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Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands
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Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands

4.22  ·  Rating Details  ·  716 Ratings  ·  50 Reviews
If you’re sick of all the ways you’ve tried to bring about change in your marriage—the silent treatment, nagging, one-way discussions, or pleading—it’s time to set aside those broken methods for a Christ-based approach. This book demonstrates how women can inspire, influence, and help their husbands move in positive directions. Replacing your plan of action with God’s lead ...more
Paperback, 251 pages
Published March 26th 2007 by Zondervan (first published 2006)
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Jun 06, 2011 Shaina rated it it was amazing
This book was an amazingly refreshing eye-opener to God's call for wives in their marriage ministry. It's not a guide on how to "change your husband". This book is all about changing your marriage for the better by starting with YOURSELF. Thomas, charges wives to embrace the high call of marriage. The goal here, is that ultimately the change taking place in your spiritual walk with the Lord (taking on a Christ-like attitude) will be an example for your husband and call him to grow closer to God ...more
Tamara Sam
Oct 26, 2010 Tamara Sam rated it it was amazing
Shelves: wives-club
If you view your marriage as a ministry, understanding that it's much bigger than 'just being happy', then you should check out this book. All that stuff sounds great; but practical meaningful application is what we crave.

This isn't a book outlining the 10 steps to fixing your husband. Instead it speaks to wives about how to allow God to change your view of marriage, and of your husband.

I highlighted the crap out this big.. lol But now here comes the real challenge: transforming what I now know
Mar 29, 2011 Lori rated it it was ok
This book was totally infuriating to me. Why? Because the author is probably right. The basic premise of this book is if you, as the wife, do the cooking, cleaning, child rearing and everything else you can possibly do, all without complaint and making your husband feel like he is the greatest man on the planet, then MAYBE, in a few weeks, months, or years, your husband will become the partner you would like him to be.
Mar 31, 2014 Sally rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
Another in the seemingly-trademarked-array of "Sacred" books, this one focuses on how wives can influence their husbands. The first section emphasizes one's identity in Christ and reminds the reader to seek fulfillment in Christ, not in one's husband. The second section covers the way men think, the importance of marriage, and the most effective ways to communicate with and understand one's husband ("your man"--yes, he uses that term!). The third section gives some specific situations in which w ...more
Dec 29, 2014 maggie rated it it was amazing
This book gives hope and a strategy. Choosing to love your husband whatever his failings in the context of you being a loved child of God is a surprisingly empowering message for a wife. The case histories are believable and inspire the reader to get busy.
Mar 17, 2014 Lisa rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nonfiction-faith
I was very apprehensive to read this book. I have preconceived notions of what Christian male authors are going to tell he going to tell me to cook and clean more to be a holy wife? Gag.

Alas! I have been equally challenged, encouraged, and enlightened by this book. I've been reading with a group of women and we have all been profoundly affected by this book. We have all learned things about our husbands, our marriages, and our unique, individual desires, and how to serve one another bet
Melissa Andrews
A tough read - not because the material is difficult or poorly written; it's actually very well done - but because what he suggests a wife do to influence her husband often goes against the grain of how we think naturally. Definitely written for those who believe in God and in His power to change people (both wives abs husbands) and to bless marriages.

He gives lots of practical advice and has lots of examples from real marriages. The contents definitely will make you think about your marriage a
Cindi McMenamin
Jul 28, 2011 Cindi McMenamin rated it really liked it
I read this book as research in writing my book "When a Woman Inspires Her Husband." This book was insightful and had great biblical advice on marriage as well as good insights by the author, although it starts off assuming the husband is pretty messed up or the wife is very frustrated in wanting to see some changes in him. Overall an excellent read, though.
Oct 09, 2010 Marliss rated it it was amazing
This is an absolutely great book for understanding your man from a man's perspective but fully sympathizing and engaged with the woman's perspecitve. If you got a lot out of "For Women Only" you will really appreciate this book which expands and goes much further than that one. Highly recommended. I would like to read his other books on marriage now.
Kristi Thomas
Mar 10, 2015 Kristi Thomas rated it it was amazing
I deeply appreciate Gary Thomas' work, and this one didn't dissapoint. Great writing, authentic, easy to follow, sound theology, and grounded in Scripture. Any woman- married or single- would benefit from reading this book and applying it to their life.
May 31, 2013 jenn0021 rated it really liked it
This book was amazing. It really challenged me as a wife and inspired me to work on some things in my life/marriage. I have already recommended it to one friend and would recommend it to others in a heartbeat. I think every Christian wife should read this book, there is a lot to take from it.
Dec 06, 2011 Indira rated it it was amazing
This book is unique in that it is written by a man to help us better understand the kind of love our husbands thrive on. I learned so much by reading this book that I am hoping to practice in my own marriage.
Jun 06, 2014 Marie rated it it was amazing
Excellent. This book has changed my heart and my thoughts about my husband, about myself and about my relationship to God. What a help! Definitely a book I will recommend when appropriate. My appreciation to Gary Thomas for writing it as well as his others, Sacred Marriage, Sacred Search. This one, however, made the impact that has already brought about changes in me, because changing the heart and mind always brings about changes in behavior.
Lungile Lechesa

