هنر عشق ورزیدن
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هنر عشق ورزیدن

3.99 of 5 stars 3.99  ·  rating details  ·  17,794 ratings  ·  642 reviews
=The Art of Loving

The renowned psychoanalyst Erich Fromm has helped millions achieve rich, productive lives by developing their hidden capacities for love. In this astonishly frank and candid book, he explores the ways in which this extraordinary emotion can alter the whole course of life.

Most of us are unable to develop our capacities for love on the only level that real

Paperback, 235 pages
Published 2008 by انتشارات مروارید (first published 1956)
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John Kulm
I went through this book again partly because it has so much to say, and partly because I wanted to re-read Erich Fromm's instructions on how to meditate. I like the way he puts it, on pages 101 - 102:

“If I am attached to another person because I cannot stand on my own feet, he or she may be a lifesaver, but the relationship is not one of love. Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love. Anyone who tries to be alone with himself will discover how difficult i...more
My goodness, what is this dude smoking?

Someone close to me made me aware that this book existed, and so out of curiosity, I decided to borrow the book from the library and read it. It took me 2 days, and really, I hated every bit of this book, for several reasons that I will delineate below. But first, let me tell you what this book is about.

Obviously, this is non-fiction. This is written by Erich Fromm, a prominent German social psychologist who happens to belong to the Frankfurt School, also k...more
One of my favorite books. I've read it three times now, and i'll probably read it several more times in the future. I really appreciate what a "down to earth" way of dealing with his subject matter that Fromm has. He recognizes that no book can make you a more loving person, but he does recognize that by calling our attention to the myriad ways that we misunderstand, and deceive ourselves about love, we can begin to approach a better understanding of what it might take to become better lovers. H...more
This book confirms the idea that reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life, a better one indeed.

Reading the Art of love awoke inside me some long dormant craving to approach the subject matter of love in a Tangible and Lucid way as Fromm did.

In this book, Fromm asserts that love is essential to human flourishing and survival "love is the answer to the problem of human existence" he discusses frankly and candidly his theory of love in all its aspects: not only romantic love, so steeped...more
Las reflexiones de Fromm sobre el amor, la teoría del amor, son interesantes aunque obvias muchas de ellas. No obstante, la parte de la desintegración del amor en la sociedad capitalista occidental me ha hecho reflexionar, contiene ideas muy interesantes. Lo bueno de Fromm es que, a pesar de ser filósofo (como diría Marx) muestra propuestas de acción, y su lenguaje es sencillo e instructivo, lejos del elitismo y la pedantería de otros autores.
Bistra Ivanova
Изключително приятно ме изненада тази книга за Любовта, писана към края на Духовната вълна на Любовта. Тя е тънка, но богата; говори просто, но задълбочено; разглежда Еволюцията, за да обясни нещата, доколкото му е възможно на автора. ("Ударението е сложено върху разбирането, че историята на религията е отражение на човешката духовна еволюция", пише в анотацията на друга книга на Фром, "Догмата за Христос", йей!)

Фром, изглежда, е еклектичен учен, което само може да ме радва - умело използва ист...more
Also posted on my blog: i'mbookedindefinitely

There's a lot of grain of truth in this theorizing and objectification of love that Erich Fromm successfully wrote. Let me quote with liberality such instances more so for the inherent beauty and magnificence of such statements.

One page xix
"It (book) wants to convince the reader that all his attempts at love are bound to fail; unless he tries most actively develop his total personality so as to achieve a productive orientation."

On page 22
"Love is an...more
More than just an average self-help book on (spoiler: you must love yourself and develop the capacity to love before you can love others), Fromm takes a socio-political-historical-psychoanalytic approach to the topic of Love. There are times when it does get a bit theoretical (which is a PLUS for me because I am a nerd), but the book is very much accessible. A friend recently commented that if more people read this book, there would be a lot more happy, functional relationships. True dat.

