Goodreads | Eten, bidden, beminnen : de zoektocht van een vrouw in Italië, India en Indonesië

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mouthwatering, enlightening, disappointing	13	297	22 days ago, 04:55PM

Michalyn rated it:

(review of isbn 0143038419)

01/26/08

bookshelves: 2008, non-fiction

Read in January, 2008

Wow, this book took me on a roller-coaster ride. I couldn't decide if I loved it or hated it and it seemed like every few pages I'd go from thinking Gilbert was delightfully witty to thinking this was the most horribly self-absorbed person to ever set foot on the earth.

In the end the overall effect was rather like sitting at a party listening to someone tell a long involved story all about themselves, and you're alternately annoyed and fascinated and you want to get up and leave but she's j...more

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Cat rated it:

(review of isbn 0143038419)

05/03/08

Read in August, 2007

I am embarrassed to read this book in public.
The title and the flowery, pasta-y cover screams, "I'm a book that contains the relentless rants of a neurotic 34 year-old-woman."
So, I'm afraid that the strangers on the Metro will think I identify with her.
But in the comfort of my own bed, I am totally falling for this memoir. Yes, Gilbert is emotionally self-indulgent (are we supposed to feel bad that she lost both houses in the divorce?), annoying (she's just tickled when she gain...more I am embarrassed to read this book in public.
The title and the flowery, pasta-y cover screams, "I'm a book that contains the relentless rants of a neurotic 34 year-old-woman."
So, I'm afraid that the strangers on the Metro will think I identify with her.
But in the comfort of my own bed, I am totally falling for this memoir. Yes, Gilbert is emotionally self-indulgent (are we supposed to feel bad that she lost both houses in the divorce?), annoying (she's just tickled when she gains 23 pounds after eating her way through Italy) and often really immature (oh! The endless, endless crying).
Then again, this is a memoir and when the writing is just so clever, so hospitable, so damn funny, it's really hard to hold that against Gilbert in the end.
The plot goes something like this: A 30-year-old writer has everything she wants, including several successful books, a husband and two houses. When she realizes she doesn't want to have kids and that she's not happy after all, she has a breakdown and leaves her husband. In the process, she realizes she has no identity.
Boo-hoo.
But instead, Gilbert decides to pack up and visit Italy, India and Indonesia, three places she hopes will ultimately bring her the inner balance she's been longing for. (And on the surface, this book is a really entertaining travel essay. Gilbert has this wonderfully quirky way of describing everything: A piece of pizza, a gelato. And the people.)
It's on her travels that I start to identify with Gilbert. When I was 21, I spent four months traveling in Australia. Just like Gilbert during her first weeks in Italy, I was totally elated by my freedom.
But about two weeks in, the loneliness came around and so did the anxiety.
My typical day started with this inner monologue: "I have to get to the museum before noon, so I can fit in the sea kayaking trip at 2. And then I have to rush to the grocery store to get food to make dinner in the stinking hostel kitchen because god forbid I go out to eat causeIHAVETOMAKETHEMONEYLASTFORTHREEMOREMONTHS!!!!"
Yikes. How I envied the Eurotrash who could just sit by the hostel pool and read all day. But if I didn't do everything, then I would have failed at traveling.
In retrospect, Australia was a turning-point in my young life. I had no idea that this "go-go-go" attitude was how I had been living for years. No wonder people thought I was uptight. Relaxing had never come easy to me, and it never will, but I'm getting a lot better at letting go and not worrying about seeing every last museum... so-to-speak.
Gilbert ruminates on this topic quite a bit in her book. Her first moment of true, unfettered happiness comes when she poaches some eggs and eats some asparagus on the floor of her apartment. So simple, but so fulfilling.
In India, she writes that "life, if you keep chasing it so hard, will drive you to death." Gilbert is living in an Ashram, a place where people come to meditate and experience divinity. She's not very good at it, and she wonders if all the energy she's spent chasing the next experience has kept her from enjoying anything. At this point in the book, I find myself wondering if Gilbert wants to be there at all. Perhaps going to an Ashram was the thing she thought she should do, not what she wanted to do. I sure as hell wouldn't.
What I really love about "Eat, Pray, Love" is that it's all about asking the simple question, "what do I want," a question that would have come in handy in Australia and numerous other times in my life. It's so hard for some people, including me, and it really shouldn't be. I think that when you can honestly answer that question ("No. I don't want to go to that discussion on post-modernism, even though I realize that I should be interested in it and it would make me a lot cooler in your eyes. Really, I just want to watch back-to-back episodes of "Scrubs") you're well on your way to realizing your own identity and being ok with whoever that person is.

