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Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication

4.22  ·  Rating Details ·  1,245 Ratings  ·  191 Reviews
Over the past thirty-five years, Between Parent and Child has helped millions of parents around the world strengthen their relationships with their children. Written by renowned psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott, this revolutionary book offered a straightforward prescription for empathetic yet disciplined child rearing and introduced new communication techniques that would chan ...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published July 22nd 2003 by Harmony (first published 1965)
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K
Oct 05, 2010 K rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Between Parent and Haim Ginott

Khaya: Dr. Ginott, I have so many feelings about your book. It’s hard for me to sort them all out.

Dr. Ginott: You’re confused and you don’t know where to start. You feel many different things.

Khaya: Yes! I have friends who swear by you and your methods. They think you’re great.

Dr. Ginott: Khaya, evaluative words like “great” do not represent helpful praise. Praise should deal only with the person’s efforts and accomplishments, not with his character and personality
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Viet Hung Nguyen
Một cuốn sách mà khi đọc tôi phải liên tục highlight, đại khái là vàng khè cả cuốn sách. Tôi có ý định chia sẻ các ghi chú sau khi đọc. Nhưng sau khi bôi vàng cả cuốn sách thì tôi từ bỏ ý định này. Bởi vì nếu làm như vậy thì coi như chia sẻ toàn bộ cuốn sách mất rồi. Tôi chỉ có một đề nghị đến các ba, mẹ rằng hãy đọc cuốn sách này để có thể hướng dẫn con trẻ lớn lên vững vàng, với lòng tự trọng, sự tự tin và tình yêu thương thấm đẫm. Đây là cuốn sách làm cha, mẹ thứ hai mà tôi đề nghị must-read ...more
Jen
Mar 13, 2012 Jen rated it it was amazing
Ok. First of all, I AM NOT PREGNANT. (Nor do I have children.)

Good, glad we cleared that up. So why am I reading a parenting book, you might ask? Well, one of my main self-improvement goals for the past few years has been to improve my communication skills, especially with relation to conflict resolution and emotions.

This book was mentioned in an advice column that has been entertaining me recently ("Dear Prudence" from Slate Magazine). The concepts mentioned in the book intrigued me because the
...more
Summer
Sep 20, 2008 Summer rated it it was amazing
No parenting book is perfect, but I can honestly say that this is the first book that has helped me change my behavior in less than a week of reading it. It deals more with psychology and understanding the basis of why we should treat our children (and all people) a certain way. I think the behavior change came very naturally because I understood my daughter's emotions so much better within a few chapters. This book comes highly recommended and is helping me in more relationships than one.

I just
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Jared
Jun 04, 2008 Jared rated it liked it
Haim Ginott (wish I knew how to pronounce his name) was a mentor to John Gottman (Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child) and Adele Faber (How to Talk so Kids will Listen...) and they drew heavily from his early work. The book is full of basic parenting gems, but I didn't necessarily agree with all of his suggestions and some of his examples weren't very realistic. I would recommend the Gottman and Faber & Mazlish books first.
Vivcaudle
Jun 10, 2008 Vivcaudle rated it it was amazing
This book I read in one of my child/family classes in college. This is my favorite of all the texts I read in this area of study. I highly recommend this book to every parent! Easy and fast reading.
Marie
Nov 20, 2008 Marie rated it liked it
Recommended to Marie by: Rick
This book had some good points, but it was quite preachy, and used "should" language a lot. It is the predecessor to book: Raising an Emotionally Intellegent Child. It was the reason they decided to do all the research for that book. It has good points on how to relate with your children. Some of it seems somewhat out of touch. Some of it does not fit with my value system (for example, how permissive we should be with our children about premarital sex.) And I know that if I was in the middle of ...more
Betty
Apr 27, 2008 Betty rated it really liked it
Reading a book on parenting is the easy part but applying its principles is quite another. Yet with this book, I could start applying Ginotte's techniques from the moment I started reading and I found them to be extremely effective. I now find it easier to communicate with my two-year old and in particular, to handle her emotional outbursts in a more mature and empathetic way. The book is full of practical advice and real-life examples and is very easy to read, especially for an exhausted mom. B ...more
Krista
Jun 30, 2010 Krista rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting, education
Very, VERY thought-provoking. Even when I disagreed with Dr. Ginott (whose last name I'd love to know how to pronounce), it was generally over the implementation of a principle, not the principle itself. His approach kicks the casual, reactionary, parent-child dialogue rather out the door, and it took me a little while to really understand what he was saying.

