Stolen Innocence: My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Triumphing over Warren Jeffs

by Elissa Wall, Lisa Pulitzer

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1,481 ratings, 3.72 average rating, 512 reviews (more data...)

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4		42%
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2		7%
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published

May 13th 2008 by William Morrow

binding

Hardcover, 438 pages

isbn

0061628018 (isbn13: 9780061628016)

description

In September 2007, a packed courtroom in St. George, Utah, sat hushed as Elissa Wall, the star witness against polygamous sect leader Warren Jeffs, g

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In September 2007, a packed courtroom in St. George, Utah, sat hushed as Elissa Wall, the star witness against polygamous sect leader Warren Jeffs, gave captivating testimony of how Jeffs forced her to marry her first cousin at age fourteen. This harrowing and vivid account proved to be the most compelling evidence against Jeffs, showing the harsh realities of this closed community and the lengths to which Jeffs went in order to control the sect's women.

Now, in this courageous memoir, Elissa Wall tells the incredible and inspirational story of how she emerged from the confines of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) and helped bring one of America's most notorious criminals to justice. Offering a child's perspective on life in the FLDS, Wall discusses her tumultuous youth, explaining how her family's turbulent past intersected with her strong will and identified her as a girl who needed to be controlled through marriage. Detailing how Warren Jeffs's influence over the church twisted its already rigid beliefs in dangerous new directions, Wall portrays the inescapable mind-set and unrelenting pressure that forced her to wed despite her repeated protests that she was too young.

Once she was married, Wall's childhood shattered as she was obligated to follow Jeffs's directives and submit to her husband in "mind, body, and soul." With little money and no knowledge of the outside world, she was trapped and forced to endure the pain and abuse of her loveless relationship, which eventually pushed her to spend nights sleeping in her truck rather than face the tormentor in her bed.

Yet even in those bleak times, she retained a sliver of hope that one day she would find a way out, and one snowy night that came in the form of a rugged stranger named Lamont Barlow. Their chance encounter set in motion a friendship and eventual romance that gave her the strength she needed to break free from her past and sever the chains of the church.

But though she was out of the FLDS, Wall would still have to face Jeffs—this time in court. In Stolen Innocence, she delves into the difficult months on the outside that led her to come forward against him, working with prosecutors on one of the biggest criminal cases in Utah's history, so that other girls still inside the church might be spared her cruel fate.

More than a tale of survival and freedom, Stolen Innocence is the story of one heroic woman who stood up for what was right and reclaimed her life.

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06/25/08

Petra X rated it:

bookshelves: biography-memoir-true-story, philosophy-religion

Read in June, 2008

I read this to gain balance after reading Caroline Jessop's Escape. I found this book to full of self-pity and self-glory but with a paucity of background information on the FLDS. That isn't to say it isn't a good book - it is a chilling story well told.

Stolen Innocence reads quite strangely, but you can't put your finger on what is strange and why it is until you reach the last few chapters which are about Warren Jeffs trial as late as February 2008 (I am writing this June 2008) w...more I read this to gain balance after reading Caroline Jessop's Escape. I found this book to full of self-pity and self-glory but with a paucity of background information on the FLDS. That isn't to say it isn't a good book - it is a chilling story well told.

Stolen Innocence reads quite strangely, but you can't put your finger on what is strange and why it is until you reach the last few chapters which are about Warren Jeffs trial as late as February 2008 (I am writing this June 2008) when you realise that the co-writer, Lisa Pulitzer, has used all the trial material for the book.

The book presents a much more rounded picture of life with its happy times as well as sad, in the FLDS than Escape.
The central mystery of why the women stay when they are treated like property (and told so) is that from birth they are told that the wicked will be destroyed soon i.e. in the next few years and that only those who are observant members of the FLDS will be saved. Further, should they die before this final apocalypse, then they can only get into heaven and eternal life at the invitation of their husband who must have at least three wives. Now this may sound ridiculous to you and me, but if you think of your own beliefs of whatever religion you are or were brought up, they probably sound equally ridiculous to a non-adherent.

This brainwashing and control by fear is exploited by one further factor, that the FLDS has a prophet with a direct line to heaven, much as the Catholics have a Pope who is equally infallible. It is the prophet who controls where someone will life, who and when they will marry, and has the power to confiscate property, remove spouses and children and have the person literally, physically thrown out of religion and the place they live in.