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MelissaS added it (review of isbn 0143038419)

02/08/08

Read in January, 2007

WHY? I cringe to think why so many women want to feel that this was a true spiritual journey. It was a pre-paid journey. The woman starts off with telling us over and over about how painful her divorce was, however she dismisses how it ever came to be that way. Leaving her audience only to guess it was so horrible she had to leave and find herself.
When asked in an interview if dumping her husband and pushing off wasn’t selfish, here is what Ms. Gilbert had to say:
"What is it about th...more WHY? I cringe to think why so many women want to feel that this was a true spiritual journey. It was a pre-paid journey. The woman starts off with telling us over and over about how painful her divorce was, however she dismisses how it ever came to be that way. Leaving her audience only to guess it was so horrible she had to leave and find herself.
When asked in an interview if dumping her husband and pushing off wasn’t selfish, here is what Ms. Gilbert had to say:
"What is it about the American obsession with productivity and responsibility that makes it so difficult for us to allow ourselves a little time to solve the puzzle of our own lives, before it's too late?"
This statement alone tells so much. A responsibility towards a marriage and spouse is considered an unwanted "obsession" and one's own pursuit of happiness supercedes everything else? If a man decided to dump his wife and family to flee to the Himalayas to meditate we wouldn’t be calling it a spiritual journey...we would call it irresponsibility.
India: This when she got just a little too proud of herself. I grew so tired of her boasting about how all her decisions led to a higher plan of consciousness and a new appreciation for life and a new understanding of the universe at large.
And Bali was even worse. I was hoping the little old guy didn't remember her. Didn't that whole episode just turn out a little too cutely? And then she fell off her bike! She met her doctor friend, and bought her a house. And met an old guy, and then she did things to herself! And then she slept with the old guy. And of course she's better at that than any of us because she is now enlightened. And then she made a little rhyming couplet of a life in Australia, America, Bali, and Brazil. Double cringe.
Italy: The author's angst and shallow self-discovery and pretend real people met with the express purpose of reflecting what she would like to 'learn' (lessons that most of us will have learned far earlier in life before more interesting lessons presented themselves.)
To quote a phrase from the "Italy" section of this book, "cross the street" if you dare to even glance in a bookstore window and entertain a thought of buying this book. Elizabeth Gilbert has no ideas about life. Not only does she have nothing to teach, she has nothing to say. This book is so vicarious that it reveals a profound and deeply disturbing ignorance about the complexities of real life.
The author's observations about life are simplistic and her insights so embarrassingly undeveloped and unsophisticated that she comes across as a detached observer. There are very few passages in this book that reveal any real sense of transformation in her life. She never really seems to glean anything authentic or deeply affecting from any of her experiences. And because she has gained nothing, she has nothing to offer. The reader is frustrated and unable to connect with her on any level. This memoir not only lacks readability, it lacks any real humanity.
She is right when she says that she is not a traveler; she does not have the heart or spirit of a true traveler because she somehow remains deeply unaffected. She is merely a tourist, a spectator, barely scratching the surface of the lands she traverses, the people she encounters, and the experiences of what it means to be human. She fails to see the poverty that surrounds her, or maybe she sees it? She definitely never writes about it, maybe because it is not part of the road to any enlightenment.
In spite of her year long journey she is still unable to gain true insight or wisdom from her pain and struggles. There is no profoundness in her journey, whether it is personal or physical. This book is just a simple walk through a simple mind. She is not even a good enough writer to be able to cleverly disguise her childlike observations in beautifully crafted language. I would rather read the trail journals of a young backpacker any day. At least they are 'real.'
After reading the book, I wondered how it found its way to the bestseller list. I was perplexed by its popularity. So I did some research. As it turns out "Eat, Pray, Love" is an ideal industry example of how a publishing company can "create" a best seller from the printing of a trade paperback. In hard cover, this book only generated mediocre book sales in the year in was published. However, someone at Penguin adopted it as a "darling" and created a hard core campaign to sell the trade paperback.
Well when they said “here’s $200, 000. dollars Elizabeth, now go travel and don’t forget to eat, pray, and love – when you come back I will get you the best editor and we will both feel enlightened.” So shallow, I cringe. I cringe even more for the women that buy into such shallowness.
If you really want to live with intention, live your journey here and now. YOUR here and now.

