3rd out of 24 books
—
24 voters
I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"
by
Brené Brown (Goodreads Author)
The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can?t seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like, ?Never good enough!? and ?What will people think??
Why? What fuels this unattainable ne...more
Why? What fuels this unattainable ne...more
Paperback, 336 pages
Published
December 27th 2007
by Gotham
(first published February 1st 2007)
Friend Reviews
To see what your friends thought of this book,
please sign up.
Community Reviews
(showing
1-30
of
3,000)
Dr. Brene Brown and her work on shame and, as an outgrowth of that research, wholehearted living have taken off, shooting into the limelight due to some TED talks, a PBS special, some thought-provoking books and a recent guest appearance on Katie Couric's new show to promote her newest book. So, after reading and enjoying The Gifts of Imperfection, I went back and read this volume.
Instead of a synopsis or thinly veiled attempt at sounding studious, I thought I'd extract a few quotes that, while...more
Instead of a synopsis or thinly veiled attempt at sounding studious, I thought I'd extract a few quotes that, while...more
I am absolutely in love with Brene Brown's brain. This book does an excellent job of defining shame (and as different from guilt, embarrassment, humiliation, and low-self-esteem). She sources where and how shame occurs and how to escape the immobilizing impact it can have on spirit and heart. It is story-filled rather than explicitly informative which makes her work accessible to most anyone.
If you are a courageous person who appreciates the value of self-awareness and personal growth for indivi...more
If you are a courageous person who appreciates the value of self-awareness and personal growth for indivi...more
Aug 27, 2012
Matthew
marked it as to-read
After hearing her Tedx talk, I wanted to explore her work further. I think of my upbringing in an extremely strict religious cult, and realize I've witnessed and experienced the damage of a shame-based culture firsthand. Although the book was originally geared towards women, so far it seems universal enough that it's worth a read by men as well.
I wanted to love this book because I love Brene Brown. Her podcast interviews with Tammie Simon and Krista Tippett as well as her TED talks have inspired me, changed me and touched me deeply. I find her to be an incredibly inspiring and courageous woman and I believe her research on Shame and vulnerability and full hearted living are changing and healing the world.
That said, I was disappointed by this book. I am wondering whether she is a better teacher and storyteller and presenter than writer...more
That said, I was disappointed by this book. I am wondering whether she is a better teacher and storyteller and presenter than writer...more
This is the second Brene Brown book that I have read this year. I liked it better than the first as it was more focused on her key area of research - shame, specifically shame in women. Women experience shame when they are entangled in a web of layered, conflicting, and competing social-community expectations. She lists twelve areas where women commonly experience shame: appearance and body image, motherhood, family, parenting, money and work, mental and physical health, sex, aging, religion, be...more
Brené Brown does an excellent job of unpacking the concept of shame, walking through examples of how it happens in our lives, and explaining the habits we can develop to work through it. The accounts she gives of women experiencing shame are all too real. Her writing is especially interesting when she breaks down common misconceptions and describes how shame is a complicated cultural phenomenon. For example, one might think that a woman who has a high level of shame resilience is just a person w...more
I wish I had read this book a long time ago. The information, ideas and conclusions in this book require more than just a single read through once. While I finished read the book today for the first time, this is a book which needs to be studied so that the concepts can be put into practice and shame resilience can become a honed skill in our lives. Though this book was written primarily with women in focus, both genders grow up in a culture of shame. I am glad that Brene included a brief assess...more
This book is powerful and eye-opening. As I was reading, it was a constant stream of "yup. I do that. Tell me about it. I know!" in my head. I think there are few books that cover women's experiences with such knowledge and realism. This book doesn't promise to change your life or to prevent you from ever experiencing shame again, instead it shows you how shame affects you, where shame comes from, and how to deal with it. I think most women need to read this book (except, perhaps, those rock-sta...more
This book, for me, was like how it is in college when you take your first class in psych and suddenly you see psychosis everywhere. I see shame and shaming everywhere now - in how people comment on the internet, talk about politics, treat kids, work together, tell stories about themselves... It really does pervade everything.
