Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife by Irene Spencer

Jan 02, 2010 Petra X rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: popculture-anthropology, philosophy-religion

I've read several books on the practice of polygamy by Fundamentalist Mormons, but none were as good as this book. It is a very detailed account of the philosophy and lifestyle of these people, the original Mormons. The subjugation of women, not as low as Muslim women, but still below any other group of women in the West, is evident. Not just from their almost non-position in the religion - they are just vessels to produce bodies for waiting souls - but also because they are essentially slave la...more I've read several books on the practice of polygamy by Fundamentalist Mormons, but none were as good as this book. It is a very detailed account of the philosophy and lifestyle of these people, the original Mormons. The subjugation of women, not as low as Muslim women, but still below any other group of women in the West, is evident. Not just from their almost non-position in the religion - they are just vessels to produce bodies for waiting souls - but also because they are essentially slave labour. The husbands in these polygamous families detailed in the book are away working arriving home with meagre amounts of money (the bulk of it was donated to missionary and other church work), and expecting the up to 9 wives and 58 children to support themselves and produce spare agricultural produce to sell.

Wives have to give their consent to a husband taking more wives, but if they aren't informed, well.... Husbands play favourites, living with the wife they are in love with, deny sex except for procreation (unless, it is hinted, you are a favourite), and have a fine old time of life with the promised reward of becoming gods on their own planets after death.

Only men can be so elevated and this godhead status is almost guaranteed if he marries a 'quorum' of seven wives and has fifty children (who could support 58 people? This is where the slave labour comes in, endless work for no personal reward). A woman's reward is that is she is very, very good, sweet and obedient then her husband will pull her through 'the veil' of death and ennoble her to be a goddess on his very own planet. If she is a bad woman, not sweet, obedient or uses birth control or tries to frustrate her husband in his duty of marrying many women, then she will burn in hell for all eternity. Nice.

I understand that the rule of polygamy was abandoned when a condition for statehood of Utah was that polygamy be banned although the US courts had long ruled it to be illegal.

I do have difficulty with a religion whose founder was a convicted conman and whose revelations (and those of his high-status co-religionists) benefit men, make use of women and whose beliefs are very hard to sustain 'gods on other planets' in today's world. When those religions then change their own absolutely sacred laws,perhaps the most essential one, because it is expedient to do so, I have a hard time seeing how anyone could actually believe in it and adhere to its principles. I also have a hard time in wondering how present LDS Mormons can accept the watering-down of the religion knowing it was done to appease the government, and side-lining of those who still follow it. This book does nothing to make me more positive and understanding. But then faith never required evidence, and facts that don't fit can always be explained away in any religion or set of beliefs.

That said, I respect people because of their actions and sometimes because of what they say, not because of what they believe - I'm not the thought-police. And I'm aware that my own existentialist philosophy isn't held in any high esteem by those who have other beliefs.

The book is a relevation of what it actually meant to be a polygamist wife. Highly recommended.(less)

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Aug 27, 2007 Renee rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: want an in depth look and understanding of pologamy

Shattered Dreams is a fascinating look at a way of life totally foreign to most people. Irene Spencer grew up in the branch of the Mormon faith that still believed in polygamy. The second of what was ultimately her husband's ten wives, she became the mother of thirteen of his 58 children. The statistics are important as they show the unimaginable situation in which Irene Spencer spend much of her life.

This book is a brutally honest memoir of a woman' life. It follows her from place to place, ne...more

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Sep 12, 2008 Maren rated it 5 of 5 stars

I have so many thoughts after reading this book. Let me preface my notes by saying that I could hardly put my mind to rest last night after finishing this...:

1. Why in the world did Irene stay with Verlan so long? My conclusion is that either she's a complete push-over and enabler, or the brainwashing was beyond her ability to get past. Or both. Honestly, I am still in awe at her raising dozens of kids (yes, dozens since two of her sister-wives left for jobs and she raised their kids too in many...more

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Mar 30, 2009 Michele rated it 5 of 5 stars

Too Many Wives . . . Too Many Kids
I can honestly say I’ve never read anything quite like the life story of Irene Spencer in her memoir Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist’s Wife. Stories like this are seldom told. Either the subject doesn’t live to tell the tale, or more specifically, her lack of formal education, interaction with the outside world OR her religion would forbid it.

