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26th out of 196 books
—
262 voters
Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
Over the past thirty-five years, Between Parent and Child has helped millions of parents around the world strengthen their relationships with their children. Written by renowned psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott, this revolutionary book offered a straightforward prescription for empathetic yet disciplined child rearing and introduced new communication techniques that would chan...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published
July 22nd 2003
by Three Rivers Press
(first published 1965)
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This book I read in one of my child/family classes in college. This is my favorite of all the texts I read in this area of study. I highly recommend this book to every parent! Easy and fast reading.
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No parenting book is perfect, but I can honestly say that this is the first book that has helped me change my behavior in less than a week of reading it. It deals more with psychology and understanding the basis of why we should treat our children (and all people) a certain way. I think the behavior change came very naturally because I understood my daughter's emotions so much better within a few chapters. This book comes highly recommended and is helping me in more relationships than one.
I just...more
I just...more
I have often wondered what is the "right way" to respond to a child who is misbehaving and/or upset. Dr. Ginott answered my questions -- plus the many more that comes with having a child.
Dr. Ginott teaches us how to communicate not just with our children, but also with other adults. This has been a very eye-opening experience to learn that the way I communicate with others, especially those who are closest to me, may not be the most effective. Dr. Ginott has a great way of teaching through exam...more
Dr. Ginott teaches us how to communicate not just with our children, but also with other adults. This has been a very eye-opening experience to learn that the way I communicate with others, especially those who are closest to me, may not be the most effective. Dr. Ginott has a great way of teaching through exam...more
Reading a book on parenting is the easy part but applying its principles is quite another. Yet with this book, I could start applying Ginotte's techniques from the moment I started reading and I found them to be extremely effective. I now find it easier to communicate with my two-year old and in particular, to handle her emotional outbursts in a more mature and empathetic way. The book is full of practical advice and real-life examples and is very easy to read, especially for an exhausted mom. B...more
This book had some good points, but it was quite preachy, and used "should" language a lot. It is the predecessor to book: Raising an Emotionally Intellegent Child. It was the reason they decided to do all the research for that book. It has good points on how to relate with your children. Some of it seems somewhat out of touch. Some of it does not fit with my value system (for example, how permissive we should be with our children about premarital sex.) And I know that if I was in the middle of...more
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Best chapter was on the damage evaluative praise can do to children. It described, better than any other parenting book I've read, how to use not just descriptive statements, but statements that allow the child to come to his or her own evaluative conclusion. So then "praise" is a two step process. In the first step, the parent makes a statement such as "that book is very complicated" (external). The next step is the child's internal process, "the book is complicated, but I finished it so I must...more
This book was eye-opening to me. The author suggests several ways to deal with your children. For example,
1)Say what you see, like, "You must've had a hard day," instead of criticizing them for being in a sullen mood. By simply stating how they're feeling, it diminishes the intensity of the feeling. They see that you understand which helps them deal with the emotion.
2)He also says you should never comment on character traits (even positive ones), but always on actions. So, instead of saying, "Yo...more
1)Say what you see, like, "You must've had a hard day," instead of criticizing them for being in a sullen mood. By simply stating how they're feeling, it diminishes the intensity of the feeling. They see that you understand which helps them deal with the emotion.
2)He also says you should never comment on character traits (even positive ones), but always on actions. So, instead of saying, "Yo...more
Between Parent and Child is the best parenting book I've read so far. It begins with a statement to the effect of "Love is vital in parenting, but love is not enough. Parents need knowledge. You would never trust yourself to a surgeon who simply loved their job, but lacked the knowledge required in surgery. Parenting is at least as difficult as surgery."
Dr. Ginott's wisdom about children, parents, teachers, and people in general leaps from each page. He is particularly concerned with validating...more
Dr. Ginott's wisdom about children, parents, teachers, and people in general leaps from each page. He is particularly concerned with validating...more
Ok. First of all, I AM NOT PREGNANT. (Nor do I have children.)
Good, glad we cleared that up. So why am I reading a parenting book, you might ask? Well, one of my main self-improvement goals for the past few years has been to improve my communication skills, especially with relation to conflict resolution and emotions.
This book was mentioned in an advice column that has been entertaining me recently ("Dear Prudence" from Slate Magazine). The concepts mentioned in the book intrigued me because the...more
Good, glad we cleared that up. So why am I reading a parenting book, you might ask? Well, one of my main self-improvement goals for the past few years has been to improve my communication skills, especially with relation to conflict resolution and emotions.
This book was mentioned in an advice column that has been entertaining me recently ("Dear Prudence" from Slate Magazine). The concepts mentioned in the book intrigued me because the...more
A parent must have book! As a parent of two I highly recommend this book to help you come out of the parenting in the darkness feeling that you might be living with. Ginott presents a way to communicate with your children rather than what you might have been resorting to , screaming or just plain ignoring them and their bad behavior. A number of the ideas that are proposed in the book may seem simple to you and you will begin to wonder why you have forgotten to speak that way to your children. I...more
Oct 09, 2010
Khaya
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
professionallit,
readablenonfiction
Between Parent and Haim Ginott
Khaya: Dr. Ginott, I have so many feelings about your book. It’s hard for me to sort them all out.