This book didn't make me feel less alone. It did make me realize, though, that to have true empathy with someone you need to realize you aren't there to fix or better them....more
This book didn't make me feel less alone. It did make me realize, though, that to have true empathy with someone you need to realize you aren't there to fix or better them....more
Well, this is the first book of its type I have read. I was sent it by a friend who felt I might find it helpful. And yes, it is helpful to know that so many other women have feelings and have had experiences that are so painfully familiar. Shame is a very lonely feeling. It is the "intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed".
However, I do have a big issue with the fact that she only addresses shame in women - and it is definitely not exclusive to the female sex. Addition...more
However, I do have a big issue with the fact that she only addresses shame in women - and it is definitely not exclusive to the female sex. Addition...more
Really really interesting book that teaches "shame resilience." Brown explains exactly what shame is; differentiates it from guilt, embarrassment, and humiliation; shares stories that illustrate 12 or so areas of potential shame (eg, appearance and body image, motherhood, sex, religion, career, family history, addictions); and goes through 4 elements of being resilient to shame. Her main point is that shame separates people by preventing them from being authentic with one another.
I don't think...more
I don't think...more
Jun 30, 2011
Shannon
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
nonfiction,
my_favorites
A blogger friend mentioned Brene Brown after I wrote a blog post about vulnerability. My friend said in her comment that I was courageous, yet I'd written the post about how scary it was to be vulnerable. I was puzzled as to how that made me courageous. Then I read I Thought It Was Just Me and I understood better. Brown explains courage as the strength to speak your heart - and this type of courage is one of the key ways to develop and maintain shame resilience.
As I read this book, I felt a bit...more
As I read this book, I felt a bit...more
Great book about "shame resilience", the most debilitating of all emotions and one that we rarely talk about because it feels shameful. It was a hard book to read at times because shame is just hard all around. Brene Brown's point though is that shame grows through our silence. Shame is an emotion that everyone feels (unless you are sociopathic) and shame resilience occurs when we use our "connection network" to "speak shame." Blaming and shaming go together to separate us from one another. Sham...more
Jun 06, 2012
Patty
rated it
3 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
2012,
non-fiction,
psychology,
women,
women-writers,
2009,
feminism,
relationships,
compassion,
self-help,
self-image,
self-improvment,
shame
One of the most amazing things on the Internet (in my opinion) is the existence of TED talks. I have been sent to this site of Ideas Worth Spreading by friends, by other librarians, and bloggers. There are a lot of useless things on the 'Net, but these videos are not useless. They are inspiring, educational and sometimes just plain fun.
So I encountered Brene Brown on her TED talk thanks to Dave Lose (http://www.davidlose.net). After listening to her, I had to read this book and I was not disappo...more
So I encountered Brene Brown on her TED talk thanks to Dave Lose (http://www.davidlose.net). After listening to her, I had to read this book and I was not disappo...more
An eye-opening book on a subject that is little discussed - shame. Dr Brene Brown, a shame researcher, shares in this book how in a quest for perfection and also to conform to society, shame is often used to try to change a person's behavior. She teaches how to build our shame resilience through recognizing and understanding our shame triggers, practicing critical awareness (understanding the link between our personal experiences and the larger social systems), reaching out to others (learning t...more
I learned a lot about myself reading this book. It was hard and powerful, and I think all my other high-achieving perfectionist female friends would benefit from the self-study also. I think that I will have to re-read parts of it to help me in the future. It is not a quick and easy self help book, but the kind that sparks a journey and a lot of work.