This book gets Zero stars.
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Holly rated it:

(review of isbn 0143038419)

05/28/08

Read in February, 2008

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

I have copied this from a blog I wrote a few weeks ago:

I've recently given in. I normally don't go for the Oprah-style self-help mumbo-jumbo. However, the hype surrounding "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert was just too frenzied to ignore. So I gave in and read the book. "Eat, Pray, Love" is about "one woman's search for everything across Italy, India" and blah, blah, blah, do we really care?

"Liz" starts out in the first chapter by making me sm...more I have copied this from a blog I wrote a few weeks ago:

I've recently given in. I normally don't go for the Oprah-style self-help mumbo-jumbo. However, the hype surrounding "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert was just too frenzied to ignore. So I gave in and read the book. "Eat, Pray, Love" is about "one woman's search for everything across Italy, India" and blah, blah, blah, do we really care?

"Liz" starts out in the first chapter by making me smirk. She is sitting across from a real Italian Stallion at a table in a cafe in Rome, and contemplating sleeping with him. Then it occurs to her that at that point in her life (her mid-30s I might add), that it may not be wise to try to get over another man by getting involved with a new one. Is it just me, or am I the only one who thinks that one should already know that? If this is supposed to be profound, she's really missing the mark.

Before this journey Liz embarks on, she has just divorced her husband who basically took her for everything she had. She had been living with a man named David with whom she'd been having an extramarital affair and this relationship wasn't working either but she was still pining away for him. Basically she's a serial monogamist with attachment disorder. So Liz decides to undertake a "spiritual journey" as well as a geographical one, all the while planning and being paid to write this book about it. She'd been able to take this journey of hers because of the advance she'd acquired in preparation for this book. Sound fishy already?

The book is divided up into sections, hence the title "Eat, Pray, Love". The "Eat" section is where newly divorced Liz moves from New York to Italy to further her study of the Italian language and to eat carbs with wild abandon. Sounds good, but she spends most of her four months there moping around and using food as a crutch to help her deal with her depression. She meets some nice people and eats a lot. Gluttony is not becoming. Move on to section two.

Section two is the "Pray" section. She moves to an ashram in India for four months so that she can meditate. This is the part where we're supposed to think that Liz is just "oh so spiritual" because she meditates. She whines on about how hard it is for her at first to meditate because of her emotional baggage and the only saving grace is a Texan named Richard who won't let her mope around. Richard is like her own personal gadfly, never letting her just coast along and settle for her misery. One thing that Richard said to her when she was whining about missing David was that soul mates are not supposed to be forever. That they're designed to essentially come into your life, show you parts of yourself that you never knew existed and then move on. I have felt that way as well, and it's something that I truly believe in so I could identify with that.

So Liz eventually settles down into meditating and then tries to explain to us how she has become enlightened in India. From a Buddhist perspective, if you notice your own enlightenment, that ain't it. Sorry, Liz. You're not a Buddha. The sensation she was trying to describe is familiar to me, and I've also read about a lot of other people who have described it that way, but to actually hint that you've attained enlightenment at the end of four months of ashram living is way off the mark. Perhaps I'm just being too cynical, but even so I just love the way that life comes along and kicks you in the ass as soon as you think you've got things figured out. It doesn't let you start to feel smug, which is the way this book felt to me. A journey across Italy, India and Bali where nothing really happens but you somehow feel the sense of entitlement enough to become smug.

