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Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self

4.01  ·  Rating Details ·  155 Ratings  ·  19 Reviews
More than personal boundaries, this book is really about relationships--healthy and unhealthy ones. Here bestselling author and psychotherapist Charles Whitfield blends theories and dynamics from several disciplines into practical knowledge and actions that your can use in your relationships right now.

This comprehensive book opens with clear definitions and descriptions of
Paperback, 288 pages
Published April 1st 1994 by Health Communications (first published January 1st 1993)
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Nov 21, 2012 Stephanie rated it liked it
For me this book took a little time to get rolling. The initial information had too much of a flavor of pop psychology for my taste (as is often the case with self help books). But it did eventually begin to take off and actually the information has proven very useful.

Although I have been in therapy for many years, I came to realize through this book that my understanding of healthy boundaries was poor. I also came to realize that I was not very articular with speaking up when my personal bounda
May 08, 2015 Kristen rated it liked it
Shelves: psychology
Some interesting clarification. But overall I didn't like the writing style, I found all his references to other books he's written frustrating, and the numerous charts and tables were confusing and distracting.
Aug 02, 2015 Rebecca rated it it was amazing
Boundaries are a big deal in having healthy and good relationships. This book was a great help in understanding how to have healthy boundaries.
Dec 02, 2014 Klelly rated it really liked it
+ + + all the tables and diagrams, i love and appreciate personal emotional and spiritual information conveyed in the most dispassionate way
+++ direct and nuanced approach to exploring aspects of boundaries: clarity towards what is mine and what is not mine, rigidity vs firmness and flexibility, learning and knowing how and when to set healthy boundaries, trust, handle conflict and be real with people, determining appropriate closeness/sharing and distance/privacy, how to move away from co-depen
This book taught me about telling the difference between what is mine and not mine, letting go of all-or-nothing thinking, identifying how screwed up my childhood was, the importance of listening to myself, and how different people need different levels of boundaries.

Some of which was new, some of which I knew before and was interesting to rethink about within the context of boundaries.

I also learned to dislike the author's sloppy lists, circular arguments, and narrow-vision views on the world.
Jan 11, 2014 Sharla rated it did not like it
Shelves: gave-up
My therapist suggested I read this, but even with loaning it to me, she suggested to focus on the early chapters, and that much of the book could be laborious with the author's concepts of "true self". She wanted me to glean more perspective on healthy emotional boundaries. I did indeed find it difficult to get interested in the book, and ended up giving up. I don't believe the book was helping me any further than what my therapist had already discussed with me.
Jul 08, 2015 Kath rated it really liked it
I. Have to say when i started to read this i was pretty skeptical about it, since its so different from my usual reads... But its actually really interesting and helpful it gives out a bit of a different point of view, making you actually look at some situations in a different manner. I actually glad i read it.
Jul 23, 2011 Orna rated it it was amazing
This is the only book that I have ever come across that links boundaries and relationships together. I like how it shows the fact that even becoming ""over boundaried"" is a boundary infringement in itself, as that can block another person's right to freedom.
Apr 25, 2016 Shell rated it really liked it
I like anything written by Charles Whitfield and find his style of writing wonderful. This book also contains wonderful information to assist one in honoring their Soul. Overall, this is a terrific work that truly serves others.
Dec 03, 2011 Amy rated it really liked it
Worth the read. Gave me some really good insights into the why of what people do. Also, has been helpful for me in setting new boundaries in my life.
Joani Jacob
Sep 25, 2010 Joani Jacob rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
So far, I've learned I'm not crazy!! What a relief!
Seriously - it's not quite what I'm used to reading, but I've been very empowerd by discoveries made while reading this book. Worth the read!
Oct 13, 2014 Shirl rated it really liked it
Good book on how to work with boundaries and your relationships. But spoke a bit about God, if you can see past this, it's better. I would recommend it and revisit this book.
Jan 09, 2009 Bridgett rated it really liked it
Shelves: psychology
I learned a lot about my PTSD and codependency, as well as how to differentiate myself and my responsibilities from those of others.
Jill rated it liked it
Dec 30, 2014
Kim rated it it was amazing
Nov 20, 2009
Jim Merrell
Jim Merrell rated it it was amazing
May 09, 2015
Lois Black
Lois Black rated it it was amazing
Nov 30, 2016
Claire rated it it was amazing
Jan 11, 2013
Natasha Irizarry
Natasha Irizarry rated it it was amazing
Jan 17, 2015
Amy rated it liked it
Feb 02, 2008
Tashia rated it it was amazing
Jan 15, 2013
May 08, 2012 Brimley rated it it was amazing
Never bad to revisit this topic and read a well regarded source.
Tammy rated it really liked it
Jan 06, 2013
Joy rated it it was amazing
Dec 08, 2015
Craig M. Runkle
Craig M. Runkle rated it liked it
Oct 10, 2015
Karen rated it it was amazing
Oct 09, 2016
Kate rated it really liked it
Mar 15, 2012
Marian rated it really liked it
May 26, 2015
Daniel Johnson
Daniel Johnson rated it really liked it
Nov 30, 2015
Jun 02, 2009 Lauren rated it it was amazing
LOTS to think about and LOTS of work ahead. Looking forward to reading Whitfield's other books.
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Charles Whitfield is a physician who specializes in helping people who are alcoholic, chemical dependent or co-dependent, and adult children of troubled or dysfunctional families. He has also worked, and continues to work on healing his own child within.

More about Charles L. Whitfield...

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“By choosing recovery and risking to be real, we set the healthy boundaries that say, "I am in charge of my recovery and my life, and no one else on this Earth is.” 38 likes
“Contacting and living from our True Self is the central task of personal growth.” 0 likes
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