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84th out of 409 books
—
462 voters
There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate
This book reveals the origin of self-hate, how self-hate works, how to identify it, and how to go beyond it. It provides examples of some of the forms self-hate takes, including taking blame but not credit, holding grudges, and trying to be perfect, and explores the many facets of self-hate, including its role in addiction, the battering cycle, and the illusion of control....more
Paperback, Revised Edition, 264 pages
Published
October 1st 2001
by Keep It Simple Books
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A Zen infomercial for the powers of meditation. Well, no it's a little more than that. The subtitle may be off-putting to people who don't take as broad a view of the term "self-hate" as the author, a Zen Monk, does. However, in true Zen fashion, Huber is talking about ... "suffering." On p. 209 she specifically states, "Suffering provides our identity. Identity is maintained in struggle, in dissatisfaction, in trying to fix what's wrong. Suffering, egocentricity, fear, self-hate, [the] illusion...more
Feb 07, 2010
John
added it
pg 124 - 125
"At some point, now or later, you're going to have to risk BEING YOU in order to find out who that really is.
Not the conditioned you, not the "you" you've been taught to believe you are, who you really are. And this perhaps will be
the scariest,
the most loving,
the most rewarding
thing you have ever done."
So how do I tell the difference between the conditioned me and Me? Like this:
pg 220 - 221
"What's Really Going On
This is why meditation, paying attention, awareness, and long retreats a...more
"At some point, now or later, you're going to have to risk BEING YOU in order to find out who that really is.
Not the conditioned you, not the "you" you've been taught to believe you are, who you really are. And this perhaps will be
the scariest,
the most loving,
the most rewarding
thing you have ever done."
So how do I tell the difference between the conditioned me and Me? Like this:
pg 220 - 221
"What's Really Going On
This is why meditation, paying attention, awareness, and long retreats a...more
This is a playful and disarming introduction to Zen Buddhism written for people (like me) who grew up believing that self-correction is the path to happiness.
I'm currently reading The Mandala of Being by Richard Moss which is a much more "serious" examination of the exact same topic. I'm glad I read Huber first, though, because her spacious presentations and almost childlike handwriting gave me the humility I needed to actually begin practicing.
I'm currently reading The Mandala of Being by Richard Moss which is a much more "serious" examination of the exact same topic. I'm glad I read Huber first, though, because her spacious presentations and almost childlike handwriting gave me the humility I needed to actually begin practicing.
I recommend this book to lots of people. Cheri Huber writes with simple wisdom in language that is easy to understand. So many of us were brought up with "Christian" concepts which teach us subtly (and not so subtly) that there is something wrong with us that we need to spend our lives fixing or atoning for. What a waste of precious time and energy!!
As with most self-help books, the value in this Zen-oriented approach is in the patience of waiting for the tidbit that is of particular value to oneself. The first thought is exclusionary "oh, this doesn't really apply to ME." And, this book may not, as it initially appears to be geared to those who are excessively self-critical and people-pleasing. But in a deeper reading (and it can be read very quickly) with a more open mind, I found that it was applicable to me not only to some of the unapp...more
When this book was given to me as a gift I read the title and was a little offended. "What, he thinks that I think that something is wrong with me?" Then my gears started turning: "Maybe there is..."
Ironically, this sort of defensiveness and the resulting negative self-talk are exactly what Cheri Huber dissects in a book that is far more spiritual than psychological.
This book is anti-self help because it promotes a belief that everything you need is inside you - there is nothing to fix, the self...more
Ironically, this sort of defensiveness and the resulting negative self-talk are exactly what Cheri Huber dissects in a book that is far more spiritual than psychological.
This book is anti-self help because it promotes a belief that everything you need is inside you - there is nothing to fix, the self...more
best book to read if you have low self-esteem and you need a self help book. Talks about self love and self-hate and how taking care of ourselves BEFORE taking care of others is NOT selfish. It goes into how we were dooped to believe lies that we need to be "nice" and "kind" and take care of others. This is the first book I read by Cheri Huber and I like her writing style. Big letters, looks like she had fun writing it. About 100 pages in a 16 size font. Sometimes a 30 size font to get the point...more
"Student: Belief in fairness is such a setup for self-hate. 'If life were fair, if things were balanced the way they should be, this wouldn't be happening to me.' It's easy to go from there to, 'I must have done something wrong.' It's that old, 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' I guess there aren't bad things and good people, just things and people.
Guide: And that's frightening, isn't it? Because it means that we have no control..." (p.139)
"You cannot be nonviolent if there is any part...more
Guide: And that's frightening, isn't it? Because it means that we have no control..." (p.139)
"You cannot be nonviolent if there is any part...more
From my Amazon.com review:
"We all do it (or did it at one time)...we all believe in the voices that criticize ourselves. Those voices pound our self-worth down and build-up our fears. This book is about the first step in discovering your true and powerful self -- that person you know you could be if the chains would just come off; the person who brings joy to the lives of those around you. It's all about replacing that fear and hate with love...Love for yourself.
If you find yourself in a vicious...more
"We all do it (or did it at one time)...we all believe in the voices that criticize ourselves. Those voices pound our self-worth down and build-up our fears. This book is about the first step in discovering your true and powerful self -- that person you know you could be if the chains would just come off; the person who brings joy to the lives of those around you. It's all about replacing that fear and hate with love...Love for yourself.
