El Y Ella: Dile Si Al Cortejo

by Joshua Harris

book data

901 ratings, 3.65 average rating, 135 reviews (more data...)

rating	frequency	%
5		27%
4		34%
3		22%
2		13%
1		1%

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published

May 15th 2002 by Spanish House (first published 2000)

details

Paperback

isbn

0789909758 (isbn13: 9780789909756)

description

Joshua Harris follows up his bestselling I Kissed Dating Goodbye with Boy Meets Girl, the story of how he met and married his wife, Shannon. Where H…more

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other reviews (showing 1-20 of 1,242)

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Jan 22, 2009

Carolyn rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

bookshelves: 2008, non-ficiton, self-help

A few years ago I read his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which was really helpful for my new outlook on relationships. This one was just as insightful and helpful for me. See, as a young child, I always held to a pretty traditional outlook on what boys should do and what girls should do. Dads work and Moms stay home. Boys do the pursuing and girls do the waiting. This outlook wasn't particularly enforced by anything in my family, that I can recall, it's just what always seemed like the right thi...more A few years ago I read his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which was really helpful for my new outlook on relationships. This one was just as insightful and helpful for me. See, as a young child, I always held to a pretty traditional outlook on what boys should do and what girls should do. Dads work and Moms stay home. Boys do the pursuing and girls do the waiting. This outlook wasn't particularly enforced by anything in my family, that I can recall, it's just what always seemed like the right thing.

Of course, as adults know, we tend to make life more complicated as we grow up. Especially if we don't have strong biblical foundations, but I digress. The point is that as I grew up I succumbed to the pressures that this world offers up in the area of relationships. However, after reading both of these books (as well as my Bible), and sitting under sound biblical teaching on this matter it turns out that the very ideals that I thought were right, and held to as a child, were right. Or I guess what I should say is that they match up with what the Bible has to say about relationships, and it's just been nice to read these two books and have those thoughts confirmed.

Anyway, what Josh proposes, in this book is getting back to the basics which is that a man should only pursue a relationship with a girl once he's ready to get married (men that means you must have employment too). I mean Boaz didn't date around until he came upon Ruth (of course I had to reference my favorite book) and he owned an entire field. He definitely came with his A game. Admittedly, in the book, that doesn't mean that just because you pursue a relationship with someone that you will get married to that person, but rather that unless you are willing to be married to someone you should not be entering into random relationships with the opposite sex. Hence courtship enters the picture. The term courting was actually born out of the middle ages when knights of the court would try and woo the ladies of the court. It has, much to societies chagrin, evolved into what we now know as dating (I cringe at the thought of it evolving into "hooking up", but that seems to be were it has started to go).

This book helped me in a couple areas. Primarily since I've only ever imagined what this aspect of life can, and hopefully will, hold for me it gave me some practical information as to what I should be expecting from any potential suitors, as well as what I should be bringing to the table and prioritizing in my own heart and mind. This particular edition of the book also has some ideas/guidelines as to basic conversations to hold with each other as well as some pretty fun "date" ideas that accompany the actual conversations. For example, and this one would be a little difficult for me due to my dietary needs, but one of them suggests discussing and finding a way to get a decent dinner for under $10 while discussing your financial history, present and the future. The other thing I liked about the book, was that it's not just for young people looking for guidance, which a lot of books of this particular genre are, but rather it speaks to older people, like myself. It addresses certain issues that many of us, who received Christ later on in life face.

But one of the things that I loved about reading this book was how relaxing it was. At best it takes me a week or two to read a book, which is relaxing in and of itself, but this was a huge exception. On Christmas Day I was allowed time to just sit read, which was sooo relaxing. Because of this gift, I basically read the book in a day. Which is ironic because the last time I was able to do that I was on a C-130 flying to Japan for a deployment. And what, pray tell, was the book that I read that leads to this delicious irony. Well it was none other than Joshua Harris' first book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". LOL, I love it:) And I hope that all of you who read this get the opportunity to read the book.(less)

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Aug 24, 2009

Karen Wong rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

Read in January, 2005

or a while I was very curious to read this book Boy Meets Girl, which is the sequel to I Kissed Dating Goodbye. While I kissed Dating Goodbye gives us a radical idea of abstaining from any dating relationship, Boy Meets Girl answers the question of what to do when you have met the right person to marry: courtship. Harris gives in this book an honest look to relationship and its purpose. He gives his story on how he met his wife Shannon, courted, engaged, and married-- all to the glory of God. He...more

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Mar 18, 2008

Kendra rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

Read in January, 2005

recommended to Kendra by: Variety of People
recommends it for: Teens

2005/2006-ish.
This has been an open topic in our family since I was about eleven. Partially because I have an older sister, but also because it's something my parents value (healthy boy-girls friendship/ relationships).
The book itself is very good! I definitaly don't argue with that. I would recomend it to any teenager, especailly those who value healthy boy-girl friendships:)

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Dec 11, 2008

Eddie rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

Read in January, 2001

Josh Harris does a good job of clarifying/correcting legalistic-sounding points made in I've Kissed Dating Goodbye ("Be sure to ask a girl's father or pastor before asking her out", etc.) I think partly, that problem in the first book was due to the fact that he was about 21 when he wrote it, and had his own demographic in mind (people fresh out of, or yet to leave their parents' homes) when saying certain things. It's obvious that a few more years of experience showed him that God can...more

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Jan 13, 2009

Peter rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

bookshelves: faith, non-fiction

Read in January, 2009

recommends it for: Christians

I never thought highly of Christian relationship books, because they always struck me as a way either to avoid tackling issues yourself, or as a way to pander to a 'lonely hearts' club.

I was wrong!

