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The New Dare to Discipline
Why are boundaries so important? Do children really want limits set on their behavior? Is it okay to spank my child, or will it lead him to hit others and become a violent person? Join the millions of caring parents who have found much-needed answers to their questions in the wisdom of parenting expert and family counselor Dr. James Dobson. "The New Dare to Discipline" is...more
Paperback, 276 pages
Published
March 22nd 1996
by Tyndale House Publishers
(first published November 30th 1969)
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Jun 01, 2007
Leann
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
parents or parents-to-be
Shelves:
parenting
The best thing about this book is that it reminds you to be consistent in your parenting. It isn't all about corporal punishment, though it does advocate that as a method of discipline for the worst of offenses. Instead, it tells you to tailor the discipline to the offense and the child, and reminds you to make sure to be in tune with your children to make sure that the actions your punishing are actual rebellion and not just tiredness, over-stimulation or even sickness. The book also advocates...more
DTD was written during a time when parents erred on the side of being too lax. homes typically lacked much of any discipline, so dobson did a great service by balancing things out and calling on parents to set limits. i've seen many, however, misuse its message as an excuse for being too harsh and too physical in their discipline, which is why i gave it 2 stars. i still think it is a good book for those who tend to be too lax, however.
This is a tough book to review. The first 4 chapters are about disciplining your child, with a strong emphasis on spanking. My husband & I choose not to spank. Especially after reading the excellent parenting books, The Five Love Languages of Children and Personality Plus for Parents, I believe that spanking isn't a good way to discipline, and there are even some children who would be damaged emotionally by it. I just tried to replace "spanking" with "timeouts" in my head. The next section c...more
This book was my introduction to Dr. Dobson. Read between 1977 and 1979, when our older son was three to five years old. It seemed to radical then; today it must seem antediluvian. But it rings true, and it works.
There's no magic formula for anything involving human beings, but it was a helpful starting point; certainly better than much of the claptrap being foisted on parents then and now.
There's no magic formula for anything involving human beings, but it was a helpful starting point; certainly better than much of the claptrap being foisted on parents then and now.
Finally, a book that is applicable to toddlers and teenagers! I'll admit to only having read the first 100 pages or so, and skimming the rest as it's not applicable to me yet. It's a quick and engaging read, and has lots of good ideas and advice. The guy seems balanced - he's not overly fluffy and all "oh, your baby is made of kittens and rainbows and thus sometimes when Saturn wanes purple he will get grumpy and you mustn't scold him for fear of damaging his inner chakras," and he's also not in...more
So I picked this up, knowing that my folks had it around the house, and that I want to do discipline well for my son, and maybe even pick up a few pointers for school. I'm impressed by the wisdom of Dobson, I think he's appropriately advocating discipline that's thought-out, balanced, not spiteful, not heartless, etc. The book is a jumble of patched together thoughts, a bit difficult to stick with and draw pointers from. I'm looking for an instruction manual, or a descriptions of appropriate act...more
It's a great book overall. The only vibe is I still can't bring myself to spank my kids. I tried it once (which wasn't even a real spanking) on my girl and she looked at me with disgust and said 'what's with that?'. After that, I'd never used it again. I went back to using reasoning, time-out and withdrawal of privileges. Because it just reminds me too much of how I felt when my mom spanked me when I was a kid. I pretty much remember the spankings more than any other events during my childhood....more
- This review is just for me. I figure I will reread these parenting books and want a quick reminder of the content
- great reminder on the importance of discipline - immediate reward or punishment is important - parent needs to be calm and in control of situation - in support of spanking - supports differentiated instruction in the classroom - be proactive about answering questions about sex as the child grows instead of a diatribe - problems with children's behaviors is directly related to pare...more
- great reminder on the importance of discipline - immediate reward or punishment is important - parent needs to be calm and in control of situation - in support of spanking - supports differentiated instruction in the classroom - be proactive about answering questions about sex as the child grows instead of a diatribe - problems with children's behaviors is directly related to pare...more
The author's perspective is decidedly dated, so a lot of his examples and language feel distractingly out of touch. That said, the broad principles he lays out -- consistency, meaningful rewards, parental authority, and thoughtful discipline as a expression of loving care -- are valuable and wise. I suspect that many parents (ahem, like maybe my own) would take his examples of how to apply the principles very literally, rather than coming up with their own methods that make sense for their famil...more
I don't have kids, so I can't relate to the experiences, I just read this for information's sake.
