Just Checking: Scenes From the Life of an Obsessive-Compulsive

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Just Checking: Scenes From the Life of an Obsessive-Compulsive

3.61 of 5 stars 3.61 · rating details · 590 ratings · 95 reviews

We all worry. We all have moments of unfounded dread (Is someone behind that door?), or little phobias (roaches) or superstitions (step on a crack) that we indulge. Just Checking is an autobiographical account of what it is like to live with a full-blown case of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which, at its height, finds author Emily Colas nervous that she will contra...more We all worry. We all have moments of unfounded dread (Is someone behind that door?), or little phobias (roaches) or superstitions (step on a crack) that we indulge. Just Checking is an autobiographical account of what it is like to live with a full-blown case of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which, at its height, finds author Emily Colas nervous that she will contract a disease from blood that she sees on television. In the course of the book, what at first appear to her husband and friends to be Colas's idiosyncratic notions accumulate until she is frozen by the astounding psychological binds of OCD. Using precise (of course), connect-the-dots scenes, Colas draws a life that is at first highly monitored and ultimately unraveled by her disorder.

One imagines that from afar, Colas's behavior at the height of her illness would look incomprehensible and just plain weird: She has to check the dishwasher multiple times before using it to make sure the cat is safe; the packaging of every new toothbrush has to meet rigorous sanitary standards; the landlord can't attempt to find new tenants for her apartment she won't let them in the house. But readers are not at a distance here. Instead, we become privy to Colas's somewhat apologetic but firm explanations of what her logic was, and what it felt like to be afraid. She is so honest and witty that one can't help liking her, rooting for her, and wishing help would come.

In a typical vignette, when the family tries to go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade ("definitely a mistake"), Colas is terrified that shewillstep on blood:

When I was a kid in New York, all we had to eat on the street were pretzels and hot dogs. Food that was readily identifiable. Now, vendors sell the fanciest things with cherries, berries, jelly, and other crap that's way too close to the color of blood. We finally made it to where we had to go, but not before I had inspected the bottom of my shoes. There was a mushy red object there. Maybe a cherry, possibly a finger. The kids watched the parade on TV and I had a nice new worry. My kids don't even remember that lovely November day, but, lucky for me, I do.

This event is sad and resonant, but it also manages to be viscerally entertaining. The result is that instead of inspiring schadenfreude, this book reminds us that psychological disorders are often exaggerations of the ordinary and familiar. We all, on a continuum, wish to survive, to avoid disease, to impose order on our lives. We sympathize with Colas's desperate attempts to find safety and with her seemingly loving husband's gradual loss of tolerance. Even the not-so-funny poems that are occasionally interspersed among the perfectly crafted chapterettes find their place. Strange as it may be to find charm in a memoir of illness, Colas is utterly winning.

Hilary Liftin is a writer living in New York City. Her first book, coauthored with Kate Montgomery, is scheduled for publication by Vintage next year. She is the editorial development manager at BookWire (www.bookwire.com).

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Paperback, 165 pages

Published June 1st 1999 by Washington Square Press

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Apr 28, 2012 Stephanie rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: No one

Recommended to Stephanie by: Random Purchase

I picked up this book at a Goodwill, so I didn't spend much money on it. I am so glad! It is described as "laugh-out-loud hilarious". It also seemed interesting. OCD has always fascinated me, and I've been hooked on memoirs where people overcome obstacles in their lives. I wanted to like this book. There were a few things that kept me from enjoying it.

*Possible Spoilers*

I enjoyed the first quarter of the book. After that, it felt to me that Colas had a lot of people in her life that enabled her....more I picked up this book at a Goodwill, so I didn't spend much money on it. I am so glad! It is described as "laugh-out-loud hilarious". It also seemed interesting. OCD has always fascinated me, and I've been hooked on memoirs where people overcome obstacles in their lives. I wanted to like this book. There were a few things that kept me from enjoying it.