When I finished, I moved on to Brown's other book, "The Gifts of Imperfection," and got a lot out of that one also. This book was a zoomed in view...more
When I finished, I moved on to Brown's other book, "The Gifts of Imperfection," and got a lot out of that one also. This book was a zoomed in view...more
This review may sound strange, but it's only because the author's book and her blog/podcast have taken me into, through and out into a new place. (shift to personal experience for a moment): I've done a lot of study about shame in world culture. I've written about it, spoken to women in several countries, started a blog (but dropped it quickly, wasn't ready to do something like that yet), blah blah blah. Then I dropped it all when things got stressful and life threw some curve balls at me. Don't...more
A very good book. Like all of the women in this book, I too have experienced shame and the complex mix of emotions it brings with it. I never really had a way to explain what I was feeling at the time, never really knew why certain things made me angry and want to lash out. This book finally gave me a word to describe all that, in addition to listing out steps we can take to develop shame resilience.
The book describes shame as the "intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are fla...more
The book describes shame as the "intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are fla...more
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_...
watch it!
I'm weary of the scholar names attached to every single idea she brings up. Not sure that's the best strategy for a non-scholarly, popular book. Interesting definitions. Helpful ideas.
Interested in buying.
watch it!
I'm weary of the scholar names attached to every single idea she brings up. Not sure that's the best strategy for a non-scholarly, popular book. Interesting definitions. Helpful ideas.
Interested in buying.
I guess I'm in the minority here when I say I found this book to be rather the opposite of helpful. I found the tone to be one of assumption from the author, even though I know she had back up research. I don't personally think or feel the things the women in the book seem to and I found it almost degrading to be labeled as having serious shame issues simply because I am a woman. I similarly found it nearly degrading to have my identity broken down into such small bits. The author seems to speak...more
Fantastic read by a social worker/researcher who has dedicated her life to the study of shame - why we feel it, what casues it, how we can rise above it. Amazingly readable (most psycho-babble books are usually too dry for me) and hugely helpful (I literally found myself relating to one or more of the stories in every single chapter - who hasn't had that conversation with a friend or their mom where something was said about your weight or how you parent or whatever that leaves you red in the fac...more
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.”
“The culture of shame is driven by fear, blame and disconnection, and it is often a powerful incubator for issues like perfectionism, stereotyping, gossiping and addiction.”
Brene Brown has studied and speaks directly to women but this describes what happens to gay people and traits commonly found in the gay community exactly.
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling...more
“The culture of shame is driven by fear, blame and disconnection, and it is often a powerful incubator for issues like perfectionism, stereotyping, gossiping and addiction.”
Brene Brown has studied and speaks directly to women but this describes what happens to gay people and traits commonly found in the gay community exactly.
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling...more
I liked what she articulated in the beginning about "power-over" vs "real power".
Power-over: "I will define who you are and then I'll make you believe that's your own definition."
Real power: "...basically the ability to change something if you want to change it."
I also appreciated her bit on invisibility. The project of collage-ing "ones ideals" vs. "realistic representation of one" (fashion, clothes, shoes, arms, legs, hair, etc).
"When we don't see ourselves reflected back in our culture, we f...more
Power-over: "I will define who you are and then I'll make you believe that's your own definition."
Real power: "...basically the ability to change something if you want to change it."
I also appreciated her bit on invisibility. The project of collage-ing "ones ideals" vs. "realistic representation of one" (fashion, clothes, shoes, arms, legs, hair, etc).
"When we don't see ourselves reflected back in our culture, we f...more
I think that every single woman should read this book. I have already recommended it to many friends and family members. It is life altering. I highlighted a ton in this book!
"...I often refer to shame as the fear of disconnection-the fear of being perceived as flawed and unworthy of acceptance or belonging...the opposite of experiencing shame is experiencing empathy."
"We can never become completely resistant to shame; however, we can develop the resilience we need to recognize shame, move throu...more
"...I often refer to shame as the fear of disconnection-the fear of being perceived as flawed and unworthy of acceptance or belonging...the opposite of experiencing shame is experiencing empathy."