If you find yourself in a vicious...more
if you look at this book, you would never think that i would like it. heck, i was shocked i even started to read it before just taking it back (the joys of buying books before seeing them) simply because there is a weird use of white space in the book, crazy little drawings, and the font is large and child-handwriting-like. (also, it bears the dubious category placement of "self-improvement".)
but, with one minor exception, gosh darn it, i kind of agree with the whole damn thing. and it's present...more
but, with one minor exception, gosh darn it, i kind of agree with the whole damn thing. and it's present...more
Cheri Huber has been a student and teacher of Zen for many years. Her books are written so simply, with child-like illustrations, to help us adults with complicated minds to understand. It was written in such a simple and honest way that the meaning of "There is Nothing Wrong With You" slipped past my analytical mind and into my heart. This lady writes about unconditional love and self-acceptance in a way that all of us can grasp and actually make happen in our lives.
Seemed very simplistic at first, but moves forward into some pretty powerful territory even for those who have read similar things in the past. Cheri Huber's approach is informed by her Zen Buddhist background, but you don't need to be a Buddhist to appreciate this book and her approach applies to people from all spiritual paths - or no spiritual path at all. Her focus is on the ways in which our language and behavior create and support an atmosphere of self hate within us. Everybody should read...more
Well let's start with I would have given it 5 stars if not for the religious overtones. Great book to raise awareness of how we inflict pain on ourselves. Helped me reduce the amount of emotional cutting, and to recognize when I'm doing it so I can stop it. Highly recommend for anyone who is constantly blaming themselves for everything that goes wrong. Sometimes things just are not in our control...
This book was recommended to me and it's pretty darn fabulous. Lots of pearls in it such as page 59 - "If you believe that punishment works then it makes sense to do a bunch of stuff you consider wrong so you can be punished a lot and life still "work" according to your beliefs." Page 54: Constructive Criticism is a scam run by people who want to beat you up. And they want you to believe they're doing it for your own good." Thought provoking, isn't it?
Hopefully I'll write a more meaningful review after one of my future readings of this book, but for now I just want to note that I do plan to reread this book - over, and over again. It's a process that guides the reader through the ordeal of making peace with the self-defeating junk that we carry around in our heads.
Awesome book about self acceptance and moving beyond being stuck in self judgement, criticism, and self destructive behaviors. One of my all time favorite reads for self transformation and growth. Cheri Huber is one of my favorite authors on these subjects, and has many great books along these lines.
This is a Zen Buddhist book about learning to love yourself by being present and aware of your inner voices that are invariably self-denigrating. "We're our own worst critic." Once you learn to become more aware of all the messages you give ourself throughout the day, it becomes clear that this is a huge understatement. "Self-hate" is really the only way to to describe it. Even a lot of personal growth and spiritual work is based on the assumption that we're broken and need to be fixed. Our only...more
I truly think this is a book nearly everyone should read. Huber discusses how we view ourselves, and how important it is to understand self-hate. Nearly everyone experiences self-hate that leads to fear and anxiety at some point, and combined with my own personal experiences I found this book very helpful.
I will refer to this constantly. Very encouraging, and manages to stay away from all doctrine. Uses little (if any) Buddhist language... very plain and straightforward, fun and easy to read. Love the illustrations. I really liked it and got a lot out of it.
Nov 05, 2010
Margaret
is currently reading it
Reading this per S's recommendation, thanks to her boyfriend's shrink. It is amusing, esp since [and I've only read the 1st 20 pages,] it is all about self acceptance, and yet it is the Revised Edition. What happened? The author did not accept the 1st edition?
This book's type and illustrations are quite unique and I found this book a truly fast read. I have a feeling, however, that the lessons of this book will be slow to sink in and that my rating will increase as I have more time to digest this text.
The book gave me a new way of thinking. It never really crossed my mind not to believe what the voices in my head were thinking. I think it's helpful... I think the free videos of their workshops are more enlightening.
The content was informative, however, the delivery felt a bit strange to me. The layout of the book was also a little odd. I suppose it would be most beneficial for a beginner looking to take those first steps down the path of self acceptance. Reading it certainly won't do any damage!
simple. beautiful. a must read for anyone who struggles with doubt in any way. reframes your world to embrace yourself. i loved this book and would recommend it to anyone.
I loved this book so much. The font is like hand writing and there are great drawings. I am currently reading her other book When Your Falling Dive. I love Cheri Huber.
I learned some very useful things from this book and my partner and I both refer to and grow from her ideas and suggestions. We have both enjoyed the drawings and simplicity and accessibility of the writing. However, I wish it were written with more concrete examples to help me understand and I wish she had explored and addressed the many possible arguments against her ideas. I kept thinking, "Okay, but what about x, y, & z?" and these issues were never addressed. Therefore, I never could be...more
I think the book had some good ideas, but I really disliked the font. It was very cutesy and child-like. I am not a child. I was looking for some real help. It's hard to take a book seriously when it looks like it's written in crayon.
Meh. If my Sponsor hadn't given it to me, I would have stopped about fifty pages in. It's interesting and I love the message: Self-hate only perpetuates self-hate. It's fairly repetitive, though some of the illustrations are cute. I think this would be nice for a tween.
This very simple, clear and loving book was very impactful and helpful. I really enjoyed the casual yet personal way in which it was written.
An essential read for anyone who experiences self-hate and is open to taking up meditation and learning to embrace self-acceptance.
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“If you had a person in your life treating you the way you treat yourself, you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago...”
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Mar 05, 2012 08:28pm