*Possible Spoilers*

I enjoyed the first quarter of the book. After that, it felt to me that Colas had a lot of people in her life that enabled her. Her husband seemed like a nice guy, but he was also an enabler. He wanted her to seek help, while also indulging her whims. Like eating bites of her food first to ensure it wasn't poisoned, taking 20 bags of garbage out one bag at a time, asking waiters about their cuts to make sure that they were not getting blood in their food, etc. At the same time though, he can be very harsh. His response to Colas' questions about getting rabies while pregnant and not being able to get the vaccine in time, "I guess you'll die." And that's just her husband. She also has neighbors at the end of the book who come and eat her food for her because she thinks it might be poisoned and she wants someone else to eat it first.

And that brings me to another problem. Colas worries so much that things will harm her, yet doesn't care if they harm others. The food tasting is one thing. It isn't ok if she gets poisoned, but it's ok if her husband or neighbors do. She didn't like the garbage bin at her apartment so she hoarded their garbage, and when it got to be too much she would have her husband take it out. He would do this one bag at a time while she watched from a window to make sure he did it right. When he came back he would wash his hands, get another bag, repeat. If he happened to get something on him while doing this, Colas would make him go back and search through the garbage to find out what it was that he got on himself. She would then make him throw his clothes away and shower immediately. The things she would ask of others just got so selfish. I couldn't believe it. She even gets to a point in the book where she begins collecting her kids toys to throw away because she doesn't like the glitter. It's only her husband who gets her to stop.

I got the feeling when reading the book that Colas did these things because she could. Because there were always people around her who would enable her whims. She also doesn't have to worry about having a job, so she gets to stay at her house all day further cementing her OCD. She talks often in the book about how medication would help. When she finally does take medication she gets better, surprise! But it takes her husband leaving her, and hitting rock bottom for her to realize this.

And that's another thing. Colas and her husband separate, and then get back together for a little bit. During this time period when they might sort of be getting back together, she cheats on him! With a guy she knew in high school, and who appears and disappears just as quickly. It seems like he was just another way for her to put herself first, just like all the many whims she has throughout the book.

Finally, the way the book is written is frustrating. I like the her writing style, but the segments jump around so much that I found it hard to really know what exactly it was that Colas was trying to say when writing this book. I think the book could have been better organized.

I'm not saying I don't think she had OCD. She definitely struggled. But so many of her struggles didn't just hamper her quality of life, but also her husband's and her children's, her family's and friend's. She seems like a smart woman, and she knew she needed help. She knew she would get better if she got help, yet she didn't until her marriage fell apart.(less)

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May 07, 2011 Nenia Campbell rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: x-1990s

I don't think there was anything "heartbreaking" about this story. I actually found the author to be pretty repulsive. It's pretty clear that her mother had OCD, and that her parents' separation likely resulted from her mother's odd whims--a grim foreshadowing of her own future relationship problems.

Not that I'm insensitive. As a Psychology major, I've been well-instructed in the devastating impacts that all mental disorders can have on every day life. OCD, in particular, can have a huge impact,...more

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Jul 09, 2010 Harkinna rated it 5 of 5 stars

Erica, my sister, tells me that she thinks I have an anxiety problem. What does that mean? I worry too much.

Personally I think I have got a pretty good handle on things. There are two categories: things you can control and things you can’t. If it falls into the former, I worry, if not, I don’t. Easy. But a lot of things fall into that first category. What can I control? I don’t really know.

My aunt thinks I worry about Grammy too much. Erica has given me that lecture too.

I am reading Just Checkin...more Erica, my sister, tells me that she thinks I have an anxiety problem. What does that mean? I worry too much.

Personally I think I have got a pretty good handle on things. There are two categories: things you can control and things you can’t. If it falls into the former, I worry, if not, I don’t. Easy. But a lot of things fall into that first category. What can I control? I don’t really know.

My aunt thinks I worry about Grammy too much. Erica has given me that lecture too.

I am reading Just Checking by Emily Colas. Written in 1998, the book is billed as “Scenes from the Life of An Obsessive-Compulsive.”

“Recipe for a Worry: Take one pound morbid preoccupation and mix vigorously with one cup overactive imagination. In a separate bowl, add one-part hypersensitivity to three parts increased hormone activity. Fold together and let stew for hours on end.”

This pretty well describes how I worry. Everything is fine, and then bam I am worrying about having cervical cancer or why Grammy is not answering the phone or whatever.