That said, I appreciated that he was trying to come at it from a religious perspective. I appreciated his views on morality. I agree that the parent needs to be in charge and there needs to be discipline and consequences.
But, a lot of this book read as "in defense of my opinion" rather than a very helpful guidebook. And a lot of his suggestions for toddlers were exactly the same things I read in...more
That said, I appreciated that he was trying to come at it from a religious perspective. I appreciated his views on morality. I agree that the parent needs to be in charge and there needs to be discipline and consequences.
But, a lot of this book read as "in defense of my opinion" rather than a very helpful guidebook. And a lot of his suggestions for toddlers were exactly the same things I read in...more
I know that there's an updated version of this book, and that might make it feel more relevant, but so much has happened since the edition I read came out. Dobson seems to target hippies--not in their values or anything but in their evident lack of discipline--and writes an inordinate amount about how lack of discipline at home and in schools causes problems in society.
And he wrote all of this before school shootings and the wars on drugs and terrorism became daily concerns.
When I say that bit a...more
And he wrote all of this before school shootings and the wars on drugs and terrorism became daily concerns.
When I say that bit a...more
Although still gestating at this moment, the aspect of bearing children that frightens me the most is not the physical abuse pregnancy inflicts on my body, not the pain of labor, but the fact that I'm going to have to discipline my child. I was never good at it as a baby-sitter or Sunday school teacher, and I know that i'm not going to magically acquire the skills to discipline my children just because they happen to enter the world and be mine.
I highly recommend this book - the first half was...more
I highly recommend this book - the first half was...more
Lots of good things to think about. I loved the charting ideas and was glad to see that someone else believes there is a time to spank for things like running into the street etc. I want to come back and read it again when my kids are older since much of the second half of the book is geared toward school aged children.
I am just waiting to get my hands on a book that answers all my questions about toddlers and what to do with them when the decide to go from being sweet to little monsters.
I am just waiting to get my hands on a book that answers all my questions about toddlers and what to do with them when the decide to go from being sweet to little monsters.
This book me a while to get through. But I am done! I borrowed this from my Bishops wife and I think I am going to have to buy my own copy so I can read it again and again! I like Dr. Dobson's philosophy! I think he is right on. He is very conservative but I really like that! Its refreshing! I learned that I am in charge! I don't know why we forget that, but it felt good to read it. He told a story about a mom who called about her six month old son's fever and he asked what his temperature was a...more
A great reminder of discipline techniques to use with children. Not nearly as much about the use of corporal punishment as I'd thought by reading press reviews. Dobson actually advocates not using corporal punishment in most situations. His chore chart idea has been especially used and loved in our house since I read this. I kept this book as I think it will be handy to keep for reference or refreshing later.
Started out strong with great reminders for any parent. The second half of the book went into issues that I am not currently dealing with due to the ages of my children, but that will be beneficial if I can remember them in four years. I believe this books principles are not unique to this Dobson book and will be found in his other child rearing books. So if you have never read Dobson this is a proper introduction to some of his main parenting suggestions.
I started to read this and got about 80 pages in or so and decided to not complete it. I was very disappointed in this book and felt like Dr. Dobson approached child rearing in a philosphical way instead of a biblical way. Very seldomnly did he refer to the Bible and God's viewpoint and occassionally referred to "mother nature" and things like that. There are so many philosophies out there on what is the right way to raise a child and I have prayed for my mind to be clear and free from finding a...more
Interesting but most of this approach is way too strict in my opinion. And listen, you don't often hear me say that. There were some ideas that I agree with or at least can look at them as food for thought. I read this book at the same time I read Cesar Milan's book on training puppies - and I have to say if you compare the two/ or if you followed each approach/ "Dare to Disc." with the kids and Cesar's approach with the dog - I believe the dog would be the one living the better life.
