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25th out of 155 books
—
77 voters
On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men
A bold expose of the controversial secret that has potentially dire consequences in many African American communities
Delivering the first frank and thorough investigation of life "on the down low" (the DL), J. L. King exposes a closeted culture of sex between black men who lead "straight" lives. King explores his own past as a DL man, and the path that led him to let go o...more
Delivering the first frank and thorough investigation of life "on the down low" (the DL), J. L. King exposes a closeted culture of sex between black men who lead "straight" lives. King explores his own past as a DL man, and the path that led him to let go o...more
Hardcover, 208 pages
Published
April 14th 2004
by Broadway
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To say that I did not like this book would be an understatement. But first, let me be clear on a few things. For this book I decided to break down how I rated this book based on content, likeability, editing and writing.
I would have thought that with a book like this that made such headlines on the freaking Oprah show would have been better written. The writing for me - though it was a fast read - felt jumbled and paragraphs and sections seemed to be out of place. So essentially the writing and...more
1 like · like · see review
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J.L. King hit the head on the nail with his freshman novel. Although down low brothers is nothing new to our community, they have never been talked about in as open a manner as this. On the Down Low lets you crawl into the life of a creeping man and witness the lies, deception and risk that are involved with such a lifestyle. In a deeply rooted homophobic community, many will shun this book. I applaud Mr. King's efforts. With HIV and AIDS running rampant in our community and DL brothers playing...more
When author J.L. King told Oprah he wasn't gay back in 2004, he CLAIMS he wasn't lying and CLAIMS he was in denial. "I knew I was living a lie," he says "I would do all I could to change who I was. I had girlfriends on the side, I had women, and I would always deny who I was. However, I believe he was just plain lying. After having read Mr. King's book and discussing it during our book club meeting,
it was quite apparent to us that he was not in denial but just living a life of lies.
Throughout t...more
it was quite apparent to us that he was not in denial but just living a life of lies.
Throughout t...more
J.L. King is speaking out trying to prevent HIV disease, which I applaud. He feels that the main reason behind HIV infection, is down low men having unprotected sex with other men and then in turn going back to their wife and having sex with her. I enjoyed this book because it had a good message/ motive behind it. I personally believe the fact that he has sex with other men and does not consider himself gay is crazy. On the other hand, I do understand people's reasoning for not wanting to come o...more
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This book has some potentially impotant information in it. But I found it to be a cheap book with a lot of generalizations and denials. The author was a DL brother, but he has changed his ways. He doesn't really elaborate on his life now, but he really seemed to have a lot of internalized homophobia and self-hatred. Instead of really delving into his own life experiences, beyond a cursory discussion of how he ruined his family's life, he gives us short discussions of other people's DL experience...more
I finished this last week. Impressive work discussing one of the biggest sexual secrets in America today. Although written from an African American perspective, many of the characteristics of brothers on the down low also apply to married white bisexual men as well. King acknowledges this similarity towards the end of the book but focuses more on protecting his sisters in ignorance by enlightening them to the possibility of these relationships as fairly common. I truly cannot find fault with his...more
This book would be a helluva lot shorter if the author took out all the denials about being gay. Dude, you're gay. Accept it. A lot of us have!
Dec 02, 2008
Terri
added it
As much as I like to read, I found this particular book hard to get through. It wasn't boring at all. However, I found it to be troubling. Our brothers need to be more open about who they are (Bi-Sexual, Homosexual, Heterosexual) with the sistah's. Truth be told, we are always the last to know and have to suffer the most from their indiscretions. Now, my reason for not being able to finish the book: it's down-right sickening and disturbing, yet informative. To know that there are signs that they...more
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I have read most of this book more so out of curiousity rather than for pleasure.
I was intrigued yet ashamed by the things that this book revealed to the reader. Call me naive or disconnected from the world, but we just dont expect Nubian men to behave in such a manner let alone nubian men of God. Admittedly, I was a little naive to the sorts of acts which presumably "straight heterosexual" married men in America and the wider world, got up to behind closed doors. It was even more shocking to d...more
I was intrigued yet ashamed by the things that this book revealed to the reader. Call me naive or disconnected from the world, but we just dont expect Nubian men to behave in such a manner let alone nubian men of God. Admittedly, I was a little naive to the sorts of acts which presumably "straight heterosexual" married men in America and the wider world, got up to behind closed doors. It was even more shocking to d...more
I saw this guy on Oprah years ago, so when I saw this book at the library I decided to see what he had to say. I had the impression during the interview that he was 1. a bit full of himself and 2. a bit in denial. I had those same impressions reading this book. It seems that he realizes a bit of that between this and his next book.
I think he has an important health message to deliver, but he gets too bogged down in protecting his own reputation and that of his fellow DL "brothers." Interesting c...more
I think he has an important health message to deliver, but he gets too bogged down in protecting his own reputation and that of his fellow DL "brothers." Interesting c...more
Oct 03, 2008
Kimberly Currie Robinson
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
No one
Recommended to Kimberly by:
Saw him on Oprah
Based on this book, J.L. King wanted the cake, the icing, the glass of milk, and to eat and drink them all. I find this book to be full of excuses for a man to play both sides (in this case, his unsuspecting wife and his play-friends).
