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Boundaries in Dating: Participant's Guide

4.05 of 5 stars 4.05  ·  rating details  ·  2,097 ratings  ·  140 reviews
Improve your relationships with the opposite sex! Gain life-changing insights on: What boundaries are and why they re vital to enjoying healthy relationships How to a pick a winner for a dating partner How to beat personal issues that keep you from being a great date How to solve dating problems when your date is the problem Rules for Romance That Can Help You Find the Lov ...more
Paperback, 144 pages
Published March 26th 2001 by Zondervan (first published February 9th 1999)
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while people who aren't Christian may not get enjoy this book, it is such a great reminder for developing healthy relationships, and is a tell-all book of how to conduct one's self in a relationship. very nice :)
I personally realized what it was that never worked in past relationships, and how to step through each day in dating in order to get the most out of a relationship, and not let tendencies of my X-generation determine the fate of my relationship.
Don't let people step on you, this book wi
People kept telling me to read this. Fine, I did. I don't believe in this book because most of these things should be common sense. And after reading this, I believe that still holds. This book may be more pertinent if there are issues in a relationship or dichotomies in your expectations, religious views and morals. The book does a good at looking at all aspects of dating from beginning to end: from when you start looking for a partner to when you are one year in. While I'm still not a strong a ...more
This isn't the most difficult read ever and some of the points are a little "Duh", but overall – interesting points about the need for boundaries and some food for thought when trying to balance emotion and logic. Also, I'm always sort of "eh" on anything with an overarching faith-based approach to self-help. This one grated on my nerves less than I was expecting – much less.
Ihsan Mani
I really liked this book. It has lots of insights and wisdom. However, I do disagree with some of this book arguments.

In the beginning of the book, the authors show their disagreement with ‘I kissed dating goodbye’ by saying that dating is a good experience for growth regardless of each experience results and impacts. However, it seems they didn't really get the point of that book and also sometimes they seem to contradict themselves.

For example, they say that dating is for mature people, who ar
Usually dating-type books are hard for me, because I don't always take *everything* out of the read. While not everything applied to me, I did find a lot of good reminders and overall truths.

What I really liked about the book was that it forced me to stop and examine my past behaviors and think about not repeating them, as well as constructive ways to turn those past behaviors into positives. For example, saying you want your date to do something without consequences is nagging - but if you give
Goodstuff. The opening really captured my full attention when it began with a very common story that we can totally relate to. And when your interest is captured, there comes the means. This book helps you to discover what you want in a relationship, what kind of partner that is suitable for you and what kind of person you should be to pick the right person and build a life-term relationship. Detail enough, the analogies were awesome, that the arguments were much easier to visualize. However, ha ...more
Renada Thompson
"You will have a good relationship to the degree that you are able to be clear and honest about everything."

"People who can handle confrontation and feedback are the ones who can make relationships work."

"Many people try to change their patterns all on their own, using willpower, discipline, resolve, and the like. Sooner or later, they tend to fail. A desire to change is generally not enough, or we would have changed before...(Colossians 2:23).
Relationship is the fuel which makes change and gro
Alla Kim
I really enjoyed this book and recomend this book to anyone with relationship problems or worries etc. This book is a book that can help you have a healthy christian relationship with your partner. I believe that in every relationship you need god to help you grow in love and life. Boundries in Dating can really connect with the reader and help the reader understand relationships and the cause of problems etc. This book really opens your eyes as you read it and you begin to realize things in you ...more
Charlotte Liow
I really enjoyed this book. Coming from very broken relationship in the past, this book reminded me about the importance of setting healthy boundaries, the people whom I choose to date, how to deal with conflicts and how important your support system is. I think it gave me a lot of perspective and thought about moulding myself to be a better person (not just in relationships) but also life in general.
Maura Lewis
Boundaries in Dating is a helpful resource for those navigating through the tricky dating world, and would be a good pick for both the casual dater, and someone who has been with a partner exclusively for some time. Although I didn't take away from the book as much as I would have liked, (as I felt the book never moved beyond basic concepts that were reiterated unnecessarily) Boundaries in Dating definitely helped me to secure the foundation of how I want to conduct myself as a Christian firstly ...more
Maura Lewis
Boundaries in Dating is a helpful resource for those navigating through the tricky dating world, and would be a good pick for both the casual dater, and someone who has been with a partner exclusively for some time. Although I didn't take away from the book as much as I would have liked, (as I felt the book never moved beyond basic concepts that were reiterated unnecessarily) Boundaries in Dating definitely helped me to secure the foundation of how I want to conduct myself as a Christian firstly ...more
Pedantic in tone and overly simplistic in content, this book reads like Townsend/Cloud intended it for a high school youth group, not functioning adults.
Most who kissed Fundamentalist Christianity goodbye long ago probably won't choose to read this anyway.

