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When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships
by
David Richo
In this book, psychotherapist David Richo explores how we replay the past in our present-day relationships—and how we can free ourselves from this destructive pattern. We all have a tendency to transfer potent feelings, needs, expectations, and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships onto the people in our daily lives, whether they are our intimate partners, fr...more
Paperback, 224 pages
Published
July 22nd 2008
by Shambhala
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I absolutely loved this book. He took the complex issues of projection and transference and simplified them. I loved how he used myth and religious references that respected all paths that are available to people. He made it very palatable for people of all faiths and didn't over complicate the issue for people who aren't psychology majors! Loved it, and learned so much from it!
Excellent. I don't see any religious overtones to this one, despite other comments. But then I have been involved in therapy or something similar for many years. There is much wisdom in parts of Eastern thought, as well as traditional Western thinking, if you have an open mind.
It is a rather profound book to read if you suffered from bullying and abuse during your childhood, which does happen in the best of homes. It helped me to see how past actions affect what's going on in the present on man...more
It is a rather profound book to read if you suffered from bullying and abuse during your childhood, which does happen in the best of homes. It helped me to see how past actions affect what's going on in the present on man...more
It covers how past experiences reflect in our current relationships. Why we want to experience our past unconsciously. It is interesting book; sometime may get too dry.
Couldn't stand reading this because of the author continuing to talk about buddhism. I'm sorry, I am a Christian.
Ok, so I am a little conflicted over this book - has a lot of good in it, Buddhist inspired ideas about dealing with pain, boundaries, acceptance of the givens in life, and good strategies for processing the past so that it does not impact negatively on present relationships, and on what are called the 5 A's of Adult relationships. I am conflicted because of some craziness right at the end about necessity of religion, and a little too much of the collective consciousness that Jung got sucked int...more
A bit repetitive but there are some good points.
Transference.
I appreciated the Buddhist take on relationships/psychology and thought there was some good background and examples of how/why transference occurs and how being more aware of these factors can turn it from an impediment to a useful tool. Being more self-aware and mindful of our own and others transference interactions will be helpful in navigating communications/interactions and moving beyond real or perceived road blocks.
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Spectacular. David Richo tops my list of authors to read when you want to learn how relationships function..and how and why they go off course.
Indulging my recent compulsion for self-help books is usually a guilty pleasure, but this one quotes Goethe and Sartre, and incorporates lots of Buddhism, but not in a gross new-agey way. I love it.
Transference, Projection and Displacement.
oh my!
Richo tells it how it is ... for the emotionally complex adult. apt for family, workplace and friends.
oh my!
Richo tells it how it is ... for the emotionally complex adult. apt for family, workplace and friends.
Thought provoking and very interesting. Reinforced much of what I am exploring through mindfulness. Got repetitive and dry at times though
I tend to get overly attached to people and project a lot; this book helped to clear up a lot of my thoughts patterns and behaviors.
A bit technical for anyone that is not familiar with psychoanalytic terminology. But I loved it.
Will get to this book when I feel the need of discovering myself again :)
Very intense book....very good, but very intense.
Relationship is messy.
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David Richo, PhD, is a therapist and author who leads popular workshops on personal and spiritual growth.
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and chi...more
More about David Richo...
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and chi...more
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“In a true you-and-I relationship, we are present mindfully, nonintrusively, the way we are present with things in nature.We do not tell a birch tree it should be more like an elm. We face it with no agenda, only an appreciation that becomes participation: 'I love looking at this birch' becomes 'I am this birch' and then 'I and this birch are opening to a mystery that transcends and holds us both.”
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26 people liked it
“Transference is essentially a compulsion to return to our past in order to clear up emotionally backlogged business.”
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6 people liked it
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Apr 11, 2011 04:13pm