My first thought upon finishing this long story of poverty, grief and heartache was, thank GOD she escaped this...more

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Sep 24, 2008 Sara rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Sara by: Newspaper

Shelves: non-fiction, 2008, memoir

It was interesting to read this after reading Carolyn Jessup's Escape. Both memoirs are about the author's polygamous marriage with the "blessing" of FLDS, but they center on different aspects of it; whereas Escape spoke not only of the authors abusive marriage but also getting out of it and getting custody of her children through the court system, this book is more about the hardships endured by those in this polygamous society and the author's struggle with her belief system and her desire to...more It was interesting to read this after reading Carolyn Jessup's Escape. Both memoirs are about the author's polygamous marriage with the "blessing" of FLDS, but they center on different aspects of it; whereas Escape spoke not only of the authors abusive marriage but also getting out of it and getting custody of her children through the court system, this book is more about the hardships endured by those in this polygamous society and the author's struggle with her belief system and her desire to get out of it.

Parts of Shattered Dreams were frustrating because of how indoctrinated and brainwashed the author was by the "prophets" in her FLDS sect. She'd grown up being told time and time again how polygamy is a mandate from God and that it never fails; only people fail to live it properly. Considering the struggle at the end of Escape, where Jessup deals with trying to get her kids away from all this brainwashing and not completely succeeding, I could understand here just how deep this brainwashing ran and how horrible it was. Irene Spencer wanted to marry someone else, but a leader within her society ruled against it and she went along with his judgment, instead becoming the second wife of her half-sister's husband against even her mother's protests (her mother fled from polygamy and failed to reverse the indoctrination given to her children). From there, because polygamy was illegal, Spencer and her family move to Mexico and then Nicaragua, all in an effort to conceal their plural marriages. Reading about the conditions in which she lived was amazing - no electricity, hand washing all clothes, no plumbing, etc. I felt so angry at times, thinking about how anyone could willingly live this sort of life simply because they were repeatedly told it was God's will!

I thought this book, overall, was a very good read. Some of the dialogue felt a bit stilted, but not enough to lessen my enjoyment of the book. Though the content continually frustrated me, it certainly opened my eyes to a lot of things...(less)

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Apr 23, 2008 Abby rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites, non-fiction

I really enjoyed this memoir. Knowing very little about the fundamentalist Mormon church, I found Spencer's candor and honesty about being a polygamist's wife refreshing, heartbreaking, and informative. Spencer never stoops to the level of pathos or moralizing. She tells her story straight-up and to the point, detailing how she falls in love with her brother-in-law and becomes his second wife, the abject poverty she lived in for much of her life, bearing 13 children, and more often than not, car...more

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Nov 28, 2007 Carrie rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Mormons

Shelves: effed-up-memoirs, biography, religious-themed, book-club

While reading this book, I discovered my husband may still technically belong to the Mormon church his mom signed him up for as a kid. Well, probably not, since they excommunicated his sister.

Myself, I totally disagree with Mormonism, polygamy, and people who do things for religious purposes, especially when it goes against common sense. I kind of enjoyed the story just to see how different someone's life can be from mine. There were a lot of extremely unfortunate incidents described here that...more

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Nov 11, 2007 Skye rated it 3 of 5 stars

Fascinating train wreck of a story, but my feminist sensibilities had a hard time allowing the author to lead such a life. She turned down a chance a real love to do what she thought god wanted. Strike one. Followed "signs" to lead her into what she knew would be a life of submission and silence. Strike two. Any children would also be prey. Strikes three, four, and five.
At the hands of men, she had decades full of heartbreak, broken promises, charismatic bullies and endless suffering under the p...more

