...more
Paperback, 304 pages
Published
May 25th 2004
by Harper Perennial Modern Classics
(first published 1992)
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I came out at 17. I came out when I fell for a man 11 years my senior. I fell for a man who, in relation to me, was in a position of authority. It was one of the luckiest things to have ever happened to me in my entire life.
There are many who will read this and self-righteously pronounce it to have been damaging. How very wrong they would be. Damaging is what my life would have been like if I had not met this man. That life is the life that Paul Monette has written about in this book: A life of...more
There are many who will read this and self-righteously pronounce it to have been damaging. How very wrong they would be. Damaging is what my life would have been like if I had not met this man. That life is the life that Paul Monette has written about in this book: A life of...more
This book was very hard to read, and still, it was worth every feeling it summoned.
It's the autobiography of a man who had to hide his true self, it's a journey through the pain of hiding, through the pain of pretending.
His closet and his fears are the same of each person who has to hide, no matter the reason behind it, and it's so very true.
Together with the pain this book summoned in me an incredible amount of anger. No one should go through all of this for his sexual orientation, it's horribl...more
It's the autobiography of a man who had to hide his true self, it's a journey through the pain of hiding, through the pain of pretending.
His closet and his fears are the same of each person who has to hide, no matter the reason behind it, and it's so very true.
Together with the pain this book summoned in me an incredible amount of anger. No one should go through all of this for his sexual orientation, it's horribl...more
I'd like to give it three and a half stars. This book is powerful stuff, and well written. And not dated, despite quickly changing attitudes.
The force coursing through every page is embarrassment, and anger - rage that the author spent so many years loathing himself, or unconscious of his true nature.
BUT this book is not really much of a journey. Between the scene where his mother discovers him messing with another little boy on page 28, and the very final pages of the book, Monette himself doe...more
The force coursing through every page is embarrassment, and anger - rage that the author spent so many years loathing himself, or unconscious of his true nature.
BUT this book is not really much of a journey. Between the scene where his mother discovers him messing with another little boy on page 28, and the very final pages of the book, Monette himself doe...more
This is one of those books that I went in wanting to like. Resurrecting texts from former classes, hellbent on actually reading the books that I was introduced to during my 4 years at college, I picked this one off the shelf, remembering some of the discussions we had about it in my Gay and Lesbian Lit Class.
Monette's story started out a bit dry, but I figured that he had to "set the stage" before he could really get into "it"--his feelings, his experiences. Unfortunately that passionate jolt n...more
Monette's story started out a bit dry, but I figured that he had to "set the stage" before he could really get into "it"--his feelings, his experiences. Unfortunately that passionate jolt n...more
I read this book in my early 20s and it was transcendental for me, a newly out gay man. I went back, recently, and it didn't quite have the same impact.
If you're newly out, or still feel "raw," as only a gay man can feel, in terms of self-image and the worry one can feel about others' image of him, I strongly recommend this book.
If you're sensitive, a reflector, a thinker and a ponderer; if you have so much baggage that it's weighing you down to drowning and you simply need to know that someone...more
If you're newly out, or still feel "raw," as only a gay man can feel, in terms of self-image and the worry one can feel about others' image of him, I strongly recommend this book.
If you're sensitive, a reflector, a thinker and a ponderer; if you have so much baggage that it's weighing you down to drowning and you simply need to know that someone...more
This book is likely to give different impressions to people from different backgrounds, whether if you're a closeted gay, a newly came out man, or just someone who wants to understand more about homosexuals. Monette was very frank and honest in expressing his feelings and confusion over the many years as he sublimated his nature over pressure to appear normal to other people. The first part of the book, mainly about his childhood and teenage years; it was indeed very sad to see anyone has to go...more
I read this book when I first came out. brought me to tears at the end. Although the majority of the story is depressing and sad (filled with self-loathing, death, AIDS, etc). The struggle Paul Monette vividly expresses is one almost anyone can relate to (gay, straight, etc) of accepting oneself and one's journey in life. It is the final pages of the book, his body ravaged by AIDS when Paul is realizing he will soon die, that he expresses his profound realization that he is a normal human being...more
A very honest and open account of a man's struggle with the torments of a life in the closet. A reflection on the oppression of feeling unable able to be one's true self, and the feeling of blissful freedom once the shackles are shucked and one finds the courage to defeat one's own fears, society's bigotry, family expectations, or a friend's pressure and letting the caged beauty inside free. This book encourages anyone who feels trapped to be someone they are not, especially those who are strugg...more
This is the first work of non-fiction I have read since I began writing my novel just over five months ago. Since my novel is about a gay man in his late teens I have focused most of my recreational reading on other works of fiction where the protagonist is gay and/or coming of age. I chose to read Paul Monette’s 1992 agonizing, painful yet beautiful memoir which won the National Book Award for non-fiction because it is not only an important piece of 20th century literature but also one of the m...more
This book was painful to read, not because it was poorly written but because of its intensity. The story of a young gay man trapped in the smothering closet imposed by the societal mores of the 50's and 60's when he grew up. The pain and loneliness of separation and of being different were so palpable they literally tore at my sense of stability. Not least because I am so familiar with that condition from my own childhood and adolescence. The performance this poor boy put himself through to hide...more
May 26, 2012
Nicole
rated it
3 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
emotional deconstructionists
I could only take so much Paul Monette in a single sitting and only under very specific circumstances, i.e. on lazy weekend mornings over a cup of coffee. And only while not fighting on my own emotional battlefront. He is just so...raw. It's brilliant. Remarkable. Inspiring. Frustrating. Painstaking. And best read in small doses.