"We can never become completely resistant to shame; however, we can develop the resilience we need to recognize shame, move throu...more
FABULOUS!!
I borrowed this book from BSU library; it was really hard to get my hands on it. It came recommended by a few friends who were also doing some research on shame. I loved this book so much that I had to purchase it. I continue to be amazed at the deep impact that shame has on individuals. Most interesting is its' strong ties to all types of addiction. We all have shame to some degree, and should learn how to not let it damage our relationships and lives. This is the perfect book to help...more
I borrowed this book from BSU library; it was really hard to get my hands on it. It came recommended by a few friends who were also doing some research on shame. I loved this book so much that I had to purchase it. I continue to be amazed at the deep impact that shame has on individuals. Most interesting is its' strong ties to all types of addiction. We all have shame to some degree, and should learn how to not let it damage our relationships and lives. This is the perfect book to help...more
In her talk at TED2012, Dr. Brown describes her reaction to her first TED Talk (at TEDxHouston) andthe video going viral with over 4 million views. At one point in her story, a friend teasingly accuses her of being "the worst vulnerability role model ever". But in truth, the fact that Dr. Brown is willing to share her own stories makes her one of the better role models.
I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) is full of stories not only from Dr. Brown's research subjects, but also from her own li...more
I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) is full of stories not only from Dr. Brown's research subjects, but also from her own li...more
Apr 28, 2012
Chavonne
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Every Woman I Know
Recommended to Chavonne by:
Amy, Allison
I want to give this a 4.95, but as I cannot I'll have to round up. This book has already changed me. I have been trying this year to acknowledge and move away from the shame that motivates a lot of my behavior. While reading this book, I had two very applications of the idea of "sharing your story". Firstly, I admitted my anxiety and another person reflected how her not being the only feeling this way about our work helped her feel less shame. Secondly, I admitted how someone's comment at work c...more
I first heard about Brene Brown during a yoga workshop. The instructor mentioned Brene's TEDTalk from December 2010 as one of the most powerful pieces on vulnerability, connection and shame. It wasn't long after seeing the video that I went out and got this book.
I started it back in November 2011 and it's taken me until just now to finish it. As a life long perfectionist, it took me a while to get through it because so much of it resonated. Every paragraph had a phrase that had me nodding, or r...more
I started it back in November 2011 and it's taken me until just now to finish it. As a life long perfectionist, it took me a while to get through it because so much of it resonated. Every paragraph had a phrase that had me nodding, or r...more
Brené Brown compiles well over a decade of work on shame into this book to excellent effect. Her work in shame and how shame affects women, their self view, their relationships with others, and their ability to be authentic all rang very true to me.
I believe I will re-read this book many times, and have dog-eared many pages that were particularly familiar and powerful. The book addresses the ways that shame (as opposed to guilt) reflects on the self and self-worth in a way that prevents personal...more
I believe I will re-read this book many times, and have dog-eared many pages that were particularly familiar and powerful. The book addresses the ways that shame (as opposed to guilt) reflects on the self and self-worth in a way that prevents personal...more
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Which Brene Brown book to read first? | 2 | 9 | May 10, 2012 08:07pm |
Dr. Brené Brown is a writer, researcher, and educator. She is a member of the research faculty at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work where she has spent the past ten years studying connection - specifically authenticity, belonging, and shame, and the affect these powerful emotions have on the way we live, love, parent, work and build relationships.
Dr. Brown teaches graduate...more
More about Brené Brown...
Dr. Brown teaches graduate...more
Share This Book
No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now »
“If you want to make a difference, the next time you see someone being cruel to another human being, take it personally. Take it personally because it is personal!” (p 272)”
—
32 people liked it
“Compassion is not a virtue -- it is a commitment. It's not something we have or don't have -- it's something we choose to practice.”
—
11 people liked it
More quotes…

Loading...





view all 4 comments



















