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Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands
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Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands

4.2 of 5 stars 4.20  ·  rating details  ·  508 ratings  ·  44 reviews
If you re sick of all the ways you ve tried to bring about change in your marriage the silent treatment, nagging, one-way discussions, or pleading it s time to set aside those broken methods for a Christ-based approach. This book demonstrates how women can inspire, influence, and help their husbands move in positive directions. Replacing your plan of action with God s lead ...more
Paperback, 251 pages
Published March 26th 2007 by Zondervan Publishing Company (first published 2006)
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This book was an amazingly refreshing eye-opener to God's call for wives in their marriage ministry. It's not a guide on how to "change your husband". This book is all about changing your marriage for the better by starting with YOURSELF. Thomas, charges wives to embrace the high call of marriage. The goal here, is that ultimately the change taking place in your spiritual walk with the Lord (taking on a Christ-like attitude) will be an example for your husband and call him to grow closer to God ...more
Tamara Sam
If you view your marriage as a ministry, understanding that it's much bigger than 'just being happy', then you should check out this book. All that stuff sounds great; but practical meaningful application is what we crave.

This isn't a book outlining the 10 steps to fixing your husband. Instead it speaks to wives about how to allow God to change your view of marriage, and of your husband.

I highlighted the crap out this big.. lol But now here comes the real challenge: transforming what I now know
This book was totally infuriating to me. Why? Because the author is probably right. The basic premise of this book is if you, as the wife, do the cooking, cleaning, child rearing and everything else you can possibly do, all without complaint and making your husband feel like he is the greatest man on the planet, then MAYBE, in a few weeks, months, or years, your husband will become the partner you would like him to be.
This book gives hope and a strategy. Choosing to love your husband whatever his failings in the context of you being a loved child of God is a surprisingly empowering message for a wife. The case histories are believable and inspire the reader to get busy.
Cindi McMenamin
I read this book as research in writing my book "When a Woman Inspires Her Husband." This book was insightful and had great biblical advice on marriage as well as good insights by the author, although it starts off assuming the husband is pretty messed up or the wife is very frustrated in wanting to see some changes in him. Overall an excellent read, though.
This is an absolutely great book for understanding your man from a man's perspective but fully sympathizing and engaged with the woman's perspecitve. If you got a lot out of "For Women Only" you will really appreciate this book which expands and goes much further than that one. Highly recommended. I would like to read his other books on marriage now.
Kristi Thomas
I deeply appreciate Gary Thomas' work, and this one didn't dissapoint. Great writing, authentic, easy to follow, sound theology, and grounded in Scripture. Any woman- married or single- would benefit from reading this book and applying it to their life.
Another in the seemingly-trademarked-array of "Sacred" books, this one focuses on how wives can influence their husbands. The first section emphasizes one's identity in Christ and reminds the reader to seek fulfillment in Christ, not in one's husband. The second section covers the way men think, the importance of marriage, and the most effective ways to communicate with and understand one's husband ("your man"--yes, he uses that term!). The third section gives some specific situations in which w ...more
This book was amazing. It really challenged me as a wife and inspired me to work on some things in my life/marriage. I have already recommended it to one friend and would recommend it to others in a heartbeat. I think every Christian wife should read this book, there is a lot to take from it.
This book is unique in that it is written by a man to help us better understand the kind of love our husbands thrive on. I learned so much by reading this book that I am hoping to practice in my own marriage.
I was very apprehensive to read this book. I have preconceived notions of what Christian male authors are going to tell he going to tell me to cook and clean more to be a holy wife? Gag.

Alas! I have been equally challenged, encouraged, and enlightened by this book. I've been reading with a group of women and we have all been profoundly affected by this book. We have all learned things about our husbands, our marriages, and our unique, individual desires, and how to serve one another bet
Excellent. This book has changed my heart and my thoughts about my husband, about myself and about my relationship to God. What a help! Definitely a book I will recommend when appropriate. My appreciation to Gary Thomas for writing it as well as his others, Sacred Marriage, Sacred Search. This one, however, made the impact that has already brought about changes in me, because changing the heart and mind always brings about changes in behavior.
Tough but excellent book about how to be the best wife possible. Don't expect tips on manipulation or changing you husband, but do expect to be challenged by what the bible says a woman should do to be the best wife and helper for her husband. Highly recommend this read!
An excellent book for Christian married women from the perspective of a man.
Melissa Andrews
A tough read - not because the material is difficult or poorly written; it's actually very well done - but because what he suggests a wife do to influence her husband often goes against the grain of how we think naturally. Definitely written for those who believe in God and in His power to change people (both wives abs husbands) and to bless marriages.