Learned some important things. All easier said than done, but no one said marriage was going to be smooth sailing. A challenge to myself to be more insightful.
Jun 27, 2014 Lisa rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Tough but excellent book about how to be the best wife possible. Don't expect tips on manipulation or changing you husband, but do expect to be challenged by what the bible says a woman should do to be the best wife and helper for her husband. Highly recommend this read!
Sharon Honeycutt
Highly recommended for all wives who want a Godly relationship with their husband.
Richelle Wright
Feb 23, 2016 Richelle Wright rated it really liked it
Very challenging thoughts if you seriously want to see your marriage grow...
Apr 21, 2014 Drgiv rated it it was amazing
An excellent book for Christian married women from the perspective of a man.
Lynette Myers
Oct 15, 2015 Lynette Myers rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jan 31, 2016 Pam marked it as to-read
Mar 25, 2013 Jewel rated it liked it
Shelves: marriage
This book by Gary Thomas is so so so good. Seriously. It's about how God uses wives to shape the souls of their husbands. Quote: "A woman who commits herself to God and who learns to act with his wisdom is a fully empowered woman who is embarking on an exciting and life-changing journey." And that's only in the introduction!
Julie Lewis
Dec 07, 2012 Julie Lewis rated it liked it
As a follow up to Sacred Marriage, Sacred Influence tackled some struggles of marriage often unique to women. While I liked Sacred Marriage far better and found it ver applicable to women as well as men, Sacred Influence had some great insight and is a worthwhile read in its own right.
Aug 20, 2014 Sherry rated it it was amazing
Beyond eye opener. This was truly a revelation into the heart of my husband. This book has dynamically changed the way I perceive marriage. A must read for women desperately trying to keep it together and respect their husband, even when they don't always see eye to eye.
Lindsay Foster
Jul 04, 2014 Lindsay Foster rated it it was amazing
I loved this book! It opened my eyes to how to be a better wife. I liked it was written by a man. It's nice to read a book where I'm getting the other perspective.
Dec 06, 2015 Meagan rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, christian
Thomas's book offers ideas for strengthening a marriage regardless of its current status - whether a marriage in trouble or one that's pretty good. His ideas challenge women to be godly wives and encourage them to seek to honor God in their marriages and families.
Dec 10, 2014 Maria rated it really liked it
Well written book for wives exclusively. It does spend a little more time on diagnosing the problem than on solution, but it's not a five step program thankfully. That will never fix a marriage. I got a lot out of this even though not 100% will apply to every husband.
Becky Giovagnoni
Mar 30, 2011 Becky Giovagnoni rated it it was amazing
It's like Gary Thomas was spying on my husband and me for the past year and a half. I'm not exaggerating when I say that every single page had something that we have talked about or experienced.

A very practical and well-written book.

I highly recommend this book.
Oct 09, 2008 Brenda rated it really liked it
Shelves: marriage
This book for Christian wives was excellent, but a little hard to take sometimes. I like Gary Thomas's realistic attitude and practical advice from a Biblical perspective (this is true of Sacred Marriage too). I plan to read his other Sacred books.
Prophetess Cassandra
Nov 25, 2009 Prophetess Cassandra rated it it was amazing
Very recommended book to read by women especially those who play a godly role in the relationship of Marriage. i am read it over again as demanded by my darling, because he know that is the way to influence him as a wife
Leigh Ann
Jun 12, 2009 Leigh Ann rated it really liked it
I liked this book a lot, but not as much as Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. I especially liked chap. 6 on "The Helper" (how can I help my spouse today?) and chapter 8 on Understanding the Male mind. More great writing!
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Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Gary Thomas is a writer, speaker and the founder and director of the Center for Evangelical Sprirituality - a ministry that integrates Scripture, church history and the Christian classics. He's spoken in 49 states, four coutries and his books have been translated into eleven languages. His books have won and be
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“The church must not teach the submission of wives apart from the sacrificial love and servanthood required of husbands.” 3 likes
“What if your husband’s faults are God’s tools to shape you? What if the very thing that most bugs you about your man constitutes God’s plan to teach you something new? Are you willing to accept that your marriage makeover — the process of moving a man — might begin with you?” 2 likes
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