Dr. Ginott: You’re confused and you don’t know where to start. You feel many different things.
Khaya: Yes! I have friends who swear by you and your methods. They think you’re great.
Dr. Ginott: Khaya, evaluative words like “great” do not represent helpful praise. Praise should deal only with the person’s efforts and accomplishments, not with his character and personality...more
Khaya: Dr. Ginott, I have so many feelings about your book. It’s hard for me to sort them all out.
Dr. Ginott: You’re confused and you don’t know where to start. You feel many different things.
Khaya: Yes! I have friends who swear by you and your methods. They think you’re great.
Dr. Ginott: Khaya, evaluative words like “great” do not represent helpful praise. Praise should deal only with the person’s efforts and accomplishments, not with his character and personality...more
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Haim Ginott (wish I knew how to pronounce his name) was a mentor to John Gottman (Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child) and Adele Faber (How to Talk so Kids will Listen...) and they drew heavily from his early work. The book is full of basic parenting gems, but I didn't necessarily agree with all of his suggestions and some of his examples weren't very realistic. I would recommend the Gottman and Faber & Mazlish books first.
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I had high expectations for this book. I studied Dr. Ginott's ideas as they pertained to education, and agreed generally w/ his approach when it came to the teachers/student relationship.
The first few chapters were fine. I agree that we should praise children for their efforts; not the finished product, I agree that children tune us out when we sermonize or lecture and that anyone is incapable of truly communicating when emotions are highly charged. Ginott also talks about the importance of kid...more
The first few chapters were fine. I agree that we should praise children for their efforts; not the finished product, I agree that children tune us out when we sermonize or lecture and that anyone is incapable of truly communicating when emotions are highly charged. Ginott also talks about the importance of kid...more
I never read touchy feely How-To books so I probably am the wrong person to review this style of book. Since kids don't come with a User Manual, I figured it was never a bad idea to let some experts learn me a few things about how not to talk to mine!
Revolutionary in 1965, the book allegedly has been updated, but still feels dated. Not so much in its content, but in its style. Some good lessons here about how not to be a complete dick as a parent - in fact, i am already able to survive annoying...more
Revolutionary in 1965, the book allegedly has been updated, but still feels dated. Not so much in its content, but in its style. Some good lessons here about how not to be a complete dick as a parent - in fact, i am already able to survive annoying...more
I had to read this in college. It is based on positive, goal based child rearing. The focus in on how to communicate effectively to children.
Since Dr. Ginott passed away, the new editor is Dr. H. Wallace Goddard, who is LDS and is a regular contributor to Meridian Magazine.
Since Dr. Ginott passed away, the new editor is Dr. H. Wallace Goddard, who is LDS and is a regular contributor to Meridian Magazine.
3. Between Parent and Child: Yes, it's dated, but I love, love, love Haim Ginott. Here's a famous quote of his, that I continue to use: “If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.” It's a classic, more suited for older kids (over 3 or so) than younger ones. Here's one of a bajillion review/summaries out there: "Perhaps Haim’s genius was helping parents capture the meaning behind children’s words and deeds. There is nothing quite as sooth...more
Liam's preschool's book club book. Definitely eye-opening and I couldn't help reflecting on how my parents didn't communicate with me well growing up. It has already made me talk to Liam differently not to mention my students. While it sounds easy, in the moment, it's sometimes hard to remember. Reflecting your child's feelings is key. Acknowledging their wishes and desires is a must. Every phrase we use has to be in the name of humanity and creating a human being so no judging, criticizing or n...more
Concise, meaningful descriptions of effective parent-child communication. Some of Ginott's suggestions made sense immediately, and this book has made it easy to share my views with others. Other of Ginott's suggestions didn't seem immediately helpful, so hubby and I tried them out with each other. Loved each one. The skills Ginott teaches result in respectful, validating, and truthful communication. I appreciate it when hubby uses the skills with me. As I've changed my thinking and used these sk...more
I had read snippets of this book while studying at BYU-I, so when I saw it on the shelves at the library I decided to read it all. I really liked it. It gives a lot of wonderful advice that is very helpful to healthy communication with children/anyone really. I have used it a lot with Melanie, reflecting feelings, letting her think for herself instead of telling herwhat to do and I find it to be helpful.
The only hesitation I have with this book is the last couple sections. Besides being tender t...more
The only hesitation I have with this book is the last couple sections. Besides being tender t...more
I actually took notes while reading, which took me back to college days, but I learned a few great things about parenting. However, I felt like there was no information about, "Well, what if what you suggested doesn't work?" making it seem like kids will be so compliant once you communicate correctly. Yeah right. A lot of info seemed to be for older kids (than mine) but I can apply some info now. Two irritations: the counsel on clothing (sorry, I'm not going to let my daughter dress like a whore...more
Very, VERY thought-provoking. Even when I disagreed with Dr. Ginott (whose last name I'd love to know how to pronounce), it was generally over the implementation of a principle, not the principle itself. His approach kicks the casual, reactionary, parent-child dialogue rather out the door, and it took me a little while to really understand what he was saying.