He gives lots of practical advice and has lots of examples from real marriages. The contents definitely will make you think about your marriage a
This book by Gary Thomas is so so so good. Seriously. It's about how God uses wives to shape the souls of their husbands. Quote: "A woman who commits herself to God and who learns to act with his wisdom is a fully empowered woman who is embarking on an exciting and life-changing journey." And that's only in the introduction!
Julie Lewis
As a follow up to Sacred Marriage, Sacred Influence tackled some struggles of marriage often unique to women. While I liked Sacred Marriage far better and found it ver applicable to women as well as men, Sacred Influence had some great insight and is a worthwhile read in its own right.
Beyond eye opener. This was truly a revelation into the heart of my husband. This book has dynamically changed the way I perceive marriage. A must read for women desperately trying to keep it together and respect their husband, even when they don't always see eye to eye.
Lindsay Foster
I loved this book! It opened my eyes to how to be a better wife. I liked it was written by a man. It's nice to read a book where I'm getting the other perspective.
Well written book for wives exclusively. It does spend a little more time on diagnosing the problem than on solution, but it's not a five step program thankfully. That will never fix a marriage. I got a lot out of this even though not 100% will apply to every husband.
Becky Giovagnoni
It's like Gary Thomas was spying on my husband and me for the past year and a half. I'm not exaggerating when I say that every single page had something that we have talked about or experienced.

A very practical and well-written book.

I highly recommend this book.
This book for Christian wives was excellent, but a little hard to take sometimes. I like Gary Thomas's realistic attitude and practical advice from a Biblical perspective (this is true of Sacred Marriage too). I plan to read his other Sacred books.
Prophetess Cassandra
Very recommended book to read by women especially those who play a godly role in the relationship of Marriage. i am read it over again as demanded by my darling, because he know that is the way to influence him as a wife
Leigh Ann
I liked this book a lot, but not as much as Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. I especially liked chap. 6 on "The Helper" (how can I help my spouse today?) and chapter 8 on Understanding the Male mind. More great writing!
Angie Tolpin
You cannot go wrong with Gary Thomas books. He nailed it again. Convicting, stimulating, thought provoking and leading us women to realize our potential for impact in our husband's lives.

I am learning so much from this book and would recommend it to anyone looking to improve their marriage. It is from a Christian perspective. Very easy to read. My 4 stars may be 5 by the time I am finished.
Laura Shell
This book has really touched home for me. I felt like everything he wrote convicted me on how I have acted and helped me really look at how I treat my husband. I am not finished yet but absolutely Love it.
Joanne Sher
Jun 19, 2011 Joanne Sher rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommended to Joanne by: Ann Hair
Shelves: favorites
What a wonderful book. This gave me excellent insight on how men (and my husband in particular) think, and ways I can help him become the man God wants him to be.

Highly recommended!
Heather Hampton
This book gives a Godly approach to marriage and the importance of being a Godly example to one another. It encourages wives to show love to their husbands in a practical way.
Cheryl Bills
Seeing your husband through God's eyes certainly is a game changer. I have a completely different attitude towards my husband and my marriage after reading this book.
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Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Gary Thomas is a writer, speaker and the founder and director of the Center for Evangelical Sprirituality - a ministry that integrates Scripture, church history and the Christian classics. He's spoken in 49 states, four coutries and his books have been translated into eleven languages. His books have won and be
More about Gary L. Thomas...
Sacred Marriage: Celebrating Marriage as a Spiritual Discipline Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls Sacred Pathways The Sacred Search: What If It's Not about Who You Marry, But Why? Sacred Marriage Participant's Guide: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?

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“With Christ in us and the Holy Spirit transforming us, we really have no excuse for continuing immaturity.” 0 likes
“The church must not teach the submission of wives apart from the sacrificial love and servanthood required of husbands.” 0 likes
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