I was recommended to read this by my ex-girlfriend (the fact that we broke up is no reflection on the value of this book). I can absolutely recommend it to others, whether you are in a relationship or not. It's not a roadmap of relationships or some kind of antidote to every pro...more

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Jul 09, 2008

Mollie rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

I picked this up after reading Jessica’s review. As a single Christian it sounded like something I might benefit from reading. When I started it, I wasn’t sure what to expect; now that I’ve finished it, I’m not sure how I feel about it.

I think overall, I liked it. The questions Harris poses and the issues he address in Boy Meets Girl really gave me something to think about. I think as a woman growing up on Sex and the City, being fiercely independent, with the misguided idea ...more

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Nov 05, 2007

Sheila Jungco rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

Read in November, 2007

recommends it for: all

This book is great. I love it as in! It help a lot especially to those , like me, waiting for the right moment of romance. Gosh finding out that I'm hopeless romantic myself hahaha. This book is a must-be-on-your-shelf especially for guys kasi it did widen your idea whats on your future. We must always prepare ourselves for the person we live in with the future. Its about enjoying relationship as God the center of your companionship. It will give you a vision eventually one day you will not be o...more

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Jul 11, 2007

Tia rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

bookshelves: non-fiction, religionreligiouslymotivatedbooks, selfhelp

Read in October, 2003

recommends it for: people with a lot of time on their hands

I read this book while staying at a born-again Catholic friend's house. It was one of the funniest books I've read in a while! I especially liked the parts where he talked about avoiding temptation, even when you're engaged. Some of the ways to make sure you're pure: don't kiss your S.O., avoid full frontal hugs, opting instead for the "side-hug", never stay late at your boyfriend or girlfriend's house, ESPECIALLY if you're watching a movie or some other such temptation ridden acti...more

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Jan 15, 2008

Jennifer rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

bookshelves: christian-life

Here are some hints from the book of what I like the most!

I really like their wisdom about the Art of Skillful Romance:
1) Romance says "I want it now!" Wisdom urges patience.
2) Romance says, "This is what I want and it's good for me." Wisdom leads us to consider what's best for the other person.
3) Romance says, "Enjoy the fantasy." Wisdom calls us to base our emotions and perceptions in reality.

Most people tell us to look at...more

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Aug 15, 2009

Mcdaniels rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

I definitely put Joshua Harris in an unfair box, thinking that he talked about courtship and dating without really having much experience. I was wrong! In this book, I genuninely found some reflective and thoughtful insights that I my cynicism was not expecting. Very worthwhile. While I may not apply everything, I will apply a great deal.

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Jul 15, 2009

Pamela Galloway rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

Read in June, 2009

I recently re-read this book to kind of re-evaluate my dating habits. I found his advice helpful without being legalistic. The only downside was that scripture was often referenced but not quoted. I hate when books do that - I felt like I was constantly grabbing my Bible (which isn't a bad thing, but definitely distracting!).

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Feb 04, 2009

Erin rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

If you have a daughter or son entering into the age of serious relationships (or if you are thinking about entering into a serious relationship) then this is a great book to read. It totally changed the way I approached dating when I was in college. I am looking for my copy because I want to read it again.

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Mar 07, 2009

Brittany rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

bookshelves: christian, research, young-adult

Read in January, 2002

Due to the horrendously old-fashioned sexism, I could barely bring myself to even read the back synopsis of another Joshua Harris book. I'm one for gender diversity, domesticity and chastity - though I don't believe that God expects us to live in the stone age.

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1 comment

Sep 20, 2009

Jaclynn rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

bookshelves: read-in-2009

Read in October, 2009

Kind of a sequel to I Kissed Dating Goodbye, this is the story of Josh's own courtship (and others woven throughout the story) to illustrate some keys points in establishing a courtship/relationship that truly honors the Lord. I would recommend it, especially for those who have just entered in a relationship or considering it. Josh challenges young people in this book!

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Jul 07, 2009

Sarah Ferguson rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

I liked this one as well as Quest for Love...it kinda summed up what he was trying to accomplish with "I kissed dating goodbye" -this one was more insightful with more practical advice for those of us who want to eventually meet someone and get married :-)

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Feb 09, 2009

Dan Marse-Kapr rated it:

(review of isbn 1576737098)

The biggest problem with this book is that the author is clearly working from a complementarian view of gender relationships, a view I reject as logically and biblically unsound (see my upcoming review of "Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood" for more information). Since Harris' whole book turns on this idea, the book has little else to offer.

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4 comments

Jun 18, 2008

Fidi rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

I actually read this book as a rebellious act against Josh's first book "I kissed dating goodbye". I thought that book was impractical and this one was and therefore left nullified that book. Now that I have been in and out of a couple of relationships I decided to actually read the first book all the way through. Long story short, this book outlines a VERY safe way for folks who are READY FOR MARRIAGE to approach "dating". This is the sequel to the first book in which Josh's...more

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Jan 13, 2009

Ayistargirl pajarillo rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

Read in September, 2005

courtship lasts not for a week nor for a month. but it lasts a lifetime. do not have a commitment/boy-girl relationship if you're not ready for marriage.for it is a preparation for future marriage life.

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Dec 09, 2008

Adam rated it:

(review of isbn 1590521676)

Read in November, 2008

I'd recommend this book to anyone who is single, even if they aren't Christian.

"Abstinence until marriage" is confusing advice for young people who aren't made aware of chastity or courtship.

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Jun 04, 2009

Sarah Bucher Stänz added it (review of isbn 1590521676)

if you liked the first one, you'll LOVE that one!
i'm so thankful that there exist people who write books like that and teach others about god's will in our life in every part...in our love lifes.

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