This bo...more
If my mate George hadn’t recommended this book there is no chance at all that I would have read it. I’ve a strange relationship with LOVE – in that I think it is grossly overrated by our society. You could get away with thinking that if you were not ‘in love’ in our society then there is something terribly wrong with you. Never mind that the notion of being constantly ‘in love’ – in a world where this is all too frequently confused with being infatuated – would be a nightmare not worth living.

I underestimated the power of this rather unsophisticated looking book. I have no idea who Fromm is but I imagine since he’s a German Jew and lived through both world wars that he’s a pretty insightful scholar. He writes so eloquently about what love is and what is it not that I felt enlightened with every sentence. Actually, I was imagining myself as bell hooks reading it for the first time in preparation to write All About Love. So many of her premises are grounded in Fromm’s theories and I lo...more
Everyone should read this book. It's for people who are in or trying to be in a relationship, but it's really also for any person who wants to be a better world citizen, in terms of how we relate to everyone (significant other, family, friends, strangers, etc.). The premise is really that today's modern/Western/Capitalistic society does not allow for people to truly practice the "art of love"--that being the art of loving a significant other or of brotherly love or neighborly love. That is why s...more
Aug 10, 2014 Sarah rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Sarah by: Jackie
Shelves: 2009
This book is absolutely unbelievable. It's no surprise it's considered one of the most important books of the 1960s. Erich Fromm's ideas about what "loving" means are mind-blowing, and bring to the forefront every problem I've witnessed in myself, and in others, in relationships.
It's not a stupid self-help guide on how to love people or something cheesy like that. It's an honest look at how people's perceptions of love and loving have changed. And it's sensational.
нет сил молчать! это потрясающая книга.
с каждой прочитанной страницей становятся еще понятнее природа человеческих отношений, мотивации окружающих, проясняются свои достоинства и места, на которые стоит обратить внимание. прочитав главу о материнской любви (актуальное не только для родителей), каждый человек хотя бы на некоторое время убьет в себе мещанина - лишь мимолетное счастье даст новая дизайнерская игрушка, но самое главное для любого живого существа это любовь. об этом нельзя забывать. и...more
Have you ever held an idea so closely to the sides of your skull, you could never find the words or phrases to articulate it until someone stopped by and presented you with exactly what you had been searching for? Erich Fromm did this for me in the context of mature and fulfilling relationships. In the words of a good friend "more people should realized that 'serious' philosophers devote think about such things" - 'such things' being how interpersonal relationships are the bedrock of most human...more
My edition of this work (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1956) was part of the World Perspectives series, which "endeavors to show that the conception of wholeness, unity, organism is a higher and more concrete conception than that of matter and energy... For the principle of life consists in the tension which connects the spirit with the realm of matter" and that "Knowledge, as it is shown in these books, no longer consists in a manipulation of man and nature as opposite forces, nor in the red...more
Max Levitin
Nov 26, 2009 Max Levitin rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Max by: chiefs girlfriend
Вот такие, важные и великие книги, почему-то всегда прочитываются чуть позже чем нужно. В то же время, вызывая тем самым большую игру дум соотношения прожитого и пережитого с тем, что провозглашает и открывает на этот счёт автор. Эта книга о том, что любовь обречена на неудачу, если каждый из субъектов не стремится более активно развивать свою личность в целом, не ставя себя в зависимость от связующего чувства. Что истинная любовь не возможна без строгой дисциплины и повсеместной работы над окру...more
Najla Hammad

