Real Vampires Have Curves (Glory St. Clair, #1)
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Real Vampires Have Curves (Glory St. Clair #1)

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3.8 of 5 stars 3.80  ·  rating details  ·  5,078 ratings  ·  280 reviews
What - did you think all vamps were pale, thin and brooding? Don't I wish.

Gloriana St. Clair is an eternally "full-figured" vampire-she just happened to be bloating when a sexy Scotsman sank his teeth into her. She and said Scot- Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, aka Jeremy Blade-have been on and off again for centuries, currently off. A couple hundred years has taught them h...more
Paperback, 330 pages
Published March 6th 2007 by Berkley Books
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Jennifer
This was an amazingly uneven book. It was okay, I guess. Some of the characters were cute, and the author made a valiant attempt at a "sassy" voice for her main character, but all in all it was just uneven. And kind of sloppy.

The mind-reading schtick was cute for a couple pages, then it just started to look like sloppy writing. The book's written in first person POV, and throughout the book, other characters would comment on the POV narration because they were reading her mind. After a while, wh...more
Jessica
You know all the novels about the stick thin supermodel type vampires? Well, Glory St. Clair isn’t one of those. She’s got those curves and she knows how to use them. In the first installment in this refreshing series about a curvy vampire, Glory has decided to uproot and take charge of her life - taking that hourglass shape of hers to Austin, Texas. Why Austin, you ask? With being alive for centuries, you tend to accumulate a lot of great stuff over the years so Glory is opening her own little...more
chucklesthescot
Chick-lit at its worst! I bought this because I liked the cover and title and hoped for a Queen Betsy type read. Nope, no such luck. Glory is a pain in the butt who whines on constantly about her weight, moans about having the boyfriend who adores and protects her and is of course obsessed with fashion and describing everything she sees. Yawn. The talking dog was the only thing that got me through the first few chapters and by then I couldn't bring myself to care about anyone else introduced in...more
Soraia
The title and the cover of this book made me expect a funny paranormal chick-lit but overall what I got was a silly story with awful details, specially Damian.

Real Vampires Have Curves starts really well with Glory, our heroine in this first person narrative, laying out the facts of a vampire's life. She does a fast summary of her five hundred years in a way I could imagine a fast-talking woman who gives too much information per second superficially going through very determining facts. Very en...more
Lolly's Library
Cute book, and an inviting start to the series; it doesn't take itself too seriously, it's steamy enough to raise one's temperature, but not enough to cross the boundary into pornography, and the swearing is kept to a non-distracting minimum. (I don't mind the F-bomb, but it makes me wonder, when authors use it almost as often as the word 'the', if those authors are trying to compensate for something--either a deficient story or a deficient vocabulary.) Sure, there are some moments of idiocy whe...more
Jini
Jun 22, 2008 Jini rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone wanting sappy vampire chick lit
Recommended to Jini by: amazon's "other customers who bought X also bought Y
I need some fluff to decompress after a long day of work and school. This kind of fits the bill. The first in a series, it's already got quite a lot of backstory that I feel I've missed, but it's still kind of fun. Glory, a 400yo vampire decides to give up the Vegas showgirl life and move to Houston to open up a 24-hour consignment shop - which, of course, is instantly a hit. Plus, she's juggling two super sexy men, a dog that communicates telepathically, and a rogue vampire hunter. And I'm only...more
Karen
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Kelly
It took me an age to get through this book. I spebt a whole week dodging it. But finally buckled down to finish this.

It started out promising, but I didn't see a running plot apart from moving to Austin to open a vintage fashion shop, then it sneaked it, then walked out the back door only to reappear dozens of pages later. It was like the author was trying to focus on Glory's life rather than the storyline. It was way too long and could have done with editing things out, many scenes that didn't...more
t'irla ~The Bookslayer~ t'irla's Talk Book Blog
Fun and wild romp through the world of Glory St Clair!

Description:

at - did you think all vamps were pale, thin and brooding? Don't I wish.

Gloriana St. Clair is an eternally "full-figured" vampire-she just happened to be bloating when a sexy Scotsman sank his teeth into her. She and said Scot- Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, aka Jeremy Blade-have been on and off again for centuries, currently off. A couple hundred years has taught them how to press each other's buttons-in good ways and bad.

Glory's...more
Wendi
Aug 21, 2008 Wendi rated it 1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Danielle
I bought this trash because it was in the 75% off bargin bin at Books-A-Million and I can never pass up a 75% off bargin bin at a book store. I absolutely have to buy something. Books that cheap, it's like crack cocaine.

