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The Mall of Cthulhu

3.3 of 5 stars 3.30  ·  rating details  ·  233 ratings  ·  49 reviews

A decade ago, college student Laura Harker was saved from a fate worse than death at the hands (and fangs) of a centuries-old vampire priestess and her Satanic minions. Her rescuer, an awkward, geeky folklore student named Teddy, single-handedly slew the undead occupants of the Omega Alpha sorority house, spurred into heroic action by fate itself, inexorably intertwining h

Paperback, 256 pages
Published June 1st 2008 by Night Shade Books
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The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories by H.P. LovecraftTales of the Cthulhu Mythos by H.P. LovecraftThe Thing on the Doorstep and Other Weird Stories by H.P. LovecraftThe Dreams in the Witch House and Other Weird Stories by H.P. LovecraftNecronomicon by H.P. Lovecraft
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108th out of 146 books — 80 voters
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 412)
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This novel is for you if:

1. You are not a book snob.
2. You have read & enjoyed at least 1 H.P. Lovecraft story.
3. You have a sense of humor.
4. You can overlook some editing flaws.

This novel is not for you if:

1. You think Lovecraft is mediocre.
2. You are a Lovecraft maniac and can't cope with satire.
3. You are expecting the Great American Cthulhu novel.
4. You are a Cthulhu cultist.

This was exactly what I expected: a goofy homage to the Cthulhu mythos. It was also set largely in Providence, w
There are only a handful of Lovecraftian books I've enjoyed and this is one of them. Good fast read, probably better if you know the mythos but reasonably enjoyable if you only have a vague idea of what Cthulhu, et. al, are.
A genuinely funny page-turning horror novel with very likable main characters. Fans of Christopher Moore will really like this.
Cascata Nerina
Mar 10, 2011 Cascata Nerina rated it 2 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: See my Review
Recommended to Cascata by: Gloriavirtutisumbra
It's obviously a first novel, and there are certainly several parts that I really didn't need to read about. For instance there are a couple of bathroom scenes that certainly didn't need to be in there as fully as they were. It's one thing to mention that the character "really has to pee," while on surveillance. It makes it a little more real to us. It's quite another to talk us through the bathroom scene.

Sorry, just had to get that out of the way first. Now back to more thorough things. The st
Nesa Sivagnanam
A decade ago, college student Laura Harker was saved from a fate worse than death at the hands (and fangs) of a centuries-old vampire priestess and her Satanic minions. Her rescuer, an awkward, geeky folklore student named Teddy, single-handedly slew the undead occupants of the Omega Alpha sorority house, spurred into heroic action by fate itself, inexorably intertwining his and Laura's destinies.

After navigating her way through law school, Laura is now a junior FBI agent assigned to the Bureau
A fairly amusing tale of two people thrown together by an improbable event who never quite manage to separate themselves - and a decade later find themselves facing off against a cult determined to bring the Old Ones back. With some newly found friends, and a quasi arm of the FBI, they have to save humanity from their own worse nightmare - and non-Euclid geometry.

"Not the angry white people again. I hate the angry white people....DC doesn't want to hear that the angry white are a terrorist thre
Gregory Gay
I wanted to like this book. I really did.

I love the Cthulhu mythos, and a modern-day, slightly snarky take on Lovecraft's universe sounds like a great idea. There are a few moments of potential, but largely, The Mall of Cthulhu falls completely flat. It isn't funny, just stupidly cheesy. The characters are roughly one dimensional, and it's hard to feel any real sympathy for them.

The actual ideas are good, but Seamus Cooper just can't pull it off. I don't regret reading it, and obviously liked
CJ - So, you wanna play with magic?
Surprisingly good for such an homage to Lovecraft and the horror stories that came after.

Humorous, touching and can get sort of disgusting. Has an X-Files feel to it if Mulder was a scrawny guy who killed vampires and then became an emotional wreck after it and if Scully was a smoking hot lesbian with trust issues and a penchant for using her best friend as an excuse as to why she doesn't have a real life.

All in all, good fun for Lovecraft fans and a nice treat for fans of horror who like their
Jeremy Zerbe
It is not often that I stop reading a book without finishing. Even some of the worst books I've reviewed on here, I've managed to slog through, just in case something changed, just to see what happened, just to see how bad it could possibly get. I'm sad to say that Seamus Cooper's The Mall of Cthulhu has defeated me. I couldn't make it to the end. Hell, I couldn't make it to the halfway point.

I love the Cthulhu mythos. I have multiple H.P. Lovecraft editions, including a giant collection of all
Well, there's no way I *wasn't* going to read something titled "Mall of Cthulhu." And it's a fast read, cute and fluffy in that ironic Cthul-esque sort of way. I appreciated the forthright way in which Lovecraft's racism was addressed, and enjoyed how that translated into cultists whose driving motivation was white supremacism, since that really does make sense.
Scott Wilson
Don't buy this. Don't read it. It's neither successful as a Lovecraftian update nor as a spoof. The characters are flat and uninteresting, the action isn't active, and the writing style is juvenile - not in a charming way but in the "look at me! I'm cool and different!" way.
A satirical look at the Old Ones, mass consumerism, wage slavery, college, and sororities. Full of the kind of fun that involves kicking the ass of white supremacist Cthulu cultists. And really, who wouldn't enjoy that?
This was adorable & made me giggle. Especially since I know Providence. Not exactly high literature, but it was cute and I enjoyed it.
A story that feels like a cartoon with next to no climax and a weird obsession with orgasmic pee, this book was one I had to force myself to pick up to finish.