There are a group of maladies that seem to all run together: OCD, Turrets Syndrome, and Aspberger Syndrome and all are present in my extended family. Not to mention my father’s mother, and then dad’s ability to think about an event so much that they could remold what happened in their heads into the story that they wanted. No matter what controverting evidence you might bring to the discussion, dad remembered what happened and his version was the correct one.

The book really zings the reader. You can see the train wreck coming as can the author. She know she is acting crazy when she is worried that she might develop a blood born illness from touching the TV screen when there was blood on a TV show. But she can’t stop worrying about it.

Now I want to know how her life has turned out: has the internet helped her? She can look up all of the things that she would call doctors about. Of course there are other maladies to learn about out there too on the internet.

This is a great book for getting into the head of someone with OCD. And I feel bad for her that she can’t just let some of the things go. At one point, after the TV incident, her husband yells at her (something like this, I can’t find the exact quote now…): “If you get sick from the blood on the TV show then you will die.”

Which makes me feel like all of her issues, and I know my anxiety issues, revolve around dying, or rather not wanting anyone you know or yourself to die. This appears to fall into the “can’t control” pile, which is where I am going to work on leaving it. (less)

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Mar 17, 2011 Anne rated it 4 of 5 stars

'Just Checking' is a series of vignettes that are honest, startling, at times very funny yet also deeply emotional. Emily relates her journey through life, from incidents during childhood, to the present day - along her journey she has been accompanied by the symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. These symptoms and this disorder have shaped Emily's whole life and her personality.
It is apparant from the writing that Emily is an intelligent woman, she realises that her thoughts and actions ar...more

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May 31, 2013 Iliana Medrano rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book is basically life through the eyes of a women suffering from OCD from little things like washing the dishes to checking everything to see if there is blood on it. Emily Colas takes you through the ups and downs of her life while also dealing with her disorder.

One thing I really liked was the descriptions. It was literally like everything that went through her mind, EVERY single thought and I loved that because it gave you so much more perspective on how it must feel to have OCD

Somethi...more

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Dec 02, 2008 Elizabeth rated it 5 of 5 stars

I read this heartbreaking true story, about the author who suffers from OCD, in one sitting! She gives us hints of how she became who she is and also offers us a glimpse at the people in her life who provided a net for her. Particularly, there was a heroin addicted friend. The parallels between the 2 were interesting. I like to count and sort to soothe myself. But this and similar behaviors were taken to a whole new level of paralysis. Finally, Emily is medicated @ the end of the book and experi...more

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Jan 01, 2012 Jeannie rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: only people interested in this disorder or wanting to understand it better

I actually hated this book and didn't like the author herself much through all of the book until the end. Then it just clicked and I understood this compulsion.
Honestly, her husband had to have been a saint to put up with all of it, and I think she agrees on that point. I wouldn't have been able to be or stay friends with somoeone like this. The book seems very disjointed to me, it jumps all over the place with one crazy behaviour after the other and it just got annoying for me. I couldn't hand...more

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Dec 13, 2011 Micaela rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, hated-it, memoir

I really, really did not like this book. I thought the author was completely unsympathetic about how her disease affected other people in her life, especially the people she loves the most. I understand that OCD is a dibilitating disease, but we have pills for that. And she didn't want to take them! It sounded like she needed a good therapist and a husband who forced her to go.

All memoirs describe how horrible a person's life is: the beauty is when the author can describe the horrors of life wi...more

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May 19, 2013 Rebekah Ortiz rated it 4 of 5 stars

Emily Colas is a young lady dealing with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). This book is a series of brief stories of her life before she started taking medication for her mental disability. Her condition becomes progressively serious as time goes on and she finds herself trying to make her husband divorce her. Her OCD starts to dominate her world and she starts to really "lose it". I liked this book because it provide an insight to what it was like to have a mental illness. I also liked it be...more

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Jan 04, 2011 Poly Styrene rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, nonfiction, mental-illness, obsessive-compulsive-disorder

I loved this book. Just Checking really blew me away. It is a first hand account of a woman's struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder that displays itself in varying degrees (except when it's full blow for several years as an adult) throughout her life. Unlike any other autobiographical work I've read on mental illness, the author adopts a witty at times almost snarky tone. She presents you with some unbelievably horrifying scenarios (at one point her disorder is so bad that she believes tha...more