إذا أحببنا شخصاً فإننا نحترمه.. إن معنى الإحترام هنا هو القدرة على تقبل من نحب كما هو، تقبل ذاته الفريدة عنا. أريد من الشخص الذي أحبه أن يزدهر وينمو من أجله هو، لا من أجلي أنا.. أريد أن أحبه كما هو، وأن أشعر به كما يريد أن يكون، وليس كما أريد أن يكون.
إذا أحببنا شخصاً فإننا نحترم شخصيته المستقلة، الإحترام يكون مبنياً على أسس الحرية. "الحب هو وليد الحرية"، وليس وليد السيطرة*.ه
The Art of Loving kicks off with some very valuable insights regarding love in modern Western culture. Fromm points out that we have altogether stopped viewing love as an act of will, but instead now see it as something that just effortlessly happens once we stumble upon the right person. He also ruminates on why relationships now tend to resemble business arrangements, rather than reflecting the traditional, self-sacrificing notion of marriage. When it comes to demonstrating the folly of such "...more
На мою думку, ця книга повинна бути прочитаною кожною свідомою людиною. Людиною, яка живе свідомим, не споживацьким життям.
Це не чергова книга про любов з практичними порадами, як завоювати "його" чи "її" та знайти свою другу половину. Книга дуже глибоко аналізує різні види любові: братерська, материнська, еротична любов, любов до бога та до себе. І саме здатність людини усвідомити та прийняти ці різні види любові допоможе їй гармонійно реалізуватись у житті.
Ключові ідеї стосовно любові:

“Любов ц...more
hanan al-herbish al-herbish
الفن حُبّ .. و الحبّ فن في الحياة ..

و لكي يصبح الإنسان فناناً عظيماً عليه أن يتعهّد فنّه بالرعاية و الاهتمام .. و يتحلّى من أجله بالصبر .. و التركيز .. مكرساً ذاته من أجل حبه .

إن أعمق حاجة من حاجات الإنسان .. هو كسر حدّة الشعور بالإنفصال .. و التوق إلى التوحّد .

" الحب " هو أحد الحلول الُمثلى .. لكي يحقق الإنسان حاجته ..

أن تكون مُحباًً معناه : أن ترعى من تحبه و تهتّم به .. أن تكون مسئولاً في تلبية إحتياجاته النفسية و مطالبه .. سواء عبّر عنها أم لم يٍعبّر .. و ألا تتحول هذه المسئولية إلى " هيمنة "...more
ماهرعبد الرحمن
ستكون قراءة هذا الكتاب تجربة مليئة بخيبة الأمل لأى إنسان يتوقع تعليمات سهلة فى فن الحب. هكذا يصدر إريك فروم كتابه فكل الناس يحتاجون إلى الحب، إلى حب أنفسهم وإلى حب آخرين. وفى البداية هناك بعض الأفكار الشائعة والتى يحاول الكتاب مناقشتها، منها مثلا أن المشكلة الشائعة هى أن الناس دائما تفكر فى الشخص الذى يحبها ويهتم بها وتحاول أن تجذب هذا الشخص بالطرق المعروفة من أول أن يحقق الشخص نجاحا ما أو ثراء ما، إلى أن يحاول أن يكون جذابا جنسيا للطرف الآخر (وتلك عادة هى وصايا مدربى التنمية البشرية التعساء) إل...more
Definitely showcases the popularization of Frankfurt School Marxism and Social Psychology. It reads more like a self-help book than anything philosophical. He talks in platitudes, and vague generalizations. Let's just put it this way, Fromm is a genius, he says all the right things, I enjoyed reading this text, learned a ton, but in a post-modern milieu obsessed with the latest fads - radical chicism (and such miscellaneous bullshit one can make a career out of in the academy these days)... From...more
Erik Graff
Dec 13, 2013 Erik Graff rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: all adolescents
Recommended to Erik by: Betsy and Edward Erickson
Shelves: psychology
Although I'd avoided most of the "popular" books in high school (The History of Torture being the best seller in the Maine Township H.S. South bookstore), I made an exception for this one because I had heard that Fromm was some kind of socialist--and, heck, I was agonizing a lot about one kind of troublous love in those days. I'm glad to have made the exception because this was useful introduction to the complexity of language, in this case as regards the use of the English word "love". Furtherm...more
Philip Pernice
This is no step by step guide to learning to love the people you feel love for; Fromm is talking about repositioning ones point of view from individual love to universal love. His philosophy encourages one to love all, to position oneself as love itself. If I find my child, my wife, my family and friends are worthy of love so I should find in their humanity all humanity. Here love is an " orientation...which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole." Fromm proposes love is...more
Duarte Valente
This book is full of smart, well observed and refreshing views about Love.
One of the aspects that Fromm talks about in the section about self-love, are the differences that exist between respecting yourself enough, by understanding the way you behave and why, and selfishness, which is not so frequent as one might think. Another well observed fact Fromm mentions is that Love is something we try to attract to ourselves by making us look attractive in the current social standards instead of giving...more
Erich Fromm
This book is the utmost example of horse shit. Listen to me all you existentialists out there trying to publish stuff on Goodreads in some attempt of immortality because you're not different from the rest; you have a common place mind. No matter how much you deny in dire despair, it is so true. Otherwise Goodreads is not your playground.

