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Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self

4.01 of 5 stars 4.01  ·  rating details  ·  105 ratings  ·  17 reviews
More than personal boundaries, this book is really about relationships--healthy and unhealthy ones. Here bestselling author and psychotherapist Charles Whitfield blends theories and dynamics from several disciplines into practical knowledge and actions that your can use in your relationships right now.

This comprehensive book opens with clear definitions and descriptions of
Paperback, 288 pages
Published April 1st 1994 by Health Communications (first published January 1st 1993)
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For me this book took a little time to get rolling. The initial information had too much of a flavor of pop psychology for my taste (as is often the case with self help books). But it did eventually begin to take off and actually the information has proven very useful.

Although I have been in therapy for many years, I came to realize through this book that my understanding of healthy boundaries was poor. I also came to realize that I was not very articular with speaking up when my personal bounda
+ + + all the tables and diagrams, i love and appreciate personal emotional and spiritual information conveyed in the most dispassionate way
+++ direct and nuanced approach to exploring aspects of boundaries: clarity towards what is mine and what is not mine, rigidity vs firmness and flexibility, learning and knowing how and when to set healthy boundaries, trust, handle conflict and be real with people, determining appropriate closeness/sharing and distance/privacy, how to move away from co-depen
Some interesting clarification. But overall I didn't like the writing style, I found all his references to other books he's written frustrating, and the numerous charts and tables were confusing and distracting.
This book taught me about telling the difference between what is mine and not mine, letting go of all-or-nothing thinking, identifying how screwed up my childhood was, the importance of listening to myself, and how different people need different levels of boundaries.

Some of which was new, some of which I knew before and was interesting to rethink about within the context of boundaries.

I also learned to dislike the author's sloppy lists, circular arguments, and narrow-vision views on the world.
Boundaries are a big deal in having healthy and good relationships. This book was a great help in understanding how to have healthy boundaries.
My therapist suggested I read this, but even with loaning it to me, she suggested to focus on the early chapters, and that much of the book could be laborious with the author's concepts of "true self". She wanted me to glean more perspective on healthy emotional boundaries. I did indeed find it difficult to get interested in the book, and ended up giving up. I don't believe the book was helping me any further than what my therapist had already discussed with me.
This is the only book that I have ever come across that links boundaries and relationships together. I like how it shows the fact that even becoming ""over boundaried"" is a boundary infringement in itself, as that can block another person's right to freedom.
Joani Jacob
So far, I've learned I'm not crazy!! What a relief!
Seriously - it's not quite what I'm used to reading, but I've been very empowerd by discoveries made while reading this book. Worth the read!
Good book on how to work with boundaries and your relationships. But spoke a bit about God, if you can see past this, it's better. I would recommend it and revisit this book.
Worth the read. Gave me some really good insights into the why of what people do. Also, has been helpful for me in setting new boundaries in my life.
I learned a lot about my PTSD and codependency, as well as how to differentiate myself and my responsibilities from those of others.
what *didn't* i learn?! mostly helped me make sense of why i see things the way I do sometimes
LOTS to think about and LOTS of work ahead. Looking forward to reading Whitfield's other books.
Andrea Gustafson
Every person should read this whether it be the workplace or for home.
Never bad to revisit this topic and read a well regarded source.
Good quote: "'No' is a complete sentence."

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Charles Whitfield is a physician who specializes in helping people who are alcoholic, chemical dependent or co-dependent, and adult children of troubled or dysfunctional families. He has also worked, and continues to work on healing his own child within.

More about Charles L. Whitfield...
Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families A Gift to Myself: A Personal Workbook and Guide to "Healing the Child Within" Memory and Abuse: Remembering and Healing the Effects of Trauma Co-Dependence - Healing the Human Condition: Healing the Human Condition The Power of Humility: Choosing Peace Over Conflict in Relationships

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“By choosing recovery and risking to be real, we set the healthy boundaries that say, "I am in charge of my recovery and my life, and no one else on this Earth is.” 33 likes
“Contacting and living from our True Self is the central task of personal growth.” 0 likes
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