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Nov 23, 2010 Kendra rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs, psychology-self-help

I enjoyed this book and it's a really quick read. Kind of along the same lines as "Devil in the Details" if you've ever read that. One major difference though is that this book has extremely short chapters, and I hesitate to even call them that. It's sort of like a collection of extremely short stories (the average is probably around a page) that just happen to flow more-or-less in chronological order. I did enjoy the book though and the ending made me happy :) So I recommend it if you want a qu...more

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Jan 14, 2010 Ashley rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010-books, memoir, psychology

I really wanted to like this book - a personal look at OCD that was touted as a funny yet personal glimpse into one woman's daily rituals and compulsions. David Sedaris even gave the book a great review - how could I not like it?

For starters, Colas is amazingly immature throughout. She manipulates and wheedles and whines until her husband goes along with her "compulsions" (though after a while they felt oddly like whims to me. I swear I could practically hear her thinking, "Hm, I wonder if he'll...more I really wanted to like this book - a personal look at OCD that was touted as a funny yet personal glimpse into one woman's daily rituals and compulsions. David Sedaris even gave the book a great review - how could I not like it?

For starters, Colas is amazingly immature throughout. She manipulates and wheedles and whines until her husband goes along with her "compulsions" (though after a while they felt oddly like whims to me. I swear I could practically hear her thinking, "Hm, I wonder if he'll do [insert inane request here:]?").

My jaw was on the ground when Colas described how she makes her husband take out the garbage. Surprisingly, Colas hoards up to 20 bags of garbage in their apartment. Why? Because she's "afraid" of the communal garbage dumpster. So once the bags become unmanageable and have to be taken out, Colas makes her husband dress in a pair of clothes that will be thrown away after the task. He must wash his hands after each trip (the water is left running for the duration, lest the handles be contaminated). One bag is taken out at a time and he is not allowed to touch the door handles. Colas watches this sordid task play out from the safety her bedroom where she watches over her husband to ensure that no garbage comes into contact with her husband (i.e. liquids from a leaky bag). After had husband has managed to get all the garbage taken out, he must strip from his contaminated clothes (which are thrown away) and then immediately take a shower.

It's no surprise (possible spoiler alert, but I don't know how one wouldn't see this one coming from a mile away...) that Colas and her husband end up separating. I infer that they eventually divorced, though this was never explicitly stated. And I would also lay some blame on her husband for enabling her so much and for so long. When he did stand up to Colas, it was always in a a non-helpful way (i.e. Well I guess if the cereal's contaminated that you'll just die then.), though I'm sure he was at his wit's end, anyway.

Colas' husband requests that she attend individual therapy and couples counseling, which she puts in a barely half-hearted effort towards. And her reasoning? She was brought up to not make herself the center of attention. Um, ok? That's the most ridiculous reason EVER. She also staunchly refuses to take medication. Eventually, she does and - SURPRISE - she's able to carry on a normal life! Who woulda thought??

I also found it incredibly annoying and slightly concerning that she used her kids as scapegoats for her compulsions - when she was pregnant with her second child, she all but flat-out told her husband that her rituals were out of concern for the health of the baby. Of course, once the baby was born and she still was performing her compulsions... And the incident with the eclipse? She kept her kids home from school and sequestered in a far corner of the house so they wouldn't inadvertently look at it and go blind.

And before anyone thinks I'm being overly callous towards Colas' mental illness, why would she complain incessantly about how she would love to not have these compulsions and how they run her life and how they take up so much time but then in the same breath airily dismiss therapy and medication? To me, she came across as someone who wanted to seem like she wanted help, while secretly enjoying the special privileges having OCD afforded her. Example - hardly ever leaving the house, feigning inability to eat in a restaurant with friends/co-workers, refusing to visit her mother-in-law because her house is too clean, not showering for days because she's afraid she'll drop her towel on the ground, never spending time with her husband away from home because the babysitter might use her bathroom. I found her unbearably frustrating - I wanted to grab her by her shoulders and yell at her to grow the eff up already.