Cooper tells an interesting story of a pair of people who have shared a life experience involving vampires. At times, we get some very human moments from them, however generally there are some serious problems with Laura and Teddy. Throughout most of the book we are meant to feel sympathetic to them which falls on its face due to constant
Paulo "paper books always" Carvalho
I will give one star because the book is funny at times, but everything else is plain ridicoulous. the main character is a pervert, adventurous, mind-scarred individual who saved a lesbiam female fbi agent from a coven/sonority of vampires and together they are trying to thwart the plans of a group of Cthulhu's cultists. So far so good... from this moment the book went downhill to pure cr*p. SPOILER ALERT all characters are comedians. all characters are fervously against every type of descrimina ...more
Bob Thayer
I think it was a light read that tapped into my dorky side. I also think that other reviewers are a bit too harsh on a book that is, in all honesty, just a fun experiment with a subject that some take far too seriously.

I found the characters to be relatable, even if they were somewhat stereotypical and annoying every now and then. The lesbian aspect of Laura Harker seemed to be a point the author wanted to drive into your skull with a sledgehammer at key intervals. Ted's insecurity is a similar
A cartoonish, fluffy piece of brain candy, "The Mall of Cthulhu" is a snappy but frustrating read, going some interesting directions but weighed down by awkward writing, a rather boring plot, and some heavy handed attempts at social commentary. An action-horror-comedy, with emphasis on the comedy, the story remains very self aware, leading to some tonal issues as it attempts to make jokes, parody Lovecraft and supernatural horror, milk character's emotion for drama, and even make some points on ...more
I think it's safe to say that anyone who chuckles at the title will enjoy the book.

An easy read, which gets right down to business--it assumes you've seen enough people slowly figuring out that supernatural forces really menace us that you don't need that part spelled out, and want to get straight to cultists, beheadings, vampire sororities, and loners investigating these evildoers by scarfing free Wi-Fi at local coffee shops. The constant Mall/Coffeeshop/Unnameable-Terror-from-Beyond juxtaposi
maybe 3.5 stars

I'm pretty sure I enjoyed that more than any actual H.P. Lovecraft work (maybe Colour out of Space being an exception). Could have been the occasional quippy bit, could have been the inclusion of female characters, or could have been the non-Euclidian geometry finally explained. Whatever it was I had a fun time with this one.
1/4 point: This is pretty good! The pacing is surprisingly fast. The characters are all interesting, and the protagonists very likable. This is possibly the best-structured prologue I've ever read - it's extremely, obviously, and immediately relevant to the story.

As I saw in other reviews...the author seems obsessed with the characters urinating, and also the male lead masturbating. It's probably meant to be humor, but I guess it could be Author Appeal.

The male lead is a bit of a Marty Stu, but
Jeff Raymond
This was a fun, quick Lovecraftian homage, to be sure. Ted cleared out a sorority house of vampires 10 years ago, and now he may have accidentally tripped up on a Cthulhu cult trying to bring the Great Old One back via a weakness in the universes in Providence. So Ted and his FBI friend are left to try and break this thing up before it's too late.

This is truly nothing of significant note. In the annals of mythos fiction I've read of late, this was better than most, but still somewhat flawed over
This may be the start to a new series, and it has potential. The narrative is a little rocky at times and a little thin in others, but its a first novel from what I can tell. Brave not only in creating a parody of a famous coffee house named after a minor character in Moby Dick, and in making it absolutely clear in the very beginning that no romantic interest will ever occur between the main characters. And it has not only Fleetwood Mac (the band) jokes, but also gives a whole new perspective to ...more
So.. the title suggests that it may be about a place where I can get my shopping done before "The Stars Are Right", but... no, nothing like that.

It's a parody set in the the Lovecraft world/mythos, and has more to do with bathroom jokes and lesbian humour than, y'know, Things Man Was Not Meant to Know.

Well, don't say I didn't warn you about the .. erm... INDESCRIBABLE horror in this one.
If you are a fan of the Cthulhu mythos and have a twisted sense of humor than ignore the low ratings. This book was sheer fun to read! It really makes fun of the whole cult of Cthulhu thing very well. I will say there were times I was speed reading due to a part that was kind of meh, but overall this was one of the more enjoyable "horror" books that I have had the pleasure of reading.
Rather poorly written. I did not really enjoy any of the humour and rather just constantly noticed that the author was attempting humour. The book failed at being a homage to Lovecraft due to the author's continuous need to call Lovecraft a lousy writer and racist at every opportunity he got. And it failed at being scary (although it wasn't supposed to be).
A relatively light read, not particularly well written, with somewhat weakly drawn characters, but with all that said, I did enjoy it. There were a couple of good gags in it which made me laugh and it ended in a satisfying way. Leaving plenty of room for sequels (something I haven't yet looked for).
Kevin Mantle
I never heard of this, but liking the Mytos, and finding it for 50p in a Lewisham charity shop I thought I'd give it a go. I'm pleased I did. It's an easy undemanding read and if the thought of someone dancing on top of the big C himself, then go for it. It made me smile a few time as well.
Imagine an adult Shaggy and Velma and you're pretty much spot on with the protagonists to the story. It's a knowing elbow to the side for essentially any sci-fi or horror geek. I recommend it, but not for anybody with their nose held too high in the air.
Ground breaking literature? Hell no! But it was fun to read
C'mon, how could you not want to read this? A definite case of judging a book by its cover. It was as fun and goofy as any book about vampires and racists and eldritch horrors could be.
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