Hard to stand up against all that? Elissa's brothers merely questioned it and were thrown out. She was strong and won through, gaining a conviction of accessory to rape against Jeffs, but her mother - her mother with all her love let her children be used because her faith said it was the right thing.

Through reading these two books, I have come to understand that it was a good thing to remove the children from the FLDS compound in Texas. Its a shame that the centre couldn't hold - a generation raised without brainwashing, without hating people of a different colour and fearing the evilness of us, the people of the world, would have had a chance of self-determination and freedom. But maybe the prophet that has taken over from Jeffs will be a benevolent one. I hope so.

All in all a story like a fantasy, an alternative world, but chillingly true and a good read.(less)

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11/20/08

Chantel rated it:

bookshelves: life-stories

Read in November, 2008

I am easily obsessed with these stories of women oppressed by and then escaping from the FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints, an offshoot of the Mormon Church).

This is heavy shit!

The author was forced to get married to her first cousin when she was 14. (I think the husband was 19.) She was then forced to "perform her wifely" duty with him. Yikes! Bad news. Bad, bad news. The happy news it that she finally found true love and escaped from the oppress...more

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09/20/08

Anne rated it:

I forget how I first heard about Stolen Innocence, but, by coincidence, I found it just after finishing "Infidel," by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, about growing up Muslim. The parallels between Elissa Walls' experiences growing up in the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) in Utah & Arizona and those of Hirsi Ali in Africa & the Middle East were frighteningly numerous: strict fundamentalism & extremism, domination and abuse of power by men (rationalized by so-called "religious...more

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06/04/08

CJ rated it:

bookshelves: 2008-books

Read in June, 2008

I've read everything I could get my hands on about the FLDS in the last couple of years. This is another book about a woman who left the religion after years of abuse - she was married at 14 to her first cousin. This cousin then spent years mentally and physically abusing her before she broke away.

Great insight into the FLDS group and why it's so hard for women to leave it.

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02/04/09

Carmaletta rated it:

Read in February, 2009

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

I didn't care for this one nearly as much as those by Carolyn Jessop and Flora Mae Jessop. When I first started this book, I had high expectations. Learning that Elissa's father was not born and raised in the FLDS was intriguing and drew me in. How do two intelligent people (Mr. Wall and his first wife) find themselves conned by this cult of fundamentalism? I would have preferred to hear his story, if anyone could ever get him or his wife, Audrey, to talk. After all he'd been through, why d...more I didn't care for this one nearly as much as those by Carolyn Jessop and Flora Mae Jessop. When I first started this book, I had high expectations. Learning that Elissa's father was not born and raised in the FLDS was intriguing and drew me in. How do two intelligent people (Mr. Wall and his first wife) find themselves conned by this cult of fundamentalism? I would have preferred to hear his story, if anyone could ever get him or his wife, Audrey, to talk. After all he'd been through, why didn't he leave?

Unfortunately, the story I was given was a lot less interesting, and by the end, I was forcing myself to finish the book. The hardest part was reminding myself that she was a child at the time, and that at heart, despite her relationship with Lamont and her children, Elissa Wall is still a child who does not take responsibility for her actions.

Now, I fully admit that everything that happened to her was wrong. There is no question of that, and I am very glad that a jury found Warren Jeffs guilty. I wish the community itself had been deemed just as guilty, but how can one convict an entire community? Everyone there knew that it was wrong, including members of Elissa's family, but no one did anything. They were many against one man, and while I understand that they were brainwashed, there were many who even Elissa admits knew that this was wrong. Hardly any of them, however, are condemned by her.

I didn't like the way that she kept saying how she had "tried" with Allen in her marriage. Perhaps as a child she thought she was trying, but now, as an adult, she should be able to admit that she didn't try. It was wrong and dirty, and so no, she did not make an attempt to make that horrible marriage work. I would respect her more, now, if she'd just said, "Look, I hated it, and I didn't try." Because let's face it, never being home is not trying. I also dislike the way she kept saying how she didn't want to abandon her mom and her sisters, how they "needed" her and she couldn't just leave them. I didn't see very many instances where she talked about doing that much for them, other than giving them money every now and again. Mostly, they were just there for her to use when she didn't want to be home with Allen. And, in the end, she didn't even "leave" the FLDS. She just kept becoming more and more "rebellious" until they finally just kicked her out.

