God Is a Woman: Dating Disasters

by Ian Coburn (Goodreads author)

book data

8 ratings, 3.12 average rating, 1 review (more data...)

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published

November 1st 2006 by Firefly Glow Publishing

binding

Paperback, 284 pages

isbn

0978797957 (isbn13: 9780978797959)

description

Book Description
Comedian Ian Coburn re-lives his funniest dating failures in the best dating advice book geared toward both sexes. Ian share...more

[close] Book Description
Comedian Ian Coburn re-lives his funniest dating failures in the best dating advice book geared toward both sexes. Ian shares lessons learned from his embarrassing escapades and tackles some of the biggest questions men and women have about each other: Do guys know they favor one breast over the other? Why do women like jerks? Why don't guys call? Why don't women call back? What's the best way to approach a woman at a bar? He admits it's harder to be a woman than a man and tells why.

Ian's funny, edgy style and fresh advice, have enabled him to do something no one has done effectively previously--write a book about dating and sex that appeals to both genders. Unlike other authors, Ian is not just comfortable with his "game;" he is comfortable with women. His book spawned his syndicated dating advice column "Lunch is Not a Date" and has garnered great reviews from the pua community. It also landed him a spot on Lifetime's site as a dating expert. His stories and advice truly appeal to everyone. The book has ranked #1 in humor on Amazon.ca and other sites repeatedly. Publishers are beginning to translate it into other languages.

Ian's advice is appealing because it is fresh, original, and works. He doesn't lump all men and women into one category; rather, he examines the different types of each and how to work with their personalities, like diffusing the bitter friend in order to pick up the woman you like or why women shouldn't date their guy friends. While other experts prattle on about tired techniques to get a phone number, Ian tells you how to make sure the woman will return your call, not just get a number. It's no wonder this book is a big hit.

From the Publisher
Comedian Ian Coburn wanted to share with the world the zany stories that happened to him with women. They were too long for a standup routine, so he offered to write that routine in a book. We happily obliged.

It just so happens that Ian also wanted to share dating and sex advice that he's learned from his various escapades. After each story, he reviews what he learned, gives a few examples of how he put that knowledge to successful use in the future, and provides quick pieces of dating or sex tips between chapters.

Unlike self-help books, Ian's book is actually categorized as "humor." It has to be; it's simply too funny to be categorized in another genre. If you like standup comedy, you'll love this book. If you want excellent dating and sex advice, you'll find that inside, too. That's the real beauty of God is a Woman: Dating Disasters ... guys can pick it up without the stigma of buying a self-help book. (Guys don't like to buy self-help books. We all know that.)

From the Author
Go to the bookstore and you'll see a bunch of books on sex, a few books filled with advice for men on how to score beautiful women, and oh... ten thousand books filled with advice for women on dating.

The problem? They're all separate. Why? Don't this things need to go together to work? What good is knowing everything about sex if you can't get a date? How can you get a date if the book telling you to do "this and that" is in direct conflict with the book telling your date to do something else?

I always wanted to tell my dating failures onstage because they are very funny and informative. They are too long, though, to work in a standup routine, so I'm glad I was able to put them in a book.

From the Back Cover
Ever feel like God is against you when it comes to dating, sex and one-night stands? She is.

Comedian Ian Coburn relives his funniest dating failures in the best dating advice book geared toward both sexes. While Ian shares the lessons he learned from his embarrassing escapades in his hilarious standup fashion, he tackles some of the biggest questions men and women have about each other: Do guys know they favor one breast over the other? Why do women like jerks? Why don't guys call? Why don't women call back? What's the best way to approach a woman at a bar? Why are men so bad at reading signals? He also admits that it's harder to be a woman than a man and tells why.

Whether the story is about the time he was fooling around in his mom's car while he was supposed to be bringing Drew Carey offstage or how he graduated college still a virgin; or the time Jenny Jones grabbed his butt and hit on him or his downward spiral to behaving like a jerk culminating in a night on the town with Damon Wayans, it's all here--openly honest and hilarious--including Larry the Cable Guy's real name and what Nikki Cox is like in person. So sit back, relax, get ready to laugh and find out why God is a Woman.

Celebrity comments about Ian's comedy and writing:

"Very funny." -- Drew Carey (The Drew Carey Show)
"Very talented." -- Damon Wayans (My Wife and Kids)
"Funny and edgy; love the sarcasm." -- Nikki Cox (Las Vegas)
"Fun-nee!" -- Larry the Cable Guy (Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector)
"Captivating . . . intriguing." -- Joan Cusack (Various films)

Publisher and agent comments about God is a Woman:

"Too big for us; funny." -- Capital Books
"Hilarious . . . can't wait for it to come out." -- Basic Books
"Funny . . . made me laugh pretty hard."-- The Waxman Agency

About the Author
Comedian-turned-screenwriter Ian Coburn was one of the most highly sought standup acts on the comedy circuit throughout the nineties. He still boasts the industry record 106-straight weeks on the road. Ian has written two feature length screenplays for hire along with nine of his own. He writes fast, knocking off some topnotch scripts in less than a week. His manager is currently negotiating the options of two of his scripts while he is developing a third with Davis Entertainment (Predator; Flight of the Phoenix; I, Robot.) Ian is also under consideration for a staff writing position on a newly pitched television series. His scripts have won screenwriting contests, including HSI's competition.