Well, it's a good thing I didn't spend any more money on this book. I think even the $3.97 was too much. The writing wasn't bad but the rest of the book was just...trash. There's just no other way to put it.

I guess if you like romance novels this might be a fun book for you to...more
Liz
I actually bought and read this when it first came out. Apparently at that point it made some sort of impression on me because I bought the second book in the series. However, as I picked it up a couple weeks ago, I realized I really only remembered the premise almost none of the plot point.

Gloriana St. Clair, now Glory used to be an actress at the Globe Theatre, then she met the vampire Jeremiah Campbell, now Jeremiah Blade. She wanted eternal life with him; to her eternal regret, she didn't kn...more
Laura
In Real Vampires Have Curves, plus sized vampire Glory St. Clair fights for her independence as a woman by opening up an antique store, fighting off the advances of both her ex-lover Blade and casanova Damian. The male vampires’ protective instincts kick into high gear when Westwood, a vampire hunter, starts making his presence known, and Glory becomes one of his future targets.

I have a lot of things to say about this book, and unfortunately, most of them aren’t positive. Here’s the good-bad-u...more
Amber  Read
I found out about this series from some of the lovely ladies on our Facebook page and I couldn't be more happy about it. This book was great and I can't wait to read more from this series. If you guys haven't read it yet, then you definitely need too.

Glory is a vampire that's just trying to live her life. She's working and trying to figure out her love life. She just moved to Austin, Texas and she is starting a new business. Just your regular woman. Except for the fact that someone is trying to...more
Jess
I've heard so many great things about this author, so I was so happy when I saw this one just sitting on my library shelf. I love the pnr genre, and one of my favorite subsets is the funny/lighthearted ones. Glory is a plus-size vampire and is grousing about her on again off again vampire boyfriend (Blade) for the majority of this book. She is moving on with her life and starting a new business in Austin, and he doesn't want her on her own because of a vampire hunter that's in that area. Glory,...more
Katie(babs)
Gerry Bartlett broke the mold when she came up with Glory St. Clair. Glory is a 500 years old plus vampire who has become a total modern girl. She is a "real" woman, meaning a size 12 and not a size 2 like most heroines found in romance whether they be historical, modern or paranormal. This first book in the Glory vampire series is funny, heartwarming and very erotic. It is also very refreshing to read about the potluck of characters that Glory surrounds herself with, including her creator and l...more
Melissa
I thought this story started out kind of slow. At first I didn't think I was even going to like it. Yet the farther into the book you go, the more you want to keep reading. It's really fun to watch Glory "live" and learn. She might be 400+ years old but she still has A LOT of learning to do. The main character is trying very hard to separate herself from the man who changed her into a vampire, it's like you're watching her fall out of love only to keep falling in to it again, like an old married...more
Bronwyn Rykiert
For me something was lacking in this story, maybe it is because I did not really take to Glory St Clair who has been a vampire for a few centuries but refuses to embrace the new skills she acquired - such as the ability to heal wounds and to change shape. She also has her maker who cares for her but it a bit arrogant (as are most male vampires) who she has an off on relationship with. In this story I don't feel that I chance to get to know Blade very well.

I didn't really enjoy the storyline eith...more
Anita
This is a contemporary fantasy with a chick-lit tone, which I generally like. I finished it, but never once felt any enthusiasm for the book as I read. I think one of the the problems was a lack of character development by the author. The first half of the book introduced a new character every couple pages, so there was never any time spent getting to know each of them.

Basic idea: Female vamp (Glory) moves to Austin and opens a vintage store, only there's a nasty vampire hunter around that's at...more
Roberta
This is a real who-done-it, fashionista, murder mystery, and love story all rolled into one.