I am not condemning any of Elissa Wall's actions during these years in the FLDS and in this arranged marriage. I just don't agree with the way she talks about them now, years later, as an adult. I expected a lot more than a child's repetitive story peppered with words that she would have never known. The co-author on this did not do a very good job at making me care about Elissa Wall's story. Perhaps if I heard this directly from Elissa, I would feel differently. With the telling of it in this book, however, I just didn't care. This was nowhere near as engaging at the other polygamy books that I had read, and as I said in the beginning of this, I would have preferred to hear the story of her father and his first wife.(less)

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12/08/08

Lisa rated it:

This book had me in it's thrall, mainly because the paradox of religious freedom has become almost an obsession for me in recent years. Look at the religious right who cry about their freedoms being violated because retailers won't say "Merry Christmas" yet they deprive their own children of the very freedom they claim they are trying to protect, by virtually imprisoning them in their so-called faith. (I say so-called because faith is something that comes from within, not something for...more This book had me in it's thrall, mainly because the paradox of religious freedom has become almost an obsession for me in recent years. Look at the religious right who cry about their freedoms being violated because retailers won't say "Merry Christmas" yet they deprive their own children of the very freedom they claim they are trying to protect, by virtually imprisoning them in their so-called faith. (I say so-called because faith is something that comes from within, not something forced on you). A number of these kids are homeschooled, restricted from reading, watching, listening to or associating themselves with anything that might derail their indoctrination into their parents' beliefs. As someone who grew up in a while not exactly devout, at least an adherant Catholic family, we thought we had it bad, being dragged out of our warm beds and forced into uncomfortable cotton dresses and tights and hauled whining and protesting into church every Sunday. I don't ever remember actually paying attention in a single service, as I child I usually sent every Sunday afternoon in time out for squirming around the whole service, as a preteen I usually spent the time formulating gymnastic routines in my head or daydreaming about whatever pop star I was obsessed with at the time, in high school I actually went through a phase where I actually participated in church activities, even giving reading in mass occasionally but that was only because Youth Group turned out to be a great place to meet boys, and by college I gave up on it altogether, joining the legions of teens/young adults who drove around Kansas City every Sunday night while ditching mass. (Thank you, Christ the King for your "Last Chance Mass" service for providing us with that perfect oppurtunity). Sometimes we even went as far as going inside the church, grabbing a bulletin as proof we'd been there, and leaving. (yes, I know I'm going to Hell for that alone). Other than that though, our lives were pretty much secular, once we got "good with God" we were pretty much free to go back to our soap operas, MTV and general hedonism for another week. On the whole, we were lucky. I absorbed enough to know right from wrong, and even though we got the "as long as you live under this roof you will go to church" lecture at least once a year, even after we moved out, we as adults still had the freedom to ultimately make the final decision once we were on our own. That's the case in most families I know, and in most cases the formula worked, since most of my friends continue to follow their families' faith, or at least continue to indentify themselves by the religion they were raised in. My family is the anomaly, not one of us are still practicing Catholics, and only my oldest sister practices any kind of religion at all. Oddly enough, my parents were proud when she announced she had converted to Episcopalian. And my mom eventually accepted my brothers atheism, and the rest of our agnosticism. That's the case in most families, as an adult you have the right to make that choice, and the worst thing they can do to you is cut you off financially and emotionally. That may be a horrible thing to do, but you're still free to be your own person.

Not so in the FLDS, or other extreme sects. You're pretty much born into slavery, and for what? To do nothing but continue to reproduce more people doomed to empty pointless lives? There's no real spirituality here, just control. Elissa and her siblings only began living once they escape once and for all, and escape it was, since FLDS apparantly doesn't take kindly to anyone wanting to leave and have allegedly hunted down wayward members and "enouraged" them to return. I loved the latter part of the book, as Elissa bit by bit discovered the joys of the outside world, holiday celebrations, finding true love, and best of all, discovering that she had the power to fight back against those who abused her in the past, and expose to the world the "prophet" for what he really is-nothing more than a sick, pedophile control freak. (less)

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05/15/08

Lara rated it:

bookshelves: for-harper-collins

Read in May, 2008

I was predisposed to enjoy the book, considering that I’m pretty fascinated by fundamentalist Mormons. I can’t remember if this fascination started with Big Love or if it started with Under the Banner of Heaven. In fact, it might be more appropriate to say I’m pretty fascinated with extremists of any kind, really. (Which brings me to a tangent: did y’all ever see that BBC show where the host basically visited extremists and tried to understand why they believed the things that they belie...more

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09/02/08

Cam added it

bookshelves: 2008

I wanted to read this book after reading Carolyn Jessop's book on the same topic- living in polygamy. I think this adds more credit to Carolyn's account. I was wrapped up in this story and found myself crying when the verdict was read against Warren Jeffs. This girl has overcome a lot of challenges, and once again I've realized how blessed I am to enjoy so many freedoms.