I hesitate to say that it was 5 stars amazing because it seemed common sense. However, I realize that the "common sense" stems from our background in our Christian views and also being surrounded by other Godly parents who are using these techniques and have been for generations. There was some good hands on things gained from it.
This book is the backbone to how my wife and I have raised our children. I feel very blessed to be able to say that I am very happy with how they have turned out and that I have stayed and am still very good friends with them, even through their teen age years. :-) I cannot recommend it highly enough.
This book was really helpful and I definitely needed some help. It has a lot of basic principles, but I like the way he organizes them. I definitely learned a lot about why and how effective discipline is really important for my kids. I feel a lot more confident in my ability as a mom and how important it is to take on that role, rather than becoming just my kid's friend. I feel like it gave me some good tools for dealing with my strong willed 2 year old. Dobson is great because he isn't afraid...more
I agreed with alot of what Dobson says regarding discipline - be consistent, reward good behavior, and make your child understand that you dislike their behavior, not THEM, when you DO discipline them. You're not doing them a favor by allowing them free reign. And THANK HEAVENS for a solid stance on morality too!
I also appreciated his thoughts on teachers. Coming from a family of teachers, I've seen firsthand the stressful problems they have to deal with now - not just teaching students, but bas...more
I also appreciated his thoughts on teachers. Coming from a family of teachers, I've seen firsthand the stressful problems they have to deal with now - not just teaching students, but bas...more
A somewhat good book to get you thinking about disciplining, but it seemed to really be on the defense about spanking and didn't really have a lot of alternate ideas. I do agree however that we need to take responsibility and really teach and discipline our children.
While great for children older than five, i don't recommend this for toddlers or preschoolers. None of the logic or ways to deal with your children will be effective. I am holding onto this book for when my children are older as I do have high hopes for it.
I read the 1970's version and so many things he said are very true today. Were I starting now, I would read the updated version. Loved the part about there being 4 different types of learners/students. Helpful info for me as a parent and teacher.
I got this book at McKay's for 50 cents, and it was certainly an interesting read! The ideas presented were not vastly different from the ideas I have read in other discipline books, but the way in which they were presented was a little off-putting. I felt as if I was listening to a private conversation that Dobson was having with one of his buddies, which--while fine for someone who already understands where he's coming from-- would not be appropriate for an audience who might not understand hi...more
I checked this book out from the library but I need to buy a copy to keep at home. Lots of good tips, for children of all ages. Will make an excellent resource throughout the journey of parenting.
Pretty common-sense advice, such as:
-be consistent
-don't give in to whining
-follow through with consequences the first time a child disobeys instead of nagging
etc.
I think you would read this same (good) advice in any child-rearing book, but this was presented in a disturbingly Dobsony way.
My very favorite part of the book was when Dobson was listing all the horrible things teens were into in the 70s such as drug usage and vandalism, and he included "civil disobedience" in the list! Oh, those ho...more
-be consistent
-don't give in to whining
-follow through with consequences the first time a child disobeys instead of nagging
etc.
I think you would read this same (good) advice in any child-rearing book, but this was presented in a disturbingly Dobsony way.
My very favorite part of the book was when Dobson was listing all the horrible things teens were into in the 70s such as drug usage and vandalism, and he included "civil disobedience" in the list! Oh, those ho...more
Not exactly what I was thinking it would be, but I think he does a good job going over general principles and giving lots of good stories as examples.
I like James Dobson but I didn't really care for this book because it was written as if he were casually talking and I don't like that style of writing.
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James C. Dobson is a psychologist, commentator, and writer. He is the founder of Focus on the Family, a group advocating what he views as Christian ethics and political conservatism, and hosts a radio program of the same name.
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Oct 20, 2010 07:19pm