I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
Each year, millions of men and women fall prey to depression. While the disorder has been called "psychiatry's most treatable condition," less than one in five get help. In recent years, the silence surrounding depression in women has begun to lift, but only now, with this powerful groundbreaking work, does psychotherapist Terrence Real expose a virtual epidemic of the di...more
As a mother of boys, I also appreciated the sections on society's expectations of masculinity and femininity and how reinforcing those stereotypes can do damage, teaching boys that they can't express their emotions.
The descriptions are therapy ses ...more
(2) For the better part of my life, I've felt out of step with social expectations and not understood why. After reading this book, I get it. I finally get it. I feel as though I've been wandering in the wilderness for a long, long time, when I suddenly find myself standing before an information-rich, emotionally wrenching though inspiring and hopeful "You Are Here" sign. It's almost laughably easy to trace where I've come from, and it's heartenin ...more
"Traditional gender socialization in our culture asks boys and girls to 'halve themselves.' Girls are allowed to maintain emotional expressiveness and cultivate connection. But they are systematically discouraged from fully developing and exercising their public, assertive selves--their 'voice' as it is often called. Boys, by contrast, are greatl ...more
"My work with depressed men has led me to turn the conventional thinking about sons and their fathers on its head. If we give credence to the research detaili...more
Way back in July or something I listened to the audio edition of “I Don’t Want to Talk About It: The Hidden Legacy of Male Depression" - a book by psychotherapist Terrence Real, recommended to my by my friends Jorge and Dave.
He asserts, as I’ve long believed, that a majority of men in the US have depression. But unlike t ...more
Please, consider reading this for yourself, your family and your children.
I tried to give this to my husband but he is of course in denial.
I can see the damage he and I are doing to our son and I want to try and fix it but he sees nothing wrong and ignores it.
So if your a person who want to raise their children with feelings I so recommend this book.
Spoilers and Warning: The author does talk about boys being abused sexually and details it. Not graphic but if you're sensitive you should skip t ...more
I have hugely benefited from reading this book. It is a must read for men who are suffering from any kind of depression. And, also for women who want to understand sexism faced by men when it comes to mental diseases.
In India, according to a 2012 report, married men committing suicide is double the number of married men. In a study popularly known as roommate study, it was found that ...more
Real's basic thesis is that the behavioral issues we see more typically in men--- such as violence and addiction--- are actually examples of "covert depression." Essentially, they are defenses constructed by the man to avoid feelings of emotional pain and vulnerability. Such feelin ...more
a) feel depressed, know they are depressed, and who want to understand that depressed state more fully;
b) are coping with anxiety and likewise, want to understand their feelings better; and/or
c) don't know what is wrong, but are behaving and feeling in way that is causing problems for themselves and the people around them.
This book presents a theory that men tend to experience and manifest depression differently than women, externalizing their distress - ...more
Men can't shut themselves out, build a wall around themselves and not communicate if they want to control their depression.
For those who are very empathetic, you will find this a VERY long read. Not because the book is inaccessible, or because it is particularly lon ...more
His message is that men do not have to resign themselves to living a painful existence, increasingly disconnected and isolated from friends and family. Terry Rea ...more