Next we move on to Bali, where Liz had visited before. This is where she's supposed to find a balance between earthly pleasure and spirituality. Liz meets up with an old medicine man that she'd met on her previous trip who'd told her that she was going to come back and live with his family for four months. For some reason it had never occurred to her that me might have said that to nearly every Westerner he'd met. On arriving the medicine man has no recollection of her at first, but explains it away as if it's just because she looks like an entirely new woman. This is supposed to make us feel that yes, she has had a wonderful transformation due to her spiritual journey. See how that works?

I actually liked a lot of the section on Bali, because there were other interesting and more developed characters in the book and I didn't have to be all alone with Liz for extended periods of time while I was reading. This is of course where Liz meets "The Great Love of Her Life". Because a self-help book written by a woman and for women can't end until the female heroine has met "The Great Love of Her Life". Which of course she can only meet after learning to love herself.

I know that this book is supposed to be autobiographical and that she is actually still involved with this man. However, the book could have ended just as well without implying that to really figure your life out, your place in the universe and to be emotionally healthy, that you need to find a man in the end. This idea that "real love", this mature, romantic love can only be achieved after you've worked out your own personal demons and after you've learned to love yourself is just trite. It is insulting to the intellect of every female alive to have the outcome of every volume of "chick lit" end with a great romantic love story. Real life is not reflective of that ideal, and I wonder how much of this "autobiography" was embellished to adhere to that formula; how much of the story was omitted because it didn't fit with the way the book flowed and how the story needed to transpire in order for this book to become "The Next Big Thing".

All in all I enjoyed the book, but sometimes I became smug in Liz's stead and laughed and pointed at her while shrieking, "You don't realise that yet?!" in my most infuriated inner monologue voice. It's worth a read because some of the advice that other people have given her is worthwhile but just because she was the one that wrote it down and published it, it doesn't mean that it's coming from her. I can't even get into how her privileged life has allowed her to take an entire year off from working or living in the real world in order to turn her life around in the first place. Or how misleading it is to her devout followers, The Oprahites who take her word as gospel and memorise passages from this book as they all wait around for "The Great Love of Their Lives" to materialise now that they've been saved by proxy through Gilbert's experience. Eat, pray, gag.

Perhaps this book is above me because I'm young. Perhaps it's because I'm not divorced. Maybe I'm too cynical and Elizabeth Gilbert is a great mystic, after all. Excuses aside, I still think I'm going to wait around for life to kick Liz on the arse and remind her that she's not finished yet; that she really doesn't have things all figured out into nice little packages. The universe will right itself on its own, after all. It always does....less

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Jen rated it:

(review of isbn 0143038419)

02/22/08

Read in November, 2007

Wow. I just gave Eat, Pray, Love a tearful send-off. And now I will relate to you the reasons why.

The book has helped me come to terms with the fact that this whole healing process is taking so long, longer than any of my friends expected I think, and that it's not over. But even so, it's OK. I can still live my life and do new things and make new friends and still work through it. I'm not cheating anyone by giving them what I've got right now, as opposed to the miracle woman that I think I ...more

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Denise rated it:

(review of isbn 0143038419)

09/01/08

Read in August, 2008

Lines I loved from this book:

I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life – so why did I feel like none of it resembled me?

True wisdom gives the only possible answer at any given moment.

I honor the divinity that resides within me.

The health of our planet is affected by the health of every individual on it.

Traveling is the great true love of my life.

Travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel, as I have...more

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Chris rated it:

(review of isbn 0143038419)

02/20/08

Read in March, 2008

recommended to Chris by: this red haired girl who kicked me in the crotch, told me to pay
recommends it for: anyone on a path, anyone looking for eastern wisdom in a new yorker magazine

2-20-08

anyone on a path, anyone looking for eastern wisdom in a new yorker magazine, those who like to travel, those who like italy, bali or india, those in their 30s or up, rpcvs, lovers of brazil women and brainy pale girls, i like to read it while eating a belt buster at the local dairy queen...we had one in chiang mai, but i can't find one in dc, george!, those who like to travel, those who like italy, bali or india, those in their 30s or up, rpcvs, lovers of brazil women and brainy pale...more

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Tonya rated it:

(review of isbn 0143038419)

08/20/07

Read in August, 2007

Ok, I admit I still have about 30 pages to go, which I will get around to reading soon (need a break from the book though) and which I highly doubt will prompt me to change my 2-star rating. I know many people love this book for what I consider personal reasons, therefore I tread lightly so as to not come off as critical of people's personal opinions, rather, just the book itself.