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Oct 29, 2007 Julie rated it 3 of 5 stars

It was interesting to me that a book on polygamy was on the Amazon Top 100, so I put it on hold at the library. I think the authors story, while certainly tragic, is different from most of the polygamist girls that are married off young. Her mother left her father (as did another of the fathers 3 wives) when the author was young. Her mother then begged her for years not to follow into polygamy. She had a nice guy she was in love with who was desperate to marry her - monogamously. Yet she still c...more

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Sep 24, 2007 Karen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Reading this book left me with at least one clear and resounding thought: "Thank God I wasn't raised in a crazy religious cult." Irene Spencer tells a mesmerizing tale of her upbringing as a fourth generation fundamentalist Mormon, an upbringing that led her into a polygamous marriage at age sixteen. Taught all her life to uphold the Principle of plural marriage, the author sacrificed again and again, leaving a man she truly loved (but whose insistence on monogamy would have damned her eternally...more Reading this book left me with at least one clear and resounding thought: "Thank God I wasn't raised in a crazy religious cult." Irene Spencer tells a mesmerizing tale of her upbringing as a fourth generation fundamentalist Mormon, an upbringing that led her into a polygamous marriage at age sixteen. Taught all her life to uphold the Principle of plural marriage, the author sacrificed again and again, leaving a man she truly loved (but whose insistence on monogamy would have damned her eternally, as her elders told her) to enter a world of poverty and unhappiness. Amazingly, she stuck with the marriage for twenty-five years, produced fourteen children, and "welcomed" nine other wives into her family. She moved dozens of times, all around Mexico, and Nicaragua. Most of her homes had no electricity. Jealousy and misery marked much of the author's life, though she kept her spirits up through a strong sense of humor.

I got angry reading this book, frustrated, and often compeltely horrified. I wanted the author to remove her children from the life she'd given them. Then I'd remind myself that the author was the product of indoctrination. The fact that she left the lifestyle at all says something about her determination.

I recommend the book with a few reservations. It's a great story, but the dialogue often seems unrealistic. This could easily be explained by the fact that the author was trying to recreate conversations she'd had decades ago. Sometimes I wondered about the authenticity of the spirit of those conversations though. I can't say for sure what made me think this except that some of the conversations felt too scripted. The second thing that bugged me about the book was that the author, although obviously happier once she finally left polygamy, traded in one kind of fundamentalism for another. She proudly talks about being a Born Again Christian in the epilogue. She ended the book still talking about God's great gifts in her life, and I wondered why she felt that her Mormon fundamentalist beliefs were all wrong but these new ones were all right. (less)

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Oct 19, 2008 Maria Armada added it

Very interesting book. A quick summation would be: a biography of a woman who followed a fundametalist mormon lifestyle which demands polygamy. Her husband married 7 women, she was the second wife, and bore him 13 children (out of a total of 47) and raised them in dire poverty in rural Mexico.
I had passed up this book several times but then I read "Prophet of Blood" about the FLDS cult run by the LeBaron brothers and this women was married to one of the "non-prophet" brothers (over 4 Lebaron b...more Very interesting book. A quick summation would be: a biography of a woman who followed a fundametalist mormon lifestyle which demands polygamy. Her husband married 7 women, she was the second wife, and bore him 13 children (out of a total of 47) and raised them in dire poverty in rural Mexico.
I had passed up this book several times but then I read "Prophet of Blood" about the FLDS cult run by the LeBaron brothers and this women was married to one of the "non-prophet" brothers (over 4 Lebaron brothers claimed to be prophets, the "one might and strong" and the other brothers followed them as "god on earth") So I was suddenly much more interested in this book now that I discovered it was about a women married to one of the notorious LeBarons. However, Irene (who was married to Verlan LeBaron who followed brother Joel as a prophet) barely mentions this bizarre fact - at least 265 pages into the book its barely merited more than a passing mention. I'm not sure if its because her life is strange enough without concentrating on the fact that her husband (who had 7 wives total - over 40 children) followed his own brother (Joel) as a prophet while another brother "Ervil" claimed he was the true prophet, split their cult and then ordered his followers to kill Joel - which they did. Ervil went on to order the deaths of over 20 people for not following him as a god's voice on earth.
Instead Irene concentrates on her hardships as living as one of many wives, constantly pregnant, and dirt poor. It's more interesting that it sounds and at times it you think you are reading about a women living in pioneer time of the 19th century instead of an American woman in the 1950's. She delivers over 12 babies for sister wives and friends, gives birth at home to most of her brood.

