Grunts

Grunts

3.5 of 5 stars 3.50  ·  rating details  ·  597 ratings  ·  53 reviews
The usual last battle of Good against Evil is about to begin?and Orc Captain Ashnak and his war-band know exactly what to expect. The forces of Light are outnumbered, full of headstrong heroes devoid of tactics, but the Light?s still going to win. Orcs will die by the thousands, and no one cares. No even the Nameless Necromancer who hired them.



Mass Market Paperback, 464 pages
Published August 1st 1995 by Roc (first published July 16th 1992)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 1,017)
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Indy Kochte
Grunts – A fantasy novel with a modern twist. Imagine a world with orcs and elves and goblins and dwarves and trolls and halflings and humans and undead and dragons and wizards and Dark Lords – then throw in a bit of contemporary modern weaponry, training, and U.S. Marine philosophy. Stir until well blended. And tell the tale from the POV of the *orcs*!

Overall I liked the story. It was a definitive change of pace (and point of view!) from your otherwise ‘everyday’ fantasy novel. I found myself a...more
1.1
I don't usually read trade paperbacks of the fantasy variety, but I recall the comforting smell of this class of books from my mid-to-late childhood, when I would lurk around idly reading Star Wars and Redwall books like any socially successful, well-adjusted boy. They smell comfortably bland, and they don't weigh much, but there's lots of pages to escape into. This book smells basically exactly like a trade paperback, but it doesn't look particularly like a reeking tome of fantasy nonsense, and...more
Jason
This book is fantastic! It was hilarious from start to finish. I'm reading some of the other reviews and all I can think of is..you know it's told from the greenskins/evil/darkside perspective right? It's supposed to be disgusting, and crude and vulgar they're orcs. Pick up about 98-99% of any fantasy/sci-fi book and it's always about the hero(s) and their struggles and good blah blah, but what about the other side? The plot is outright ludicrous and it's like a science fiction fantasy inside a...more
David Sarkies
Dec 19, 2011 David Sarkies rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition Recommends it for: Nobody
Recommended to David by: Michael Driver
Shelves: fantasy
The first I heard of this book was when I was young and unemployed. A friend of mine didn't necessarily recommend it to me, but was rather laughing about it with some other friends of mine. Apparently their favourite line was 'pass me another elf, this one's broken'. Another friend lent it to me and I read it. In conclusion, it was one of the most painful, disqusting, disturbing, and horrible books that I have ever read. To put it lightly, I hated it.
The setting is your average fantasy setting...more
John
I can probably count the times on one hand where a book was so awful I couldn't finish it.

Sloppy narrative. Changing tense mid paragraph - which was done to the point of distraction (I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, deciding that she was doing it in certain places for emphasis - but after the fifteenth time or so, I couldn't reconcile it anymore). Encounters that didn't finish, were just sort of left floating on the breeze only to find the same characters later on in a d...more
Alytha
Slightly spoilery review!

Plot in a nutshell (more on it later): This book is set in a parallel world of Middle-Earth, where something went terribly wrong, and the forces of darkness are pretty strong, whereas the goodies are pretty dumb. The orcs killed a dragon for their dark Lord, and find a huge stash of allkinds of American marines' weapons in the dragon's hoard. As there is a curse on the hoard, which makes you become what you steal, the orcs soon start behaving like your very stereotypical...more
Terry
Fierce, cruel, dim-witted and as likely to attack each other as they are the enemy, orcs are cannon fodder, even in fantasy franchises without cannons. But what if things were different? What if, instead of attacking as a ragtag mob, they were organized -- using strategy instead of brute strength? What if they fought like Marines?

Mary Gentle's Grunts gives us a fantasy world approaching the Final Battle. It's standard Good vs Evil stuff, except the reader's sympathies are aligned with Evil. Good...more
James Pratt
A twisted take on fantasy cliches, Evil's foot-soldiers take center stage in this novel. Empowered by modern weapons found in a dragon's treasure horde, a band of orcs set about taking down both their old enemies and erstwhile masters. It's very imaginative and entertaining (not to mention very violent) though the characters are...well, whatever the opposite of nuanced is. No tortured anti-heroes here, just semi-generic good guys (who don't last very long) and bad guys who gleefully lay waste to...more
Dom
I dont remember a book I've enjoyed less, it was such a chore to finish it. I can not rate it any lower, if you like fantasy, orcs, war, comedy, then read any other book than this one. Seriously its painful reading it. I've never given up reading a book no matter how long it takes me, but I kept on leaving this book places hoping it might get stolen, alas no so I had to finish it.

Good points...I liked the idea of orcs with modern weapons but she didnt pull that off, it was clunky, cliched and po...more
Kaoru
It took me a while to get through this book, but now that I am, I'm not sure what the point of it was.

Yes, I get the rather obvious ways in which the author transferred marine behavior to a fantasy setting. Sometimes those ways were somewhat amusing, but often they were simply incongruous. The addition of other worlds and the like sort of made the interesting aspects of that transfer feel even more forced.

The author mostly skips over things she finds inconvenient to solve, and the book moves sim...more
Brad
Dec 26, 2012 Brad rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: a masochist
I give up. I can't go on. I couldn't even make it to page one hundred. I slogged through the first 85 pages, which should have been a stand-alone novella (had it been a novella, it would have been a vast improvement, and I may have sped through it had I not been daunted and confused by the presence of the 300+ pages that were still to come). For years I've been longing for a book from the Orc perspective. I wanted a story that actually gave us a hint of Orc culture, Orc life, maybe a story about...more
Martin
This is one of my favorite books, and the best parody I've read. As a parody it's beats both The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as well as the dynamic duo of The Colour of Magic & The Light Fantastic, as it forces the reader to face his/her prejudices, in this case the fantasy genre itself.