At times, I found myself underlining every other sentence, marking up entire chapters. Right, and then I would skim, skip and generally pass over whole pages while menta...more
At times, I found myself underlining every other sentence, marking up entire chapters. Right, and then I would skim, skip and generally pass over whole pages while menta...more
I finished this book tonight and I cried. I cried because I had never before read such powerful, proud words on what it means to be gay.
Monette contracted the HIV virus and with it a clarity I have never seen before. He knew at that time that it would be the cause of his death and that combined with all the events of his life up until that point, it made all the pieces fit together in a way that staggers me.
Monette with his verse is able to still maintain the smarts from his earlier work, and y...more
Monette contracted the HIV virus and with it a clarity I have never seen before. He knew at that time that it would be the cause of his death and that combined with all the events of his life up until that point, it made all the pieces fit together in a way that staggers me.
Monette with his verse is able to still maintain the smarts from his earlier work, and y...more
The most I can say at this point is 'thought provoking'.
OK, I have a little bit of time to write something more detailed on this, so here it goes.
Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story by Paul Monette recounts the author’s life growing up in 1950s America, growing up gay, the closet, and learning to come to terms with his true self. There are many times where he describes things in his life that resonate with my own. I too had a thing for paper dolls and I too have to thank my parents for not forcing...more
OK, I have a little bit of time to write something more detailed on this, so here it goes.
Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story by Paul Monette recounts the author’s life growing up in 1950s America, growing up gay, the closet, and learning to come to terms with his true self. There are many times where he describes things in his life that resonate with my own. I too had a thing for paper dolls and I too have to thank my parents for not forcing...more
I picked up this book about 5 years ago because one of my favorite authors, Kathryn Harrison (The Kiss) wrote an introduction to it. It is the biography of a man growing up gay in the suburbs, prep schools, and universities of 60s and 70s-era New England and it perfectly describes what it's like to live in the closet and try and fit in or pretend you're something you're not. I'm re-reading it, out loud this time, to my boyfriend - and every 10 pages or so I get choked up and can't go on because...more
This book was so interesting to read. As a student of the same private school, I could relate in so many ways. The language is brutal, yet beautiful. It is written so thoughtfully and honestly that it is hard not to connect to the author. It has been a while since I actually read this novel, several years, so I am not prepared to make more specific comments. Yet I remember clearly how moving it was to read this book.
Coming of age in the fifties, Paul Monette lived a life that, in a sense, paralleled my own as I too am a child of the fifties. And I also share with him the theme of discovery, the inward thoughtfulness that, if it does not lead every boy to write his own autobiography, it leads them to a life of the imagination and a love of literature and the arts. Paul Monette shares more than his coming of age in the fifties, for his is a story of the outsider, the gay man in the boy whose life leads to the...more
Grade C.
Would have appreciated more of the historical context of why it was so difficult to be gay in those days. First half of book was v readable, but the rest was v repetitive, the lifestyle was pretentious / faux-Bohemian - so was hard to sympathise. Perhaps If I had actually heard of Paul Monette it would have been more interesting..Although now I have read the book and had an insight to his pretentious life, I don't think I would have read it in the first place..
Would have appreciated more of the historical context of why it was so difficult to be gay in those days. First half of book was v readable, but the rest was v repetitive, the lifestyle was pretentious / faux-Bohemian - so was hard to sympathise. Perhaps If I had actually heard of Paul Monette it would have been more interesting..Although now I have read the book and had an insight to his pretentious life, I don't think I would have read it in the first place..