I have to think she had a lot of editoral assitance or even ghost writer help because the writing is interesting and flows well. I may be mistaken, and maybe later in life she got an eductation, but she was was married and had 3 kids when most girls are graduating high school and was sheltered from reading anything but FLDS scriptures for decades. Education was not a priority for celestial brides. I can't imagine a woman with such a background would be capable of this book without some major help - but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised to find out after her "baby machine" days ended and her husband died she was able to finish her education and expand her horizons. I have about a 100 pages left and at this point I would recommend the book to most people as a very interesting story, but particularly to those interested in polygamy, fundamentalist mormons, and quirky memoirs. My major disappointment is her lack of focus on the cult she lived in for over 20 years. I'm currently on a reading kick about cults (Scientology, Children of God, FLDS, etc..) and after reading about the FLDS LeBaron Cult ("Prophet of Blood") I immediately sought out this book for a woman and insider's view of living within in it. Unfortunately, I've yet to get that from this book. She seems to only want to discuss the hardship and details of polygamy rather than the bizarre cultic and religious beliefs she devoted her and her own children too.

I am still holding out hope that the book will delve more into the topic because it is nearing the 1970's when all the murders Ervil ordered occured, beginning with murdering Irene's own prophet Joel. She will have discuss the cult in depth to some degree to explain the murder of her prophet by his own brother - if she tries to sum it up in a paragraph or two I will be very disappointed.
I figure I will finish the book today or tomorrow and I will edit my review to reflect this. I can at least say it has been a page turner for me. (less)

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Sep 04, 2011 Pauline rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: anyone open enough to read about a life that is not their own

Shelves: autobiography, religion-nonfiction

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jan 16, 2008 Melaina rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

It was so interesting! Sometimes you hear news stories about Mormon polygamists, but it was so compelling to hear a woman share her real-life experience of it. By the time her husband died, at the age of 51, he had 10 wives and 58 children. Irene herself had 13 children- most of the time they lived in complete poverty, with no electricity and running water, with clothes made out of flour sacks. Despite the bleak physical conditions, the thing that seemed to be the most profoundly difficult for h...more

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Nov 25, 2008 Callie rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book is a must read for anyone interested in marriage. But my husband even read it and he isn't interested in marriage at all. (ha ha) It is fascinating and one of the few books I have read in many years that was genuinely un-put-downable. You will be horrified at what she went through, yet despite the melodramatic title she is able to write about her experiences with grace and a sense of humor. Thank the Lord she eventually got out of it.

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Feb 25, 2008 Alejandra Rodriguez-Boetsch rated it 2 of 5 stars

The good: this book is a window into the life of Polygamy. I had no clue how Pologamy worked or the dynamics and reasoning for it. This book provided me lots of answers and a much better understanding of the "why and how". I am glad I read this book. Something I was suprised about is that this book showed me that even when the plural wifes and the most oppresed in this live style, it is not an easy road for the men either. Your heart breaks reading about this woman' mental and physical inprisonm...more

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Oct 11, 2008 Jessica rated it 2 of 5 stars

I think I was equally horrified and fascinated by this book. The author was a really feisty woman, and that made the situations she had to endure a lot easier to read about. I even found myself laughing at different parts. With that said, I was annoyed at her often inaccurate connections to the LDS and FLDS churches (mostly relating to their reasons for practicing polygamy). I also was disappointed by the ending of the book. I kept waiting for the whole "what didn't kill me made me stronger" spe...more

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May 04, 2013 Sara Kimpton added it · review of another edition

I did not give this book four out of five because it was well written, as it was not. It was written in a rather clunky manner, and could have used some more editing. However that doesn't really matter, because the story that Irene Spencer has to tell is so incredible that after the first few pages you no longer really notice any deficiencies in the writing.