And now to business, I see, I assume here some role of a near spiritual leader almost like Gandhi in context with a psychoanalyst background. But really, how nar...more
My mother purchased this book claiming that I had a dearth of spirituality happening. Even though fundamentally I connect more spiritually than any member of my clan, I knew series of negative experiences had peppered my outlook. The title itself invited criticism until I started reading. Before my flight to Germany, I began this perennial classic.

Fromm constructed his psychoanalysis in a way that avoided elitist tendencies and informed greatly my understanding about development and growth. I s...more
Oct 12, 2012 soul rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: no one
Прекалено много суха теория, прекалено много отвлечени постановки, прекалено много място за Бог.
Покрай нещата, които категорично се карат с убежденията и начина ми на мислене, има и единични интересни моменти (доминиращите мъжки/женски черти у родителите и отражението им в развитието на детето, псевдо и невротичните любови), но са толкова малко, че не си струват загубата на време. Същата информация я има и на други места в много по-спретнат вид.

В нехаресването ми вероятно има и доста личен елеме...more
Reading Fromm from "Scape From Freedom" to "The Art of Loving" give a wide dimension of life and human being in modern time. It doesn't mean one would reach a courageously point of view…Fromm recapitulate and complement the theoretical principles of human nature, (Escape from Freedom and Man for Himself). He presents love as a skill that can be taught and developed. He rejects the idea of loving as something magical and mysterious that cannot be analyzed and explained. He is skeptic about popula...more
"The Art of Loving" is a masterful work by Erich Fromm. His broad-minded scope on the human condition is such a breath of fresh air, especially in today's society. I really enjoyed how he linked capitalism to the failure to love, which is extremely true. In fact, I would like to expound upon the notion that capitalism kills (and is currently killing) love.

I've always been vehemently against polyamory and open relationships. After reading "The Art of Loving," it suddenly dawned on me that those t...more
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my opinion 7 115 May 28, 2014 07:38PM  
  • Love and Will
  • On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy
  • Toward a Psychology of Being
  • Love's Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy
  • Modern Man in Search of a Soul
  • The Neurotic Personality of Our Time
  • Games People Play
  • The Politics of Experience/The Bird of Paradise
  • Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love
  • Understanding Human Nature
  • The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting
  • Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche
  • Psychoanalytic Diagnosis: Understanding Personality Structure in the Clinical Process
  • Eros and Civilization: A Philosophical Inquiry into Freud
  • Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience
Erich Fromm was a German-born U.S. psychoanalyst and social philosopher who explored the interaction between psychology and society. His works include The Art of Loving; Love, Sexuality, and Matriarchy; and Man for Himself. He died in 1980.

Fromm's theory is a rather unique blend of Freud and Marx. Freud, of course, emphasized the unconscious, biological drives, repression, and so on. In other word...more
More about Erich Fromm...
Escape from Freedom To Have or to Be? The Nature of the Psyche The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness The Art of Being Man for Himself: An Inquiry into the Psychology of Ethics

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“Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.” 1464 likes
“Love isn't something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice.” 314 likes
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