The biggest concept I took from his book is summarized like this: parents provide physical first aid for physical injuries, but we *also* n
...more
Toni
Sep 09, 2009 Toni rated it did not like it
I had high expectations for this book. I studied Dr. Ginott's ideas as they pertained to education, and agreed generally w/ his approach when it came to the teachers/student relationship.
The first few chapters were fine. I agree that we should praise children for their efforts; not the finished product, I agree that children tune us out when we sermonize or lecture and that anyone is incapable of truly communicating when emotions are highly charged. Ginott also talks about the importance of kid
...more
Kelli
Nov 04, 2009 Kelli rated it really liked it
This book was eye-opening to me. The author suggests several ways to deal with your children. For example,
1)Say what you see, like, "You must've had a hard day," instead of criticizing them for being in a sullen mood. By simply stating how they're feeling, it diminishes the intensity of the feeling. They see that you understand which helps them deal with the emotion.
2)He also says you should never comment on character traits (even positive ones), but always on actions. So, instead of saying, "Yo
...more
C
Aug 12, 2008 C rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
I think Dr. Ginott's work is very wonderful. This book, however, is dated. The gender and sexuality components are simply too 1950s and are beyond not useful and into potentially harmful, in my opinion. So I'm recycling this book. BUT I highly recommend "Liberated Parents, Liberated Children," also in my book list, which is early 1960s, I think, and written by some of the mothers in one Ginott's groups. That one is a little dated, but not too bad, and it retains a lot of the great things Ginott ...more
Heather Clark
Feb 04, 2010 Heather Clark marked it as to-read
Shelves: parenting
3. Between Parent and Child: Yes, it's dated, but I love, love, love Haim Ginott. Here's a famous quote of his, that I continue to use: “If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.” It's a classic, more suited for older kids (over 3 or so) than younger ones. Here's one of a bajillion review/summaries out there: "Perhaps Haim’s genius was helping parents capture the meaning behind children’s words and deeds. There is nothing quite as sooth ...more
Roslyn Ross
Jul 07, 2014 Roslyn Ross rated it it was amazing
Excellent. I would call this book, "The NVC of 1965." Which is to say--this book is great to read as a "where it all began" or as more of the same subject if you want something to read on parent-child communication and authentic relationships, but otherwise, skip this book and read Parent Effectiveness Training and Nonviolent Communication. Definitely read Harmful to Minors instead of his ideas on child sexuality.

The whole discipline chapter and parts of the anxieties chapter I find to be off, c
...more
Katies_Faves
Dec 21, 2007 Katies_Faves rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
I have often wondered what is the "right way" to respond to a child who is misbehaving and/or upset. Dr. Ginott answered my questions -- plus the many more that comes with having a child.