Irene Spencer married at the age of sixteen. Like her mother and grandmother before her, she was a polygamous Mormon wife. Her husband was a...more

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Jan 18, 2009 Bookworm rated it 5 of 5 stars

Irene Spencer was born into a polygamist family. Her mother, was the second of her her father's four wives, one of these wives was her own aunt: her mother's sister.

Irene goes on to describe how she and her siblings suffered through extreme poverty. As I was reading this book, set in the 1950's, I pitied Irene and these children. It's so incredible that people live this way, and so unbelieveably sad.
I didn't think I would enjoy this read, but after a few pages, I was hooked. Irene's story was v...more

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Dec 13, 2008 Amanda rated it 4 of 5 stars

Written about and by a former Morman whose husband was a polygamist, this autobiography gave the honest and painful account of what it's like to be 1 of 9 wives. The author married at the ripe age of 16 and she had 7 children. At times, her family was so poor, they resortted to eating rotton or disposed of potatoes. Her first hand account gave the story a tone and style that made me very empathetic to her stress and frustrations. At times, her husband would leave most of his wives and children i...more

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Nov 26, 2008 Lisette rated it 5 of 5 stars

A fascinating memoir - a personal and amazingly honest look into the world of polygamy. I was struck by the strength and resilience of the author, Irene Spencer. She speaks honestly about the emotional rollercoaster that comes with being the second of multiple wives and the difficulty of having to share your husband's attention and affection. There are many small details about day to day life and the complicated logistics that come with being a sister wife and having 13 children (her husband Ver...more

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Mar 01, 2013 Nancy rated it 3 of 5 stars

As can be gleaned from the book's title, the fundamentalist Mormon tradition is not portrayed in a flattering light here. This tale is as much about life as a polygamist's wife as it is about the internal battle of indoctrination versus common sense. The recurrent theme: Irene is aggravated by the constant slights of her polygamist husband; yet, she stands by him. She never manages to leave Verlan, despite her perpetual outrage over the division of his attention among his 9 other wives (!!) and...more

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Aug 28, 2012 Valerie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Another great "fly on the wall" read. This was a memoir about the experience of one woman's life in polygamy, set in the 1950's. Throughout the book, Irene Spencer experienced extreme sadness, jealousy, and poverty as a result of her lifestyle. With the debut of shows such as "Sister Wives" on TLC, viewers saw the smiling faces of the wives and the husband (shocker) and were meant to believe that everyone in the situation was content and happy. Counterintuitive as hell, especially after reading...more

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Jul 08, 2012 Donna rated it 5 of 5 stars

I've read other books about polygamy and the lifestyle but this is the first one that actually told the realistic day-to-day life of a "sister wife." The author was honest about her feelings and the severe poverty and emotional turmoil of living this kind of lifestyle. Though I was frustrated with her for choosing this life when she had other options, I found myself feeling great compassion for her and for her husband (though I didn't want to) because he was as much a pawn caught up in this fals...more

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Apr 22, 2012 Becky Rose rated it 3 of 5 stars

This starts out in Murry Utah and Irene, the writer is a 4th generation polygamist. It starts with her childhood and her mothers misery, leaving after dad goes to prison and her falling in love with a man who is 13 years her senior. She's only 16 and is torn between marrying him or her 1/2 sisters husband Verlan. She picks Verlan and becomes a second wife. Her life is mostly spent in Mexico, in farm land, in the mountains and by the ocean and for a while in Nicaragua. She lives in extreme povert...more

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Jun 09, 2011 Megan rated it 5 of 5 stars