Haley Victoria
If I ever have children, I will require them to read this book before they begin dating anyone. I wish I had it years ago!
Jason Dotson
I received a copy of this book from a family member after I went through divorce. Most of this seems like fundamental, common sense. This not a book non-Christians will see much value in. Even as a Christian, I struggled with some of their advice. Not that I felt it was wrong...just that it caused me to evaluate some of my earlier decisions. I guess we can call that growth. While I did have a few takeaways, I'm not really certain this is appropriate for folks who have "been around the block befo ...more
While many previous reviewers (rightly) noted that this book covers a lot of "common sense" concepts (though common sense isn't as commonly exercised as it may once have been....), I think the most beneficial takeaway was its comprehensive picture of what maturity in the context of dating looks like. Distinguishing between deep character flaws and petty annoyances, taking responsibility for enabling a date's misbehavior while also addressing it, and handling conflict honestly and graciously are ...more
Hanrong Tham
Great book. An essential read for those who want to go into a relationship.
It's funny how I always read these books having been ripped apart my own flaws and imbalances and had to mend it for years before realizing that there were books like these available!
So as I'm reading it, I recognize many of the character flaws in dating and am trying to correct my own. Can't be perfect though!
Still, it's rather comprehensive. I could see myself referencing a chapter or two when I find myself back in a dating predicament.
So, go read it! It's worthwhile to know what potential
Naomi Sipus
Can not recommend this book highly enough to singles.

The title isn't the correct description for the book in my opinion.

The title would better be "What character traits to look out for in a partner" OR "know when to walk away from a toxic person BEFORE marriage" OR "Engagement, not to late to back out of marriage, thats what the time is for".

I loved this book so much I will never lend my copy out to anyone for the fear it will never return. Buy it and give it as a gift to every teenage girl and
Paul Lyons
The core of the book focuses on one's boundaries...the rules and standards one needs to set in place in order to not only find the right person to marry, yet also be the right person for yourself. Part 1 of the book focuses on one's needs...and how important it is to be at peace (in a way) with one's self before devoting your time and energy to another. The doctors stress that dating is for adults, and not for children...and one should approach dating in a mature fashion, otherwise you may attra ...more
cloudies. <-- aka: devoted followers of henry cloud.

i don't know why i didn't like it. if there was a negative star, i would have rated it that. maybe even several negative stars, but that's just mean. sorry, cloudies.

not only is the writing overly simplistic but the counsel actually... sucks. it felt as if i went into a counseling session for a much needed therapy session and left a bit disappointed as thoughts of wasted time and money agitated my drive back home. speaking of... exactly ho
Samuel Ng
A practical and very useful book to protect the person that one is dating. Being careful of what to share carefully, considering the impact of what is shared- of oneself, prematurely- is a sobering and proven advice that I took. Will recommend this book. This was first introduced to me in between relationship and before I started a dating relationship with my wife then. Thank God for this
This is the best book on relationships I've read so far. It can prevent so many problems, help you recognize the right one, heal from previous wounds, and make your relationship better. It is written from a Christian perspective but has a lot of wisdom that applies to everyone. I thank God he led me to this book and I would definitely read it again or something else from the author.
Merritt Henson
Although primarily about boundaries in dating, this book is also about boundaries for healthy living. It is broad in scope, and there may only be bits and pieces that apply to you or your present relationship(s), but I believe it is a worthwhile read for everyone, particularly for those who struggle with establishing and maintaining boundaries.

In response to the reviews which state the book gives only "common sense" advice, I agree that the points it makes are "common sense"; however, I do not b
Great read. I especially like that the book is very practical about how to set boundaries and stick with them; for instance, the book mentions the importance of staying connected to a support system and being compassionate while setting boundaries. I think a lot of the advice is great and not just for dating relationships.
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships - Henry Cloud is an amazing psychologist. His books are always favorites. This one isn't an exception. Great read. Sheds light on good truths for everyone who interacts with others and wants to come from a grounded whole place.
Read half of the book while in a relationship and read remainder when I was single. Good advice and really appreciated that the authors did not dictate actions but rather encouraged thought and introspection about important issues. Definitely recommend! 4 stars
Matt Anderson
I started reading this book last October when I first started dating my fiance. Over time, marriage preparation books became more important, and this book was set aside. I finally decided to skim through the last 20-30 pages so that I could know that I had completed this book. While there is some useful information in this book, the material wasn't nearly as applicable as the material in the original "Boundaries" book. For me, it was hard to get through "Boundaries in Dating," but it may be that ...more
Good, basic information, but the writing format drove me a little crazy. I especially didn't like how the authors switched up the genderof the personal pronouns. I'm it was meant to be inclusive and personal, but all it did was confuse me.
This book made quite a few good points, but I just didn't agree with the overall message. It made the "dating scene" a little too flippant... While I can understand their reasoning for doing so (both writers seem to have been hurt in this area, etc, so taking it not as seriously could help in softening the blow of a breakup.) I still don't think it was the most helpful message to convey to young adults.

I still, however, believe it would be very beneficial for those who struggle to keep their bou
Sharon Tan
Something given to me by my cell group leader, which presented principles that were difficult to stomach at first, but gradually sank in as wise and insightful. The kind of book that you glean more from with each re-read.
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Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public semina
More about Henry Cloud...
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality

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“Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.” 19 likes
“Where there is deception there is no relationship.” 0 likes
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