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07/25/08

♡ Eva ♡ rated it:

bookshelves: b-non-fiction, cults-polygamy-religon

Read in December, 2008

recommended to ♡ Eva ♡ by: found at Wal-Mart
recommends it for: anyone interested in polygamy, anyone interested in non-fiction in general

Astonishing. I think, for me, this was even more astonishing than Carolyn Jessups book Escape which was my entrance into the polygamy. I knew only the definition of the word before reading Escape and have since been gathering almost everything I can find on the subject.
This was a real quick book- mainly because you really can't put it down. The emotion is so raw it's scary. I found myself feeling so many different things at so many different points in her life story. One thing I liked a l...more Astonishing. I think, for me, this was even more astonishing than Carolyn Jessups book Escape which was my entrance into the polygamy. I knew only the definition of the word before reading Escape and have since been gathering almost everything I can find on the subject.
This was a real quick book- mainly because you really can't put it down. The emotion is so raw it's scary. I found myself feeling so many different things at so many different points in her life story. One thing I liked a lot is that the reader gets two points of view from Mrs. Wall, one from her childhood and one from her "adult" life. I use that term sparingly since she was technically a grown-up in the FLDS at age 14. She didn't leave the group until years later so we do see a much desired difference in her ways. Adding what happened with the court case, as of the time of writing was nice also for anyone who didn't follow the court proceedings like myself.
This is definitely in the top five books I've read this year- I was engaged the whole time and didn't find one page that I wasn't thinking, thinking, thinking.
It scares me to no end to think this is still happening and that there are still women and young children trapped in this type of situation.
Eliss Wall did an excellent job of sharing with her readers why us "normal" people have such a hard time understanding FLDS people. Before reading this and Escape I probably would have been one of the ones saying, "Just walk away. Leave. Get out." Now I realize it's not that easy. These people are taught that "normal" people are evil and will go to hell. They're taught that we will hurt them and take away from them when nothing is further than the truth.
I truly hope the rest of Mrs. Walls life is exactly the opposite of the beginning of her life in terms of pain and happiness. I also hope she can continue to help the young girls and women who are still stuck in the mentality that Warren Jeffs continued long after Joseph Smith and his father, Rulon Jeffs died.

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09/19/08

Cody rated it:

bookshelves: mormonism, nonfiction

Read in November, 2008

At first I wasn't sure if I was going to enjoy this book. It is the story of a young girl growing up in the polygamous FLDS faith. Married at age 14 under duress she suffered much as a very young and naive bride. She eventually left the marriage and was instrumental in getting Warren Jeffs, the then prophet, sent to prison.

I have to admit that the more I read the more I enjoyed learning about her perspectives concerning the FLDS. I was appalled at the control that Warren Jeffs as...more

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08/06/08

Elizabeth rated it:

Read in August, 2008

A quick read, frustrating on many levels. Ms. Wall does a good job of illustrating the apparently poisonous influence of Warren Jeffs on her entire community. Whether one approves of this social/religous structure or not, it seems clear that all it takes is one bad leader to bring it all down. One of the more pragmatic reasons not to get involved in something like this. In terms of her own family and her own choices, I got the sense there was more nuance to it than made the book.

Som...more

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07/06/08

Beth rated it:

I wanted to read this so I could find out for myself what the FLDS church believed. I thought that they would have some similar beliefs with the LDS church of which I belong. There are really none except that they belive in The Book of Mormon. But, their interpretation of The Book of Mormon is so different than that of the LDS religion. The biggest difference is that the LDS religion is very pro-family and we are to supposed to support and love our families through all trials that we go thro...more

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11/20/08

Monlka808 rated it:

Has a copy to sell/swap

It is fascinating to me that Warren actually got away with everything this book talks about. It scares me and makes me realize how there really are 'cult like' religions. Very glad I wasn't born into a family like this one! It's sickening what these young girls had to experience, and by someone they are supposed to trust.

