Boundaries in Dating: Participant's Guide
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Boundaries in Dating: Participant's Guide

4.02 of 5 stars 4.02  ·  rating details  ·  1,504 ratings  ·  112 reviews
Improve your relationships with the opposite sex! Gain life-changing insights on: What boundaries are and why they re vital to enjoying healthy relationships How to a pick a winner for a dating partner How to beat personal issues that keep you from being a great date How to solve dating problems when your date is the problem Rules for Romance That Can Help You Find the Lov...more
Paperback, 144 pages
Published March 26th 2001 by Zondervan (first published February 9th 1999)
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while people who aren't Christian may not get enjoy this book, it is such a great reminder for developing healthy relationships, and is a tell-all book of how to conduct one's self in a relationship. very nice :)
I personally realized what it was that never worked in past relationships, and how to step through each day in dating in order to get the most out of a relationship, and not let tendencies of my X-generation determine the fate of my relationship.
Don't let people step on you, this book wi...more
People kept telling me to read this. Fine, I did. I don't believe in this book because most of these things should be common sense. And after reading this, I believe that still holds. This book may be more pertinent if there are issues in a relationship or dichotomies in your expectations, religious views and morals. The book does a good at looking at all aspects of dating from beginning to end: from when you start looking for a partner to when you are one year in. While I'm still not a strong a...more
This isn't the most difficult read ever and some of the points are a little "Duh", but overall – interesting points about the need for boundaries and some food for thought when trying to balance emotion and logic. Also, I'm always sort of "eh" on anything with an overarching faith-based approach to self-help. This one grated on my nerves less than I was expecting – much less.
Goodstuff. The opening really captured my full attention when it began with a very common story that we can totally relate to. And when your interest is captured, there comes the means. This book helps you to discover what you want in a relationship, what kind of partner that is suitable for you and what kind of person you should be to pick the right person and build a life-term relationship. Detail enough, the analogies were awesome, that the arguments were much easier to visualize. However, ha...more
Renada Thompson
"You will have a good relationship to the degree that you are able to be clear and honest about everything."

"People who can handle confrontation and feedback are the ones who can make relationships work."

"Many people try to change their patterns all on their own, using willpower, discipline, resolve, and the like. Sooner or later, they tend to fail. A desire to change is generally not enough, or we would have changed before...(Colossians 2:23).
Relationship is the fuel which makes change and gro...more
Alla Kim
I really enjoyed this book and recomend this book to anyone with relationship problems or worries etc. This book is a book that can help you have a healthy christian relationship with your partner. I believe that in every relationship you need god to help you grow in love and life. Boundries in Dating can really connect with the reader and help the reader understand relationships and the cause of problems etc. This book really opens your eyes as you read it and you begin to realize things in you...more
Maura Lewis
Boundaries in Dating is a helpful resource for those navigating through the tricky dating world, and would be a good pick for both the casual dater, and someone who has been with a partner exclusively for some time. Although I didn't take away from the book as much as I would have liked, (as I felt the book never moved beyond basic concepts that were reiterated unnecessarily) Boundaries in Dating definitely helped me to secure the foundation of how I want to conduct myself as a Christian firstly...more
Pedantic in tone and overly simplistic in content, this book reads like Townsend/Cloud intended it for a high school youth group, not functioning adults.
Most who kissed Fundamentalist Christianity goodbye long ago probably won't choose to read this anyway.

Jason Dotson
I received a copy of this book from a family member after I went through divorce. Most of this seems like fundamental, common sense. This not a book non-Christians will see much value in. Even as a Christian, I struggled with some of their advice. Not that I felt it was wrong...just that it caused me to evaluate some of my earlier decisions. I guess we can call that growth. While I did have a few takeaways, I'm not really certain this is appropriate for folks who have "been around the block befo...more
Hanrong Tham
Great book. An essential read for those who want to go into a relationship.
Usually dating-type books are hard for me, because I don't always take *everything* out of the read. While not everything applied to me, I did find a lot of good reminders and overall truths.

What I really liked about the book was that it forced me to stop and examine my past behaviors and think about not repeating them, as well as constructive ways to turn those past behaviors into positives. For example, saying you want your date to do something without consequences is nagging - but if you give...more
Paul Lyons
The core of the book focuses on one's boundaries...the rules and standards one needs to set in place in order to not only find the right person to marry, yet also be the right person for yourself. Part 1 of the book focuses on one's needs...and how important it is to be at peace (in a way) with one's self before devoting your time and energy to another. The doctors stress that dating is for adults, and not for children...and one should approach dating in a mature fashion, otherwise you may attra...more
cloudies. <-- aka: devoted followers of henry cloud.

i don't know why i didn't like it. if there was a negative star, i would have rated it that. maybe even several negative stars, but that's just mean. sorry, cloudies.

not only is the writing overly simplistic but the counsel actually... sucks. it felt as if i went into a counseling session for a much needed therapy session and left a bit disappointed as thoughts of wasted time and money agitated my drive back home. speaking of... exactly ho...more
Merritt Henson
Although primarily about boundaries in dating, this book is also about boundaries for healthy living. It is broad in scope, and there may only be bits and pieces that apply to you or your present relationship(s), but I believe it is a worthwhile read for everyone, particularly for those who struggle with establishing and maintaining boundaries.