Dr. Ginott teaches us how to communicate not just with our children, but also with other adults. This has been a very eye-opening experience to learn that the way I communicate with others, especially those who are closest to me, may not be the most effective. Dr. Ginott has a great way of teaching through exam
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Chalida
Liam's preschool's book club book. Definitely eye-opening and I couldn't help reflecting on how my parents didn't communicate with me well growing up. It has already made me talk to Liam differently not to mention my students. While it sounds easy, in the moment, it's sometimes hard to remember. Reflecting your child's feelings is key. Acknowledging their wishes and desires is a must. Every phrase we use has to be in the name of humanity and creating a human being so no judging, criticizing or n ...more
Katie Ziegler (Life Between Words)
Alright, so I needed to adjust my expectations of this book a little bit. I found that it didn't end up really helping me figure out my parenting role as "disciplinarian" but was *very* helpful at guiding how to have conversations. To be emotionally intelligent with our children and to validate their feelings without validating their behavior. So that's what I took away from it: how to talk to my kids. But I didn't find it so helpful in terms of curbing, or stopping unwanted behavior, so that's ...more
Justė
Jul 07, 2016 Justė rated it it was ok
Patiko, atrodo, elementarus pasiūlymas tiesiog paprastai reaguoti į vaiko jausmus - juos įvardinti, atspindėti. Tas tinka ir bendravime su suaugusiais. Knyga maloniai ir lengvai skaitėsi iki kol priėjau prie lytinio vaikų švietimo. Pasiūlymai skatinti vaikų lytinius vaidmenis: neskatinti mergaitės užsiimti agresyviu sportu ar berniuko švelnumo, mokyti darbų pagal lytis. Taip pat, mergaitiškas berniukas priskirtas prie turinčio problemų, kurias jau reikėtų spręsti su specialistais. Tėvų vaidmenys ...more
John Rossitto
Jan 16, 2014 John Rossitto rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2014-books
This book is among the classics and for good reason. Dr. Ginott provided insight on respecting a child as a person and training the child to deal with their own emotions. I have gained insight on responding not only to children but also adults in a more responsive way. I am looking forward to making use of with of his processes in how I respond to my child and also my wife. Short read and powerful in content.
Ann Marie
There were very interesting and useful parts to this book, particularly first 5 chapters or so. However, as the edition I read was published in 1965, the latter half of the book was very outdated in terms of male-female roles and expectations in society, as well as the author's perceptions about sexual identity and growth.
UmLayla
Aug 27, 2014 UmLayla rated it it was amazing
This is a recent edition of an older book and I've also read his book to teachers. I very much appreciated his approach to communication and really needed his perspective. I think it is a fantastic read.
Danny
Feb 28, 2008 Danny rated it really liked it
Shelves: family-parenting
I had to read this in college. It is based on positive, goal based child rearing. The focus in on how to communicate effectively to children.
Since Dr. Ginott passed away, the new editor is Dr. H. Wallace Goddard, who is LDS and is a regular contributor to Meridian Magazine.
Dena
Jun 10, 2013 Dena rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nonfiction
This is one of the best parenting/psychology books out there. He's an icon. Also worth reading: How to Talk So Children Will Listen and Listen So Children Will Talk b/c authors are students of Ginott's philosophy.
Esraa
Apr 19, 2014 Esraa rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
الكتاب جا في وقته
ممتع جدا وفيه امثلة حلوة اوي
وعلى قد ما الكتاب حلو على قد ما حسيت قد ايه التربية صعبة اوي لاننا م عشان نربي لازم الاول نربي نفسنا ونتعود على الاسلوب الراقي في التعامل مع ولادنا
Cindy
Apr 04, 2011 Cindy rated it it was amazing
With one small exception I am really liking this book, and wishing I'd read it 22 years ago!
Fatma Akyürek Aytekin
Okuduğum en iyi ebeveyn kitabı dersem abartmış olmam sanırım.
https://yagizlahayat.wordpress.com/20...
Ruxandra Jurcut
Jan 04, 2016 Ruxandra Jurcut rated it it was amazing
Excellent, very thoughtful and realistic book on parent-children dialogue. Loved it.
Divya Dar
Jan 26, 2017 Divya Dar rated it really liked it
I am not sure if I can practice what has been given in the book, but the way it is written for sure made me try it.
Marissa
Feb 27, 2017 Marissa rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
Before I begin, I'll state that this review is for the 2003 revised/updated edition. From perusing comments about the 1965 version, it seems that it's necessary to seek out the updated edition.

There's an advice columnist I like who's constantly referring parents to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, which I've read and enjoyed. But that book, while helpful, had some lacunae that ultimately made it fall short for me. I didn't feel it addressed imperfectly verbal child
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Islam Hamadeh إسلام حماده
كتاب جيد مقارنة بآخر كتاب عربي قرأته في التربية مؤخرا !!ه
هناك الكثير مما يمكن الاستفاده منه في ظل الكتب العربية التي لم ترتق بعد في كتب تربية الأطفال .., مع غض النظر عن فلسفة الكتاب القائمة على أن الأخلاقيات تُراجع على ضوء الوقائع !ه
مما يعني أن الأربع نجمات غضت النظر عن بعض أفكار الكاتب التي من البديهي أننا نختلف عليها بحكم المرجعيات الدينية المختلفة ..., والأخلاقية .. والمتركزة على الأغلب في الفصول الأخيرة ..,

بعض مما اقتبسته من الكتاب :-

في الوقت الذي نحن فيه لسنا أحرارا لكي نختار مشاعرنا الت
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Haim G. Ginott was a teacher, child psychologist and psychotherapist, who worked with children and parents. He pioneered techniques for conversing with children that are still taught today. His book, Between Parent and Child,. stayed on the best seller list for over a year and is still popular today.
More about Haim G. Ginott...

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“What do we say to a guest who forgets her umbrella? Do we run after her and say "What is the matter with you? Every time you come to visit you forget something. If it's not one thing it's another. Why can't you be like your sister? When she comes to visit, she knows how to behave. You're forty-four years old! Will you never learn? I'm not a slave to pick up after you! I bet you'd forget your head if it weren't attached to your shoulders." That's not what we say to a guest. We say "Here's your umbrella, Alice," without adding "scatterbrain."
Parents need to learn to respond to their children as they do to guests.”
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“Parental criticism is unhelpful. It creates anger and resentment. Even worse, children who are regularly criticized learn to condemn themselves and others. They learn to doubt their own worth and to belittle the value of others. They learn to suspect people and to expect personal doom.” 12 likes
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