The biggest concept I took from his book is summarized like this: parents provide physical first aid for physical injuries, but we *also* n...more
The biggest concept I took from his book is summarized like this: parents provide physical first aid for physical injuries, but we *also* n...more
I think Dr. Ginott's work is very wonderful. This book, however, is dated. The gender and sexuality components are simply too 1950s and are beyond not useful and into potentially harmful, in my opinion. So I'm recycling this book. BUT I highly recommend "Liberated Parents, Liberated Children," also in my book list, which is early 1960s, I think, and written by some of the mothers in one Ginott's groups. That one is a little dated, but not too bad, and it retains a lot of the great things Ginott...more
Jun 18, 2007
Andrea
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
parents
Shelves:
non-fiction
I had this parenting book recommended by a website that was dismayed at the plethora of parenting advice that just addresses the situations, without addressing the root cause of problems, and advice that seems lacking in love ("provoke not your children to wrath"). When I got it in the mail, I recognized the cover from my mom's bookshelf, where I had snuck peeks in it as a kid to see what devious techniques my parents were using on us (I was pretty disappointed).
The book's main point is that the...more
The book's main point is that the...more
I don't read a lot of parenting books, because most of them are frightening, irritating, or patronizing, but this one I found really interesting, illuminating, and useful. The object of the book is to teach you how to understand your child's thought processes and emotions, and learn how best to communicate with him/her. The focus is not so much on getting obedience (although that will theoretically follow), but on establishing peace, happiness, and understanding, which is more important.
Read a 1952 version of this. It's reiterating the ideas that are discussed in How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, but this time they are straight from the expert himself. There was actually one line I read last night that I disagreed with, a bit of pop pyschology that flies in the face of the teachings of Jesus, but overall, still a lot of great advice on parent/child relationships.
I now know what parents from my childhood had this style of parenting, whether they had...more
I now know what parents from my childhood had this style of parenting, whether they had...more
This book has a lot in common with "Happiest Toddler on the Block" (a book I'm reading much more slowly because I own it) except this book is more geared for older children who can have normal conversations. Both books basically say that it is more important to let your child know you understand how they feel before reacting to their behavior (if at all). I found a lot of the anecdotal "wrong way to do it" examples a bit extreme, but I suppose it gets the point across. I would like to read this...more
I picked this up because I have heard that every parent must read this book. I would have to agree, but I would also add that they should pick it up once there children are beginning to communicate. It was very informative but seeing as how my daughter is 7 weeks old I will have to re-read this book at a later date. It is full of examples of proper communication, and I especially found the italic print the most useful. I learned many things and cant wait to re-read it soon!
O.K. actually I have yet to finish this book if you must know the truth. But the first two chapters that I have read are great and I truly believe that EVERY parent should read this book when they have kids. In fact I think that every parent-want-to-be should be required to read this book.
This book gives you the tools for learning to communicate effectively and in a respectable manner to your child(ren).
Some of my YES quotes from the book are as follows:
*"Don't be a parent, be a human being who...more
This book gives you the tools for learning to communicate effectively and in a respectable manner to your child(ren).
Some of my YES quotes from the book are as follows:
*"Don't be a parent, be a human being who...more
As a parent, I learned a lot from this book about keeping cool with my kids in stressful situations. Between Parent and Child teaches the reader not to suppress negative emotion but to express it in constructive ways. We've heard these messages before: "Use 'I' messages." Say, "When you scream, it hurts my ears and makes me angry," instead of "Stop screaming right now!" Say, "You wish we could have ice cream now, and it makes you sad that we have to have lunch first," instead of, "No, we can't h...more
Jun 24, 2012
Kryptique
added it
Now I need to go back through and take notes! This style resonates really well with me, and yet I can see how it will take some practice, patience, and LOTS of mindfulness to teach myself how to word things more kindly and respectfully. It goes against my impulse reactions for now, but anyone can learn and change. I like especially his very specific suggestions in how to interact effectively and kindly with children, what to say and not say, and scenarios demonstrating what he means. Great paren...more
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Haim G. Ginott was a teacher, child psychologist and psychotherapist, who worked with children and parents. He pioneered techniques for conversing with children that are still taught today. His book, Between Parent and Child,. stayed on the best seller list for over a year and is still popular today.
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“What do we say to a guest who forgets her umbrella? Do we run after her and say "What is the matter with you? Every time you come to visit you forget something. If it's not one thing it's another. Why can't you be like your sister? When she comes to visit, she knows how to behave. You're forty-four years old! Will you never learn? I'm not a slave to pick up after you! I bet you'd forget your head if it weren't attached to your shoulders." That's not what we say to a guest. We say "Here's your umbrella, Alice," without adding "scatterbrain."
Parents need to learn to respond to their children as they do to guests.”
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Parents need to learn to respond to their children as they do to guests.”