Gave me courage and gumption to pursue my own writing. Full of rage against the hate and indifference. Balanced with a tenderness and appreciation for love. Paul careful examines his past, the succession of closets through which he hid until claiming his ability to love. In owning his sexuality, he finds a deeper capacity to love and subsequently his authentic voice as an author.
This is an incredibly well written memoir. I picked it up on a whim based on the advice of the bookseller. Just calling this a coming out story wouldn't do it justice. It far more complex than that. I like it for its depiction of the New England upper crust in the 50s and 60s (Philips Academy, Yale etc) and his fine-tuned description of the people in his lives. It's the perspective of an outsider looking in.
Page 133 - Desperation:
"Self pity becomes your oxygen. But you learned to breathe it without a gasp. So, nobody even notices you're hurting"
First of all,
I picked up the lines above, as the catchiest statement from the book by the author. I have finished the book last night...
Last few chapters's written in deep words which i should carefully digest (that's slowing me down), but I can feel that Monette is a wounded soul, the oxygen has suffocated him. Some people might seen it as "over reacting" a...more
"Self pity becomes your oxygen. But you learned to breathe it without a gasp. So, nobody even notices you're hurting"
First of all,
I picked up the lines above, as the catchiest statement from the book by the author. I have finished the book last night...
Last few chapters's written in deep words which i should carefully digest (that's slowing me down), but I can feel that Monette is a wounded soul, the oxygen has suffocated him. Some people might seen it as "over reacting" a...more
Very affecting autobiography. Really opened my eyes to how difficult growing up gay is. An angry book--furious in parts--but the struggle to be honest (to move toward becoming a "whole person") is so hopeful and made the story so gripping I couldn't put it down. Everyone has secrets--some people have acres of secrets--that shame us yet help make us strong as well.
I liked the first half of this book better than the second because at some point Monette became very self-absorbed and it was hard to like him. I was impressed at how open and honest he was about his life and experience, but his prose was overly fancified for me and overall this was only so-so for me.
I honor Paul Monette for what he struggled through, I respect the strides he made and the demons he fought, but I didn't want to read about it. I found the book in a "free stuff" box on the street, thought it looked interesting (gay coming-of-age and all that) and read it when I was short of other books. I should have known it'd not be enjoyable; any book that sets out with a stated purpose as a prequel to prove that the author's life was actually filled with pain and repression is going to be a...more
Mar 11, 2013
Fariza
rated it
2 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommended to Fariza by:
Nicol
A gift from a friend. Sometimes you've tried to understand peoples but its just made you more confused. What they need is not an agree from you but a belief that human were created to be different with each other. The conclusion is "I don't know".
# My favorite quote from Paul Monette
"What love gives you is the courage to face the secrets you've kept from yourself, a reason to open the rest of the doors. "
http://farizahrin.blogspot.com/2013/0...
# My favorite quote from Paul Monette
"What love gives you is the courage to face the secrets you've kept from yourself, a reason to open the rest of the doors. "
http://farizahrin.blogspot.com/2013/0...
Apr 25, 2012
Jtp
added it
SIMPLY PUT...ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS IVE EVER READ...BY ONE OF THE MOST PROMINENT GLBT AUTORS OF TEH 20TH CENTURY...
RIP PAUL...
RIP PAUL...
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In novels, poetry, and a memoir, Paul Monette wrote about gay men striving to fashion personal identities and, later, coping with the loss of a lover to AIDS.
Monette was born in Lawrence, Massachusetts, in 1945. He was educated at prestigious schools in New England: Phillips Andover Academy and Yale University, where he received his B.A. in 1967. He began his prolific writing career soon after gra...more
More about Paul Monette...
Monette was born in Lawrence, Massachusetts, in 1945. He was educated at prestigious schools in New England: Phillips Andover Academy and Yale University, where he received his B.A. in 1967. He began his prolific writing career soon after gra...more
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“But the fevers are on me now, the virus mad to ravage my last fifty T cells. It's hard to keep the memory at full dazzle, with so much loss to mock it. Roger gone, Craig gone, Cesar gone, Stevie gone. And this feeling that I'm the last one left, in a world where only the ghosts still laugh. But at least they're the ghosts of full-grown men, proof that all of us got that far, free of the traps and the lies. And from that moment on the brink of summer's end, no one would ever tell me again that men like me couldn't love.”
—
5 people liked it
“The problem with secret crushes: in the absence of requital the love turns bitter.”
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4 people liked it
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