It must be nice to not have to work while your husband supports you and the kids while you devolve into a needy, helpless lump. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people with a mental illness don't have that luxury. Colas' memoir is a slap in the face to those people.

Oh, and the ending? Cheese-a-licious. And not in a good way. (less)

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Sep 29, 2009 Lisa rated it 2 of 5 stars

I judge this kind of book against one standard: Is YOUR crazy crazier than MY crazy? And by that I mean me personally, my friends and family, and so on. In this case, kinda sorta, but really, in the end, not really. She starts out strong, when it's easy to see how numerous compulsions are negatively affecting her life. However, once again we end up with a woman safely in the arms of an enabling, loving husband (for awhile, anyway). To put it bluntly, this coddled housewife has free reign to indu...more

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Feb 25, 2009 GateGypsy rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book was written in tiny bites, no one section spanning more than a page or two, which was kindof nice, because it made it easier to read in snippets and quick dips. It was entertaining, humourous, but also very foreign. Not being the compulsive sort, I found it just amazing that this woman laboured under these worries. I must admit I spent most of my time reading it being more grateful that it wasn't me than being particularly entertained. She did interject levity to the subject, of course...more

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Oct 25, 2007 Josh rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

To be fair, I would not call myself obsessive compulsive, (though my wife may have a tinge of it in her) so I cannot wholly relate to Mrs. Colas. However, she knows how to entertain, and the book is full of wit and insight and makes the reader almost feel a voyeur by delving into Colas' eccentric mind. I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions, partly because of her sarcastic writing style, and partly because some of the situations she writes about are so absurd, to think about them...more To be fair, I would not call myself obsessive compulsive, (though my wife may have a tinge of it in her) so I cannot wholly relate to Mrs. Colas. However, she knows how to entertain, and the book is full of wit and insight and makes the reader almost feel a voyeur by delving into Colas' eccentric mind. I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions, partly because of her sarcastic writing style, and partly because some of the situations she writes about are so absurd, to think about them actually happening is funny (perhaps in a dark sort of way.)
From the start of the book you'll realize how the author jumps from one topic to the next without following much of a chronological order. On the same page we will go from a scene from her early childhood to a scene where she's talking about her children. In this sense, the book seems random and that she is not really telling a story. But as you read on you realize that she is telling a story, but perhaps not very well.
The main focus that she seems to always come back to is her relationship with her husband and how they both had to deal with her disorder. While there are many scenes that jump back and forth, for the most part this part of her story progresses forward, but not very clearly. (Possible spoilers, though with this type of book, it's not really ruining anything.) It started to become very confusing as to how many times she and her husband seperated, at what point in her scenes they were actually together, and weather or not they were even together in the end. But even the lack of explanations may not have bothered me as much as her complete lack of writing any kind of emotion. We get to read a lot about her disorder and how it affects her life, but she never really expresses how she feels about any of it.
In one of the scenes in which her husband brings up seperation, he mentions that there is another woman he is interested in. Not only does the author neglect to write about how she feels about this, this topic of the book never comes up again (except once toward the end in a very passive way). Later in the book she talks about an ex fling of hers stopping by and sharing a kiss. She talks to her husband about that and explains how he becomes angry and this leads to them talking once again about seperation. We get to see read about her husband emoting quite a bit, but rarely so with her. The author talks about many aspects of her life, but only how they are affected by her disorder. She almost portrays herself as an ampty shell with the ability to emote nothing but fear and anxiety.
The book did give me some insight into OCD, but really explained very little about it. But I guess that might be the perspective she was going for.
All in all, it is an entertaining read, but frustrating at times. After 165 pages of someone talking about themselves, you think that you would come out knowing something about them, but despite an idea of how OCD can affect one person in the extreme, you don't really come away with too much knowlege at all. It's a lgiht and at times very humorous read, but don't look for anything too deep. (less)

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Feb 17, 2013 Elizabeth rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2013-52

While I really think this book is accurate, and there were lots of times I went "YES" to thinks that Colas described, I got annoyed by her seeming selfishness--her husband had to do everything for her. Granted, he totally let the relationship get that way, and I read this in pretty much one sitting, super fast, so it might have been the way I read it that made her sound this way. I'm going to reread when I get the chance. I really want to like it more than 3 stars.