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02/24/09

Indra rated it:

Read in February, 2009

An extremely gripping read...more for the story than the writing. I could not help but like the narrator, who risked a great deal to come forward to try to help others as well as herself. She does a good job explaining the beliefs she was raised with and her story illustrates just what a hold the FLDS church has on many of its believers. Elissa Wall has a lot of strength, grace, and dignity...when she says she still cares about her loved ones and understands their internal struggles--even thou...more

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02/24/09

Christina Stind rated it:

bookshelves: 2009, biography, non-fiction

Read in February, 2009

The power of this book is in the story. And the story is so powerful that even though the various spelling mistakes throughout this book bothers me - they don't really matter.
The story is so powerful, so almost unbelievable. Throughout the book I was in shock that this can actually take place in the States, in a civilised society. I'm amazed that men can still dominate women and children in this way today.
The book follows Elissa Wall's life from childhood untill she breaks out of the...more The power of this book is in the story. And the story is so powerful that even though the various spelling mistakes throughout this book bothers me - they don't really matter.
The story is so powerful, so almost unbelievable. Throughout the book I was in shock that this can actually take place in the States, in a civilised society. I'm amazed that men can still dominate women and children in this way today.
The book follows Elissa Wall's life from childhood untill she breaks out of the sect in her late teens and finds love - and it follows the trial against Warren Jeffs.
It details how life was (is?) in this sect - how women could only get into heaven if their husbands were satisfied with them and how women were basically just a property, waiting to be told where to be placed by the prophet who controlled who married who and also had the power to separate husband and wife and children if he chose so.
Girls are expected to just 'keep sweet' - learn to be obedient and how to be a good wife. The biggest thing in their lives is when they are told who they are to marry and then get married and have children. For Elissa, this happened at the tender age of 14 - even though she fought her hardest to avoid being married in the first place, and being married to the man the prophet has chosen for her secondly.
She got married, she got abused and raped - and nobody cared, even when she begged for help.
One of the thing that really got to me was how her mother time and time again chose her religion and the prophet's words over her children. Her (underage) sons are shipped away and not welcome, her daughters are married away without a say - and she does nothing but keeps sweet like a good wife should. She wants to secure her place in heaven - but she does so at the cost of her children, and as a new mother I have a hard time understanding that.
The book is so very interesting - and sadly, very relevant. I was blown away almost all the way throughout the book and I still wonder how it's possible to keep people away from other people, media, internet etc and use their salvation as a way to control them and keep them quiet.(less)

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09/12/08

BookActivist rated it:

Read in July, 2008

recommended to BookActivist by: Jeannie Howard
recommends it for: EVERYONE

This was an amazing book. It was very well written and I began to care deeply for this poor girl. It striked my interest in this subject and upset me deeply that our government and law enforcement is allowing this to happen.

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03/24/09

Emilee rated it:

bookshelves: own, picoult, read-to-the-kids-2008, reviewed

Read in March, 2009

Elissa was very brave to be able to leave the polygamous "cult" and share her story. I do hope that this story can reach out to others that are living in oppressed environments.

First, in my reading I would say that the FLDS is clearly a cult that is oppressing the women and children and some of the adult males. Clearly there is a leader, who has complete control over the entire community; financially, educationally, spiritually, and physically. Mr. Jeffs clearly has issues ...more

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01/06/09

Natalie rated it:

bookshelves: nonfiction--not-politcs

Read in January, 2009

Just another example of brainwashing in the name of God.

Ever since we visited Salt Lake City and saw the Mormon temple, I wanted to know about the people who still practiced polygamy. They don't in the conventional Mormon religion, however, the author of this book was born into an extremist sect that not only practices polygamy, but marries children off to 80 year old men.

The author was forced to get married to a "Forrest Gump" type without the sincerity and sw...more

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01/01/09

Ingrid rated it:

bookshelves: polygamy

Read in July, 2008

I greatly admire and respect Elissa Wall, but not her book... obviously written with the help of an amateur journalist. Yes, the story SEEMED interesting enough for me to pay $25, but wasn't worth it in the least. I guess it could be a good beach read... but check it out of the library, or at least wait for the paperback. This book is no work of art, and certainly wasn't life changing. The writing was laugh out loud terrible. I guess I have to give it to Elissa, though--she certainly had a tough...more

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02/09/09

Jenna rated it:

Read in February, 2009

i don't really know what i thought of this book - i listened to the whole thing and i do know that the whininess of the narrators voice irritated me and i had to keep telling myself that it is a sad story but found that i kept wanting her to shut up and stop whining! i would have liked more background into the FLDS since I know nothing, I would have liked the author to show more spine - though she was in a way - since she left her marriage eventually, did things behind the groups back etc but th...more

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