First, I found the author not-so-likable. I've read other readers' reviews in which she was described as 'so ...more Ok, I admit I still have about 30 pages to go, which I will get around to reading soon (need a break from the book though) and which I highly doubt will prompt me to change my 2-star rating. I know many people love this book for what I consider personal reasons, therefore I tread lightly so as to not come off as critical of people's personal opinions, rather, just the book itself.

First, I found the author not-so-likable. I've read other readers' reviews in which she was described as 'so funny' and like 'a girl we'd all love to know' and have to tell you, I didn't feel the love. She came off to me as lofty, self-absorbed, and needy. I felt like she wanted to make herself a victim of her divorce and her depression. She was so vague about some aspects of the decline of her relationship with her ex-husband as well as with some details about the divorce, which led me to believe that she really did a number on him, but then she whined throughout the book about how HE was the one making the divorce so difficult. I don't mean to sound judgmental of how she coped with it, because I can't relate to that and it would be unfair of me, but I just couldn't help but feel that she kind of bashed the ex a little when she was seemingly the majority of the reason for their split. Plus, she acted like she is the only person in the world to suffer through a divorce, yet she was "totally in love" with another man less than a month after she realized she wanted out of her marriage (and her account isn't clear as to how long after her realization she actually got the divorce-ball rolling so I can't help but assume she was unfaithul.) So it was hard to have sympathy for her when she got hysterical over the ex disagreeing about settlement details. Um, I would think that <i>happens<i> when you blindside your spouse with a divorce request. Not saying it's right, just saying that's life.

Secondly, in her search of spirituality, I couldn't help but find some of it a little far-fetched. And could she have drawn out her stay at the Ashram in India any longer or with more mind-numbing, snooooze-inducing detail?? I found myself skipping entire paragraphs at a time, and not just because I was in a bit of a hurry to read the book before book club... but because she bored the hell out of me. My favorite part of India, ironically, was Richard From Texas. So I suppose that just sums up for us what I got out of the India section.

But I won't leave us all on a totally negative note. I enjoyed parts of the book, some of them thoroughly. I loved her friends, for instance, and am perplexed at how I find the author so unlikable but somehow she has such cool people in her life? And she was SOMETIMES funny with little sarcastic bits that caught me off guard and made me laugh aloud. When she wasn't being overly wordy, I loved reading her descriptions of Italy, India, and most especially Indonesia. And, of course, who didn't drool over her description of that pizza in Naples? YUM. I read that part twice :-)~ ...less

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Fiona added it (review of isbn 0143038419)

04/08/08

This is the review I put on my blog - it's basically a rant about how this bokk made me ashamed to be a woman.

Eat Play Love is the monologue of a neurotic american princess ("Liz") in her mid thirties. The first few chapters background the rest of the book, a confessional that tells how she came to find her 8 year marriage distasteful, realised she wasn't keen on the next 'logical' step which is apparently to fill her expansive apartment with children, and plunges into an impotent de...more

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Nancy rated it:

(review of isbn 0143038419)

08/10/08

Read in July, 2008

recommends it for: somebody who is in a muck-ish break-up

Sorting my thoughts out on this book was like having two sides of me arguing against each other. Here are some thoughts and my own rebuttals...it's not an essay, just fragments of ideas.

I think that Elizabeth is taking this broken marriage to hell and back with some high drama and fake eyelashes. Wailing in the bathroom at night? Wants to travel the world and not have kids? Hey, me too!