Glory St. Claire and Jerimiah (Jerry) are both vampires and the two main characters in the book. They are also on/off again lovers and Jerry was Glory's makers. The book takes place in Austin, TX and there is a vampire hunter on the loose. While everyone knows who he is, there are other vampire deaths taking place and the book is a series of events trying to find who killed who. I guessed the wrong person...more
Kelly
Being a huge Sookie fan, I found the first Glory book to be a fabulous, fun read. I've read some of the critiques here and some of them have merit but I have this thing for people who complain about books not being very realistic in this genre. Um, we're talking about Vampires and talking dogs and shape shifters. The read is for fun. It made me smile and made me laugh out loud and kept me turning the pages. For all those reasons, it not only gets a full 5 stars from me but I will be going out th...more
Kathy Hiester
This is book one in the series. Wildly entertaining. One of the best vampire romance novels I've read in recent history. Glory, our heroin, has been a vampire for a very very long time. She was turned by the love of her life, Jeremiah, who has an on-again off-again relationship. She decided to move to Austin and open up a vintage clothing store when the killings start. A hunter is out to kill as many vampires as possible and wear their fangs as a badge of honor. Glory learns to get in touch with...more
Manda
Jan 29, 2009 Manda rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: mature readers
Shelves: paranormal
Nothing better than a book about vampires protecting the incredible interesting (and long) lives! This steamy book is a real page turner that will leave you wanting more. Glory is pursued by her on again/off again lover (and maker) the handsome (and Scottish) Jeremy Blade. His only goal? To protect Glory, not by her choice. Blade friend,the wealthy (and Italian) Damian, puts the move on Glory. Between two sexy vampires and a crazy billionaire hunter bent on killing Glory, how will she ever pull...more
Jessica
I;m very conflicted about what to say about this book. on the one hand...i actually made it through (which these days is in itself a rarity)and there was nothing that made me hate it. on the other hand...there was nothing in it that made me like it either. the narrative was largely insipid and pointless. at least half of it could have been cut out with no damage to the overall read. the inner dialogue was a little annoying the heroine (a bit of a stretch of the term in this case) is constantly b...more
Sophia
I was in the mood for a lighter style Urban Fantasy and so I picked up this one off my pile. I enjoy humor in my vampire stories and also creative quirks to the worldbuilding which this one offered. It did its job of amusing me and getting a laugh out of me now and then, but the main character was a bit vacillating for my taste.

Glory St. Clair both appealed to me and drove me nuts. She is the main character and the story is entirely from her perspective. She was a cute and perky vampire who had...more
Alexa
I have to admit that I almost gave up on this book, but I am really glad I didn't. It takes a little while to get started mostly because the main character, Glory, is soooooooo annoying that it is almost painful. For being an immortal creature of the night, she really is outrageously weak. For example, she doesn't know how to use many of her powers even though she has been vampire for centuries, she depends on men to take care of her, and she lets the two most prominent men in her life, Blade an...more
Nícky
Glory me ha recordado a Betsy, pero sin embargo Blade no le llega a Sinclair ni a la suela de los zapatos. La verdad es que esta protagonista me ha puesto de los nervios, me han dado ganas de darle una patada en los huevos a Damián varias veces y del resto... bueno, personajes secundarios que aparecen y desaparecen y a los que no acabas de coger cariño. Flojo.
Amber
I read the first couple of books in this series years ago then I loaned the books to a friend of mine and didn't get them back until a few days ago ... I have been enjoying reading the first few books again and finishing off the rest of the series in order as a warning to new readers of this series I highly suggest that you make a run to the grocery store before sinking your teeth into this series as you will lose your mind craving twinkies and cheetos ... I now can say that I have a box of twin...more
Kim
Size 16 is not plus sized,nor do big tits make it so either. So not my cup of tea. Too bodice rippy for me, and weak storyline. I felt no sympathy for any character and I wanted to stake the main character myself. Only read it 'cause a friend told me they thought I would like it and they are normally right.
Tabby
May 20, 2008 Tabby rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Anyone
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Nixie
Apr 19, 2014 Nixie rated it 1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: no one
Real Vampires Have Curves... but are so filled with self-loathing they can't shut up about their weight even though they were born in a time and culture where heavier woman were -shock- desirable!
You know how so many of the women you know are constantly talking about their weight and trying to loose some of it?
That diatribe is this character's non-stop self talk.
She hasn't come to accept her body either even after over four hundred years in an ever young twenty-something big-breasted frame that...more
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153733
Gerry Bartlett figures that vampires are pretty much like everyone else except for the liquid diet.

Eternity or Mexican food? Tough call.

Then there’s the whole problem with sunlight. When would she treasure hunt for her own antiques business on the historic Strand in Galveston ?

Gerry’s a native Texan and lives halfway between Houston and Galveston with her own wonder dog, a Bedlington Terrier na...more
More about Gerry Bartlett...
Real Vampires Live Large (Glory St. Clair, #2) Real Vampires Get Lucky (Glory St. Clair, #3) Real Vampires Don't Diet (Glory St. Clair, #4) Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs (Glory St. Clair, #5) Real Vampires Have More to Love (Glory St. Clair, #6)

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