Battered but Never Broken
One hears the word “polygamy” and a cache of Mormon related humor jumps to the lips. But for hundreds of women, the subject is not exactly as lighthearted or as ephemeral as a joke. Nevertheless, in her memoir detailing her life among the FLDS, Shattered Dreams, Irene Spencer is able to humanize this concept so foreign to most that it seems as realistic as a third arm, through her humor and incomparable ability to love, showing a spirit that was battered, suppressed and...more Battered but Never Broken
One hears the word “polygamy” and a cache of Mormon related humor jumps to the lips. But for hundreds of women, the subject is not exactly as lighthearted or as ephemeral as a joke. Nevertheless, in her memoir detailing her life among the FLDS, Shattered Dreams, Irene Spencer is able to humanize this concept so foreign to most that it seems as realistic as a third arm, through her humor and incomparable ability to love, showing a spirit that was battered, suppressed and left for dead, but never destroyed.
My first encounter with Shattered Dreams occurred last summer in the LDS related literature section of the Public Library, where I had gone for some levity over ridiculous anti-Mormon propaganda. Instead I found Irene Spenser's chronicle in my hands. I clichély could not put the book down, sitting in the library isle despite repeated warnings that I was “violating fire regulations." "Well yeah, yeah, that's too bad," I would think, "right now I'm too busy having a life altering experience. Come back in a few." Spencer had dumped me into the barren wasteland of "what if?" She incapacitated into a state of paralysis as she nonchalantly recalled living in a camper trailer with her 13 children; of the insanity that ran in her husband's family; of her five fellow wives.
That "what if" of polygamy has stayed with me throughout this entire year, creeping up on me when I least expect it. While cooking dinner for my family, riding my bike, taking a hike, the idea would whisper in my ear, bringing images of myself toting around a baby in an ankle length dress. But in the end I was drawn back to the book, asking a much more selfish and angry question: Why? Why did it take her husband's death to spark her departure? Why did she endure even one day of this life? How can she still smile? Why did she not break, loose her autonomy, in this truly horrific life she had lead?
Upon this second reading, after a year of contemplation and primal fear, I uncovered two main factors: her overwhelming ability to love passionately and undeniable spunk. She truly loved her husband, even as he added more and more wives to their family. She adored her dozens of children, in a world where most struggle with one. And Ms. Spencer didn't just give birth to 13 children, she "popp[ed] out kids like popcorn," rocking the boat of FLDS convention with her effervescent honesty. In a world where women were taught to be as unique and docile as livestock, Irene Spencer was able to develop a sense of humor to carry her through even the most trying times.
Fear forgotten with the promise of comprehension, I was able to leave the book not haunted by "What if" but examining the question that Irene asked of herself: "Can I ultimately choose the best for myself over the negative forces that I face?" Yes, Shattered Dreams was meant to shock, even horrify, but overall it was meant to empower those tied by the raptures of corrupted traditions. It brings out that question in all of us, forcing us to ask whether we have the strength to overcome. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who has ever been ensnared by the trap of "What if?" and has never dared to answer "Why not?"
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May 05, 2011 Valerie rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was an amazingly heart breaking tale of a young girl who's upbringing led her to seek to become someone's second wife. She was a fourth generation polygamist, growing up all over Utah and Arizona. The Church of Latter Day Saints had long ago shunned the practice, so these "pligs" were left to fend on their own, making their own churches, following their own "prophets" (all of which insisted that the more wives you had, the better your chances of securing a place in heaven were).

As you can i...more

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Apr 03, 2011 Misha rated it 3 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed reading the perspective of one polygamists's experience. She was not entirely factual, especially when she spoke of the LDS church, but I did find her story intriguing. How she could remember so many details and conversations, is a little questionable, but otherwise I think it's a very interesting read. There seem to be so many more problems, jealousies and sadness in this type of relationship. Irene Spencer used the quote from Brigham Young that said "Polygamy will dam more peo...more

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Feb 15, 2011 Rev.dulce rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: christianpractices

Dr. Larry Crabb is a well-known psychologist, conference and seminary speaker, Bible teacher, popular author and founder/director of New Way Ministries. In his book “Shattered Dreams: God’s Unexpected Path to Joy”, he writes about our shattered dreams as being “ordained opportunities for the Spirit first to awaken and then satisfy our highest dream” (5).