If someone chooses to be down-low, low-down, gay, bi-sexual, or anything else that could cause major issues in a relationship, be an adult and bring it up with the person you say you care about. That would stop all the pretense and fear of being caught out. Allow...more
If someone chooses to be down-low, low-down, gay, bi-sexual, or anything else that could cause major issues in a relationship, be an adult and bring it up with the person you say you care about. That would stop all the pretense and fear of being caught out. Allow...more
I wanted to know what was the DL. I hear that some men who are DL are gay men trying to live lives as if they are straight men since it will not accepted in society, in their families, or for religious beliefs. It seems hard to believe based on his title that straight men will sleep with me, I think it is that they have gay insincts and try to live a normal life as pretending to be straight and finally venture out.
Also, used the book for research purposes for one of my upcoming books.
Also, used the book for research purposes for one of my upcoming books.
Hate hate hate this book. The reason why I read this book is that the author was scheduled as a guest speaker on a cruise I was going on. The book did not impress me. It seemed to me that the only reason he came out was that he was caught and that he was still in denial about who he is. After listening to him, I still hate this book. He did made some very good points on the subject of AIDS and HIV. It is great that he open some women eyes to the whole DL thing however, his denial of whom and wha...more
This book was ~awful. I absolutely love the topic: self-identified straight black men that sleep with other men on the side. I initially heard about it from my mom, and then my friend recommended this book. I think it’s really interesting in terms of the macho culture and the fact that they refuse to consider themselves bi or gay. After reading this book, I unfortunately know nothing more about the topic.
The problem is that people with interesting life tales can’t just go forth and write books...more
The problem is that people with interesting life tales can’t just go forth and write books...more
Wow, I first learned of this book on Oprah a few years ago, and he was telling her his story and I couldn't wait to go to Barnes & Noble to get, and when I did, I read it in one day. This book was a real eye-opener about some men. It was pretty damn scary too. I advise all women to read this book. Mr. King's wife wrote her own book, but I never got around to reading hers. I'll have to check it out!
Jan 23, 2013
Prophetic
added it
Nice informative book on why the AIDS virus and HIV is so prevalent in the black women population. A social guide to confused men who don't know which way to turn and how to be honest with their sexuality in the bound confinements of marriage , common law unions, friendships, and other relationships...I heard this is a great book...im about to check it out
Jun 11, 2009
Fredericka
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommended to Fredericka by:
threegirlsstl@hotmail.com
Well, well, I can honestly say that I learned alot from reading this book, it showed me alot of things I had no knowledge of, it helped me to determine what I need to look for when dating someone new. Needless to say most brothers called this author a "player hater" but I considered him a "wake up call"
This was an interesting book and definitely an eye opener to a sad reality. J. L. King boldly exposes himself and the world that is on the "down low." It was mostly based on his personal experiences and seemed like an attempt to apologize to his ex-wife for living a life that was basically a lie.
My only hope for this book is that it bring to light what so many of us sisters who feel we are unworthy of true and real love, to ask questions and really, truly want the answers we seek. Well written and I applaud the brother for exposing the truth.
May 26, 2009
Cheryl Schibley
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
memoir-biography
Very interesting! I was not aware of this subculture until this book brought it to my attention. I think is not good that those who engage in this activity can't be themselves in our society because they usually end up hurting someone else.
I give this 2 stars based more on content then the level of writing. Includes some very interesting and eye opening information but i just couldn't get passed how in denial i found the author to be.
This book blew me away!!!!!!
I'm not against gay relationships but was overthrown
by the game these men play with life and other people.
I'm not against gay relationships but was overthrown
by the game these men play with life and other people.
This book was gross! Why doesn't he just admit he was gay??, Nasty mofo.. book would have been alot shorter if he'd stop fucking around and just stay with man.. from fucing dudes in their ass and going home to his wife!? CRAP
but.. i learnt alot :) COOL BOOK
but.. i learnt alot :) COOL BOOK
I was expecting to read something I didn't already know, however much of what the book talk about I already knew.
I liked the book and learned a lot. I think I dated somebody on the DL but didn't know it until reading the book. LOL
Find this secret world intersting, that so many men lives like this. Very easy read and quick read.
Sep 16, 2012
Mack
added it
A great read! I highly recommend it. It is one of my favorite topics to discuss with like-minded people.
I must say the book was an eye opener and you can't believe some of the stuff that is included, or you just don't want to. I think the author is genuine in telling his story, but I also think he wanted to use this situation to catapult him to the forefront.
Not trying to be overly, judgmental, but I personally think he wants to be seen as the martyr since he was in the position of loving men and loving his wife and children. He was really the one hurting! It's just that in some cases there is ge...more
Not trying to be overly, judgmental, but I personally think he wants to be seen as the martyr since he was in the position of loving men and loving his wife and children. He was really the one hurting! It's just that in some cases there is ge...more
Apr 02, 2009
Dionisia
rated it
2 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
any woman who is unfamiliar with the "phenomenom" of DL men
Recommended to Dionisia by:
Papa
Shelves:
memoir,
nonfiction
This topic is worth reading about, but I can't pretend that the writing is top notch.
This book was amazingly informative, but extremely scary for heterosexual women.
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“...if your man sleeps with men, there is nothing sexually you can do that will make him stop.”
—
4 people liked it
“The black church must preach the truth and become a place where all men can come and hear the word without feeling they will be judged or ostracized, regardless of their sexual orientation.”
—
3 people liked it
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