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Enough about You, Let's Talk about Me: How to Recognize and Manage the Narcissists in Your Life
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Enough about You, Let's Talk about Me: How to Recognize and Manage the Narcissists in Your Life

3.98  ·  Rating Details ·  114 Ratings  ·  19 Reviews
Those who are in the unenviable position of living or working with a narcissist have learned by sad trial and error that they are the only one in the relationship who can change the dynamic. Certainly narcissists don't think they need to change. Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me is a hands-on resource for helping colleagues, families, and spouses deal with people who e ...more
Hardcover, 191 pages
Published September 1st 2005 by Jossey-Bass (first published 2005)
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Janet
Jan 05, 2015 Janet rated it really liked it
Shelves: family
The best of the how to deal with a narcissist books that I've read. Great advice on how to deal with my sister, first of which is respond with your head not your emotions. And remove fear from the equation:

1. Do Not Be Threatened by the Narcissist's Wrong Perceptions.
2. Stop Justifying Your Choices
3. Go Beyond Talk and Take Action Toward Change.
4. Forget About Generating Good Will.

In addition, put aside pride and commit to humility:

1. Be Respectful, Even When Respect Is Not Reciprocated.
2. Refra
...more
Kathy
Mar 29, 2012 Kathy rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
Very informative book. It was very helpful to read a book that was about what the VICTIM of a narcissist can do to help with their own recovery, and self-protection, instead of why the narcissist is disordered. In my own case, the narcissist that inflicted so much damage in my life was already permanently disordered well before I'd ever met him. I had previously read several books about NPD, the traits of the disorder, and why it happens (which were also very helpful to me in their own ways). Ho ...more
Hemani
May 29, 2014 Hemani rated it really liked it
Useful techniques for coping and descriptive case studies:

This book is an excellent source of information about the self absorbed. The author provides a detailed landscape of the various incarnations of a narcissistic personality type and offers some insightful, seemingly practical and pragmatic approaches to coping with such complex people. I like that the book defines the difference between selfish behavior and self preservation. The author also takes time discuss what is and is not forgivenes
...more
Laurel
Dec 31, 2009 Laurel rated it liked it
At first this book really depressed me....well, actually the entire time I read this book I felt a little discouraged because I realized the answer to my situation was to either leave or to alter my own approach. It's on me, not on the narcissist...because as I learned and agree, you can't change a narcissist. That revelation alone made the book worth reading. Now to work on humility and forgiveness.
Kari
May 05, 2008 Kari rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction
I learned so much about Narcissism and how to deal with people in your life. It was the "aha" book for me. I would highly recommend this book if you are dealing with difficult people and can't quite figure out why you can't find resolutions.
Linda
Aug 14, 2010 Linda rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The book gave me some insights in how to handle the narcissist in my family.
Christina Bouwens
Jan 25, 2013 Christina Bouwens rated it really liked it
This is quite a powerful, insightful book to help you identify the patterns of thought and behavior in narcissists (note- not all narcissists behave badly in all of the same ways eg. there are aggressive narcissists as well as passive-aggressive narcissists). More than this, though, it helps you learn not only coping mechanisms but positive, healthy attitudes to take on in understanding these people and learning better habits of mind and behaviors when in interaction with narcissistic people, wh ...more
Heather
Jun 30, 2016 Heather rated it it was amazing
Such a great book, not always an easy read as it prompted much inner probing and analyzing how current habits and behavior patterns can be changed to take more responsibility in flawed relationships. The main points which Les Carter seemed to drive home again and again are to stop expecting the narcissist to change and don't let your response to their behavior and attitudes be a reflection of them, but instead of your own character. Be true to yourself regardless of how they respond!

The book is
...more
Alexandra
Aug 01, 2013 Alexandra rated it liked it
An accessible and useful book ( that can be used as , I won't use the word guidebook, but it can provide gumpion for individuals that have to interact , with narcissists on a daily basis.

It's practical and useful without being moralising and pedantic.

However, there were times when I felt the extent and potential for narcissistic abuse in relationships(domestic and workplace) was undermined.

In other words the book would have been better had it provided more examples on narcissistic emotional ab
...more
Hatlogo
Mar 04, 2014 Hatlogo rated it liked it
Very informative book. But basically, what I had read on this book were "do whatever you want and don't give a fuck about them".
Valarie
Jun 19, 2008 Valarie rated it liked it
Recommends it for: those being kicked in the butt by the self-important
When I read this book, in 2006, I was being kicked in the behind by a lot of people who were merely the center of their own universes and actively disregarded everyone else. I wasn't raised that way and I couldn't understand why these people thought they were so freakin' special and entitled that the world was required to revolve around them.

Well, this book was quite the eye-opener. It also managed to offer a lot of perspective. I highly recommend it, whether or not there are narcissists drivin
...more
Jeni
Jul 13, 2014 Jeni rated it really liked it
Excellent read ... certainly helped me understand why my world is filled with narcissists and how to deal with them ... especially since they are mostly family!! Recommend it highly to anyone dealing with narcissists!!
Holly
May 01, 2016 Holly rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: my-favorites
Insightful perspective into the narcissistic personality.
Chad
Sep 02, 2012 Chad rated it it was amazing
This book is very helpful, if you are dealing with this type of personality in your life.
Gina
Apr 19, 2014 Gina added it
Good book and it is very intuitive on dealing with Narcissists. Worth the read...
Jeremy Neal
Nov 08, 2010 Jeremy Neal rated it it was amazing
A lifesaver, with (at last) a workable approach to handling these toxic people.
Marcia Carr
Apr 22, 2013 Marcia Carr rated it it was amazing
This is a GREAT book. Very insightful and thought provoking.
Ginny
Oct 22, 2009 Ginny rated it liked it
informative
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“Empathy requires us to step outside of our own agendas long enough to develop an understanding of the other person's perspective. It can be rightly stated that no relationship will be whole without ongoing displays of empathy.” 0 likes
“Humble people are dignified, not because they believe their behavior can be an effective tool to control others, but because they have made dignity a part of their character.” 0 likes
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