Standup comedy and the road shaped Ian's life and personality... it also gave him some crazy dating stories.

Excerpted from God Is a Woman: Dating Disasters by Ian Coburn. Copyright © 2006. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
From the Introduction

When I first started to date, I was the same as everyone when they start to date--confused and scared. Like most guys, I looked to magazines and movies for advice. Both sucked. Magazines told me all I needed were some cool clothes, a hot car, and the right cologne, along with a few million dollars to pay for all that crap. The articles were nothing more than guys on ego trips bragging about their sexual conquests; I learned nothing. Movies skipped the most important scenes, where the guy says all the right things to the girl. Instead, movies showed the guy meeting the girl, then cut to them in bed together; big f[...] help. To make matters worse, my mom gave me a book about chickens laying eggs and lambs suckling. Someone shoot me, I thought.

What I needed was a book with honest, adult advice--which wasn't afraid to get graphic when necessary--that taught me what to say, what actions to take, and how to read women. My sisters seemed to need similar information about guys. It would help if the stories were funny so I didn't feel so alone and self-conscious. Better yet, if some of them included celebrities, they'd be even more entertaining and really put me at ease. (If I knew celebrities struggled with sex and dating, I'd feel better about my own problems with them.)

No such book was ever published. Much to my surprise, as I got older I found I could use such a book even more. Then one day I woke up and realized: I could write the needed book. I had the celebrity stories. I had learned about sex and dating the hard way. I could tell guys how to get women. And I could tell women what men were thinking, as well as how to identify the good guys from the creeps. And I could do it all through stories of my funny failures.

Streeter Seidell and Sarah Schneider, CollegeHumor.com
"We loved it! The best 269 page book about dating disasters we've read this year!"

Actress Tina Kraus
"Funny!"

Comedian Rocky LaPorte
"Loved it! Ian's book is very insightful and learned a lot from it, mostly that women are crazy and Ian's a perv."

Mystery Method Forum
"Nothing short of hilarious. (on the advice) AWESOME stuff!!"

Legal Pub Blog Review and Discussion (60 comments)
"The new bible for college students."

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07/08/07

Jason Pettus rated it:

Read in July, 2007

(Full review can be found at the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com].)

For those who don't know, in the years I was a creative writer myself (mostly in the 1990s), one of the scenes I spent a lot of time in was the poetry-slam one; indeed, the Chicago slam community in the '90s was the largest on the planet at the time, due mostly to the slam actually being invented here by a guy named Marc Smith (at a bar called the Green Mill, which believe it or not is j...more (Full review can be found at the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com].)

For those who don't know, in the years I was a creative writer myself (mostly in the 1990s), one of the scenes I spent a lot of time in was the poetry-slam one; indeed, the Chicago slam community in the '90s was the largest on the planet at the time, due mostly to the slam actually being invented here by a guy named Marc Smith (at a bar called the Green Mill, which believe it or not is just four blocks from where I live). And as part of being involved with the slam community back then, I also ended up getting involved a little with the comedy scene as well; and that's because, for those who don't know, the arts here in Chicago tend to intermix between disciplines a lot more than in many other cities. Steppenwolf Traffic series, in which the famed theatre company invites a series of writers, musicians, dancers, performance artists and others to collaborate on cutting-edge projects, which are then presented for live audiences in the smaller second space of the Steppenwolf complex at North and Halsted.)

You see, the stand-up comedians here in Chicago (the ones who haven't moved to LA or New York, that is) tend to be more literary than a lot of the others, more cutting-edge, and this is why certain slam poets like myself tended to do well in those venues back then, as well as certain comedians doing well in traditional poetry venues. And thus it was that I became friends with a whole group of comedians back in the '90s, which I just found such a strange and fascinating experience; because really, just about every comedian I've met now in life seems to have such an odd combination of personality traits, a kind of overwhelming pathos about the world that hides just underneath that incessant drive to make people laugh. The more one studies comedy and what exactly comedians do, the more one realizes just how much anger and blackness there is at the core of the creative process, and how the best comedians are able to take this burning anger and turn it into something that makes the general public guffaw and applaud and in general have a light and entertaining evening. And believe me, if you ever want an interesting evening, go out drinking sometime with someone who can pull something like that off.

It's what I kept thinking about, to tell you the truth, while reading through Chicago comedian Ian Coburn's first full-length book, the comedically tragic faux-real-faux dating guide God Is a Woman, which (if I have my story right) is also the first book from new Chicago basement press Firefly Glow. Because let's just put the cards on the table right away: the book is funny, and it's offensive, and it's thought-provoking, and it's offensive, and did I mention that it has the possibility of really offending a certain amount of you out there, especially of the female persuasion? Because ultimately, what this book is "about" is actually...(less)

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