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Aug 15, 2011 Katie rated it 1 of 5 stars

One of the most irritating memoirs I've ever read. Little more than a stand-up comedy routine, Colas mistakes sarcasm for substance and describes her struggles with obsessive compulsive disorder in a generally unenlightening and unsympathetic way. While there are moments of real wit and occasional flashes of insight, as a whole the book falls flat, and Colas comes across as self-absorbed and, I hate to say it, unlikeable.

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Nov 07, 2008 Amy rated it 5 of 5 stars

My best friend has OCD. The real OCD, not the stupid little quirks and things we all have that people call OCD. This is one of her favorite books, and she gave it to me to read so that I would have a better understanding of what it is like to have this particular disorder, that very much disrupts and interferes with everyday life. It's an honest and rather funny memior, and I really loved it. I've learned a lot about obsessive compulsive disorder from my friend, and because of that, I get pretty...more

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Dec 11, 2008 Allie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I found this book way more funny than i should have. But i couldnt help it her OCD reminded me so much of my mother i found it histarical! Im really happy about the ending, because i must admit some times her "quirks" were very annoying but i liked her style of writing and i would definatly read her again.

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Apr 22, 2013 Ann rated it 2 of 5 stars

I had a lot of hope for this novella about the authors OCD issues which comes to life through this story. However after part one her tales come off whiny and annoying. You can't help but wonder how and why her husband dealt with it all without an intervention. The stories are also disconnected and at times with no purpose at all. An easy read that starts of interesting only to dwindle and become repetitive.

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Jul 08, 2012 Kimberly Ann rated it 4 of 5 stars

I thought this book was pretty good. I am not usually the fan of the tell-all memoir, but the vignette style of this book made it interesting. I also thought she was appropriately funny when funny was appropriate and also when it maybe even wasn't. Some passages seemed like an exaggerated mis-rememberance, but, well, I err on the side of trusting people despite suspicions sometimes.

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May 31, 2013 Jessie rated it 4 of 5 stars

A witty and dark story of the life of a women with OCD. I like that it's told in short vignettes and that it's written with her own internal dialogue. At times it feels a little disjointed, but I really felt wrapped up in her small world of routines and fears. A fast read for sure.

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Jun 23, 2012 Alisa Raymond rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: couldn-t-get-through-it

seriously I could not make it through this book, it was painful. I kept picking it up again to give it another shot and it is just terrible. it's a bunch of like essays or more like journal entries but the stories barely make sense and end abruptedly. I would recommend it.

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Nov 22, 2010 Jessica R. rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book, although written by an OCD person, and it's not something to laugh at...Emily makes it funny. She knows that her disorder is strange and probably unnecessary to everyone else, but she can make you laugh at the same time.

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Jul 27, 2012 Erika mendiola rated it 5 of 5 stars

Done.
"Scars are great. They're this outward symbol of some personal pain. Just by looking at someone's scar, you know the person has suffered. But how about the suffering insane? We have no scars. That's why we have to make them ourselves."

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Mar 21, 2009 Ctknorris rated it 4 of 5 stars

A good read. Read it in an afternoon. Lent my copy to numerous people who all said they have some small compulsive orders they admitted to. It's a game now that we count our syllables to see who has the biggest word.

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May 24, 2012 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars

The book is an easy read. I found myself feeling very sorry for the author of the book and didn't find it as funny as advertised. Maybe I didn't think it was very funny because I could imagine living in such a world.

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Sep 26, 2011 Trena added it

I love this book! It is about a person who is OCD. She is very honest about her strange thoughts and rituals that control her. It really shows just how this illness can make life miserable.

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Mar 28, 2011 Cindy rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, medical

Scenes from the life of an obsessive compulsive. My dad sure wasn't this bad! Maybe I'm mislabeling him.. He was merely a perfectionist. Great book. Very humorous. Read it in one day.

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Apr 12, 2011 Christa L rated it 4 of 5 stars

Terrifying read. Many of her fears were either close to mine or exactly the same and hers got so bad she couldn't even leave the house anymore. Good wake-up call.

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