In response to the reviews which state the book gives only "common sense" advice, I agree that the points it makes are "common sense"; however, I do not b...more
Rachel Heisey
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships - Henry Cloud is an amazing psychologist. His books are always favorites. This one isn't an exception. Great read. Sheds light on good truths for everyone who interacts with others and wants to come from a grounded whole place.
Read half of the book while in a relationship and read remainder when I was single. Good advice and really appreciated that the authors did not dictate actions but rather encouraged thought and introspection about important issues. Definitely recommend! 4 stars
Matt Anderson
I started reading this book last October when I first started dating my fiance. Over time, marriage preparation books became more important, and this book was set aside. I finally decided to skim through the last 20-30 pages so that I could know that I had completed this book. While there is some useful information in this book, the material wasn't nearly as applicable as the material in the original "Boundaries" book. For me, it was hard to get through "Boundaries in Dating," but it may be that...more
This book made quite a few good points, but I just didn't agree with the overall message. It made the "dating scene" a little too flippant... While I can understand their reasoning for doing so (both writers seem to have been hurt in this area, etc, so taking it not as seriously could help in softening the blow of a breakup.) I still don't think it was the most helpful message to convey to young adults.

I still, however, believe it would be very beneficial for those who struggle to keep their bou...more
Micaela Semien
This book is really good, I have learned so much about myself as well as relationships. This really has helped me in my relationships now and I have used the tools now as I am forming future relationships. I really enjoyed reading this.
Andrew Linderer
FINALLY! Kinda bummed because I have been wanting to write this book for about 7 years and Henry Cloud beat me to it but he says stuff that I've been dying for Christian "dating authors" to say for so long.
Brandon Halvorsen
While it wasn't the most exciting read it did have important information one should know when it comes to relationships and dating. Wish I would have read it when it first came out! If you practice the principles offered in it, it will not only help you grow but also attract the healthy people ready for a relationship that has the potential to last and be fulfilling. It will also help you improve relationship you're in or help you see the need to move on to a better relationship.

A quote: "Often...more
As I read through this, I couldn't help but think at how much common sense was in it, and how obvious his points were. It almost seemed insulting to my intelligence. But I also couldn't help but think how many people fail to live up to such simple, common sense principles. I see reviews of this book where people never got much out of it because everything in it seemed so obvious to them, but I question if they actually have a healthy dating life and are actually using these principles, or are sh...more
This book made me realize some mistakes I have made in past and present romantic relationships. As "obvious" as some of the advice is,it has given me a better perspective on some things that I do that I can work on to be a better partner.
Really liked this. Helped me organize and communicate my thoughts, something at which I'm not so great. :( I found it very readable, interesting, lots of concrete examples, and encouraging. Most of what the authors are trying to communicate seems like it should be common sense, but it helped to have it titled, organized, and categorized. I love lists and tables. :) Also had lots of biblical support, both general principles and specific verses, so I felt like I could trust what they were saying (...more
I really enjoyed this book. It put a new perspective on what it means to date and what it means to have a companion. It brings it back to the friendship as a fundamental foundation - not as a method of cruel self-denial or asceticism or frigidity but as a method of exercising some control over emotions and one's own investment. It allows sex to be uncomplicated.

Yet, boundaries here are not just physical. There are emotional boundaries and limits on behaviors. It is a guide not just for dating bu...more
This is, by far, the best book on dating I have ever read. It is also the most practical. Why merely review it when I can work on applying it?
Stephanie Bird
This book helped me learn "you get what you tolerate". All these years I thought being patient and giving to others to what they were able to give back actually just allowed others a free pass to violate my feelings with disregard and disrespect. What a wake-up call.
I think this book will change my life with support and hard work.
Jan 18, 2009 Jamie rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Any Single Person
Shelves: favorites
I can sum up this book in one word: empowering. I found it to be a very helpful tool for dating. It’s empowering because I’ve been able to pinpoint some weak areas in my own life and know how better to address those weaknesses. It also gives me the tools to address weaknesses in my date in a way that honors/respects God and everyone involved. It’s a must read for anyone longing to have a healthy dating life. And an added bonus: there was an ease to reading it because the authors were great at in...more
One of the best books on dating that I have read.
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Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public semina...more
More about Henry Cloud...
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't How People Grow: What the Bible Reveals about Personal Growth

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“Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.” 15 likes
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