Crabb uses the story of Naomi from the Book of Ruth in the Bible as the guide for his book. He begins by telling the devastating loss that Naom...more

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Jan 26, 2011 Melissa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: religion, non-fiction

Having already read "His Favorite Wife" I was much surprised to find out that this book was written by a sister-wife of "His Favorite Wife"'s author. Eagerly, I set into it to find a different perspective of the same family. And like the others, I found it immensely heart breaking.

Irene starts the tale of her life as a small girl growing up in a polygamous family. Coming from four generations of polygamy, the doctrines are all she knows of life. When her mother leaves her father and becomes marr...more Having already read "His Favorite Wife" I was much surprised to find out that this book was written by a sister-wife of "His Favorite Wife"'s author. Eagerly, I set into it to find a different perspective of the same family. And like the others, I found it immensely heart breaking.

Irene starts the tale of her life as a small girl growing up in a polygamous family. Coming from four generations of polygamy, the doctrines are all she knows of life. When her mother leaves her father and becomes married to an abusive man, she escapes to her Aunt's polygamous family and in doing so meets the charming Verlan LeBaron. While she has a love at home, but sadly only one that would turn into monogamous for he and give her no hope of being "exalted" she turns to him thinking it would be better for her future.

In a secret wedding, she becomes his second wife. Only then does she realize the heartache she's gotten herself into. She has to compete with his first and to her mind, favorite wife who is also her half sister. Throughout the years she has thirteen children with Verlan and also sees the addition of 8 more wives to his family. Each one breaks her heart and she wants some time with him. Throughout these years she is forced to move a number of times and must make do with many hardships and living in poverty.

Surprisingly there's not much in there about her sister-wife Susan who was the author of the aforementioned book but Irene does say that she thought of her fondly and held no grievances towards her. It was interesting to see the difference between the two books because in Susan's book she made Irene out to be happy and cheerful and loving, while in this book it was clearly shown that she was always miserable. Irene had a sense of humor though and to my opinion that had to have helped keep her going despite everything.

Such a sad book but it was nice to see that she was finally able to leave and found love and someone who deserved her. I was shocked to find out how large her family has grown. With thirteen children she now has 118 grandchildren and 37 great grandchildren. That's a whole lot of family!

After reading so much about polygamous families and thier lives I find it so unbelievable that more is not done to help those that want out. I know there are several groups that have been formed but it seems like in Utah, Mexico, and other areas that there is not much accountability for the despair these people live. Hopefully as more books like these come out there will be more women who are able to escape this life.

Having wrote the book herself, I would have to say Irene did a marvelous job. She tells her story clearly and concisely and even manages to put a bit of humor in such a sad story. I strongly recommend reading this book just for the value of learning.

Shattered Dreams
Copyright 2007
385 pages
Also includes a good portion of photos in the middle.
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Dec 11, 2010 Phoebe rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, religion, lds, polygamy, feminism, loved-it

I have this weird fascination with fundamentalist Mormon polygamists.

It started, of course, with Big Love. I’m not a particularly huge fan of the show—I find the compound stuff stiflingly boring, and have never been able to muster up any sympathy for Bill Paxton’s character—but there’s something about the lives of the wives and the way they conduct this complex mental arithmetic to explain away human reactions like jealousy which captivates me.

What’s implied on the show—and it’s reality TV count...more

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BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/275893.Shattered_Dreams?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1173337287l/275893.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/275893.Shattered_Dreams?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife by Irene Spencer[/url]

Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife

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Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife

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Books by Irene Spencer

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Other Editions (18)