But then again, I haven't been through a broken marriage. I do, however, remember feeling quite low and...more

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Emanuel rated it:

(review of isbn 0747585660)

03/10/08

bookshelves: goodread, nonfiction

Read in March, 2008

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

I do enjoy reading this book, it’s a fun reading, a compelling story of one spiritual journey in 3 different places and with my own curiosity (regarding the first two places) the book has occupied me, taking me along with the journey, feels like I’m with the author on tandem bike, nicely flow. Again, this is the kind of book which I don’t need to squeeze my brain to bleed, instead beautiful pictures played in my mind, and I’m floating, enjoying the ride... I've never been to Italy or Ind...more I do enjoy reading this book, it’s a fun reading, a compelling story of one spiritual journey in 3 different places and with my own curiosity (regarding the first two places) the book has occupied me, taking me along with the journey, feels like I’m with the author on tandem bike, nicely flow. Again, this is the kind of book which I don’t need to squeeze my brain to bleed, instead beautiful pictures played in my mind, and I’m floating, enjoying the ride... I've never been to Italy or India, (one day i will, it's on my "a-must-to-visit" list beside Greece and Turkey) but I know very well about Bali... (definitely still in love with the island)

***Spoiler Alerts***

As the author's quote on the first page, which said by her best friend; "Tell the truth, tell the truth, and tell the truth..." I'm fully believe, the book is telling all the truths... start with;

Italy, it was fun! Despite the gelatos which obvious enough; a sinfully fun, the pizzas and pastas as well (only Italian the masters for these delicacies, but funny thing; in South East Asia, only Chinese the masters of curries), I like the author’s journey in this city, I always adoring the country, wishing to learn the language, learning more their interesting cultures, and of course all those eye candy sights, the feast for the eyes (including the beautiful people). At first, I thought Italy should be the city of romance (what’s the one word describing Italy? For me it’d be “romance”), the idea of walking in stony pedestrian street in Venice, riding Vespa around the city, or sitting in gondola along the river, passing under the bridge with someone you love, that’s breathtakingly romantic... but, seems the author has another objective, I believe gelatos with thousand flavors are the best talisman to get rid the 2 demons of her own; depression and loneliness, and yet, Italy for “eat”, a good choice to start the journey for someone like Ms. Gilbert.

India, a bit slow... it was dragging with all the well-being attempts... in yogic way for sure, but, it’s quite a mind opener... of course... thanks to Richard from Texas, without him, India’s for “pray” would be as boring as meditation for hours and no words to tell, or just simply running around under the night sky barefoot, stepping on the grass and hugging trees, which is beautiful to imagine but hardly to feel it for real. Many inspirational quotes and thoughts came from this Texan guy, which I believe quite helpful to Ms. Gilbert to fulfill whatever her quests in India, even though I don’t even know what actually his purpose in Ashram is. Perhaps, he’s the real Swamiji for Ms. Gilbert, her visible “guardian angel” if it’s ever exists, I wonder if she has this thought before.

Indonesia, Bali Island for “love”... I’d say this is my favorite part and the best, I’m not saying this because I’m from where the island is. Firstly, because the Bali part is well researched; make me believe that the whole book is telling the truth. The Bali part is very “as it is”, very “what you read is what you get”... of course, experiencing the island would be the best way to believe. (Am I sounding like a travel agent here? lol...) The Island itself is very mystical; in every corner you can smell and sense it for free, mystical and exotic at the same time. The Wayan Saga, is quite representing the face of Balinese, since the two times bombing happened in Bali, the tourism there has declining, and everyone in Bali are desperate and thirsty for work and earning money. They would do anything (whatever it takes) as long as it could make “their kitchen smoky” (it’s Indonesian phrase; does not mean to burn the kitchen down, but, literally as; “if there’s smoke out of the kitchen, means there are foods to eat”) and “white lies” happened many times. One little error from the book, which bother me, when Ketut Liyer (Balinese Medicine man) told Ms. Gilbert, the simple Balinese meditation is “to sit and smile”, simply smiling inside-out and the good energy would do good things to you, I assumed, what he mean was “smile from your heart” not “smile in your liver”, there’s a confusion or mixed-up in Indonesian language (or terminology) between the word “heart” as the form of love, with “heart” as human internal organ, the actual translation of “heart” in bahasa is “jantung” (heart in human organ context), but for the form of love, the common “heart-shape” on valentines day in bahasa we called it “hati” (liver). This is just a little mis usage of the word, but the essence still there, and “smile in your liver” sounds exotic and very spiritual for the western world (including Oprah...), that makes the “telling the truth” is very true...

I wish to read her next book if any... hopefully, her Brazilian life...
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Eten, bidden, beminnen : de zoektocht van een vrouw in Italië, India en Indonesië

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