The story is told from the perspective of a gang of Orchs, which are the canon-fodder of evil and are usually just there for the blonde and bright eyed hero to slay on his way conquer evil. Ever consider...more
Stavros Tsiakalos
I believe it is important to say one thing right at the beginning of this review:
This is a Mary Gentle book. What this means is that it is graphic in its depiction of violence and sex. The book includes very explicit language. Most importantly, not all sexual encounters described in it are consensual or heterosexual. These things might offend some readers and for those people not just this, but most books by the author would be a waste of time.

That said, personally I enjoyed Mrs. Gentle’s book....more
Christopher
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jaid
I remember when I read this book several years back. I laughed so damn hard I think I peed myself a little bit. This is a great "Alternate Fantasy" title. Rather than being written from the point of view of the reluctant boy-hero, it's seen through the eyes of relatively nasty Orcs. You have all the classic stuff, swords, sorcery, and dragons. But then you have totally off the wall things like modern day Marines, alien invasions, and sexual coercion by hobbits. Best part, it's wrapped up in a ni...more
John
I admit, I didn't make it all the way through this. But the thought of returning to it to soldier on fills me with dismay, so I'm dumping it. It's not really a book about orcs, it's a book about Americans, as if there weren't enough of those. I don't find it funny, I find it tacky. Finally, the story seemed to be wandering in many directions, none of which were interesting, and many of which I expect would vanish without a trace. I don't need to find out.
Kate
I really wanted to like this book. It had a cool premise, I mean come on, who wouldn't like AK wielding orcs and sadistic halflings. I just found it boring. It is divided into 3 books, and I read book one and started book two, I just couldn't get into it. So, if you are a gamer nerd who likes military tactics, this book is for you (my hubby loved it). I just wish there were more scenes with the sadist halflings, they were more entertaining than the orcs.
M Scott
Mary Gentle's GRUNTS is neither here nor there. A pity, there's a kernel of a good book here. Maybe more than one.

There is an important idea if played straight - conscripted orcs lead terrible lives as do conscripts in conflicts in our world. There's something deep about realizing we are the orcs, born to suffer and die because of forces beyond our control and because of our own tragic flaws.

There is a funny satire of the conventions of medieval-esque fantasies possible too. Something along the...more
Steve
I gave this a one star review only because there isn't a lower one. Poorly written, with no likable characters, with no sense of continuity. I picked it up by accident because it was next to the book I wanted, so I decided to read it because the plot synopsis on the back interested me. Big mistake on my part. I will never again read anything by this person. I can't bring my self to call someone who produced such drek an author.
o
Matt De
Feb 13, 2013 Matt De rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: nobody
There are very few books I have just given up on. This is one of them. My friend recommended it to me, and based on past advice I took his word for it. After a death march to page 250, I tossed it in the recycling bin. Literally. I asked my friend why he though this steaming pile was worth reading, at which point he admitted to never finishing it either, and since htat day all his recommendations are filed as suspect, to be confirmed by alternative source.
D.L. Morrese
This is not a review because I could not force myself to finish it. It was not funny. The characters had zero appeal, and there wasn't much plot. I found the thing so distasteful I threw it in the trash rather than risk some other poor sod (who I never met and have nothing against) picking it up at a used book store.
Tim Koszyk
This book is crude, rude, gory, and vulgar. I almost died laughing at times. In the great battle between Dark and Light, everyone KNOWS Light is going to win. So how does it feel to be a lowly Orc in the forces of Darkness? And what if you were suddenly given a chance to do something about it?
Robert Keogh
Loved the concept but the execution was really poor. By the end it was sheer willpower that kept me turning the pages, refusing to be defeated. Disjointed narrative with some interesting characters and episodes. Definitely skip this one unless you're on a plane or some other area with low partial oxygen pressure.
Dave
Imagine the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, a copy of Full Metal Jacket and some really potent psychotropic drugs being placed in a blender and pureed.

It's thirty to forty thousand times better than it sounds.


Feyfire
I really couldn't get too into this book. It had it's quirks where it was entertaining but it jumped topic to topic, didn't give a timeline and it had a lot of military stuff in it that I couldn't follow.

Kevin Swanson
Overall a moderate book with some flaws. An interesting story about a fantasy world told from an orcs point of view. I found myself rooting agaisnt the main characters at several points.
Brandon Schroeder
Parts of this comedy went places you never expected it to go, in the end it wasn't quite up to par with Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams but it was still a fun read.
Soo
I tried my best to finish this book on several occasions. I just couldn't get into the story. The writing isn't bad but the story just annoyed the crap out of me.
Tyler Ferson
AMAZING!!!!!! my dad told me about this book, so i got the book and couldn't stop reading!!!!!, don't understand why so many people be hating on it?
Gareth
Not what I'd refer to as literature by any stretch of the imagination but some hilarious quotes! Look out for the one about field rations!
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Grunts (Mass Market Paperback)
Grunts! (Paperback)
Die letzte Schlacht der Orks : Roman (Hardcover)
Grunts (Hardcover)
Die Letzte Schlacht Der Orks

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Writes erotica under the pseudonym Roxanne Morgan.

Excerpted from Wikipedia:
Mary Gentle's first published novel was Hawk in Silver (1977), a young-adult fantasy. She came to prominence with the Orthe duology, which consists of Golden Witchbreed (1983) and Ancient Light (1987).

The novels Rats and Gargoyles (1990), The Architecture of Desire (1991), and Left to His Own Devices (1994), together with s...more
More about Mary Gentle...
Ash: A Secret History Golden Witchbreed A Secret History (The Book of Ash #1) Rats and Gargoyles A Sundial in a Grave: 1610

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